Doorstep Bundle
by mersedez2001
Summary: Edward the perpetual bachelor, was loving his single life until one day a child he didn't know he had, was left on his door step.Sexward is now being forced to be a stay at home dadward.Better summery inside! A/H, cannon pairing.
1. Chapter 1: Meeting the neighbors

**Summery: Edward the perpetual bachelor, was loving his single life until one day a child he didn't know he had, was left on his door step. Not knowing what to do with a baby, Edward recruit's his neighbor, Bella's, help. Once he realizes that the baby brings Bella, who didn't want to be with him, closer to him he uses it to his advantage. Sexward is now being forced to be a stay at home dadward.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. The plot and story is however, 100% mine.**

**Chapter 1: Meeting the neighbors **

EPOV

"C'mon man. I want to get to the club." Emmett yelled from the living room as I fished a shirt out of my closet.

"I'm coming. Don't get your panties in a bunch." I sighed as I walked into the living room pulling the shirt over my head. "I'm ready, let's go."

Emmet I walked out of my apartment and went across the hall to retrieve Jasper from his and Emmett's apartment. Jasper was ready and we all walked down the hall to find the stairs were blocked by a couch.

"What the fuck is this?" I sighed.

"That's a weird place to sit." Emmett laughed.

Suddenly three girls came walking down the hallway. They were all attractive. One was a tall blonde with legs to kill; one was a short pixie like girl with short black hair that looked like it could take someone's eye out with its sporadic points jetting out from the sides. And the last was a girl had long brown hair pulled into a messy ponytail and glasses, she looked like the classic bookworm.

"Sorry about this." The bookworm waved her hand towards the couch stuck in the stairwell. "We were taking a minute to try and figure out how we could get it out of here."

"I'm sure we can help you." Jasper drawled. "Which way? Coming or going?"

"Coming. We just moved into the apartment at the end of the hall." The spiky one answered.

Emmett got on one end of the couch while Jasper and I took the other end. We tilted the couch on the side and jimmied it over the banister and out of stairwell. We followed the girls down the hall with it and took it into there apartment for them.

The apartment was the biggest in the building. It was nice; it recently had a lot of work done to it. Almost everything in the apartment was new. After Jessica had moved out they had to replace a lot that was destroyed in our sexcapades. Like the walls, counters… table, that one actually hurt a bit. But I wasn't going to tell these girls why it was all redone.

"Thanks a lot." The blonde said. "We probably would have never gotten it in here ourselves."

"It was no problem. I'm Emmett by the way." He said extending his hand to her. "And this is Jasper and Edward."

"I'm Rosalie." She purred. "And this is Alice and Bella."

"Hey, were going down to the bar down the street, Breaking Dawn. You ladies interested in joining us?" It didn't go unnoticed by me that Emmett was talking primarily to Rosalie.

Rosalie looked toward Alice and Bella and they both nodded. "Sure. We just have to change and we will meet you down there."

"Sounds good. See you there." Emmett said as we all went out the door.

"Those girls are smoking hot!" Emmett exclaimed as we walked down the street. Jasper nodded his head in agreement. "Especially Rosalie."

"I like Alice." Jasper added.

"I get left with the bookworm? What the fuck?" I asked. They just laughed.

"She's got that hot librarian thing going on." Emmett said.

We walked into 'Breaking Dawn' and the club was in full swing. Lights flashing, music thumping, alcohol swirling, girls in need of attention in there full sluttish glory. My kind of night.

Jasper and I grabbed a table near the dance floor while Emmett went to the bar to get our beers. We had a perfect table to watch all the girls on the dance floor. Watching girls get drunk and grind on each other was my top three things of favorites. Top two being, having sex, and playing my music. If I could do all three at once I would be in fucking heaven.

We were starting our second round of beers as the girls walked into the bar. It was like a moment from a movie when the three most beautiful girls in the world walked in and the whole room paused to watch them walk in in slow motion. I was waiting for there hair to start blowing behind them.

As the girls walked over to our table I had to do a double take towards Bella. I didn't think it was her at first. The frumpy clothes were gone and replaced with a short denim skirt and a barely there bandana shirt. Her hair was down in long waves, and she had shed the glasses. Bookworm Bella was gone and replaced with my new sex addiction.

I adjusted myself under the table before she sat down next to me. "Hi." I said lamely.

"Hey, Edward right?" She asked. I nodded and she smiled.

I saw the waitress walking by so I grabbed her and I looked toward Bella and asked, "What are you having?"

"What you're drinking is fine." She answered. Hmm, a girl who drinks beer with the big boys, sexy. I don't know why but it is. Don't question my logic, it won't get us anywhere.

The waitress came back with the new drinks. Another round of beers and cosmopolitans for Rosalie and Alice. Bella drank half her beer in one swig as I watched in amazement. Rosalie and Alice dragged Emmett and Jasper onto the dance floor, leaving me and Bella at the table alone.

"Why do they call this place 'Breaking Dawn'?" She asked.

"Because most bars close at two and this one closes at five. Right at dawn." I explained.

"Cleaver." Bella said as she swirled her tongue around the top of her beer bottle. That was not helping my situation under the table.

"So what do you do for a living?" I asked as I shifted a little in my seat.

"I'm a writer. What about you?"

"I'm a writer too. I write music for bands." I answered. "What do you write?"

"Books." She answered matter-of-factly. I was going to ask more about what kinds of things she wrote about when suddenly a tall tan guy wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck.

"Mmm…I see the sexy librarian has come out to play." He said while licking up her neck.

"You know it." She answered as her head fell back to allow him better access.

I shifted uncomfortably; this dude was killing the strain in my pants. What he was doing to her was hot, but him doing it was not. My movement was caught by Bella and she was reminded that I was there.

"Oh, Jake this Edward. Edward this is Jake." She introduced.

Jake looked up from her neck and pulled his mouth away with an audible pop. "Nice to meet you." He said holding his hand out to me.

"You too." I said taking his hand and squeezing it harder then I needed to. He did the same. He sat down on the other side of Bella, picked up her beer and finished it off.

"This," Jake said waving his hand in front of Bella, "is a very Jake approved outfit."

"It should be, you bought it." She laughed.

"Your right. I did." He grabbed her hand as he stood and pulled her up with him. "Let's go show off that hot body of your on the dance floor." I suppressed a growl as he led her away from the table.

"Don't worry, buddy. I will bring her back." He yelled over his shoulder.

I ordered shots from the waitress as she walked by. I had them lined up in front of me as I watched Jake and Bella on the dance floor. I was pounding back the shots as Jake pulled Bella roughly against him and was running his fingers up and down her bare back.

I couldn't believe my reaction to seeing them together. I just met her, and already I was jealous. Not my normal reaction. I watched as Bella turned around and started grinding her ass into Jake's crotch and he held her by the hips, his head falling onto her shoulder, her hands wrapped around his neck and wound into his hair.

_I don't know you, Jake but I hate you._

Shit was starting to get blurry as I finished off my second round of shots. Suddenly there was a hot breath on my neck.

"Want to dance?" I turned my head to come face and face with a short blonde. Not the most attractive, but do-able.

I downed the rest of my beer and stood up from the table, "How about we just get out of here?" She smiled her approval. I threw some money down on the table and saw Emmett and Jasper heading back to the table. "I'm out of here. I will see you guys tomorrow."

I grabbed the blondes hand and pulled her with me out of the bar. I have no idea why Bella, who I just met, was causing me to react this way, but I knew I was about to get rid of my sexual frustration. And hopefully get over my sudden obsession of Bella.

**BPOV**

I was laughing as Jake had me pulled to his chest as was growling while he was playfully biting my neck. My skin was sparkling under the flashing lights from the sweat I had worked up on dance floor. I bumped Jake with my ass to get him off of me, then grabbed his hand and walked back to the table.

I was looking around the room after I noticed Edward was no longer sitting there.

"Jacob, you look as sexy as ever." Rose said.

He did of course, as always. He was wearing hip hugging black jeans showing off his perfect ass, and a button up white dress shirt with a black skinny tie. Jake was always dressed to impressed. He thought I needed to also, hence his buying me clothes all the time. He has always been Alice's favorite shopping buddy.

"Guys this is Jake. Jake this is Emmett and Jasper." I introduced.

"Nice to meet you." They all said and shook hands.

"Well, I'm meeting somebody in about thirty minutes, so I have to head out. It was nice meeting you guys. Ladies, until next time." Jake said kissing us each on the cheek.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Rose yelled.

"Then that means everything is fair game." He laughed over his shoulder.

We all laughed at his statement and Emmett was looking at Rose like he wanted to throw her down on the table and test it to see if she really would do anything.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Jasper asked. All us girls laughed.

"Um…no. Jake is not a one person man." I said.

"You mean one women?" Emmett asked.

"No, I mean one person. Jake's not racist toward anyone if you get what I mean." I winked at him.

"He pitches for both teams?"

"He says he doesn't believe in teams. He loves everybody the same." I laughed. "But, he has his standers and there high. Don't think he's like a whore or anything."

The waitress brought another round of drinks. I continued to look around the bar but couldn't spot Edward anywhere. "Where did Edward go?" I asked.

"He took off. I think he thought you and your friend were together and he didn't want to be the seventh wheel." Jasper explained.

"Oh, now I feel bad." I said.

"Don't be." Emmett laughed. "He didn't leave alone."

My mouth formed an o as realization hit of what he was saying. Well, I no longer felt bad.

We stayed at the club for a couple more hours then headed home. Some walked, some wobbled, and Alice rode on Jasper's back. I was just hoping to be able to make it up the stairs. After crawling up the stairs I made it into the apartment while Alice and Rose went into Emmett and Jasper's apartment.

_Easy bitches._

I walked into my bedroom and stripped off my clothes and threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and flopped down on my bed.

Just as I was about to fall asleep I heard music start playing from next door. I groaned and put a pillow over my head. I sat straight up in bed as soon as something banged into the wall.

Bang, bang, bang.

"What the fuck is that?" I said to no one as I stared at the wall behind me.

"Oh, god!" A female voice yelled. "Give it to me!"

Bang, bang, bang

Then I heard the grunt of a male. "You have got to be kidding me." I sighed. I sat in the middle of the bed while my whole bed shook.

"Harder…faster…oh, yes…Edward." The female screamed. "Give it to me!"

Bang, bang, bang

I stood up from the bed and faced the wall and shouted, "Can't you _give it to her _against a different wall?"

Everything went silent then came, Bang, bang, bangbangbang.

Jesus, he is going to thrust her right through the fucking wall.

I grabbed my pillow and blanket, punched the wall, and then headed for the living room. I lay down on the couch and tried to tune out the noise of my bedroom wall being destroyed.

This better not be an every night thing with him. I threw the pillow over my head and tried to fall to sleep.

I couldn't believe just a few hours ago, I wanted to _be_ on the other side of that wall.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this. The baby should be coming in the next chapter. I wanted to set up a relationship with the adults first. I will update this story as often as I can as I wrap up my other story. If you haven't read my other story, go check it out. It's called, Payback on the Player's. I will update this story soon if you like it. So review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2: Bundle of Cheese

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…it's sad but it's true.**

**I have to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are awesome. I got a better response then I was expecting. I hope you like this chapter. Read and review!**

**Chapter 2: Bundle of Cheese**

**BPOV**

After I fell asleep I had stayed asleep. Thank goodness this couch was beyond comfortable. If Edward had visitors every damn night, this couch would become my new bed.

After I woke up I went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. I made extra because I figured Rosalie and Alice would be dragging there asses across the hall soon. I was right. Just as I sat down at the table with my plate they all came through the door.

"I smell food." Emmett said rubbing his stomach as he walked into the kitchen.

"I made plenty. Help yourself." I said waving a hand to the pancakes, eggs, and bacon on the table.

"Did you sleep on the couch last night?" Rose asked while looking at my blanket and pillow that were still on the couch.

"Ugh…yes." I sighed. "Edward was having some special fun with a friend and it was shaking my whole damn bed."

"I will tell him to keep it down for you." Jasper said.

Suddenly we heard his door open and I jumped up and said, "I think I will tell him myself right now."

I walked to the door and leaned against the doorframe after I opened it. I watched as Edward was saying goodbye to a short blonde girl. The girl looked worse for the wear. Her hair was a wild mess, makeup smudged everywhere on her face. She kept talking to Edward as he just looked annoyed.

"Call me." The girl said running a finger down Edwards bare chest.

"I will." He sighed. Finally she turned to walk away. That was when she saw me watching there exchange.

"Oh, good morning." She said sounding embarrassed.

"Good morning." I smiled. "That walk of shame can be a real bitch sometimes, huh?"

The girl looked down and walked away faster. I looked up to see Edward looking at me with a crooked grin. "Are you going to call her?" I asked giving my own crooked grin.

"Hell no." He laughed. Must be this really is a frequent thing with him.

"Well, from now on could you keep from banging your whores against my bedroom wall?"

Edward closed his door and moved closer to me, so close I could feel his breath fan across my face, "I know you want me to bang you against your bedroom wall."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself there skipper." I said pushing him away from me. My hand lingered a little longer on his chest then it needed to. Of course, he noticed and grinned.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" He asked. "No walk of shame for him?"

"Who?" I questioned confused.

"That big guy, Jake."

"Oh." I laughed. "Jake is not my boyfriend. Actually he left right after you did last night. _For his date_." Aw was big bad Edward jealous?

"Want some breakfast?" I asked turning back towards my door.

Edward followed me silently into the kitchen where everybody was eating. I sat back down at my plate and told Edward to help himself.

"What are you guys doing here?" Edward asked Emmett and Jasper while he loaded up his plate.

"Same as you, eating." Emmett answered around a mouth full of food. "Damn girl, this shit is good. We might have to eat here for every meal."

"Why do you think we brought her with us when we moved?" Alice laughed.

Before I could respond to her comment, Jake came walking through the door. He was wearing running shorts and a black tank top. I take it he switched his morning running route to include our apartment as one of his stops.

"Hello, my ladies." He said. "Oh my my my. Did I miss out on an orgy party or something?" He was referring to the fact that we were all in our pajamas and the guys were all shirtless.

"No." I laughed. "Even though I think I might be the only one innocent of that."

"What a shame Bella baby." He laughed as he sat down across from me.

"So how was your date?" I asked.

"Ugh." He rolled his eyes dramatically. "He was great, perfect really, until he opened his damn mouth."

Edward choked on his pancake and said, "He?"

"You heard me right, I said he." Jake answered. "You can be the sexiest person in the world but if you talk like you have a brain malfunction, your mouth is not coming anywhere near my body."

"So you're gay?" Edward asked. I noticed he physically relaxed with the thought.

"Jacob loves women too." I leaned over and said. I giggled when I saw Edward become tense again.

"Yeah, Jake isn't gay or straight. He is in a class all on his own." Rose said.

"You got that right." Jake laughed. "Do you guys always run around here half naked? Because if that's the case I might just come over more often. You girls can feel free to take your shirts off too."

"It's a morning thing." Jasper said joining the conversation.

"Good to know." Jake winked in his direction. I think everyone knew that Jake was joking, except maybe Edward. "Well people, I would love to stick around and enjoy the sights but I have to finish my run. Alice we still on for shopping later?"

"Yes, sir." She announced excitedly.

"Good. I need to get Bella some sexy new nighties with all the man meat running around here now." I rolled my eyes at him.

After everyone was done eating I cleared the table and started to do dishes while everyone went on there way to get themselves ready for the day. I was just putting the dishes into the sink as I felt someone staring at me. I turned around to see Edward watching me.

"Do you want some help?" He asked.

"Sure." I answered moving over to give him room to join me at the sink. We washed almost all of the dishes before he broke the silence.

"So, I was wondering." He said.

"Yes?" I coaxed him to continue.

"Do you want to go out with me tonight?"

"Like a date?" He nodded. "Umm…no I don't think so." I answered.

"Why not?" He questioned.

"I don't date male whores"

"I am not a whore." He scoffed.

"Oh, really?" I said raising an eyebrow in his direction. "So that girl from last night, you know her?"

"I do now."

"What's her name?" I questioned.

"Umm…Samantha? Rebecca? No." He pulled out a slip of paper from his pants pocket and then said, "Kate."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't even know her name." I laughed. "And you're not going to call her. That screams whore to me."

"Okay, if I call her back, then will you go out with me?"

"Sorry but you have already proved you are a whore." I laughed.

"I will prove myself to you. That is my new mission in life." I couldn't help but laugh at how he sounded.

That was how Edward talked for the next two weeks. He did call Kate and went out with her on a couple real dates. Then after every date he would come over and talk about it with me. We would, on the nights he wasn't out with Kelly, have movie nights with Rose and Emmett and Jasper and Alice.

Every night Edward would ask me out and every night I would turn him down. As attractive as he was and how comfortable I was with him I still couldn't see him as a one women person and I don't want to be in an open relationship. It's never been my thing.

A couple of time Edward and Kate's dates went further then he said he planned on and I had to move to the couch while he banged his damn bed against my bedroom wall. How he could have sex and then in the morning ask me out blew my mind, and just proved my point.

"What the hell now?" I said sitting up on the couch where I had fallen asleep.

I was forced to sleep on the couch after Edward's last round of banging on my wall. I sat and listened for a second. It sounded like someone was crying. All I could think was Edward had hurt Kate. I launched myself off the couch and ran to my door, grabbing an umbrella before I opened the door.

I opened the door slowly and peaked my head out. The crying was coming from the hallway.

"What the fuck?" I said as I made my way over to Edward's front door. There sat a stroller with a baby who was screaming its head off.

"Hi, there." I said to the baby. "Where is your mommy?"

Once I got the baby to stop crying I started knocking on Edward's door. It took ten minutes on knocking before I finally heard noise from inside the apartment.

"Hold on. I'm fucking coming. Son-of-a-bitch!" He screamed after a loud bang. I laughed at the though of him running into something.

"What!" He yelled as he opened the door. "Oh, Bella, hey." He was rubbing his eyes as he tried to focus on me. Suddenly the baby started crying again and he looked down to see it.

His eyes became huge as he took in the baby in the stroller. "Holy shit. You have a kid?"

"No. But, apparently you do." I said.

**EPOV**

Being woken up to Bella standing at my door in the middle of the night in her tiny shorts and tank top was a dream come true that I had been wishing for, for the past couple of weeks. Seeing Bella stand there with a baby, was not part of the dream.

Did she say I have a kid? What the hell is she talking about?

"I don't have any kids. What are you talking about?" I asked.

"This baby was sitting out here all alone." She explained.

"Where the hell are its parents?" I asked looking down the hallway.

"No idea. But the poor thing was out here screaming bloody murder. How you didn't hear it I have no idea. I guess your wall banging activities really tuckered you out." She snorted then leaned over to see the baby better.

She lifted the baby a little then pulled out an envelope. She held the envelope up for me to see and it had "Edward Cullen" written on the front of it. Bella handed me the envelope then pushed the stroller past me and into my apartment.

"What's with the umbrella?" I questioned as I followed her into the living room.

"It was the only weapon I had available. I was nervous, don't make fun of me."

"Yeah, like an umbrella is going to save you from being attacked." I chuckled.

I sat down next to Bella on the couch and opened the letter. Bella settled in next to me and read the letter with me.

**_Edward,_**

**_I am so very sorry that I never told you this earlier, but I didn't know how. This is your daughter Bree. I know you deserved to know before now and you will never know how truly sorry that I am for not telling you. You deserve to know her and she deserves to know her father. I have tried my hardest but I do not have the means to support her, and I know that you do. You truly are a good man at heart, Edward. I trust you fully with her. I know that she will be taken care of with you. It kills me to leave her, but I have no other choice. Please tell her as she gets older that I love her. Good luck, Edward._**

**_Love, Jessica_**

"Who is Jessica?" Bella asked.

"She used to live where you live now." I answered. "This is not possible."

"Did you have sex with her?"

"Yes, but never unprotected." I said running my hands through my hair in frustration.

"Condoms are not one hundred percent, Edward." Bella said as if I was a complete idiot. "Look there's a birth certificate. Bree Ann Stanley. She is almost a month old."

"Bree" I snorted. "Who the hell names there kid after cheese?"

"Apparently the mother of your child would. I think Bree is a cute name." Bella cooed looking at the baby.

"It's a little bundle of cheese." I laughed. "That is not my baby."

"Yes she is. She's got your bright green eyes." Bella was smiling at the baby in her arms as she talked. "I think she's adorable."

"Well if it really were mine of course it would be adorable."

She snorted at my comment and carefully handed the baby towards me. "Want to meet your daddy?"

I got a weird fluttering feeling in my stomach watching Bella hand me a baby and call me daddy.

"Whoa, what are you doing?' I asked backing away.

"Here, hold her."

"No. You are doing a good job. You keep it." I said waving her off.

"First off, she's not an it. She is a girl. And second, she is your daughter and it looks like she's here to stay so you need to get use to holding her."

"Ugh, fine I will hold her, but I doubt she is mine."

"Whatever, here." She held the baby out for me to hold.

I went to pick it up under her arms and Bella freaked. "You have to support her head! Hold your arms out." I held my arms out and Bella carefully laid her in my arms. I was holding one hand under her neck and the other hand under her legs. She was so tiny I was afraid I was going to break her.

I was holding her out as from me as possible. Bella of course found something about this funny. I looked at her in question.

"You look like she is going to bite you." She said as she pushed my arms in towards me so that I was holding the baby against my chest.

"Shit, will it bite?" I asked.

"No, you idiot. Babies don't have teeth."

"That's gross. How does it eat?"

"_She_," She growled, "doesn't eat food. Babies drink formula."

Like I know what the fuck formula is. I was looking her over; she really was kind of cute for a tiny person with no teeth. "Aww, look she's got finger nails."

Bella started laughing uncontrollably. "Of course she does. Babies are born with fingernails."

"Why are they born with fingernails but without teeth?"

"Oh, my God, will you get over the teeth? Haven't you ever been around a baby before?"

"Obviously not." I rolled my eyes. "Okay, what do I do with it now?"

"She's going to need somewhere to sleep." Bella said.

I looked around the apartment and said, "Well I don't have baby beds around here."

"We will have to make her a bed for tonight." Bella took the baby from me and put her back in the stroller. "I have my baby blanket from when I was little, I will go get it. Make her a bed while I'm gone."

Bella ran out the door and I looked around the apartment. How the hell am I suppose to make a bed? Do I look like a damn carpenter? Finally my eyes landed on the perfect thing. "That will work." I announced to no one.

Bella came back in carrying a pink blanket. Her eyes bugged out as she saw me stuffing a pillow into my piano bench.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked.

"Making a bed like you told me to." I answered.

"You can't stick her in a piano bench." She came over and pulled the pillow back out then closed the bench. "Geeze, why don't you just stuff her in a drawer?"

"That's a good…" Bella put up her hand to stop me from talking any more. I shut my mouth.

Bella picked up the baby and headed for my bedroom. "Come on."

I watched from the doorway as Bella laid the baby down in the middle of my bed and surrounded it with pillows. "There that will work until we can get her a crib."

"Or back to her parents." I mumbled. "I am going to take her to my father tomorrow and he will be able to tell me if it is mine."

"Was he there when you got her mother pregnant?" She giggled.

"No you perv. He's a doctor he will be able to do a DNA test." I explained. "Now, where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Lay right there next to her."

I laid down very carefully on the edge of the bed. "What if I squish her?"

"I doubt you will sleep long enough to squish her." She laughed. I didn't fully understand what she meant. "Well, I'm going to head back home."

"Wait, no." I yelled as I jumped off the bed to stop her. "You can't leave me here alone. I don't know what to do with it."

"Alright, I will make you a deal." She said. "I will stay and help you tonight if you stop calling her an it."

"Agreed."

Bella lay next to Bree on the other side of the bed that I was on. I turned the lights off and carefully lay back down. As soon as I closed my eyes Bree started crying.

Now I understand what Bella meant. It is going to be a long night.

**A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter. We will find out more about Jessica and why she left the baby as the story goes on. The part about the finger nails I put in because when I had my first daughter my brother was amazed that she had fingernails. We all laughed at him…A LOT. Now he has 4 of his own kids…heaven help them, hahaha. Leave reviews. I read and love them all!**


	3. Chapter 3: After a long night

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Hello again everyone. I have to start by saying thank you everyone for the awesome reviews. I got a lot more then I thought I would get. They all made me smile! **

**I was asked some questions…And I have some answers.**

**Q. How often will the story be updated?**

**A. I will update at least once a week. Maybe sooner, if I get to writing!**

**Q. Is the baby Edward's?**

**A. I can't tell you that! You have to read to find out. Ha-Ha**

**Q. When is the next chapter going to be up?**

**A. Right now! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3: After a long night**

**BPOV**

I woke in the morning to Bree screaming in my ear. This had been the longest night of my life. I was tempted to just go home and sleep but I couldn't do that. Edward had absolutely no idea what to do with a baby, and I couldn't just leave them.

I looked at the clock and it was only five in the morning. I groaned and sat up bringing Bree with me.

"It's to damn early." Edward whined.

"Welcome to fatherhood." I laughed.

"What happened to the saying 'all babies do is eat, sleep, and poop'? This baby doesn't sleep!"

I couldn't help but laugh at him. He sounded so frustrated, and that pleased me. "She is only three weeks old. Give her time; she will get a schedule down." I said.

"Ugh…I don't want to give her time. I just want to sleep."

I laughed and threw a pillow at his head. "Get up." I ordered.

I walked out to the living room and sat down on the couch after grabbing the baby bag. I pulled out everything I needed to change her diaper and started removing her clothes.

"What the hell?" I said out load when I got down to Bree's diaper. "Edward? Come here."

"Yeah?" He said as he strolled into the living room.

"Did you change Bree's diaper?" I asked.

"Yes. She woke up once and you didn't. Lucky" He mumbled the last part.

"Well, you put the diaper on backwards." I said trying desperately not to laugh.

"Really?" He asked while looking at the diaper. "I thought the picture was supposed to go in the back. Like those weird pants girls wear with the words across the butt."

"Nope. I showed you how to do this. The tabs go in the front." I turned Bree towards him on the couch and said, "Here you change her and I will go make her a bottle."

I left Edward to try and figure out the diaper situation. I walked into the kitchen and got the bottle ready on the counter. I picked up the can of formula and it was empty.

"Edward!" I yelled. "What happened to all the formula?"

"It's in the refrigerator." He yelled back.

I opened the refrigerator and I could not find any formula. I didn't understand why he would take it out of the can. And what the hell would he have put it in?

"Edward, I cant find it." I yelled.

Edward came into the kitchen, holding Bree as if she was about to shatter and nodded into the refrigerator, "Right there." He said.

I looked again and what he was referring to, I thought was a gallon of milk. I pulled it out and smelled it. It was definitely not milk. "You made this?"

"Yes, I did." He smiled very proud of himself.

"You made the whole can at one time?" I asked.

"I figured it would be easier to make it all at once then to have to make some every time she's hungry." At least his logic was in the right place.

"Edward, she only drinks a couple ounces at a time. Most of this will be no good before you can use it."

"Oops. I didn't know."

"It's alright. We will have to get some more." I finished making her bottle and heating it up then looked to Bree who was being cradled against Edward's chest. They looked so cute together. Then I couldn't help myself and started laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" Edward asked confused.

"Her diaper is still backwards." I answered once I caught my breath.

"You said the tabs go in the front." He said getting irritated.

"Yes, they stick on the front. Not start in the front."

"Ugh! This is so irritating. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And stop laughing at me!"

"I'm sorry." I said trying to control my laughter.

We went back into the living room and I handed Edward the bottle and let him feed Bree while I watched from the couch. "So what are you going to do today?" I asked.

"_WE_, are going to see my father so that I can disprove my hand in the creation of this tiny sound machine. Then I am going to go find her parents then sleep for about twelve hours."

"Good God, you are such a man. It was one night; you will live on a little sleep." I said rolling my eyes. "And why do I have to go with you?"

He looked at me as if I had grown a second head right before his eyes. "Look at how much I am messing up in my own house, with you here. Do you really think it is a good idea for me to go outside with her alone?"

"That's true. You would probably lose her within minutes. Or give her to a stranger so you could follow a girl." I laughed.

"Very funny." He sighed. "So what do we have to do before we can leave?"

"After you burp her we can give her a bath and then go."

I watched as he tried to put her on his shoulder to burp her. He was patting her back softly. "You should probably put…too late."

"Holy shit, she just threw up all over me." He all but yelled. "Oh my god it smells. Stop laughing and help me!"

I tried my best to stop laughing but every time he gagged, my laughter started all over. "I was going to tell you to put a burp rag over your shoulder. And wearing a shirt might help too."

I took Bree and cleaned her off and placed her in her stroller where she looked around contently. I grabbed a towel and wiped Edward's chest and back off where Bree had spit up. Hot damn he had a nice chest. I could have let him wipe his own chest off, but I couldn't help myself.

Edward went to take a shower while I played with Bree on the couch. She really is a beautiful baby. Especially when she isn't crying, but I think that applies to pretty much all babies.

Edward came out of the bathroom all clean and fully dressed in new clothes. I wasn't against him walking around half-naked. However, I would keep that information to myself.

"You can give her a bath now." He said.

"Uh, no. _You_ can give her a bath now." I said handing Bree over to him.

"I cant give her a bath. I don't know how." He whined.

"I will help you." I said leading him into the bathroom.

I put a little bit of water in the tub, set Bree down on the floor on a towel, and started getting her ready for the bath.

"Umm…shouldn't you keep her diaper on?" Edward asked.

"No. How are you going to bathe her while she is wearing a diaper?"

"Well, I'm a guy and she's a girl…isn't it kind of…creepy for me to wash her?" he asked nervously.

I laughed at him yet again. "First of all, it's not creepy, she needs a bath. And second, you're her father."

"I'm not." He mumbled.

"Alright, I will do it this time then we can get her a tub later then you will be doing it." I explained then showed Edward how to wash her body and her hair. She had very little bronze hair, just like Edward's color.

"How is it your so good with a baby?" Edward asked as I finished up Bree's bath and wrapped her in a towel.

"Years of babysitting." I said. "Plus I'm the godmother to Jake's son. I have been helping with him since he was born."

"Jake as in your gay friend Jake?" He asked with his eye's bugging out of his head.

"Yes."

"He has a kid?"

"Yes.

"With a women?"

"No, with a horse. Of course with a woman." I snorted. "And he's not gay. I guess you could call him bisexual. His taste changes so often I don't even think he knows what he wants."

"What does the mother of his kid think of his sexuality?"

I laughed. "Leah and Jake dated for over five years before they had their son, Embry."

"Embry? That is a weird name."

"That's Jake and Leah." I laughed. "They both come up with the weirdest things. Leah love's Jake no matter what he is. There close friends and always will be. She was upset with him coming out of the closet, so to speak. But, she is just happy that he is happy. They live next-door to each other. And Jake even set Leah up with Sam who is now her husband."

"Interesting." Edward said.

I handed Bree over to Edward after showing him again how to put on a diaper, and dressed her. We were sitting on the couch when the door was opened.

"Hey, have you seen Bella? We went there for breakfast but…she…wasn't there." Emmett said, and then started slowing down his speech after he saw the three of us on the couch.

"How the hell long was I asleep?" Emmett asked Rose.

"Not long enough for them to have a baby." She laughed.

"Aww, whose baby? She is so cute!" Alice said bouncing in front of the couch.

"Where did the kid come from?" Jasper asked.

"Well, Jasper, when a man and a women fall in love they have…" I started.

"I know where babies come from; I meant where did this one in particular come from?" Jasper sighed at my humor.

"She was left in a stroller at my door." Edward said as he carefully handed the baby over to Alice who was waiting impatiently for her.

"Someone just left her like a UPS package?" Jasper asked.

"Yes with a note…from Jessica."

"Jessica had a kid?" Emmett asked. "See, I told you she was getting fat."

"Tell them the rest." I said while nudging Edward with my elbow.

Edward sighed and said, "In the letter she said it's my kid."

Everyone just stared at him.

"I'm an uncle?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"Yes." I said at the same time as Edward said 'no'.

"Did you know about this?" Jasper asked. "Because if you knew about this and didn't tell mom, she is going to kill you."

"No, I had no idea." Edward defended himself.

Everyone sat around passing around the baby and commenting, to Edward's dismay, how much she looked like Edward. I watched as Emmett got up and headed into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk jug that Edward had put the formula into.

"Umm…Emmett, that's not…" I was cut off mid-sentence by Edward smashing his lips against mine.

"Hey you two, get a room." Emmett yelled from the kitchen.

I was stunned into silence as Edward pulled back and whispered, "I have had a rough night. I deserve to see this."

We turned to watch Emmett put the milk container to his lips and start drinking. He took about two huge gulps then spit milk everywhere. "Dude, I think there is something wrong with your milk."

"That's not milk, its formula." Edward laughed.

"You couldn't warn me before hand, asshole?" he gagged. "It tastes like rotten shit."

"Where would the fun be in that?" Edward laughed. "Maybe that will teach you to not drink out of my milk carton."

Once I stopped laughing, I told Edward I was going to go home and take a shower. He tried saying I could take a shower there but I reminded him all my clothes where at home. I assured him he would fine while I was gone. It wasn't as if he was alone anymore.

**EPOV**

I was a little nervous about Bella leaving, even though it was just long enough for her to take a shower. I hope that she will be back before everyone else leaves. I let Alice and Rosalie keep the baby while Bella was gone. I felt uncomfortable holding her because I had no idea what I was doing. Plus she was so tiny; I didn't want to hurt her.

"So, what are you going to do?" Jasper asked, taking me out of my internal rambling.

"I am going to go see Carlisle today and have him do a DNA test. Then try and track down Jessica and find out what the hell is going on."

"What are you going to do if she is yours?" Emmett asked.

"I have no idea." I sighed. "I am a little out of my element here." I was completely clueless when it came to children. I didn't even want to tell them I had put a diaper on backwards not once but twice. Emmett and Jasper would have a field day with that one.

Bella came back in freshly washed and changed. "Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yes, are you?"

"No. But let's go." I sighed getting up from the couch.

"Well, we would gladly come with you, but that's not a conversation we want to be involved in. Have fun." Emmett laughed as they all left the apartment.

"Were going to have to walk because we don't have a car seat. Are we going far?" Bella asked.

"No. Were going to the hospital. It is about a twenty minute walk from here." I answered. That was one good thing about living in Seattle. If it was nice outside, you could walk just about, wherever you wanted to go.

We walked through town, it was surprisingly nice outside. It felt weird to be walking through town pushing a baby, but with Bella by my side something just felt, right.

I took a deep breath as we walked into the hospital and made our way to Carlisle's office. The door was open a crack and I could see he was in there alone. I knocked as I opened the door wider.

"Edward." Carlisle greeted happily. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hello, dad. It is good to see you. I need a favor from you." I said. "Oh dad this is Bella and Bree. Bella, this is my father, Carlisle."

"It is nice to meet you, Bella." Carlisle said. "You daughter is adorable." He smiled at the baby. "So what is this favor?"

Bella nudged me with her arm. "Umm…that's not her daughter. And Bree is the favor."

Carlisle looked at me puzzled. I sat down in one of the chairs on the side of his desk and explained the whole thing of Bree being left on my doorstep, and the note that was left with her. I explained how I wanted a DNA test done before I tried looking for Jessica.

"Edward, you mother is going to kill you." Carlisle sighed. "Not about being a grandmother, no, she is going to be ecstatic about that. She is going to kill you that she wasn't there during the pregnancy."

"Yeah, I wasn't there either." I said.

"Did you know this girl was pregnant?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Emmett apparently noticed her getting heavier." Bella said.

"Leave it to Emmett to notice a women's changing body." Carlisle chuckled while he pulled tubes out of a box on his shelf. "Alright I am going to take swabs from both of your mouths. Then I will put a rush on this and get the results back before the end of the day."

"Thank you, dad." I said while he took a swab from my mouth.

Carlisle smiled then leaned down to Bree and took a swab from her mouth. "Are you sure you even need this done, Edward? She looks just like you."

I rolled my eyes at that. Why does everyone keep saying that?

"I will take these down to the lap right now myself and I will tell them it is a priority. Come to dinner tonight and I will tell you the results. Tell your brothers to come too, which will please your mother."

"Can't you just call me with the results?" I asked. I knew I didn't want to face my mother.

"Oh, no!" Carlisle laughed. "You are going to be in enough trouble with your mother. I am not going be on her bad side if she finds out she was the last to know. So come to dinner. Bella you are invited too."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen. We will be there." Bella smiled at him.

"Good. And it's just Carlisle. See you tonight Edward. I will see you later; your grandmother is going to be so excited to meet you." He cooed to Bree.

We walked out of the hospital and Bella announced that we needed to go shopping.

"For what?" I asked.

"Bree has cute clothes but she needs something special to meet her grandmother in." I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm.

We walked until we found a baby store. Bella was picking out everything she touched. I said Bree didn't need that much stuff but Bella pulled the girl card and said Bree needed lots of clothes. She picked a frilly white dress for her to wear tonight to meet my mother. I grabbed a car seat so we could drive with her instead of walking, and I got more diapers.

"Dinner tonight at mom and dad's house." I said as we passed Emmett and Jasper in the hallway of the apartment building. "Dad said you have to be there."

"We will be there." Emmett said. "I can't wait to see mom chew your ass out." They both laughed as they went into there apartment.

Bella was excited as she got to dress Bree up in a frilly dress. What is with girls and dressing babies up like there their lost Barbie dolls? Whatever the reason, Bella was having fun. She even bought tiny dress shoes to go with the dress.

Bella left me alone with Bree while she went to her apartment to get dressed. I sat on the couch looking at Bree who was looking at me from her car seat.

"You ready for this?" I asked her. She yawned.

"Yeah me neither. My mom is going to love you no matter what. However, she's not going to be too happy with me. Not about you though. But because she's one of those people that likes to be there for the whole pregnancy and birth. I kind of wish I had been there too."

I put my hand near her and she grabbed my finger. I couldn't help but smile at her. "You really are cute." I said.

I turned around to see Bella standing by the door with a huge smile on her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your father daughter moment."

"It's alright." I said while picking up Bree's car seat. "You ready to go?" Bella nodded and we headed outside. I had to have Bella show me how to buckle the car seat into the car. I seriously need a training video on everything baby related.

We drove across town and met Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice in my parents' driveway. I helped Bella out of the car then pulled Bree out of the car in her car seat.

"You ready for the results?" Jasper asked.

I blew out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding and nodded. We all turned to walk up the pathway to the porch but before we could take a step, the door flew open.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you bring me my grandbaby right now!" My mother yelled.

**A/N: When I started this chapter, I had every intention of revealing the results on the DNA test. But then I thought, nah, let's keep them on the edge of there seats. I know, I hate me too. Ha-ha.**

**Leave a review! I crave them like I crave air! **


	4. Chapter 4: Esme's rant

**I am so sorry this chapter has taken so long for me to update. I could give you my excuses but that's boring. I will just let you get to reading. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter 4: Esme's rant**

**Previously**

_I blew out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding and nodded. We all turned to walk up the pathway to the porch but before we could take a step, the door flew open._

"_Edward Anthony Cullen, you bring me my grandbaby right now!" My mother yelled._

**EPOV**

"Relax mom, we are coming." I said as she stood on the porch practically bouncing.

"You are not coming fast enough." She exclaimed.

"It's nice to see you too, mom." I kissed her cheek once we made it up onto the porch.

"I'm sorry Edward; I'm just excited to see my grandchild." Esme said. "Oh…look at her!" Esme took the car seat holding Bree and walked into the house leaving us all on the porch.

"Oh, it's good to see you too Emmett." Emmett mumbled. "Yes mom, we would love to come in." Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and led her into the house. We all followed behind giggling at Emmett.

We walked into the living room to find Esme and Carlisle sitting on the couch admiring Bree, who Esme was holding.

"So what did you find out?" I asked Carlisle not wanting to wait any longer on the DNA results.

Carlisle sat up straighter as I sat on the couch across from him. "Well, I had them run the tests three times just to make sure it was correct. Even though I don't think even one was necessary." He mumbled the last part to himself.

"And?" I said irritated.

"Congratulations Edward, you are a father." He said sounding proud. Esme started crying, while everyone else said 'told you so'. Bella even looked smug. Know it alls.

"I took the liberty of looking Bree up in our hospital data base." Carlisle said. "She was born there. Came in to the ER once when she was a week old for a cough, but in the doctor's notes it was just a paranoid first time parent." I snorted at that. Jessica was paranoid about a cough, but not about leaving her on a doorstep alone. Such great parenting.

"Are you mad about this?" I asked Esme confused to why she was crying.

"I am not mad about her." She said looking down at the baby in her arms. "Look at her, who could be mad? I am mad I didn't know about her before this. How did you not know Edward? The mother lived next door to you for Christ sakes." She was getting angry.

"I had no idea. Are you seriously mad at me?" I asked frantically as I ran my hands threw my hair in frustration. "You know damn well, that had I known you would have been the first person I would have told."

"I know. I'm just upset that I have my first grandchild and I wasn't there." Esme said handing the baby over to Carlisle.

"I wish I could have been there too." I responded quietly looking down at my hands.

Esme grabbed my hand and pulled me up and embraced me in a hug and whispered, "I know you do, sweetie."

I quickly swallowed down the lump that was forming in my throat and willed the tears away that were threatening to run down my face. I looked at Bree couldn't help but think…I'm a father. I was proud, and happy, and nervous as hell. And completely and utterly pissed off at Jessica.

"It really is cute." I said smiling at Bree. "Ow!" I yelled as Esme smacked her hand across the back of my head.

"She is not an IT." Esme said glairing at me.

"I have been telling him that." Bella mumbled from the couch. I glanced at Bella and gave her a look to say, 'trader, I thought you were on my side'.

"Goodness, I have been so rude. I am Esme." She said to the girls who have been watching our exchange quietly.

"Don't even worry about it." Bella said. "We know you have much bigger things going on right now. I'm Bella, and this is Alice and Rosalie."

"It is nice to meet you ladies." Carlisle said. "And nice to see you again, Bella." Bella smiled at Carlisle.

"Now, where is this girl that just left her daughter?" Esme asked getting upset again.

"I have no idea." I answered honestly.

"What kind of women would not tell the father? And what kind of women would leave her baby on a doorstep and just walk away?" Esme was getting louder and angrier, her arms flailing around for emphasis.

"Again, I have no idea." All of her questions were the same questions I had. Unfortunately I had no answers, and no idea where to begin to look for the answers.

"Well, that girl needs a stern talking to." Esme said causing some giggles from the couch behind me.

"Yeah, like that is going to help, mom." I said.

"Well that's just for starters." Esme said turning to walk into the kitchen. She turned and looked at me and said, "Then a swift ass kicking by yours truly." Carlisle's eyes went wide at her statement. Esme was never one for physical violence.

We all stayed quiet, listening to Esme bang dishes in the kitchen and mumble to herself.

"Some little bitch thinks she can have a baby with my son and not tell him? I don't think so. And not tell me I have a grandchild? She must be out of her fucking mind. What kind of a person leaves her baby, never to be seen again? A person who doesn't want to meet me, that's who." We all stared towards the kitchen. I think we were all thinking the same thing. Esme has just lost her mind.

Suddenly the door to the kitchen flew open to reveal a very pissed off looking Esme. "That girl better hope she doesn't come back. Because she is going to regret meeting me! I am very handy with a rolling pin." Then the door closed and Esme was back in the kitchen, mumbling away.

"Am I alone in the mindset that mom is really scary right now?" Emmett asked. Everyone shook there heads slowly agreeing with him. I had never heard Esme use a single swear word and now she's cursing like, well Emmett, and threatening physical violence.

"I never thought I would see the day when Esme would threaten someone." Carlisle chuckled. Carlisle smiled down at Bree who was still in his arms and said, "I think you just brought out a protective side of your grandmother none of us have seen before."

Carlisle stood up and handed Bree to me. "I am going to go calm your mother down before she goes on a rampage. I don't want to see her land in jail for wielding a rolling pin. " He turned and walked into the kitchen where Esme was still angrily mumbling to herself.

"She's not always that scary." I said to Bella.

Bella waved it off and said, "I don't blame her one bit for going off. My parents would do the same thing."

"Yeah, except your dad carries a gun." Rose laughed.

"True." Bella said turning back to me. "So it would have been much worse."

"Mom is bad-ass. That's all I can say." Emmett said.

We sat in the living room for a while talking casually until Esme came back into the room looking embarrassed. "I apologize about my behavior. It was very unlike me. I am embarrassed I acted that way in front you girls. What a first impression." She laughed nervously while looking at her hands.

"Don't be embarrassed, Esme." Bella spoke up. "It just showed how passionate you are about your family and that's honorable."

"Thank you, Bella." Esme smiled warmly at her. "Dinner is ready."

We all stood and followed Esme into the kitchen. I sat Bree in her car seat where she was now sleeping peacefully. We sat around the table Esme had set up with her famous lasagna and side salad. Everything looked and smelled great. And I was starving. Until I smelled the food I hadn't realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. Neither had Bella.

Conversations started up around the table after everyone had there food.

"So, Bella," Esme began, "are you the neighbor that helped Edward with Bree last night?"

"Yes." Bella answered. "I am the one that found her crying in the hallway."

"I am very glad you were there. Lord only knows what Edward would have done with her."

"I have a pretty good idea." Bella laughed. "He tried to put her in his piano bench to sleep." Esme looked at me with an angry expression.

"Edward Anthony! You were going to make your daughter sleep in a bench?"

"I don't know anything about babies." I confessed.

"But a bench?" She sighed.

"I stopped him before he could put her in there." Bella laughed. Then she proceeded to tell everyone about the rest of the mistakes I had made. I was glad everyone was having such a good time at my expense. I tuned them all out and ate my food in the quiet I created.

I stopped mid-bite and noticed everyone was looking at me. I lowered my fork and looked around at the people at the table. "What?" I asked.

"Your daughter is beckoning you." Jasper answered.

I looked down and heard for the first time, that Bree was in fact screaming from her car seat that was on the floor next to my chair. I picked her up carefully and immediately smelled what the problem was. "Bella?" I said trying to hand her the baby.

"Oh, no you don't." Bella laughed. "Your baby, you change her."

I groaned as I stood from the table and took in the amused faces that were watching me head for the living room. I set Bree on the floor next to her diaper bag and started to change her. I immediately gagged as I opened her diaper. How can one tiny baby girl smell so badly? She could easily put Emmett to shame.

**BPOV**

We all sat at the table laughing quietly as we listened to Edward gagging in the living room.

"What the hell did you eat?" We heard Edward say followed by another gag.

"You better not get sick on my carpet!" Esme yelled then laughed.

"Fuck! I got shit on my hand!" He yelled and the whole table erupted in laughter.

"I will go help him." I said as I stood from the table.

I walked into the living room to find Edward sitting on the floor with his shirt covering his face from the smell and his hand in the air as far from his face as he could get it. I couldn't help but laugh. He glared at me which only made it even funnier.

"Stop waving you hand around." I helped him clean his hand off then finished changing Bree. After she was smelling fresh again I took Bree back into the kitchen with her bottle and Edward ran to the sink and was scrubbing his hands.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Carlisle asked everyone at the table as Edward sat back down to his plate and thanked me for feeding Bree.

"Jasper, Alice, Rose, and I are all going to that new club opening tonight." Emmett answered. Edward whimpered next to me because he couldn't go.

"Edward, Bella, what about you?" Carlisle asked.

"I have work to catch up on." I answered.

"I just want to sleep. I'm exhausted." Edward said followed by a huge yawn proving his point.

"Welcome to parenthood, Edward." Esme snickered. "And it's only been one night, don't complain just yet. You have a lot ahead of you."

"Wait until teething starts." Carlisle said. "You were miserable when you were teething. I hope you are kept up at night like we did. That is what parents wish for the most. That there children's children will act just like them."

Esme giggled and nodded her head in agreement. I couldn't stop the laughter at the comment about teething. "They don't have teeth when there born?" I mumbled.

Edward glared at me and quietly hissed for me to be quiet.

The rest of dinner we talked casually learning about Esme and Carlisle and them learning about us. Edward seemed happy to have the topic off of him. Bree fell asleep after eating and slept until we were getting ready to leave.

"I want to see my granddaughter a lot." Esme stated while kissing Bree's head.

"You know you will see her all the time." Edward said giving his mother a hug good-bye. "I mean after all, I do need a babysitter."

Edward laughed at his joke while Esme got all excited about the idea. I could tell already she was going to be a great grandmother. Bree was going to be spoiled by Esme and Carlisle.

The ride home was quiet because Bree had fallen back to sleep. When we got back to the apartment Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice all went into there apartments to get ready to leave for the club opening they were going to. I stopped in the hallway to talk to Edward before I went home.

"Your parents seem very nice." I said genuinely with a smile on my face. "I mean after Esme's scary moment." I laughed and Edward joined me.

"That was something new for all of us. But, they really seemed to like you. My mom kept telling me how grateful she was towards you for you helping me." Edward smiled. "I am grateful also." He added.

"It was my pleasure." I said then turned towards my door.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked frantically.

"Home?" I said which sounded more like a question. "I wasn't lying when I said I had work to catch up on."

"Aren't you a writer?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"Well then just bring it with you." He said hopeful. "You can't leave me alone. I still have no idea what I'm doing."

"You will be fine." I said turning back towards my door. I was pretty confident that he would be fine alone with her as long as he didn't put her in the piano bench.

"Your right, I will be fine. And Bree will be fine in her bench bed." He said reading my damn mind.

"Eeedwarrrrd." I whined slowly. "She can't sleep in there."

"I told you I don't know what I'm doing." He shrugged.

"Fine. I will get my laptop and be over in a few minutes." I sighed. He walked away with a smug 'I win' look on his face. Damn him.

I walked in the apartment and right into my bedroom, stripping down and throwing on my comfy pajamas of old sweats and an over sized t-shirt. Edward might think he was getting what he wanted but I certainly wasn't going to dress sexy for him.

I threw my hair up in a messy ponytail, threw on my glasses, and grabbed my laptop case and notebook off of my desk and headed out the door after telling Rose and Alice goodbye.

I walked to Edward's door and walked right in without even knocking. I walked into the living room and found him rocking Bree on the couch and whispering to her. I overheard him telling her that he wanted to write a song for her before he turned and noticed me coming into the room.

"I see the librarian is back." Edward chuckled.

"Yeah, well I have to see to write." I said sticking my tongue out at him. Childish, I know.

"I have some ideas you can use that tongue for." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes at him and sat in the love seat across from him. I put all my stuff on the seat next to me and folded my legs under me then pulled my laptop onto my lap and started it up. I watched Edward walk into his bedroom with Bree while I waited for my laptop to start up.

Once it started up I opened up the chapter I had been working on and was reading through it. I jumped and slammed the lid down on my computer when I heard and felt Edward breathing against my neck behind me.

"What the hell was that you where reading? I saw the description of a cock." He raised his eyebrows.

"It was nothing. Could you not stand behind me? That's really creepy." I said waving him away with my hand. "And where is Bree?"

"On my bed. Surrounded with pillows." He answered.

"And I had to be here for you to do that?" I asked with one eyebrow arched.

He laughed and walked around the room and flopped down on the couch across from me. "Is that something you wrote?" He questioned tilting his head toward my laptop. I nodded.

"You write porn?" He asked excited.

"No, I do not write porn. I write romance novels."

"That didn't look like romance. That looked like straight porn." He laughed.

"It's called erotic romance novels. Sort of like porn with a plot. There's a difference." I defended my work.

"Uh huh." He said with a crooked smile. "Do you need inspiration for that story? Or a test dummy? I don't mind being used for research."

I was about to throw something at him when there was a sudden knock at the door. Edward flew off the couch and ran before I could release the notebook I was threatening him with.

I heard his laughter stop when he opened the door.

"Hi, Eddie. I have missed you." I heard a high pitched female voice say.

***/*/*/*/***

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun. I hate reading cliffhangers. But I love writing them. HaHa. I'm sorry. I will update this story quickly if you ask nicely. Lol. Leave a review, let me know what you thought of Esme's rant, the chapter in general, who you think is at the door, or anything else you want to say in your review.**


	5. Chapter 5: Late night visitor

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except tickets to go see all three Twilight movies tonight!**

**I have to say a huge thank you for all the reviews! They all made me laugh and smile! Keep them coming!**

**In honor of Eclipse starting tonight I decided to update. So here is what you do. Read this chapter, leave a review, then go see Eclipse. In that order. Lol. This chapter is all Edward's point of view.**

**Chapter 5: Late night visitor **

**EPOV**

I was enjoying my time alone with Bella, watching her write and thinking about what she was writing about. Basically porn. She can spin it how ever she wants to, but I know porn…and that was porn.

I was laughing as I offered myself to Bella for research for the book she was writing. Before I got to into offering my services someone knocked on the door. Damn my luck. I was finally onto a topic I enjoyed. Me, porn, Bella, what could be better? Nothing, that's what.

I was hoping it was just Emmett or Jasper or someone as equally easy to get rid of. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. I froze when I opened the door.

"Hi, Eddie. I have missed you." Kate said breathlessly. Trying to sound sexy but failing miserably. Damn, I had forgotten all about Kate in the past couple days.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" She laughed and walked past me into the apartment without waiting for the invitation. An invitation I very much didn't want to give her.

I sighed as I closed the door and followed behind Kate into the living room. Kate had stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Bella sitting in there. "Oh, I didn't know you had company."

"I'm not company." Bella laughed. I wasn't sure if she was laughing in general, or at my obvious discomfort. Could be both. "I'm just Edward's neighbor."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you. I'm Kate." Kate visibly relaxed with the knowledge that Bella was not a date or here for sex. She could have been, but stupid Kate had to screw that up. That's probably just wishful thinking on my part.

"What are you doing here, Kate?" I ask before she could grill Bella with why she's here and not in her own apartment.

"I thought we could go to that club opening tonight." She beamed. "I have two tickets and I figured you might be free." She was uneasily eyeing Bella who had turned back to her work on her computer.

"I would." I lied. "But, I cant tonight."

Kate stepped closer to me and ran her fingernails down my chest. "Why not?" She asked. "It will be fun. And I will make it worth your wile." She whispered the last part but I saw Bella's lips twist up at the corners as she tried to keep from laughing. I internally rolled my eyes at Kate. This girl has no shame.

I opened my mouth to answer Kate when I was suddenly cut off by the reason I couldn't go crying from the bedroom.

"I will get her." Bella said as she jumped up from her seat and ran to the bedroom. I was actually thankful of the distraction of a screaming baby to get me away from Kate for a minute. But Bella, damn her, took it away from me.

"What the hell is that?" Kate asked scrunching her face up is in disgust. "Is somebody stepping on a cat?"

I furrowed my brow as I looked at Kate, trying to figure out if that was an attempt at humor. If it was, she failed miserably.

I sunk down to the couch as Bella re-entered the room carrying Bree. Bree had stopped crying, obviously content with the attention she was getting from Bella.

"Oh, Bella, your daughter is adorable." Kate gushed. _She's no longer an injured cat?_ I thought towards Kate.

"Oh…um, she's not my daughter." Bella answered awkwardly as she handed Bree to me then sat back down where she had been sitting.

"This is actually the reason why I can't go out." I said.

"Oh!" Kate said excitedly like she had figured everything out. "You're babysitting and Bella is helping you. Since I highly doubt you're a baby person." She giggled.

Oh, this girl has such high hopes. Sorry I have to squash that.

"Well, Bella is here helping me, yes. But, I'm not babysitting. This is my daughter."

Kate's face suddenly paled. "I didn't know you had a daughter." She said as she sat down next me on the couch, a little closer then I would have liked.

"Me neither." I mumbled. "I have only known for a couple days." I offered not wanting to tell her the whole story. Hell, I didn't even want to tell her that much.

"Well I guess that explains why you haven't called me in a few days." She gushed and moved closer on the couch.

"Yeah." I said lamely. Actually that's not why at all. I have never once called her. She has always called me and asked me out. I just agreed to prove to Bella that I could be with one person and for more then one night. That was about a dumb idea. Now I can't get rid of her.

"Can I hold her?" She asked.

"Sure." I answered hesitantly and handed her over carefully. Bella was now watching fully alert.

"She looks just like you. What's her name?"

"Bree." She snorted. She actually fucking snorted. Well at least it's not something boring like Kate. I know I sound like a hypocrite because I had the same reaction, but damn it, now that I know she's my daughter you don't mess with her!

"I think it's a cute name." Bella said apparently seeing my anger rising.

"I agree." Kate said as if she hadn't snorted at her name. Obviously she didn't think we heard. Bella and I both raised an eyebrow at her, but she didn't see it. "How old is she?"

"Three weeks." I answered.

"Wow. Really? Now I feel dumb. I thought she was like a year old."

"A year?" I asked astound. "Haven't you ever seen a baby before?"

"I'm not a real kid friendly person." Kate whispered to me trying so Bella wouldn't hear. _Yeah, now I feel so much better about you holding my kid._

"Well, since you have a babysitter do you want to go out?"

"Bella is not a babysitter. She's doing me a favor and I can't just leave." I answered kind of rudely. Kate didn't seem to notice. "Plus, I would like to spend some time with Bree."

"Oh, well that's ok. When does she go home? We can go out then."

"It looks like she's here to stay." I said. Kate was holding Bree against her awkwardly trying to balance her with one hand while she rubbed my leg with her free hand. It looked like Bella was about to leap across the room and grab Bree from Kate. I wouldn't object to that. Kate was making me nervous.

"I will watch her if you want to go out and have some fun." Bella offered. She smiled huge as I glared at her. I was making it pretty obvious that I didn't want to go anywhere with Kate. And Bella was making it obvious that she was enjoying my discomfort with this situation.

Kate smiled and batted her eyelashes at me, trying to be sexy. Trying, being the key word. She was not succeeding.

"I really just want to spend some time with Bree." I said as I moved farther away from Kate and pulled her hand from my thigh yet again. She scooted closer of course. Now I was trapped against the arm of the couch.

"Oh, well we could…" Kate froze. "That's weird."

"What?" I asked. This girl was freaking me out a little. I wanted to get Bree away from her.

"My back just got warm." She answered.

Bella got up to see what the fuck Kate was talking about as I looked as well. Sure enough, Bree who was on Kate's shoulder had puked down her back.

"Bree spit up down your back." Bella laughed.

"What does that mean?" Kate asked as I took Bree from her.

"She puked." I said as Bella grabbed a rag and wiped Kate's back off.

"Oh." Kate said as she gagged. "Well, I'm going to head home and change and then head to the club. I will call you Edward." Then she practically ran from the apartment.

Bella sat back down and said, "You know you're never going to see her again, right?"

I pretended to wipe a tear from my eye and said, "I think I will live. Good job Bree. We make a good team. I get them and when I'm tired of them you get rid of them." Bella rolled her eyes.

"What the hell were you seeing her for anyways? She doesn't seem all there." Bella laughed.

"To impress you." I said.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me said, "It was suppose to impress me that you kept banging her into my bedroom wall?" Shit. I had forgotten about the wall situation.

"Is being drunk an excuse?"

"No."

"Then I plead the fifth." I said. She laughed. "So, let's get back to this book your writing." I wiggled my eyebrows.

She closed her computer and said, "I can't write here."

"Well if it's inspiration you need it's inspiration I can give." I said suggestively. She shook her head and ignored my comment.

The night was just as long as the night before. I was hoping this not sleeping threw the night wouldn't last long. Again with my wishful thinking. Bella and I traded off every two hours when Bree would make her presence known.

Morning came way to damn early. I woke and noticed Bella and Bree were both gone. I lazily walked out to the kitchen and found Bella making breakfast while talking to Bree who was sitting in her car seat.

"Morning." I said groggily.

Bella jumped as she spun to face me. "Oh, you scared me. Good morning, Edward. Breakfast will be done in a few minutes. I just made another pot of coffee."

"Another pot?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I drank the first pot. I have been up for a few hours and I needed some energy. Then I decided I could make some breakfast. And I'm sure everyone will be joining us because it has become a tradition that I feed everyone. But don't worry I'm not using your food since you have none. Did you know you have no food? Seriously, you need to do some shopping. It's a good thing that's what we are doing today." Holy shit she's wired!

"First off. Take a breath." She did which was comical because she made it theatrical. "Now, I wouldn't care if it was my food you were using. And were going shopping?"

"Yeah, Bree needs a bed, clothes, and lots of other stuff." She said. "Making a whole day of it."

"Who's we?" I asked.

"You, me, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie." She said as if it was like the most obvious thing. "Rose and Alice said they wanted to go with us because, frankly they could never pass up a shopping trip. And Emmett said he wanted to get his niece some stuff. And I think Jasper just doesn't want to be away from Alice."

"What about Bree?" I questioned.

"Oh, your mom called earlier. I hope you don't mind I answered your phone." I shook my head to show that I didn't mind. "Well, I told her about our shopping trip and she offered to come watch Bree. And Bree has been fed, bathed, and is wearing a cute outfit for her time with Esme."

"Wow. You have done a lot since you have been awake." I said as I picked Bree up out of her car seat and kissed her on the forehead and told her good morning.

"Aww." Bella cooed. "You're really cute with a baby. You know you could get women that way. Most women can't resist a man with a baby."

"Is it working on you?" I asked raising my eyebrow in question.

She seemed to think about it for a minute. "No. I think I'm immune because of the lack of sleep."

"Then I guess we will just have to work harder, Bree." I laughed and winked at Bella, who blushed, as I walked to answer the door as someone knocked.

"Hello, brother dearest." Emmett said as he walked in the door. "Were here for breakfast. Good morning, Bree. Come see Uncle Emmett." He said as he took her from me. I was worried at first because of his massive size; he could break thinks with just the flick of a finger. But he handled Bree like she was the most delicate thing in the world. Which she is.

Everyone sat down at the kitchen table as Bella loaded it down with food. As soon as Bella sat down and started eating we suddenly heard yelling come from the hallway.

"What the hell was that?" Emmett asked before I could.

"Aaaadrian!" We heard again.

Bella stood up and yelled, "Rooocky!" She walked to the door and threw it open. "I'm over here."

Bella came walking back to the table with Jake following behind her. "What are you doing over here?" He questioned.

"Having breakfast. Want some?" She asked.

"No, I had breakfast with Embry this morning." He answered, and then he saw Bree. "Whoa, who had a kid?"

"Edward." Everyone answered.

"Wow, that's some hell of a medical miracle. Did it hurt as badly as I imagine it would?"

"Ha ha. Very funny." I said.

"I thought it was." Jake mumbled. "Congrats, man. I remember when Embry was this small. They grow up fast. Savor it while you can."

"Who's Embry?" Emmett asked before I could respond to Jake.

"Embry is my son."

"You have a kid?" Jasper asked. Jake nodded.

"With a dude?" Emmett blurted.

Jake, who had just taken a drink of coffee, choked on his drink and it sprayed from his nose. "No, not with a dude. With a women." He said once he could breathe again.

"I'm sorry, man." Emmett said. "I kind of figured maybe you adopted or something."

"Nah, it's alright. He's mine. Made the old fashioned way. Blood, sweat, and balls went into it." Now it was my turn to choke. Jake patted me on the back and laughed.

"Were going shopping today for baby stuff. You want to join us?" Bella asked.

"I would love to. You know I never pass on shopping, but I'm spending the day with Embry." Jake answered.

"Where is he?" Alice asked.

"I tied him to a light pole out front like dog." He laughed hysterically when everyone just stared at him. "You should see your faces. I went for a quick run while Leah gave him a bath. That boy is a messy eater when pancake syrup is involved."

Everyone laughed while Bella joked that Jake is just as messy. Soon after, Jake left with a promise that he would be back again soon. I like Jake. Well, I like him now that I know he's not after Bella.

After breakfast and everyone was dressed and ready to go we waited in my living room for Esme. Bella said that she would be there around eleven, and Esme came knocking fifteen minutes before that, just like I knew she would.

"I'm early." She said as she came through the door. "I was excited to baby-sit."

Esme was all smiles as she collected Bree from me and everyone left the apartment.

"We should be back soon." I said to Esme.

"Take your time, dear."

I took Bree back from Esme and gave Bree a kiss and held her to my chest. "I will be back soon. Diapers are under the coffee table and there is formula on the counter in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything."

"We will be fine. I am sure I will be able to find everything."

"Are you sure?" I asked nervously.

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "Am I sure we will be fine? You should be thankful you are holding that child right now because I would smack you upside the head. I have been a mother for twenty-six years. I know what I am doing." I have definitely angered her.

"And you and your brother were _not_ easy."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I said.

"Come on Edward. They will be fine." Bella said from the doorway.

I kissed Bree again and said, "I will be back."

"You can't come back if you never leave." Esme said as she took Bree from me.

I know I have only known Bree for a few days but I already feel very protective of her and I hate the idea of leaving her for even a few hours. Is it irrational? I don't think so. I love her already, and we have time to make up for. Time that was wrongly ripped from us. Time that Jessica _will_ answer for.

I let Bella drag me from the apartment as I waved to Esme and Bree, feeling helpless about leaving. This better be a fast damn trip.

**A/N: Only two people guessed correctly of who was at the door. I hope it wasn't a let down. Most people thought it was Jessica, but it's too early for her. She will be coming though (I don't know when) then all hell will break loose.**

**I'm sorry this chapter was kind of short, but I wanted to get it posted today. I could go on forever with there shopping trip. So…that will be next time. **

**You know the drill; leave some love in a review, or hate, if that's what you want. Preferably love. More reviews, the quicker the update. Nope, I'm not above bribery.**


	6. Chapter 6: Shopping Trip

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. Read and review!**

**Chapter 6: Shopping trip**

**EPOV**

I walked behind Bella down to the parking lot to meet up with everyone. They were all standing around Emmett's mammoth of a truck. Why it took so many of us to go shopping I had no idea. Six people for one baby seemed a bit much but if it was me alone I would probably buy a few shirts and be done.

"Rosalie and I are going to take the truck and Alice and Jasper are going to ride with you." Emmett explained.

"Why do we need to bring your truck?" I asked perplexed.

Emmett threw his hands up in the air, "I have no idea. Ask the girls."

I raised my eyebrow to girls in question.

"You need a lot of stuff for Bree. We are going to need his truck for the big stuff." Alice explained.

"What big stuff?" I asked.

"Don't you want your bed back?" Bella asked. Having my bed back would be nice, instead of sleeping on the edge, scared to death that I was going to crush Bree in my sleep.

But, how big could a baby's bed be? I didn't question it. I knew arguing with these girls was going to be pointless. I knew nothing about babies and what they needed so I was going to keep quiet and just follow their lead. That's what a smart man does, keep quiet and do what I'm told.

We all pilled into the car and headed into town. I followed behind Emmett's truck because he knew where we were going and I had no idea. Before long we pulled into none other then the damn mall. I avoided the mall at all cost, especially when I had three girls in tow. _This is going to take all damn day_ I thought sarcastically.

Jasper, Emmett, and I walked behind the girls who had linked arms and walked into the mall, discussing what stores they wanted to shop at. There list of stores seemed to me incredibly long. _Yup, going to be a long day._

The first store they walked into was Sears. Nothing like starting expensive. We followed as they walked to the baby department. They had whole bedroom sets set up. The girls were squealing at how cute everything was.

"This is a good crib." Bella said as she leaned against one playing with the blankets that were in it.

"Does she really need a bed this big?" I asked. This thing was massive. It looked like it could fit a few children comfortably.

"You want something that she won't outgrow." Bella said. "Oh, look at this one. It's a sleigh bed."

"A sleigh bed?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, it has no posts that the kid can get stuck on. It has sloped ends like a sleigh. See?" I agreed, but they all looked the same to me. I was reading the tags that were on them to read the safety guide lines. I didn't care if it was a sleigh or whatever else they were called. I was just looking for safety.

"This one is comfortable." I heard Emmett say from behind me.

"Emmett, what the hell are you doing?" I hissed when I turned around to see Emmett curled up in the huge crib.

"I wanted to check to see if it was sturdy. My niece is not sleeping in something that is not safe." Just as he got done talking we heard a loud crack and the bottom of the crib let out and Emmett fell threw falling to the floor.

"See!" Emmett exclaimed. "It wasn't safe. Oh, shit my back hurts."

"Emmett you dip shit! You weigh a lot more then Bree does."

Rosalie helped Emmett out of the demolished crib while Jasper was doubled over in laughter. The crib walls were still standing but the bottom of the wooden frame was in a thousand tiny pieces on the floor.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Bella said grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the store with everyone else in tow. Leave it to Emmett to destroy a crib by actually laying in it.

We walked into the next store and I warned Emmett to behave himself. Hopefully he could keep himself from acting like a child. We walked into the baby department and looked at the cribs again. Bella found another of the sleigh beds that she seemed to like. The safety statistics pleased me. I decided to get that one and Bella was beyond thrilled. It made her happy and it really was cute, so I couldn't say no.

"What else do we need?" I asked as I took a tag for the crib.

"Highchair." She said matter-of-factly. I followed behind her as she walked over to where everyone else was at.

"Hey Bella, look at my baby." Alice called. She stepped aside to reveal Jasper trapped in a highchair. I rolled my eyes at my retarded brother. It was sad that I was the most mature person here. I never thought I would see the day when that would happen.

"Alright Alice, let me out of here." Jasper sighed. I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw the bib that Alice had put on him.

Alice went over to him after taking a picture and tried to press the levers to remove the tray from the chair. She grunted while she pulled on the tray then said, "It's stuck."

"Jesus Christ, Alice get me out of here before someone sees me and throws us out." Jasper hissed.

"Or breaks. This shit has a tendency to do that." Emmett said while rubbing his back.

"Somebody get me out of here. It's pinching my legs."

I tried to remove the tray but Alice was right, it was stuck. "Let's just leave him." I laughed.

"Get me out of here!" Jasper practically screamed. We all started laughing as Jasper stood bent, with the highchair hooked to him. "Emmett, stop laughing and get me out of this thing."

"Alright baby Jasper. Settle down and let me have a look. Emmett wiped the tears from his face and looked to see what the problem was. "Your pants are stuck in it." He assessed.

"Damn it, these are my favorite pants." Jasper said as Emmett ripped his pants from the tray.

"Those were my favorite too." Alice said sadly. "Your ass looks so yummy in them."

"Yuck." I mumbled.

"This is your fault, Alice." Jasper complained as he stood up from the chair once he was free. There was a huge rip in his jeans going from his upper calf down to his knee.

"I didn't hear you complaining while I was hooking you into it." Alice said.

"I was complaining. You just weren't listening to me." Jasper said as he inspected his ruined jeans. "Again."

"Oh, well. What's done is done. Let's go look at baby clothes." Alice said dismissing Jasper's comment.

"You guys go ahead and find a clothes store. Get Jasper and Emmett away from breakables." Bella laughed. "I will help Edward find some furniture and then we will meet up with you."

They all left and I sighed with relief that I could be alone with Bella for a little bit without having to worry about what trouble Jasper and Emmett were getting into.

"Why does Bree need a highchair?" I asked. She can't sit up so I didn't see the point.

"Because she does." Bella said. "Look at this one. The seat tips back for an infant then it grows with them." I didn't really see the point but if it meant I didn't have to go shopping again soon then I would get it now.

I picked out the highchair that went from birth to five years old. Bella helped me pick out a dresser and bedding. She insisted on the pink bedding and as much as I disliked the pink, I caved. I told Bella that a changing table wasn't necessary and that we could come back and get it if I changed my mind. I already had no idea where everything we had already got was going to fit.

After I paid and a sales associate helped me load everything in the back of Emmett's truck we headed back inside to find everybody else. We found them coming out of Baby Gap. Emmett and Jasper's hand were full of bags. I was hoping that wasn't all for Bree.

"Edward!" Alice screeched. "You are going to have the best dressed daughter ever!" Yup, it was all for Bree.

We all walked into the next baby store and I looked threw the clothes on my own. I picked out a couple pairs of overalls and some cute sneakers. The girls could buy all the frilly stuff they wanted to but I was going to buy some things that I liked too.

"Oooh, Edward. You need one of these." Bella said as she handed me some weird contraption.

"What the hell is it?" I asked confused.

"It's called a Baby Bjorn. You wear it and carry the baby in it." She explained.

I looked at it while I turned it around in my hands. "The baby sits in this thing?" She nodded. "This thing is weird. What if the baby falls out of it?"

"She can't fall out of it." She laughed as she took it from me and hooked it around me to show me how it works. I looked at it like it was an alien contraption. Weirdest thing ever.

"I'm not wearing this thing in public." I complained. "It looks like a complicated purse. I'm not sticking my daughter in a purse like she's some sort of pampered celebrities weird little taco dog."

"Chihuahua." She laughed. I rolled my eyes at her. "Trust me you will love this thing. Kids get heavy. It's an easy way to carry her. And, girls will think it's sexy."

"Yeah, okay." I said sarcastically. Just to prove her point a tall blonde girl walked by and checked out the alien sling I was wearing and smiled and winked. Bella smiled triumphantly. "Whatever. I'm still not wearing this thing. Get it off of me."

"I'm getting it for you." Bella said as she took it off of me. "You can thank me later." And then she skipped off.

I actually ended up buying a lot more clothes then I thought I would. Everything I saw I could just picture Bree looking adorable in. I wouldn't admit that to anyone because it was very unmanly, but it was true.

As I was setting all the clothes on the counter I spotted a bear in the corner behind the counter. It was about two feet tall and extremely fluffy.

"All set?" The women behind the counter asked.

"I will take that bear too." I answered.

She smiled huge and rang up the bear as well as all the clothes. It was a good thing I had plenty of money, because I spent way more then I have ever planned on.

As we were walking threw the mall to make our way back to the cars we passed a stand in the middle of the corridor that did embroidery. I took the bear over and asked if they could embroider a name to the bear.

"What would you like? And where would you like it?" The older women asked.

"Umm…on the bottom of the foot maybe. I want it say Bree Cullen and her birth date." I answered and gave the women the correct spelling of the name and her birthday.

"It will be about fifteen minutes." The women smiled.

"Isn't her name Bree Stanley?" I heard from behind me.

"Not for long." I said as I turned and smiled at Bella. She smiled in return. Her smile faltered and I knew there was something on her mind. "What?" I asked.

"You know you can't change her name without Jessica, right?" She said looking down at her hands.

"I know. I will find her. It's my new mission." I said cheerfully, even though I had no idea how to find her or where to even start looking. And the fear of what I would find or what her excuse would be made me extremely nervous.

"Well, if you need any help in anyway, I'm here for you." Bella smiled.

"I can think of some things I could use your help with." I said wiggling my eyebrows.

Bella slapped my arm and said, "Don't be a pig."

"Hey, you offered." I laughed.

"I meant with Bree, or looking for Jessica." She laughed and then walked off the catch up with Alice and Rosalie.

I walked around the sports store with Jasper and Emmett while I waited for the bear to get done. Emmett insisted that Bree needed some sports jerseys. He bought her one for all of his favorite teams. Jasper bought her a couple tiny baseball caps and said Bree was going to be our good luck charm during games. I'm sure Esme is just going to love the sports gear. Sense the sarcastic tone there. But the tiny outfits were too cute to tell them no.

After I went and picked up the teddy bear, we found the girls, who of course had bought more stuff, and we headed out to load the car and truck and head for home.

We each grabbed a couple bags and headed for my apartment. We decided we would unload the bigger objects after I made room for them. I walked into my apartment first and stopped in my tracks taking in the mess that was my apartment.

"What the fuck?" I asked to no one in particular.

Then I noticed Bree was lying on the living room floor with a little boy next to her shaking a rattle above her head.

"Who are you?" The little boy asked moving closer to Bree in a protective way.

"I'm Edward. Who the hell are you?" I asked.

"Edward Anthony!" Esme yelled as she came into the room. "You don't use that language to a child."

"Alright. I'm sorry." I said as calmly as possible. "Who the hell is he? And what the hell happened to my house?"

"He can still hear you." She hissed. "This is Embry, Jacob's son."

"How do you know Jacob?" Bella questioned as she walked in the door. Embry jumped up and ran to her as soon as he heard her.

"Jacob came looking to see you had left yet and I recruited his help." Esme smiled.

Jacob came walking from my music room carrying boxes with another huge guy behind him also carrying boxes.

"How many of you did it take to make this mess?" I asked looking around the storage room that use to be my living room. My piano was pushed against the window, my drum set was in the middle of the room, the furniture was all pushed around, and there were boxes everywhere.

"Just us." Jake laughed. "This is Embry and his step-dad Sam."

"Nice to meet you." I said shaking Sam's hand. "Umm…thanks for helping to destroy my house."

"We did not destroy your house." Esme said. "Come see."

I followed her down the hallway and into what use to be my music room. It was now completely empty except for the rocking chair that was in the corner next to the window. "It's a bedroom for Bree." She smiled.

"Wow, this actually great mom." I said honestly. I was wondering where we were going to put everything, now there was plenty of room. It _my_ stuff I now had to make room for.

We walked back into the living room and I instructed everyone to pile all of the boxes against the wall to get everything out of the way. After there was room for people to walk through the living room we all started bringing things up from the truck and car.

The girls sat in the living room showing Esme all of the clothes while Emmett, Jasper, and I all went in the bedroom to set up the crib, and Jake and Sam put the highchair and dresser together in the other bedroom. We figured if we split up the furniture we could get it done faster.

We had all of the parts to the crib set around the bedroom floor and we all looked at the directions that were about five pages long. It looked like this was going to be an all night task.

"We don't need directions." Emmett boomed. "Were men."

I picked up the directions that Emmett had thrown and said, "When we are talking about my daughter's safety, we need directions."

"This thing might as well be written in German." Jasper sighed looking at the directions.

We got to work basically working off the pictures. The written directions were pretty much making no sense.

"That's upside down Emmett." I said. Taking a step back and looking at the crib it was clear that one of the sides was upside down.

Emmett argued with me until Jasper turned it over and fixed it.

"How's it going in here guys?" Jake asked from the doorway.

"Alright." I lied. "How is the dresser and highchair coming?"

"Done." Sam answered.

"Both?" Jasper asked amazed.

"Yeah, plus all of other stuff the girls bought that needed to be put together." Jake answered. "You guys are doing that wrong. Want some help?"

"Sure." I answered. "I need a break."

"Were men, we don't need directions." Sam laughed as Emmett handed the directions to him.

"See!" Emmett said as he and Jasper followed me out of the room.

I grabbed us each a beer out of the refrigerator and plopped myself down on the couch in the living room. The girls were dressing Bree up in different outfits and taking her picture. Esme had Bree sitting up against the Bear I bought taking her picture. That was a picture that I wanted a copy of.

About ten minutes later Sam and Jacob came out of the bedroom and said they were done.

"You put it together already?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was easy." Jake answered.

"Our turn." Alice squealed and the girls picked up most of the bags and ran into the bedroom. Esme handed Bree to me and followed the girls into the bedroom.

I ordered pizza for everyone for dinner. The girls took pizza with them back to the bedroom and the guys all ate in the living room while watching a baseball game. Embry is cute but he was making me nervous. He never left Bree's side. After the game Jacob went to say good-bye to the girls and picked Embry up off the couch where he had fallen asleep next to Bree.

"Daddy, can we keep Bree?" He mumbled sleepily.

"No, buddy." Jake said. "She has to stay here with her daddy. But, we can come visit her again."

"Alright." Embry mumbled. "Bye Bree. I love you." Then he fell back to sleep.

I couldn't help but smile at Embry. We all said our good-byes as Jake and Sam left. I'm glad they were here or that crib might have never got done. I don't know how much patience I would have had before the crib went flying out the window.

A half an hour later the girls came out of the bedroom. "Were done. Come see." Bella said.

"What is she wearing?" Rosalie asked pointing to Bree.

"A jersey. Isn't it cute?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, but she's a girl."

"So? I'm going to buy them for all of our boys too." Emmett said.

"All of our boys?" Rosalie asked raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah. I want at least five boys."

"I'm sorry but I want two kids. One boy, one girl." Rosalie said. "Unless you're popping those boys out yourself then you're not getting any damn football team."

I followed Bella into the bedroom to see the 'decorating' they did, leaving the bickering that had commenced about the number of children everyone was having. Apparently Alice wanted more children then Jasper wanted. I thought it was a little early for there children talk, but what did I know?

I walked into the room and was amazed by what I saw. The walls had a border that was pink and yellow with flowers and butterflies that matched the blanket set that was in the crib. The dresser was against the opposite wall of the crib with stuffed animals all over it. There was a huge doll house and other toys that would be a long time before she could actually use. The giant bear I bought her was sitting in the rocking chair over looking the crib.

"Wow, it's beautiful. A lot of pink, but beautiful." I said as I looked around the room.

"So you like it?" She asked.

"Nope. I love it." I smiled as I moved closer to her. Bella watched my face as I moved slowly towards her. I ran my hands down her arms taking her hands. "I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to thank you for everything you have done. Helping me with Bree, buying her all the stuff you didn't have to, making this room for her."

"It was nothing." Bella breathed.

"It was nowhere near nothing, Bella." I said as I lowered my head towards hers. She was watching my lips as I inched closer. She closed her eyes just before my lips made contact with hers.

"I hope were not all being thanked that intimately."

Both of our heads snapped up to see who was standing in the door way.

I dropped Bella's hands and she stepped back from me as I said, "Yeah, thanks, _mom_." What a mood killer. Blocked by my own mother…awesome.

**A/N: I have to thank everyone for the reviews. We are almost at 100 reviews, which is awesome! I read them all and they make smile and laugh. **

**I have to thank missemmett for the Baby Bjorn idea! I couldn't take her idea without giving her some credit.**

**Leave me some love in the form of a review and I will see you for the next update! **


	7. Chapter 7: Lullaby

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**I am sorry that this chapter took awhile to update. I went to the dentist so I have been in a wee bit of a lot of damn pain. I have been writing during pain pills. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 7: Lullaby**

**BPOV**

After everybody cleared out of Edward's apartment for the night, I helped him clean up and move around some of the stuff in the living room so that it was more accessible to move around in.

I ignored the almost kiss that we had had. I wish it would have been interrupted by someone other then his own mother, but I couldn't change that now. At least she was nice enough to drop the subject after a few awkward moments.

I was definitely attracted to Edward. In addition, I was definitely impressed with how much he had seemed to grow up in just the past few days, but Edward has a lot on his plate right now with Bree, and having to find Jessica. I do not want to be a cause to more stress.

Alternatively, that could just be my excuse for running away from my obvious attraction to him.

"Thank you for all of your help today." Edward said for about the hundredth time today.

"Will you stop thanking me?" I laughed.

"I can think of a better way to thank you without saying anything." Edward smirked with a devilish glint in his eye.

"No, no." I said as I stepped back from him. "I have to get going."

"What? Where are you going?" Edward asked confused.

"Home?" It came out more as a question. "To sleep."

"No. I need you to stay."

"No you don't." I laughed.

Edward sighed and looked frustrated as he ran his hand through hair. "How am I going to hear Bree in the middle of the night when she is in a different room?"

"I actually prepared for you to have this problem." I said and grabbed Edward's hands. "Come on, I have a surprise for you."

"Mmm…I think I'm going to like this surprise." Edward said as I pulled him down the hallway towards his bedroom.

"It's not that kind of surprise." I rolled my eyes at him. "Surprise!" I shouted.

"What is that?"

"It's a basinet. It is for Bree to sleep in if you want her to sleep in this room with you." I explained.

"Thanks, Bella." Edward smiled.

"Your welcome." I said. "Now she can sleep in here and you can have your bed back."

"Now there is more room for us." Edward smiled as he jumped on the bed and folded his arms behind his head.

"No, no, no." I laughed. "There is no us. _I'm_ sleeping in my own bed tonight."

"Alright." Edward sighed. "Well, this basinet is on wheels. We will come with you."

"Edward." I growled in warning. "I am going home. You and Bree and staying here."

"Bella." He wined. "I can't do this on my own. I need you. _We_ need you."

"Edward, you and Bree will both be fine." I reassured him. "You have been doing great with her and you have to learn to do it on your own eventually since your going to be doing it for the rest of your life."

"Which only means I have plenty of time to learn and you can stay tonight." Edward pleaded.

Edward stood from the bed and started walking towards me and Bree started crying from the other room.

"I'm sorry, Edward. But, my bed misses me and duty calls you."

"Now _my_ bed is going to miss you." Edward said from behind me as we walked down the hallway.

I tried to contain the giggle that was threatening to burst from my mouth. "You will be fine. I have been here all week. It's time I go home. And if you need me I will be right next door, it's not like I'm leaving the country."

I laughed when Edward grumbled something incoherent. He picked up Bree and she snuggled into his chest and stopped crying. It really was a cute picture seeing them together.

I leaned forward and kissed Bree on the cheek and said, "Goodnight Bree."

"Hey what about me?" Edward said I turned to leave. I looked back at him and he turned his head to the side wanting a kiss on the cheek.

I laughed and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Just as I was going to touch his cheek, he turned his face and caught my lips with his. I should have figured he would have done that.

"Juvenile." I sighed as I backed away.

"You know you love me." Edward said with his crooked smile that always made my heart accelerate.

"I love Bree." I winked. "Goodnight Edward." I said as I left the apartment to give Edward his first time alone as a single father.

I walked into my apartment to find that I had the place to myself, which wasn't surprising. I went to my room, gathered my things, and went into the bathroom to enjoy a nice hot bath. After soaking in the tub until I turned all prunie, I climbed into my bed and stretched out as much as I could. After sleeping on the edge of Edward's bed all week, it was nice to stretch out.

"_I can show you the world_

_Shinning, shimmering, splendid_

_Tell me Princess, now when did_

_You last let your heart decide?"_

"What is that?" I whispered. I moved up higher on the pillow so that my head was right next to the wall that Edward and I shared.

"_I can open your eyes_

_Take you wonder by wonder_

_Over, sideways and under_

_On a magic carpet ride."_

I smiled as I realized it was Edward singing softly to Bree.

"_A whole new world_

_A new fantastic point of view_

_No one to tell us no or where to go_

_Or say were only dreaming"_

I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I listened to him sing. He had an amazing voice and I thought his song choice was appropriate. They had both been forced into a new world, and I knew even though Edward had only been in this new world for a week, he wouldn't want it any other way.

"_A whole new world_

_A dazzling place I never knew_

_But when I'm up here_

_it's crystal clear"_

I closed my eyes and fell asleep listening to Edward sing Bree to sleep.

"_That now I'm in a whole_

_New world with you_

_Now I'm in a whole _

_New world with you"_

**~/~/~/~/~/~**

I woke up in the morning feeling very refreshed. I walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast. I made pancakes, eggs, and bacon, which seemed to be everybody's favorite. Just as I was setting everything down on the table, I heard my door open and knew that the troops could smell the food.

"Good morning my queen."

"Good morning my king." I said as I smiled up at Jacob. "Want some breakfast?"

"Yeah." He said rubbing his stomach and sitting down at the table. "I thought you would have been over at lover boy's house. He said he hadn't seen you all morning."

"I stayed here last night." I explained. "You went there first?"

"Yeah, it was weird when I walked in and called him my queen." He laughed. I snorted at the image of Jake calling Edward his queen. "It was funny until he said shouldn't I be the queen."

I laughed harder. "That is so true. You should be the queen."

"I am not a _queen_." Jake fiend hurt.

Suddenly there was a bunch of banging noises and then we heard Bree start screaming. Jake and I both jumped up from the table and ran out the door. We burst into Edward's apartment to see him trying to calm Bree down, which wasn't working.

"What the hell was that noise? Is she alright?" I asked frantically.

"I don't know what is wrong with her." Edward answered just as frantically. "I started playing the drums and she just went crazy."

I took Bree and walked around the room with her soothing her until she calmed down.

"Eddie, my queen." Jake laughed. "You can't play loud noises it scares babies. And the drums definitely scared her."

"How am I suppose to work if I can't play my drums?" Edward asked. "And stop calling me queen."

"I'm sure you will figure something out." I said as I handed Bree back to Edward. "There is breakfast done at my place if you are hungry."

"That sounds good." Edward said. "I will be over in a little bit."

Jake and I went back to my apartment and sat to eat, while everyone else joined us. Edward came in with Bree just as we were finishing up. Edward sat down, got a plate, and started eating while I bounced Bree on my lap.

"I figured out a solution to the drum problem." Edward said around a mouthful of pancakes.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"You have to see it." Edward said. I couldn't wait to see what his solution was.

After Edward finished eating we all walked over to his apartment with him. I ran into the back of Emmett when he stopped right in front of me. He doubled over with laughter but I couldn't see what he was laughing about.

"What the hell is that?" Emmett managed to say during his laughing fit.

"My drums." Edward said.

I finally made it around Emmett to see the drums in the middle of the room with pillows strapped to all of the individual drums. I couldn't contain my laughter when I saw that. It looked so stupid.

"Stop laughing." Edward warned everybody.

Once everybody calmed down, I went back to my apartment to clean up from breakfast.

"So, I'm going out tonight and you're going with me." Jake said as he helped me clean off the table.

"Where are we going?" I asked. "And who all is going?"

"We both have a date." He said all in a rush. "It will be fun."

"Back up." I sighed. "What do you mean we both have a date?"

"I have a date with a guy named Alex and you have a date with his twin Paul." Jake said. "Please, please, please say you will go."

"Jake." I groaned. "You know I hate blind dates."

"Please." Jake wined giving me his puppy dog face. He knew damn well I could never resist his pouting face.

"Twins?" I asked and he nodded. "You and I dating twins. That is really weird."

"You are going to love it, Bells." He said getting excited. "They are identical. Their tall, tan, muscular, short dark hair, you can wash your laundry on their abs, and bounce a quarter off their asses."

I couldn't deny his description was enticing. "Ugh. Alright." I conceded.

Jacob jumped up and down like an excited little girl. "You're not going to regret this. We will be here to pick you up at seven. Be ready."

I had to admit I was very nervous at the idea about going out on a date but I was also a little excited. I knew Alice and Rose would be ecstatic about it, seeing how I haven't been on a date in over a year and even longer since I have had sex. They are always trying to set me up on dates, which I always find a way out of.

I knew one person who was not going to be so happy about my date.

**A/N: Hmm…wonder what Edward is going to say about Bella's date? Leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**I'm sorry this chapter is short but I really wanted to update today for you. I'm going to take some meds and lie down and then start on the next chapter!**

**Leave a review maybe it will help me feel better *wink wink***


	8. Chapter 8: Horrible day

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters. I am just borrowing them.**

**I have to give a huge thank you to everyone who left a review and put this story and me on their favorite's lists. We made it to over 100 reviews, which is awesome. Thanks to everyone who is reading but not leaving a review also. Thanks for reading. **

**The reviews helped me feel better. Thanks for everybody who wished me well :)**

**This chapter is all Edward's POV. I was going to wait and post tomorrow but decided you all deserved it sooner. So, here you go! I hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter 8: Horrible day**

**EPOV**

After Bella went home for the night, even thought I didn't want her to, I was damn near close to begging her to stay, and I walked over to where Bree was laying and sighed as I watched her stretching her tiny arms. I was beyond nervous about being alone with her tonight. I was scared to death that I would do something wrong and hurt her. I am not a small guy, and she a tiny fragile little thing.

I laid down on the floor next to her. Bree turned her head towards me and my heart melted when she wrapped her tiny hand around my finger.

"We will be just fine." I whispered to her. I was still nervous, but just her little noises of contentment put me at ease. I knew I could do this…I needed to do this…I _wanted_ to do this.

After changing Bree and carefully putting her into pajamas, I carried her into my room without even considering putting her in her own room. I placed her in the middle of my bed and curled myself around her; she again grabbed my finger I couldn't stop the smiled that spread across my face.

I started to hum to her and she smiled up at me, she actually smiled. I was beyond ecstatic. My first reaction was to let out a little squeal, which was very unlike me. Then I wanted to run and tell Bella. I refrained from running to Bella, but it was too late to take back the girlish squeal.

If it was my voice that made her smile then that is what I would give her. I started to sing one of the only children's songs I knew. 'A whole new world' from Aladdin. Aladdin was my favorite movie growing up because I always thought Aladdin was cool and I wanted my own personal genie. And let's face it, he had the hottest Princess with the skimpiest clothes next to Arial, but she had a fin, which was weird.

As I sang to her she kept her smile, which made my own smile even bigger. Bree's eyes started to droop as I was ending the song. After I finished singing I picked Bree up and gently placed her in the basinet next to my bed after I kissed her on the forehead. I tucked her in and whispered a goodnight to her.

I fell asleep quickly after I flopped down on my own bed. A few hours of sleep a night can really do a guy in after a while.

I opened my eyes and looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand to see that is was already six in the morning. I quickly bolted upright in bed and looked in Bree's basinet to see her staring up at the small mobile that was hanging from the canopy.

"We slept all night!" I said cheerfully. It felt great to sleep the whole night after not sleeping barely at all for the past week.

I picked Bree up and took her into the bathroom to get her changed and get her a bath. I walked into her bedroom with her, very proud of myself that I had bathed her all on my own.

After placing Bree in her crib I stood and stared in the open closet that was jam packed with clothes. I dug through them until I found some of the stuff I had bought and found a onsie that said "Daddy's Princess" and a pair of the overalls. I laid Bree on the floor and started dressing her.

"I see now why the girls bought a bunch of dresses." I said as I struggled with the buttons of the overalls. "These things are hard to work."

Finally I got Bree dressed after I tied up her tiny pink sneakers and held her up to smile at my success.

"Good morning my Queen." I heard when I opened the door hoping to see that it was Bella who was knocking.

"Good morning, but aren't you the queen?" I asked with a snicker.

"I am not a queen." Jake said while deepening his voice and flexing his biceps. "Plus, I thought you would be Bella."

"Bella stayed at her place last night. I haven't seen her yet this morning." I explained.

"First night alone as a father?" Jake laughed. "And you didn't pull all your hair out? Good job."

"Yeah, I survived. Even though I will admit I was scared I wouldn't." I laughed.

"It will get easier." Jake said then laughed. "Sort of, then you have all new worries as they get older."

"Yeah, sounds like it gets so much easier." I said sarcastically.

"Just hang in there. It's all worth it." He smiled and bumped me on the shoulder. "I'm going to go see Bella. I'm sure I will see you later."

After saying our goodbyes I carried Bree into the living room and fed and burped her and then stuck her in the swing that was in the corner of the room. I looked around and decided that I would celebrate my small victory of surviving the morning alone and sat down at my drums.

I picked up my sticks and after counting down I started playing a song I was working on. As soon as I hit the first drum Bree started screaming a blood curdling scream.

I jumped up from my seat behind my drums and ran to Bree. I picked her up and tried checking her for injuries, I couldn't find anything. I tried soothing her which was to no avail. I felt completely and utterly at a loss. I didn't know what to do.

As if there was someone looking down on me to answer my prayers, Bella and Jake came running into the apartment to see what had happened.

When I explained to them about my playing the drums Jake actually laughed at me. Bella, thankfully calmed Bree down and then invited us over for breakfast.

I stood in the middle of the room looking at my drums. I came up with a great idea and strapped pillows to all of the drums. Looked stupid, but it could work.

After breakfast at Bella's I was sitting in my apartment with Emmett and Jasper talking, after they stopped laughing about my drum fixture, which I didn't think they were going to do anytime soon.

"We are all going out tonight." Jasper stated. "You coming with us?"

"Um…I don't know yet what we are doing." I stated. "I want to go talk to Carlisle today and then I don't know what are plans are after that."

Jasper and Emmett shared a glance and then they both turned to me.

"We are going out to a club." Emmett said slowly. "I don't think Bree can go."

I took a deep breath after what Emmett said. I felt like a fool because I wasn't talking about Bree, and I hadn't even realized I said what I did.

"I, uh…I didn't mean Bree." I said lamely.

"Then who is the _we_ you are talking about?" Jasper asked smirking.

I took a deep breath running my hands through my hair wishing I could take back what I said.

"I meant me and Bella." I said all in one breathe.

"Mhmm." Emmett mumbled. "You do realize that just because she has been helping you out it doesn't automatically make you a couple, right?"

"Yes, I realize that." I snapped.

"Yeah, we are not quite so sure that you do." Jasper said and then they both laughed.

"Whatever." I grumbled and left the room when Bree started crying from her bedroom. I could hear them laughing behind me, which only pissed me off more.

Bree smiled at me when I picked her up out her crib. Just that little smile made me forget all about my brother's and there teasing. The one smile Bree gave me was all it took for my whole day to turn around and brighten.

"We have stuff to do," Jasper said as I walked back into the living room with Bree, "We will be back later."

"Let us know if "we", Emmett said using his fingers for air quotes, "are going with us tonight."

"Ass-wipe." I grumbled. They both just laughed as they left the apartment.

After changing and feeding Bree, I loaded up her stroller, picked her up in my arms, and left the apartment. I walked over to Bella's door and knocked. I heard squealing as I waited and realized that Alice and Rosalie were home. I sighed and waited for them to answer the door.

"Hey, Edward." Bella said with a smile as she answered the door. "Hi, Bree." She cooed and kissed her on the head.

"Hey, I'm going to talk to Carlisle at the hospital and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"

"No, no, no." Alice said walking up behind Bella. "She can't go anywhere; we have a lot do to get her ready. And, oh my God, Edward, what is she wearing?" She pointed to Bree.

"We buy her all those pretty clothes and you put her in overalls like she's a baby farmer." Alice sighed.

"She does not look like a baby farmer." I snapped.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry you are stuck with a father with no fashion sense, Bree. Bella hurry up we have a lot to do." With that Alice walked back into the apartment leaving me alone with Bella.

"So." I started. "You have plans?"

"Apparently." She rolled her eyes. "I, uh…I have a date tonight. And Rose and Alice think it's going to take all day to get me ready."

My heart sank as soon as she said she had a date. I didn't know who her date was with, but I already hated the guy.

"Oh, umm…yeah, well that should be fun." I stuttered like a fool not knowing how to respond.

"If you say so." Bella laughed. "It's a blind date Jake set up. I'm not really looking forward to it"

I was happy about Bella saying she wasn't looking forward to it. I was still upset that she had a date at all. I had no claim to her, I knew that, and everyone seemed to be trying their damndest to make that the point today.

"Bree and I are going to head over to the hospital to see if Carlisle can help with my baby mama search." I stated shifting uncomfortably.

Bella snorted at the baby mama comment. "I wish I could go with you. I told you I was going to help you."

"Don't worry about it." I waved her off. "Have fun with your makeover."

"More like my torture treatment." She sighed. "Let me know what you find out from Carlisle."

"I will." I said. "I'm sure I will see you before your date." I barely choked out the word _date_.

Bella smiled and walked back into the apartment.

"This is not good, Bree." I sighed placing Bree in the stroller. "We have to do something about this." She smiled seeming to agree with me.

The walk to the hospital was short and nice. It was warm out and there was a light breeze. Bree slept most of the way there and every woman that we passed seemed to admire the baby and in turn me. If I didn't already have my eyes one Bella, this might have worked out great.

"Edward, Bree, what a nice surprise." Carlisle said cheerily as we walked into his office.

"I hope we are not disturbing you." I said.

"My granddaughter could never disturb me." He said as he picked Bree up out of her stroller. "Or you. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I actually came to ask for a favor." I said settling into one of the chairs opposite his desk. "I don't know if you could actually do it, but I was wondering if since Jessica was a patient here if you had an address for her or a phone number?"

"Actually it is something that I can not do, because of patients rights." He said and I felt my heart drop for the second time today. "But, it's also something that I already did."

I perked up and raised my eyebrows at him.

"I took a look at her file and she has no other address than the one at the apartment building you live in, but she does have an emergency contact phone number."

I felt hope for the first time today.

Carlisle pulled a single piece of paper out his desk and slid it across to me. "It is for a Wanda Stanley in upstate Washington. It's Jessica's mother. I figured if anyone knew where she is it would be her mom."

"Wow dad, this is great. Thank you so much." I smiled genuinely.

"It's no problem. Just don't let anyone know I gave you the number." Carlisle said. "It is important for you to know her side of what happened. And more then any of us would like to know, this little one here is going to be asking questions of her own."

My heart fell yet again as I looked at Bree. I would love nothing more than to hear what Jessica had to say. But looking at Bree I knew someday she would want to know where her mother is why she wasn't wanted, if that was the case. I needed to have answers for Bree more than I needed them for myself.

I sat in my living room, after putting Bree in her crib for a nap, staring at the phone in my hand and the phone number on the paper. I wanted to call, I _needed_ to call. But I was nervous. I knew no matter what her excuses to my questions where I needed to hear them.

I took a deep breath and dialed the number that was on the paper and held the phone to my ear. I sat on the edge of the couch bouncing my knees as I listed to the phone on the other end ring.

"Hello?" A sweet voice came though the line.

"Umm, hi. Is this Wanda Stanley?" I asked.

"It sure is. And who might you be?" The women asked. "If your going to sell me something just let me say that I have insurance, I am happy with my long distance carrier, I don't need to upgrade my cable, I already bought girl scout cookies, as rude as it sounds I don't have the dollar a day it costs to sponsor a needy child, and I don't want a chance to win a cruise around the world. But if you're interested I have a house full of my ex-husbands crap I would be more than willing to sell you."

I couldn't help the laugh that erupted from my mouth as I listened to her talk.

"No, no." I said cutting her off before she could try to sell me anything else. "I am actually a friend of your daughter's and I was wonder if she happened to be there."

"Oh." She said happily. "Well, damn. I was hoping I could get rid of some of this morons crap." She laughed.

"I'm sorry." I laughed. This woman was definitely putting my nerves at ease. "Buy a wood chipper. That could be a fun way to get rid of it all."

"Oh! Why haven't I thought of that before? I even have a wood chipper." I didn't even want to question why she owned a wood chipper.

"So, uh, about Jessica?" I asked getting nervous again.

"I'm sorry dear. Jessica isn't here." She stated. "She called me a few months back and told me that she was moving and every few weeks I get a post card from her."

"Can you give me her address?" I asked hopeful and got a pen ready to write it down.

"I would but the post cards are always from somewhere different. She hasn't given me an address to a house yet."

And there it was, the next heart fall. What a shitty day this was turning out to be.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. But if you tell me your name I will tell her that you called the next time I hear from her."

"Edward Cullen." I said as I threw the pen across the room in frustration.

"Oh! Jessica's neighbor. She has talked about you."

I was suddenly hopeful again. Maybe she knew about Bree. Maybe she could answer some of my questions. Maybe she knew nothing and I was at a dead end.

"Good things I hope." I laughed nervously.

"All good things." She laughed. "You were her object of desire for awhile."

_Object of her desire_? I knew Jessica and I hooked up when we needed that quick release. I never felt anything more for her and I thought she felt the same for me. This was news to me. She never showed an interest other then when she wanted sex. Which in turn is what got me here in this situation in the first place.

"I did not know she felt that way." I said.

"Well, don't feel too special. There is a new guy she claims to be in love with every few months." She laughed. "I know that's a horrible way to talk about my daughter, but it's true. She is unstable in that way. And I am really sorry if you had feelings for her too. I seem to put my foot in my mouth a lot. This might be why I have an ex-husband and not a husband."

"Oh, no. You're fine." I laughed. "I only though of me and Jess as friends."

"Well, between me and you, I think most of her love interest's do too."

I couldn't help but think about her saying Jessica had a new guy every few months. Maybe this whole was a scheme of hers. Sleep with a guy, get pregnant, than strap a single guy with a kid and leave. Yeah, because that made a lot of damn sense.

"Well, if you hear from her please tell her that I called and that it is important that she get a hold of me." I begged.

"I sure will, sweetie." She said.

I wondered if I should tell this woman about Bree. She clearly had no idea about her. And she is after all, Bree's other grandmother. I wasn't sure what to do so I figured I would wait and let her end the phone call after we said goodbye.

After I threw the phone down on the coffee table I leaned back on the couch closing my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. I didn't know where to go now or what to do. All I could hope was that Jessica would call me after she got my message, when ever that would be.

"So, are you going? Staying?" Emmett asked as they were all getting ready to leave for the night.

"I think I am going to stay." I sighed. "I didn't get a babysitter and I don't want to be the seventh wheel."

"Actually you would be the ninth wheel. Jacob has a date too."

That figures. Everyone has a damn date but me. It's amazing how so much can change in such a short amount of time. Usually it is me that initiates these nights out. Now it's me who is sitting out. If it were not for the fact that Bella had a date, I would be content in staying home.

"That sucks man. "Emmett said. "But, we are going to take off. Jake and Bella are going to meet us later at the club. Join us if you change your mind."

I nodded as they left the apartment. Bree started crying and I walked into her room. I looked down at her in the crib and smiled. "What's that Bree? You are not feeling well?"

I laughed as she cooed. I took a deep breath and started yelling for Bella. I picked Bree up and went into the living room.

"Edward, what the hell is going on?" Bella yelled as she came running into the apartment with Jake hot on her heels.

"I think Bree is sick." I said frantically. "She feels warm and she was coughing. I don't know what to do. Should I take her to the hospital?"

"Calm down." Bella said. She felt Bree's face and said, "She does feel kind of warm."

"She does? I meant she does." I didn't notice she was warm when I picked her up. Maybe that was Bree's way of helping in my plan. I looked over at Jake who was looking at me with his eyebrow raised. He didn't look as convinced as Bella was.

"Should I take her to the hospital?" I asked ignoring Jacob's glare.

"That might be a bit extreme." Jacob said. "Give her some baby Tylenol and a cool bath and I'm sure she will be just fine."

"I don't know. I have never dealt with a sick baby before. I think I should just take her to the hospital." I said frantically.

"I can stay and help you." Bella said. Bingo! My plan was working beatify.

"Oh, no you can't." Jake said. "You have a date and they will be fine."

"Jake, have a heart." Bella sighed. "He's scared for Bree. I can do the date another night." I didn't like that idea. How many times can me and Bree fake an illness?

"Bella, he's never going to learn to be a dad if you are holding his hand every step of the way." Jake said taking Bree from Bella. "This is a good learning experience for him." He cocked his head to the side and said, "Right? Edward?"

He could see right through me and my scheme, which was obvious.

"Yeah." I croaked.

"She's not even warm anymore." Jake laughed. "It was a false alarm."

There was knocking from down the hallway and Jake walked to the door and looked down the hallway. "They're here Bella. You ready?"

"Are you sure you will be fine?" Bella asked. "I can stay, it's no problem."

"Other than the fact that there would be more meat for me, yes it is a problem." Jake said from the doorway.

"I will be fine. Go have fun on your date." I managed to say, even though I didn't want to say it.

"Alright." Bella said. "I will come check on her when I get home."

Bella walked out of the apartment and down to her date, who I didn't want to see. Jake walked closer to me handing Bree back to me.

"That was a nice try, Edward." Jake chuckled. "Babies are always warm when they just wake up. But I give you an A for effort."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." I laughed.

"Nope, I can't. I am sorry I was here to ruin it for you."

"Yeah me too."

Jake laughed and left the apartment closing the door behind him. I was left standing in the middle of my living room holding Bree.

I looked down at her and said, "Well that didn't work out like I had planned."


	9. Chapter 9: Boy's night out

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**I have to say thank you for all the reviews. I had the biggest response to the last chapter. Keep it up, you guys are awesome!**

**What I didn't expect was everyone being angry with Jacob. I didn't even think about how everyone was going to see that as Jacob cock blocking Edward. However, Jacob is going to try to redeem himself in this chapter. I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 9: Boys night out**

**EPOV**

Three weeks. Three god damn long fuckin' weeks, since Bella went out on a date. To my dismay, their date went much better than what I had hoped it would. I was hoping for her to come home crying to me that it went horrible and she hated this guy, but that was not what happened at all.

When Bella came home that night, she stopped in to check on Bree and was wearing a huge smile. That was my first sign that the date went the opposite of what I hoped.

Bella was hesitant to tell me how her date went when I asked, but finally she opened the floodgates of how wonderful it went and how wonderful he was. Even though I didn't know this guy, and he could be the nicest guy in the world, I hated him.

Since their date, I have met him. And, yup, I hate him. He's big and muscular, and seems to have a bit of a temper, and just…stupid. I know that's juvenile, but I don't care.

He, _Paul_ - what a gay name- seemed to hate me just as much as I hated him. He hated the fact that Bella spent all the time she wasn't with him, with me and Bree.

He never kept it a secret that he thought Bella was wasting her time helping me with Bree. He never said it in front of Bella, but the second her back was turned, he let me know how he truly felt about me.

_Whatever, douche. Eat shit and fuck off._

I was sitting on the couch watching TV, after Bree went down for a nap, when Jasper and Emmett came through the door. I waved in acknowledgment but kept my eyes glued to the TV.

"What are you watching so intently?" Jasper asked.

"_Days of our Lives_." I answered from my spot on the edge of the couch.

"Isn't that a soap opera?" Jasper asked as he threw himself down in the chair across from me.

"Yes, but it's getting really good." I answered. "Ej kidnapped his own daughter so that Sammy would get closer to him. And Hope is just going bat shit crazy."

"When the hell did your penis leave you?" Emmett asked as he walked out of the kitchen. "You should have told us. We could have had a going away party."

"Sorry, man. I have to agree with Emmett, which doesn't happen often. But my dick started packing up my balls just from listening to you." Jasper chimed in.

"Real funny." I rolled my eyes at them.

"We are taking you out tonight." Emmett said throwing himself down on the couch next to me and stealing the remote. I restrained myself from letting out a squeal of disappointment of him changing the channel. I didn't want to give them any more ammo to use against me.

"I can't go out tonight." I sighed. "I have Bree."

"Edward." Jasper moaned. "Do you think because mom had kids she stayed in the house for over twenty years?"

"No, she didn't." Emmett answered. "She had a life. And Edward, man, you need a life. You have been caged in this house for over a month."

"Even if I did want to go out. I don't have a babysitter. Mom and dad are out of town."

To say that I had become a homebody would be an understatement. The only time I left the apartment was when I went to Bella's apartment or took Bree for a walk.

"Tonight is just a guy's night. So you have Bella, Alice, and Rosalie." Jasper suggested.

"I'm sure Bella will be busy." I grumbled.

I noticed the glance that Emmett and Jasper shared. "Mhmm." Jasper mumbled.

Emmett clapped his hands together loudly making me jump. "So what if she is." He stated. "This is what you are going to do." He continued. "You are going to get the girls to baby-sit, take your balls out of your purse, and go out drinking with us tonight."

They didn't leave much room for argument before they left the apartment. I sat back on the couch and sighed, running my hands through my hair, knowing they were not going to let me get out of going with them tonight.

After Bree woke up and I fed her we walked over to Bella's and invited her to lunch. She accepted, like she always does.

We walked to the diner down the street, sat in a booth in the back, and ordered our usual.

"Do you have plans tonight?" I asked while playing with the silverware.

"Not a thing. You?" She asked while slapping my hand when my spoon went flying from the catapult I made.

"No _Paul_ tonight?" I never tried to hide the fact that I didn't like him, it was pointless.

"No." She laughed. "He's working tonight. He is not as bad as think he is. He is a really sweet guy." I rolled my eyes and she laughed again.

"Yeah, as sweet as a shark during a feeding frenzy." I mumbled.

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" She asked ignoring my comment.

"Emmett and Jasper want me to go out tonight, but I don't have a sitter."

"I will watch Bree." Bella said excitedly. "You should go out. You deserve it."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive. Go, have fun." She smiled.

We continued our conversation through lunch, never bringing up Paul again. She knew I did not like him. And I saw red every time I heard the fucker's name. In addition, thinking about the two of them together just made it worse.

I was just opening my door, after dropping Bella off at her door, when Emmett came walking down the hallway.

"What time are we going?" I asked and watched his face light up like a fat kid in a chocolate factory on free sample day.

"You're going?" He asked.

"Yes. Bella is going to watch Bree for me."

"Awesome! Be ready about nine. I am going to get you laid my man, you need it." He said clapping me on the back.

This is not good. I wanted a night to relax, not have sex. Sex would be nice, but not with just some random bar whore. I haven't had sex since Bree came along. And it didn't even bother me. Which is very weird.

"Emmett, I do not want to get laid."

"Oh." He said with a sympathetic look. "I understand."

"You do?" I asked confused.

"Yes. Your balls are still in your purse."

"Emmett." I growled.

"Sorry." He held up his hands as he backed away. "Do you call it a murse?"

"What the fuck is a murse?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

"A purse for a man. A murse. Just big enough to fit your penis, balls, and lip gloss." He laughed.

"You're such a dick." I sighed. "I swear mom did drugs when she was pregnant with you."

"Whatever." He laughed. "Have your balls out of your murse and in place by nine." He finished as he walked into his apartment.

The rest of the afternoon went fairly quickly. I was actually looking forward to going out. I had no intentions of getting drunk, but the thought of a couple beers sounded nice.

I jumped in the shower and washed quickly. I walked into my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist. I grabbed the first things I came across. I ended up with dark wash jeans, and a black t-shirt. I topped it off with my favorite black leather jacket, and after trying to tame my hair, I was ready to go.

I changed Bree into pajamas and filled her diaper back. I carried her in her car seat and took her over to Bella's.

"Wow." Bella said looking me up and down, after opening the door. "You look nice. If I didn't have a boyfriend I might just throw myself at you."

I suppressed a moan at her statement and said, "Well if this is all it takes than I will wear this every damn day."

She laughed as she took Bree. She may have thought it was funny but I was dead serious.

"Who's ready to get their drink on?" Emmett hollered as he came in the apartment.

"You better behave yourself." Rosalie said pointing at Emmett.

"Yes, ma'am." He said as he saluted her.

"We won't be gone long." I said to Bella.

Bella told me to be out as late as I wanted to be. We headed out the door after I gave a Bree a kiss and I told her to behave, which the girls laughed at me for.

The walk to the bar down the street was quick. We walked in and grabbed a table near the dance floor. Emmett said even though he was off the market he could still look at the merchandise.

Jasper and I sat down as Emmett went to the bar and got our first round of drinks. Just as Emmett was setting a pitcher of beer and glasses on the table, Jacob and Sam walked to our table.

"You weren't going to start without us were you?" Jacob laughed pulling up a chair.

"Nah, man. We just got here." Jasper said.

"Jacob." I grumbled in acknowledgment.

"_Good God_, are you still angry with me?" Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Who's angry about what?" Emmett asked.

"Edward." Jake rolled his eyes. "He's still mad about me setting Bella up with Paul. In my defense though," He continued, "I didn't think she would like him. I just wanted her to go with so that I could go out with Alex."

"Well, obviously she likes him." I seethed.

"I don't even understand it." Jake said taking a drink from his beer. "I mean he's a total dick. She must see something nobody else does."

"Maybe his dick is made of chocolate." Emmett laughed. "Women can't resist chocolate."

"Can we not talk about Bella and Paul's dick?" I asked finishing off my first glass of beer in two swigs.

"I don't even see why you are mad." Jasper said. "Weren't you with some chick anyways?"

"Yes, but I was trying to prove a point." I said as everyone raised their eyebrows wanting an explanation. "I wanted to prove that I could be with one person."

"Yeah, that makes a lot of fuckin' sense." Emmett laughed downing his drink. He slammed his glass back on the table and continued. "Bella, look at me, I can fuck just one women. But I will drop her as soon as you want to ride the 'Edward Cullen monster dick-coaster'."

"I know it made no sense." I sighed. "I am an idiot, I admit it. Happy now?"

"Don't worry about it, Edward." Jake clapped me on the shoulder. "Bella and Paul will not last."

I could only hope that what he was saying was true. The conversation left Bella as we drank another two pitcher's of beer and a couple games of pool.

As we sat back down at the table and drank another round of beer, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I did a double take. Sure enough, sitting in the booth in the corner of the club was Paul with a woman, who was not Bella, sitting on his lap.

"Isn't that Paul?" I asked pointing my thumb over my shoulder.

"It sure is." Jasper answered. "And that is definitely _not_ Bella."

"Bella said he was working tonight." I said. I looked at Jacob and asked, "What does he do for a living?"

"I have no idea, but I'm sure it doesn't consist of buy hookers."

"Let's just go beat his ass." Sam answered. He was completely smashed drunk, but his idea was a good one.

"No, no, no." Jacob said. "I owe Edward, so let me take care of this." He had an evil grin as he stood from the table.

We all stood from the table and followed behind Jake. We sat at the table next to Paul's as Jake walked right up to Paul.

"Oh…ah…hey, Jake." Paul stammered looking terrified.

"Oh…ah…hey, Paul. Who the fuck is this?" Jake said slamming his hands down on the table.

"This is Heidi." Paul said after hesitating. "She's…ah…my cousin."

The look on the girls face was priceless, as she looked at Paul, confused.

"You let your cousin sit in your lap?" Jake asked still leaning on the table. "That's gross and freaking me out. What is your motto? Keep your friends close and your cousins closer?"

"Who are you?" The girl seethed.

"I'm Jake. I would say it is a pleasure to meet you, but frankly I can't say that when you are sitting in my boyfriends lap."

I choked on my beer when Jake said that. Emmett and Jasper where trying to hide their laughter and Sam was practically falling out of his chair.

Heidi looked back and forth between Jake and Paul. "You're gay?" She asked Paul.

"What? No!" Paul shouted. "He went out with my brother. Not me."

"Sweaty, don't lie to the poor girl." Jake said sliding into the seat across from them.

"Well," Heidi started, "there is more than enough of me for both of you." She tried talking in a seductive husky tone, but was failing miserably.

"Oh, honey." Jake said slowly. "I'm sure your vagina is well used enough to fit more than the both of us at one time."

"How dare you…" Heidi started yelling but Jake cut her off.

"Listen here you little bitch. I don't care who you are or who you think you are, but I will tell you this." He was pointing his finger in her direction as she sunk back against Paul. "I am gay, which in a way makes me slightly like a women, and a woman can hit a woman and if you don't get your trampy hoe bag ass off his lap, than hit you is definitely what I going to do to you."

I was surprised to see that Paul just sat there not saying a word. Heidi on the other hand was offended that he didn't interfere.

"Are you going to let him talk to me like that?" Heidi screeched.

"You should just go." Paul practically whispered pushing Heidi off of his lap.

Heidi slapped Paul across the face and screeched again then huffed as she stormed off.

"Was that entirely necessary?" Paul asked.

"Yes, you little pecker head it was necessary." Jake said leaning across the table at Paul. "You are dating one of the greatest women I have ever met and you are fucking cheating on her? And with someone like that no less?"

"I wasn't thinking." Paul said.

"No, shit!" Jake yelled. "And you know what? You are going to tell Bella yourself. Because if I have to tell her and break her heart than I am going to break your face." Paul had stood from the table and Jake was standing toe to toe with him.

"Is that understood?" Jake said pushing Paul against the wall.

"Yes."

"It better be." I said standing next to Jake.

Paul glared at me than shoved his way through Jake and I. I turned to watch him leave and saw red as he looked over his shoulder back at me and smiled and evil smile.

"So," Jake said clapping me on the back, "am I forgiven now?"

"You are forgiven." I laughed. "That was great. Little fucker deserved to be beat, but you did great."

"Let's do some damn shots. I lost my damn buzz." Emmett said excitedly rubbing his hands together.

The shots started flowing and Paul was forgotten for the moment.

**A/N: Did Jacob redeem himself in your eyes? Or at least start to? I know most of you were not happy about Bella being with Paul and you are probably even more un-happy about it now. It will all work itself out eventually. **

**Leave a review. Tell me your thoughts. Let me know what you're thinking and what you want to happen. That's the only way I can make everyone happy.**


	10. Chapter 10: Public Intoxication

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**I am so sorry this is a week late. I had a very busy week, but I finally**

**got it finished for you. Thank you all so much for all the reviews and for putting this story on alert and in your favorites.**

**I am so glad you are all happy with Jake again. This chapter starts off where we left off, so they are still in the bar. Hope you enjoy the drunken fun.**

**Chapter 10: Public intoxication**

EPOV

The shots were free flowing. I kept losing count as to how many we drank and gave up the third time I started counting over. All I know is I was feeling carefree and no pain - for now. I'm sure morning would kick my ass, but for right now I couldn't seem to care.

"Eddie, man." Emmett practically screamed and slapped me on the back so hard I flew forward and ran into the bar. "We have got to find you a woman and get you laid."

Even in my drunken state I took notice at all the people sitting at the bar turn in our direction to laugh at Emmett's statement.

"Will you shut up, dude?" I whispered loudly. "I don't need to get laid."

"Are you kidding me?" Emmett sighed. "We found you earlier, watching soap opera's. You definitely need some man on women action."

"I am just fine." I sighed. "Can we drop this subject?"

"It's going to fall off." Emmett said nodding his head toward Li'l' Eddie.

"There is no expiration date on it." I said. "I think the saying 'use it or lose it' is not true."

"Well, you are on the right track to finding out." He said clapping me on the back.

I rolled my eyes and followed him back to our table. I set down the tray with our shots on the table and took my seat. Everyone picked up a shot.

"Where the hell is Jasper?" I asked looking around for him.

"He was here a few minutes ago." Sam said.

"I'm here." We heard.

"What the hell are you doing down there?" I asked looking to Jasper who was sitting on the floor next to the table.

"I don't know how to tell you guy's this, but I am shrinking." We all started laughing after Jasper said that.

"No, seriously." Jasper said. "Stop laughing." Saying 'stop laughing' only makes you laugh more, which we all did. "I was sitting at the table then all of a sudden everything became huge and I couldn't reach the table."

"Jasper," I laughed, "as funny as it would be to let you think you shrunk, you didn't."

"Then why are you a giant?" Jasper shrieked.

"Because you are sitting on the floor dipshit. You fell out of your chair." I helped Jasper up off the floor and back into his chair.

"Oh, thank god." Jasper said once he was the size of the rest of us again. "That was the most terrifying experience I have ever had."

"One time I got my junk stuck in my zipper." Jake said. "That was pretty terrifying."

"This one time I thought I was shrinking." Jasper said. "That was pretty terrifying."

"Really?" I laughed. Before I could comment on Jasper's shrinking situation I felt an arm wrap around me. "What the hell dude?" I turned to ask Jacob who was sitting next to me.

Jacob just looked at me like had morphed a second head.

"Hey, there Eddie." Someone purred in my ear causing me to jump.

"Hello, Kate." I said once my heart was beating at a normal pace again.

"I haven't seen you in awhile. How have you been?" She asked.

"Good." I replied trying to un-wrap her arm from my chest.

"Do you still have that baby?"

"No." Emmett said. "He traded her on the black market for a kidney."

"A kidney?" Jake asked. "That was a bad investment. You're going to need a liver after tonight."

"What the hell kind of a stupid question is that, little girl?" Sam asked. "Once a father always a father."

"Why do you date these airheads?" Emmett asked like Kate wasn't still standing there.

"I don't date them." I answered. "I fuck them, then THEY. WONT. GO. AWAY."

We all snickered as Kate huffed then walked away. Hopefully she finally got the message. But like Emmett said, she's an airhead, so I can only hope.

Emmett walked to the bar to get us another round of drinks while we sat around the table laughing at lord knows what. We were all pretty wasted. Things were leaving my brain moments after they went in and I had no idea what we were talking about.

"No more drinks." Emmett pouted as he sat back down empty handed. "The bartender cut us off."

"Well that's bullshit." Jasper shouted.

"Apparently," Emmett said drawing out the word, "we are very intoxicated. Psha, whatever."

"Well, I guess it's time to go." I said.

"Yeah, I have to get Sam home before Leah rips my favorite body part off." Jake said holding Sam up who was starting to fall out his chair.

"We should probably get Jasper home before he starts shrinking again." I laughed.

"I don't want to shrink." Jasper said. "Alice is already scary; I don't want her to be taller then me. That's all I got over her."

Jake threw Sam's arm over his shoulder and pulled him up to stand, or rather lean. Emmett and I bother grabbed one of Jasper's arms and helped him stand. We were all pretty damn intoxicated, but Jasper and Sam were by far the worst off.

As we walked, (stumbled) out of the bar, Jake and Sam got into a cab that was waiting by the curb that the bartender had called for them. We were walking home since we only lived right down the street.

Jasper linked his arms with mine and Emmett's arms and said, "Come on scarecrow and lion, let's go see Dorothy."

"Why am I the scarecrow?" I asked. "He doesn't have a brain."

"Why am I the lion?" Emmett asked. "I have tons of courage." Then he started growling.

"Really?" Jasper snorted. "Holy shit there's Rose. And she looks pissed."

"Oh shit, where?" Emmett said frantically looking around then hid behind me and Jasper.

"Yeah, real courage there cowardly lion." I laughed.

After taking five minutes of trying to convince Emmett that Rose wasn't really there, we linked arms again, all lifted one foot then started skipping down the sidewalk singing, "We're off to see the Wizard".

Skipping was what we were trying to do anyways. Falling all over each other was more like it. Jasper kept tripping and ended up shoving me into the side of buildings.

Once we were almost to the apartment building a cop car pulled up next to us and parked. _Well, shit._

"Act normal." I hissed to Emmett and Jasper who both saluted me then lined up behind me against the building like we were being pulled over. _Yup, that's real normal guys._

"Where you boys headed?" The cop asked as he stepped out of his car and onto the sidewalk.

"Home." I said quickly before Emmett could answer something stupid. I heard him mumbling something about a panty raid in a nunnery. And I'm the one without a brain?

"Where are you coming from?" The cop asked.

"The bar right down the street." I said pointing down the road.

"Have you been drinking tonight?"

"No, sir. We went to a bar and drank juice." Emmett said seriously which made Jasper start snorting.

"Don't get smart with me boy. I am going to administer a field sobriety test."

"But, we weren't driving." I said.

"Ever heard of public intoxication?" He asked. This dude was pissing me off.

"But there is no public out here." Emmett said waving his hand around to show the empty street.

"Everybody stand up straight and lift one foot." The cop ordered, ignoring Emmett's comment.

We all stood as straight at statues and lifted one foot. Jasper of course could only stand long enough to lift his foot an inch off the ground then fall over into me, knocking me to the ground.

I swear the cop started laughing to himself while I lifted myself from the ground.

"Take your right hand and touch your nose." He said once I had righted myself.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out which was my right hand. I looked over at Jasper and Emmett and copied what they were doing. Apparently it was the wrong hand because the cop laughed again and mumbled, "Wow, you guys are idiots."

"Look, ossifer." Jasper said. "It doesn't take a rocket science to figure out we are ontoxicated."

"I don't think any of what you just said is right." I laughed.

"And what the hell is an ossifer?" Emmett asked.

"I think he means officer." The cop supplied, who was looking amused.

"Yeah that." Jasper said pointing at the cop. "Ossifer. I can't say it." He giggled. "Oooossifer. Oooossfiser."

"Okay, we agree it's a weird and hard word to say." Emmett said after he tried helping Jasper and realized he also couldn't say officer. I didn't even try. It was just funny listening to them. "We just want to go home, copper." Emmett continued. "It's just right there."

"What are you guy's doing out here this late?" The _copper_ asked looking at his watch. "It's almost five in the morning." Holy shit I didn't know it was that late. Or rather, that early in the morning.

"Because the bar frowns upon people spending the night." Jasper answered.

"Look, I'm sorry for my brother's they are idiots. We were just walking home because driving would have ended badly, and taking a cab was dumb because we only five minutes from the bar." I said. "If you are going to give us a ticket then can we just get it over with because I want to get home to my daughter."

"And his hot babysitter." Jasper mumbled the cops fingers twitched on his gun which made me nervous. Nobody likes a trigger happy cop.

"You have a daughter?" The cop asked. I nodded. "Heaven help her." He mumbled. I couldn't disagree with him. That was my feelings exactly.

"I need to get home because my girl friend is going to kill me." Emmett said.

"Mine too." Jasper said. "She is tiny but lethal."

"I'm not going to give you a ticket. Just head straight home."

"Thank you ossifer." I said then laughed. "That is a hard word."

We walked two steps then opened the door to the apartment building and said goodnight to the cop who laughed about how close to home we actually were.

We stumbled up the stairs to our floor and Emmett and Jasper walked into their apartment screaming at each other to keep quiet. I couldn't help but laugh when I heard Rose and Alice yelling at them for making so much noise.

I knocked quietly on Bella's door and waited for her to answer. A couple minutes later Bella opened the door looking like I had woke her up. Her eyes were half closed and her hair looked like a cute wild haystack.

"Hey, I'm sorry I was gone longer then I expected." I said.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. You deserved a night out." She smiled. "Did you have fun?"

"I did until we got pulled over by a cop."

"You were driving? Are you insane?" She asked frantically.

"No, no, no. We were walking." I answered.

"Oh, well, than that's just funny." She laughed.

"For you maybe." I sighed. "Is Bree ready?"

"She can just stay here tonight." Bella said.

"No! I need her. She's all I got." I said about in tears.

"Yes, but you need to sleep. She is alright here tonight." Bella said touching my arm. "Go get some sleep and come get her in the morning."

"That's kidnapping, Bella!" I practically shouted. "Bree! Bree! Come here baby."

"Alright, shhh. I will get her." Bella hissed.

"Thank you, _damn_. First Jessica steals her from me and now you are trying to steal her from me."

Bella came back to the door rolling her eyes. "I wasn't stealing her from you; I was trying to help you out." Bella said then handed me Bree wrapped in a blanket.

"She's so pretty isn't she?" I said looking down at Bree.

"She sure is. Get her home and get some sleep." Bella said than practically shut the door in my face.

"Rude." I said and walked into my own apartment.

I set Bree down on the couch so that I could take my jacket and shoes off.

"Let's get you changed and into bed baby girl." I said as I sat down on the couch.

"You're all I got left, Bree." I said as I changed Bree's diaper. "My brother's are so wrapped up in their girlfriends now, and I can't get the only girl I have ever wanted a relationship with." Saying that made me remember Paul and him cheating on Bella tonight, which pissed me off.

I want her and can't have her and the dick that has her doesn't want her, or at least doesn't want _just_ her.

I picked Bree up and set her in her crib, closed the lid, and walked into my bedroom.

I stripped out of my clothes and flopped down on my bed and passed out before I even covered with the blankets.

**~/~/~/~/~**

I woke up to the sun shining though the window and hitting me in the face. I tried opening my eyes and winced in pain as the sun shone in my eyes. I grabbed my head and rolled on my side. My head felt like there were tiny men in there using jackhammers.

I slowly opened my eyes again and looked at the clock and saw that it was after one in the afternoon.

Hmm that's weird, I thought. Bree didn't wake me up in the morning. I slowly rolled out of bed and made it to the bathroom to get some Tylenol for the mother of all headaches.

Did I pick up Bree last night? I wondered. I tried remembering what had happened last night. Most of the night was a blur, but I remembered thinking Bella was trying to steal Bree and then she gave her to me.

I walked into Bree's room and found her crib empty. I stood there for a second and then started to panic. Where the fuck is she? Then like a bolt of lightning hit me and I remembered.

"Shit!" I yelled. "I put her in the piano bench!" I ran through the apartment and into the living room. I threw open the top to the piano bench and found a baby in there with a diaper of course on backwards.

I picked her up and cursed again once I realized it was not a baby, but a doll. I threw the baby down and ran from the apartment and started beating on Bella's door.

Bella opened the door with wide eye's and said, "Well…uh, good….good afternoon, Edward."

"Is Bree here?" I shouted.

"Yes, she is in the living room." Bella said and her eyes looked me up and down yet again. "You, uh…you might want to go put some pants on before you come in."

I looked down and realized for the first time that I was completely stark naked. "Shit." I said and covered myself with my hands and started backing away slowly. "I, uh…yeah, I will be right back."

I turned and ran to my door before anyone else would see me. I knew I didn't make it when I heard cat calls behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Rose and Alice standing in the hallway saying, "Nice ass, Mr. Cullen."

I ignored them and ran into my apartment and into my bedroom and threw on a pair of pants and a t-shirt. After I stopped my heart from trying to beat out of my chest I slowly made my way back to Bella's door. This time I knocked more timidly.

Bella answered and smiled without making a comment about my previous naked visit, which I knew she wanted to. I followed Bella into the living room and froze dead when I saw the man sitting on the couch holding Bree.

"Dad, this is Edward. Edward this is my dad, Charlie." Bella introduced.

Most of the night was still a mystery but I do in fact remember almost getting a ticket for walking home. And the cop who had been pretty much playing with us was now sitting on Bella's couch holding my daughter. And of course the cop would be Bella's father. Fuck. My. Life.

**A/N: Did you really think I would give a drunken Edward a baby? Have more faith in me than that. Lol. Welcome Charlie to the story. Think him pulling the guy's over was a coincidence? Hmmm. Next chapter will be up within the week, I promise. Leave a review, it's quick and easy and I love them all.**


	11. Chapter 11: Meet My Father

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**Thank you all for the great reviews! I was blown away by the response to the last chapter! All of your reviews make me smile and laugh. Thank you to everyone who has put this story on alert and their favorite list!**

**I promised this chapter a few days ago, and I am very sorry it is late. But, I hope you're all thinking, better late then never. I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Chapter 11: Meet my Father**

**EPOV**

I stood there in the middle of the living room just staring at Bella's father, aka, the cop that stopped us just outside of the building. Why, oh why, did Bella's father have to be a cop, and mainly, this cop? I have the worse fucking luck. Ever.

"It's nice to meet you, Edward." Her father said with an amused smile which made his 70's style porn 'stach twitch.

It took a second to realize he was holding out his hand for me to shake and I was just standing there staring like a huge idiot. Finally I shook myself and rushed over to him to take his hand.

"It's nice to meet you too, Sir." I mumbled.

"Ah, none of that Sir crap, it's Charlie." He smiled.

I tried to smile at him, but I'm sure my face just looked like a creepy grimace. I settled, nervously, into the chair across from him. He was still holding Bree, which also was making me a little nervous.

Bella sat on the couch next to Charlie and laughed as she looked at me and could clearly tell I was uncomfortable.

"Why so nervous Edward?" Bella asked. "You already know my father don't you?"

Shit. Must be Charlie had already told her about all about stopping us last night while we were drunk.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "there is not much I remember about last night, but I clearly remember your father."

Charlie let a full belly laugh then said, "I am sorry if I scared you. It wasn't my idea. I have never pulled over people that were walking before."

Wasn't his idea? I narrowed my eyes at Bella and she held up her hands as if to surrender. "It wasn't me either."

I raised an eyebrow in her direction to say that I in fact did not believe her. She just smiled an innocent smile. As if on cue Alice came dancing into the room seeming very proud of herself.

"It wasn't her. It was me." Alice announced. Yes, she was very proud of herself.

"And me." Rose said walking in behind her. "We wanted to have some fun with Emmett and Jasper and you were just a casualty."

"It was fun." Charlie laughed.

"For you, maybe." I grumbled which caused them all to laugh louder.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Charlie said sincerely. "I just did what the girls asked me to."

"Don't worry about it." I said waving off his apology.

"So, this is your daughter?" He asked. I nodded. "She sure is a pretty little thing."

"Thank you." I answered. I looked toward Bella and said, "Thank you for not giving Bree to me last night."

"You think I would actually give a drunken guy a baby?"

"Do you know where that baby doll slept?" I asked. "The piano bench." I answered before she could.

Her face paled. "Edward, I swear I am getting rid of that damn thing. You a baby and a piano bench should never be in the same area at the same time."

"Like I said last night," Charlie mumbled. "Heaven help her."

I ignored his comment. After all I couldn't disagree with him. He was still holding Bree, who looked content sitting on his lap and trying to figure out what his mustache was. She was happy, healthy, and hadn't spent the night in a piano bench, so I was happy. Now I just wanted to sit in quiet and deal with the little men that were drilling the inside of my head.

The quiet did not last long at all. What seemed like seconds later the door crashed into the wall.

"Emmett, Jesus, be quiet." Jasper whispered harshly.

"I didn't do it purpose fuck nut." Emmett bellowed.

"Yeah, well…" I looked toward the two Neanderthals when Jaspers sentence cut off abruptly. I stifled a laugh when I realized they were both standing like statues staring at Charlie, who himself looked amused.

"Good morning, boys." Charlie said.

"Good morning, Sir." Emmett and Jasper said in unison. They still hadn't moved and looked extremely nervous. Actually, I'm sure I looked exactly the same when I came in.

"Jasper, Emmett, this is my father, Charlie." Bella said. "Dad, you already know Emmett and Jasper."

Emmett and Jasper quickly looked toward Alice and Rosalie. Apparently they didn't tell the girls that they had a run in with a cop.

"We know all about it." Alice said.

"Yeah, because we sent him." Rose stated.

Emmett and Jasper just looked confused. Rosalie ruffed at the ignorance and said, "We sent him to have some fun with you."

"Well, that's not cool at all." Emmett said. "And we will get you back." Rose just smirked and blew him a kiss.

"When did you leave?" Jasper asked Alice.

"About an hour after you got home. I am all for playing naughty nurse, but the second you started throwing up, I was out of there."

"That's real sensitive of you." Jasper deadpanned and then slouched on the couch next to me.

"Why did you leave?" Emmett asked Rosalie. "I don't remember throwing up."

"You didn't." She answered. "You passed out and took up the whole bed, so I came home."

Emmett sat down in the chair and Rosalie perched herself on his lap, he whimpered when she jostled him.

"God damn you're heavy Rose." Emmett said which earned him a smack to the back of the head. Emmett cried out in pain, which went straight to my head.

"Damn it, Emmett. Whisper." Jasper said.

"Ah, the morning after hangover." Charlie laughed. "That is one thing I don't miss about my younger days."

"I will make you guys my famous hangover cure lunch." Bella said then went into the kitchen to start whatever this concoction was. The thought of food just made me feel sick.

"So, what did you guys do last night?" Alice asked.

Emmett, Jasper, and I shared a look and I knew they were thinking the same thing I was….Paul.

"There isn't much I actually remember." Jasper answered.

"I tried to get Eddie laid, but he's such a stick in the mud, soap opera watching, stay at home dad now. He wouldn't even look at any woman." Emmett shook his head in shame.

"And, I'm sure you did." Rose said glaring at Emmett.

"No!" He shouted and all three of us flinched in pain at the noise. "I was just trying to help Edward out."

"Jasper thought he was shrinking." I blurted trying to get the attention off of me.

"You thought you were shrinking?" Alice asked.

"I do remember that. It was very scary." Jasper shuddered.

"Please explain." Alice said.

"Apparently I fell out of my chair."

"He was sitting on the floor saying he shrunk. It was so damn funny." Emmett laughed.

"Idiots." Alice mumbled and walked into the kitchen with Bella. Rosalie made a noise of agreement and joined the girls in the kitchen.

"Do you want to know what the scariest part of shrinking was?" Jasper asked. We all just stared at him and he continued. "All I kept thinking was that Alice would be bigger than me."

Charlie, who had been keeping quiet, snorted then started laughing. "That would definitely be a bad thing. All you have over that girl is your height. To lose that would be bad."

"Exactly!" Jasper said. "She can be very scary for such a little person."

Before we could continue our conversation, someone knocked on the door. We all just lazily looked towards the door, with no intentions of answering it.

"Bells!" Charlie yelled. "Someone is at your door."

"It's probably Jake." I said as Bella walked out of the kitchen.

"If he got as drunk as you all did than he is probably still sleeping." She said.

"Jake wasn't that bad. It was Sam that couldn't walk on his own." Emmett laughed.

"Oh, well than Leah probably killed Jake." Bella laughed as she walked to the door.

"Hey." we heard Bella say. "I'm glad you're here, there is someone I want you to meet."

"Meet who?" I froze as I heard his voice.

Bella came back into the living room dragging Paul behind her by the hand. He looked nervous when he saw us all sitting there. I guess he wasn't expecting us.

"Dad, this is my boyfriend Paul. Paul this is my dad, Charlie."

Charlie stood up and handed Bree to me then turned towards Paul.

"It is nice to meet you, Charlie." Paul said holding his hand out to Charlie.

"It's Sir, or Officer Swan." Charlie said taking Paul's hand. I saw Paul flinch at the force Charlie was gripping his hand.

"Yes, Sir." Paul said finally prying his hand from Charlie's.

I did notice that other than making Paul call him Sir, Charlie also never said it was nice to him. I couldn't help but love that. Charlie sat back down on the couch and just glared at Paul.

"So, what is it that you do for a living, Paul?" Charlie asked.

"I own my own business, Sir." He answered. By the look on Charlie's face, I could tell that I was not the only one that noticed Paul hadn't actually answered his question.

"And that is?" Charlie urged.

"I own and run a video and novelty store." Paul suddenly looked nervous and reluctant to answer.

"What exactly does that mean? I am a simple man, born and raised in a small country town. You have to dumb it down for me."

"It is an adult video store." Paul practically mumbled.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Charlie bellowed. "You own a porn store?"

Paul nodded. "I plan on making it a franchise and taking it world wide."

"And what a nice goal it is." Charlie mumbled. "Getting rich and famous off the fetish driven people of the world." I was trying to hide my laugh behind a small cough, even though Emmett and Jasper were openly laughing.

"Bella, please tell me you did not meet him at his place of business." Charlie said.

"God, no." Bella answered. "Jacob introduced us."

"Jacob and I are going to have a talk." Charlie said standing from the couch. "Oh, I would like you to meet my son-in-law, the porn king of the world. I don't fucking think so." He mumbled as he walked into the kitchen.

"So, you father seems, uh…interesting." Paul said to Bella.

"Don't mind him." Bella laughed. "He's always like that with guys I am dating. So, what are you doing here? I thought you worked today?"

"Alex is covering for me. I wanted to see you on my lunch break."

"Don't you have something to tell Bella?" I spoke up.

Paul glared at me. I smiled at him, which seemed to piss him off.

"What do you have to tell me?" Bella asked.

"It's nothing, really."

"I think it is a little more than nothing." I said.

"I would agree." Emmett said and Jasper nodded his agreement.

"What are you guys talking about?" Bella asked looking at everybody then back to Paul.

"We saw Paul last night and..." Jasper started but got cut off by Paul.

"I got out of my meeting early and stopped in the bar to get a drink before I went home. I ran into the guys there."

"You had a porn meeting?" Emmett laughed.

"There's more." I said.

Paul sighed. "I was telling the guys about a surprise I am working on for you." Paul shot me a look and said, "Do you really want to ruin that and see Bella _sad_ because of you?"

As much as I wanted Bella to know the truth about the scum bag standing in front of her, the thought of me telling her and causing her to be hurt was something I didn't want. I wanted to be there for her, to comfort her. Not to help destroy her.

"That's fine. But if I remember correctly, Jacob wants to be involved with your little surprise."

"I know I would like to be involved." Emmett said flexing his arm muscles to emphasis his threat.

"Are you all still drunk? None of you are making any sense." Bella said.

"Don't worry about it." Paul said. "I have to get back to the shop. I just wanted to come see you." Paul quickly grabbed up Bella and pressed his slimy lips to hers and looked at me while he did it, which made me want to vomit.

Charlie came back out of the kitchen. "The porn king is still here?"

"I'm actually heading back to work now." Paul said. It was clear he was trying to control his temper. 'Trying' being the key word. His voice was clipped and his hands were balled at his sides.

"You should." Charlie said. "There could be dildo emergency."

"I will see you later." Paul said to Bella. "It was nice to meet you, Sir." Charlie grumbled in response as he sat back down on the couch.

"_Boys_." Paul sneered.

"Dick." Jasper, Emmett, and I all said at the same time, which caused Charlie to laugh and Bella to glare.

"What the hell is wrong with you, dad?" Bella asked once Paul was gone.

"What?" Charlie asked innocently.

"You were extremely rude."

"Was I rude?" Charlie asked.

"Seemed like best behavior to me." I said. Emmett and Jasper agreed.

Bella huffed then stormed into the kitchen.

"Charlie, that was awesome." Emmett said.

"There is something not right about that guy." Charlie mumbled. I couldn't agree more.

Bella made an assortment of food that was basically fat, starch, and grease. But, it was delicious and it actually helped take some of the pain of the hangover away. After we were done eating I left Bree with Bella and went to my apartment to take a shower and put on some fresh clothes.

My phone was ringing when I stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out to the living room to answer it.

"Hello, mom." I answered it after looking at the caller ID.

"_Hello, Edward. I am calling to invite you all over to dinner tonight."_

"Sounds good, mom. What is the occasion?"

"_Is it weird for a mother to want to have a meal with her children and their girlfriends?"_

"No. But I'm sure you an ulterior motive." I laughed.

"_Well, in that case you would be right."_ She laughed. _"Most importantly I want to see my granddaughter. And secondly I think it is time we start to discuss Jessica's mother."_

I knew exactly what she was talking about. Even though I was nervous about it, Esme thought it was time we took Bree to meet her other grandmother.

"I agree, mom."

"_Good, then I will see you in a few hours. Make sure your brother's are coming. And bring Bella, because even though you haven't grown a pair and made her yours, I love her like she is."_

I was a little baffled by my own mother telling me haven't _grown a pair_.

"It's not that easy, mom. She has a boyfriend."

"_It could be that easy. Just tell her how you feel, because I know you, and I know you have not swallowed your pride and come right out and told her how much you like her."_

I didn't know what to say to that. She was right. I have not come right out and told Bella how much she means to me. I have flirted with her. Flirting comes natural; sharing feelings is a foreign concept. I knew I was out of my element just thinking about talking to Bella about how I was feeling. The thought of actually talking to her about it was making me a little sick to my stomach. Girls have always come to me; I have never had to work for one. Maybe the one that I actually had to work for was the only one that was worth the effort.

"_I thought that would leave you speechless."_ Esme laughed. _"Think it over and I will see you all tonight for dinner."_

"Oh, wait." I said quickly. "Bella might not be able to come. Her father is here visiting her."

"_So, bring him. I would love to meet him. See you in a little while."_

I hung up the phone and went into the bedroom to get dressed. After I was dressed I walked back to Bella's apartment.

"Mom invited us all to dinner tonight." I announced when I walked in the living room.

"All of us?" Emmett asked.

"That's what I said, stupid. You are invited too, Charlie. My mother said she would love to meet you."

"You are going to love her." Bella said. "Just don't piss her off when she is holding a rolling pin."

~/~/~/~/~/~ 

Esme was on the porch when we arrived. She was all smiles, especially when she took Bree from me.

"Esme, this is my dad, Charlie. Dad, this is Esme.

"It is nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Esme." She said. "It is nice meet you too. Come in." She ushered everyone into the house and then into the dining room, where we all took a seat.

"Carlisle was here and excited to meet you, Charlie, but he was called to the hospital for an emergency." Esme explained.

"I'm sure I will meet him next time." Charlie smiled.

Conversation flowed freely while we sat around the table waiting for dinner to finish cooking. Charlie and Esme told each other what they did for a living, and then shared horror stories of all of us as kids. That part was unpleasant.

Esme brought out several dishes of food and everyone started passing them around filling up their plates. Some more than other's. Emmett.

"Esme, talking about work has reminded me. I just found out about today that Bella's boyfriend owns his own porn shop." Charlie said disgusted.

"Oh, Bella. What do you need with a porn broker?" Esme asked. Emmett chocked on mashed potatoes.

"Mom, don't ever say that again." Emmett said once he could breathe again.

"Well, it's true." Esme said. "I don't think I have ever asked you what you do Bella. Please tell me it has nothing to do with porn."

"Kind of." Rose mumbled.

"She's only the best author, ever." Alice said proudly.

"Really?" Esme asked excitedly. "Have you published anything I might have heard of?"

Bella was shaking her head and Alice said, "Ever heard of the 'Night of Desire' series?"

"You wrote those?" Esme asked. Bella nodded sheepishly. "Oh, my God." Esme said and dropped her fork and ran from the room.

"I guess she has heard of them." Jasper said.

Before anyone could figure out why Esme had such a weird reaction of fleeing from the room, she ran back into the room carrying four books with her and dropped them on the table.

"This is my favorite series. I am head of the 'Night of Desire' book club in this area." Esme said excitedly. The fact that my mother was such a huge fan of…basically, written porn, was disturbing.

"I am glad you are a fan, and not offended by the material." Bella said. She physically relaxed after realizing that Esme was not offended.

"Offended? Hell, no! I have one of my favorite authors sitting at my table, in my house, eating my cooking. What a fucking honor."

"Holy shit, mom. Calm down." Jasper said.

"I'm sorry for my language. I am just so God damn excited!"

Charlie apparently couldn't help but laugh at the woman who was minutes ago all prim and proper and now suddenly going all fan girl over his daughter.

"Carlisle is a fan too." Esme said. "He has never read them, but he loves the nights that I read them." Esme then winked at Bella.

"Oh. My. God! You did not just say that!" Emmett yelled. "What the hell kind of dinner is this? First you talk about haunting nightmares of our childhood and now you plant a picture of our parents having sex in our minds. Is your goal to make us throw up? Or rack up a huge therapist bill?"

"Just hush and eat your peas." Esme waved Emmett off and turned her attention back to Bella. "Will you sign my books for me?" Esme asked.

"I would love to, Esme."

Esme, of course, squealed like a little girl at a vampire convention. "Why did you choose the pen name, Marie Swanson?"

"That's easy." Bella said. "In the olden days you got your last name by your father. Hence if you were John's son, you were known as Johnson." Bella pointed at her father and said, "Charlie Swan, even though I am not his _son_ I went with Swan-son. And Marie is my middle name. So, you get Marie Swanson."

Everyone starting talking. The girls were saying how interesting that was and the guys were saying it sounded complicated. All I could think was one thing which I stupidly asked out loud.

"So, you're rich?" I blurted.

Well that brought everyone to a screeching halt.

"That's inappropriate." Esme said.

"No, it's alright." Bella said. "I am not going to go bankrupt anytime soon, if you are worried about me."

"Does Paul know you are this big time author?" I asked. I saw Charlie's head snap up to lock his eyes on mine and knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yes, he does." Bella said then turned to Esme and changed the subject.

"What is going on in that head of yours?" Jasper whispered.

"I know what Paul's angle is to keeping Bella even though he's sleeping with other people." I said quietly. "He wants to franchise his store. He's gonna need money for that."

"Well, we are just going to have to get rid of him before that happens." I looked up in surprise to see it was Charlie who said that.

With six guys, one being a cop, against one scum bag. It should be easy to get rid of him, and away from Bella. There was just one thing I had to take care of first. And that one thing was what Bella and Esme were talking about.

"We need to go see Jessica's mom." Esme said.

Oh, fucking joy.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We are going to see Jessica's mom in the next chapter. The Paul situation will be dealt with soon, of course with Charlie's help. I will try to have the next chapter back on schedule and up by Saturday.**

**Leave a review…I love to hear your thoughts!**


	12. Chapter 12: Mother The Sequel

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! You are awesome and your reviews make me laugh! I appreciate every one of them. **

**Alright, with that said I have to address a review that wasn't so nice. I couldn't send a reply because it was anonymous. So, I'm going to address it here instead. To Laylalae, I'm sorry you hate my Bella. I don't really know what you hate about her, so I can't fix her. I take everybody's suggestions into consideration. Hell, that's why Bella ended up with Paul in the first place. Most people wanted to see Bella date and make Edward squirm. But, you wanting Edward to marry Jessica is just plain stupid. I mean, who sees a girl who lied to him for over nine months then leaves a baby in the hallway for anybody to take, as marriage material? I can't use anything you said. But, I did find your review **_**extremely**_** funny! So, thanks for the laugh. Even though you said you are going to stop reading because Edward won't marry Jessica is alright. We will miss you, but life goes on.**

**To everybody who is still reading, thank you for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy this chapter. People were asking for a BPOV to see where her head is, so that is where we are going to start.**

**Chapter 12: Mother The Sequel**

**BPOV**

Dinner at Esme's house had been interesting to say the least. Once I found out that Esme was actually a fan of mine, I was taken aback by that. I never took Esme for a smut filled cheesy romance reader, but her enthusiasm was flattering, and quite funny.

I was thrilled that Charlie got along so well with Esme. Once Carlisle got home, he and Charlie got along just as well. I couldn't be happier. Charlie's liking to Edward was odd. Charlie has always never liked any guys I associated myself with. Case in point, Paul. My dad was unfair to him and hated him right off the bat. I knew Charlie wouldn't care for him because I was dating him, but I think he acted a little more rude than what was granted.

I did however; understand Charlie's reaction to Paul. There was something off about him. I have never admitted that to anyone, but I have felt it since I first met him. I agreed to date him though, because it was nice to not be alone for awhile. I haven't dated in a few years and even though my sex life wasn't that long ago, the time frame is still laughable. And Alice and Rosalie like to bring it up as often as possible.

I knew that Edward liked me. Hell, it was a little hard _not_ to know when he was telling me every chance he got. In all honesty I liked him too. When I first met him I thought he was a bit of a womanizer. But, as I have watched him over the past few months with Bree, my views of him have changed significantly.

Edward is charming, funny, intelligent, successful, and absolutely adorable with Bree. To say that I didn't notice his looks would be just plain blasphemy. Edward is extremely good looking. Hell who am I kidding? Edward is plain sexy and the hottest guy I have ever seen.

As much as I like Edward I haven't pursued him because Edward has a lot going on right now with dealing with Bree, trying to find Jessica, and trying to work, which he's found difficult since Bree does not like when he plays the drums. I do not want to add to the stress he's under. So, for right now I will just be the friend he needs and help him with whatever I can.

Paul is just a place filler; I think we both know that. He's nice and attractive, but that's about where it ends. He owns a porn store, which I find weird, but I do plan on going there and doing some research for my next book. I will take Jake with me, he will love it. There is no long term future with Paul. Come on, I'm not stupid; I see how interested he is in my line of work. More interest then normal.

With keeping my promise to Edward and help him with what ever I can is what now leads me to sitting in the back of Esme's car heading to meet Jessica's mother. To say I was nervous was a fucking understatement. But, Edward needed me and for him I would swallow my nerves and help Edward through this.

"Hey, you alright over there?" Edward asked from the backseat with me. Edward stretched his arm across the backseat and rubbed my shoulder.

"I'm fine." I answered. "How are you doing?"

"Nervous as all hell." He laughed nervously.

"Everything will be fine." Esme said from the front seat. "This is the right thing to do."

"I know, mom. It's just nerve racking not knowing how she is going to take the news of Bree." He said looking down at Bree who was sitting between us.

"I don't know anybody who could not fall in love with that little girl from the first sight of her." Charlie stated from the passenger seat.

Edward insisted that Charlie ride along with us so that Charlie wouldn't be sitting around my apartment waiting for me. Charlie first said that he was fine staying behind saying that it was family business but Edward eventually talked him into going with us.

"So, what is this women like?" I asked Edward.

"I have only talked to her a few times, but she seems…insane."

We all laughed and hoped he was exaggerating.

Charlie let out a low whistle as we pulled into a huge wrap around driveway that was in front of a huge estate. The house was at least four stories and completely white. The front yard or front grounds -I don't know which you would call it- was completely covered in gardens. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I always though Carlisle and Esme's house was massive, but this house put their house to shame.

"This is weird." Edward mumbled.

"This house is impressive. I wouldn't say weird though." Esme said.

"No, it's not that." Edward said as we all climbed out of the car. "In the note Jessica left, she said she couldn't afford to support Bree. By the looks of this house, she comes from money."

We would all find out what was going on soon enough. We all walked up the steps of the house to the front door. There was a large velvet pull robe for the door bell, looking like something straight out of _Scooby Doo_. I stepped off of the doormat just incase the damn thing opened up, causing us all to fall through to the basement.

_I watch too many damn cartoons. _I thought to myself.

I had to laugh at myself as someone answered the door and the doormat and floor stayed intact.

"How may I help you?" The man asked. The man who I assumed was a butler was wearing a black suit jacket over a dress shirt, and jeans. I thought the jeans were an odd choice, but he pulled it off.

"We are here to see Wanda Stanley." Edward answered.

"Right this way." The man said as he led us through the house. The inside of the house was just as extravagant as the outside.

"Is Ms. Stanley expecting you?" He asked.

"No. This is kind of a surprise visit." Edward chuckled nervously. I could see the nerves practically rolling off of him like steam.

The butler led us into what appeared to be a huge ballroom turned into some sort of weird forest on one side. It had large artificial trees, rolled out grass and flowers; the wall was painted to look like the sky. There were lights and cameras around the room.

"What the hell kind of room is this?" Charlie mumbled in my ear.

"Oh, Garret, does this scenery look alright? Something about this tree is pissing me off…" The women standing in the middle of the fake forest stopped in the middle of her sentence as she saw us all standing there.

"It looks great ma'am." Garret said.

"Ugh…Garret, how many times do I have to tell you it is Wanda? Not ma'am, not Mr. Stanley, but Wanda."

"I'm sorry ma…Wanda."

"It's alright." She looked at all of us then back to Garrett. "Did I have an appointment today? I tell you these new pills are doing nothing. Old age is taking over anyways. I swear Garret; my mind is slipping more and more each day."

"No, Wanda. You have no appointments today."

"Oh, well great. I didn't think so. These new pills are great. My mind as sharp as a tack."

"That it is ma'am." Garrett turned towards us and bowed slightly then left out of the door we came through.

"You will have to excuse him." Wanda said. "I am trying to get him to act less like a damn butler, but as you see it's not going well. I tell him to lose the butler outfit and what does he do? He wears jeans. I guess it's a step, but not much. I mean, he's still wearing the shirt and jacket."

Wanda put the stuff she had in her hands down on a table near one of the cameras and waved us over to follower her. "Come, come. This is such a lovely visit. I don't usually get social visits ever sense my husband, _ex_-husband, left. But, it's lovely just the same."

Wanda led us into a sitting room off of the ballroom slash forest. She sat in a chair and waved for us to all sit as well.

"I guess we should start by my asking who you are." Wanda laughed. "Unless I already know you, then I'm sorry you will have to refresh my memory."

"Well, we have never met in person. I'm Edward Cullen; we have talked on the phone a few times." I could tell his nerves were only getting worse. I rubbed his lower back as I sat down next to him, to try to get him to calm a little bit.

"Oh, yes! Jessica's friend." She smiled. "My therapist told me I should pay you for your therapy. He said it was unorthodox, but it did the trick none the less. As that why you're here? To get paid?"

"Oh, no, ma'am." Edward said. "What therapy did I give you?"

"The wood chipper." She said and Edward laughed. We all looked at them both confused.

"My husband cheated on me, for years without my knowledge, and then left. I didn't take it very well. Not him leaving, I took that very well, good riddance fuck nut. But, I didn't know what in the world to do with his stuff. When Edward first called me I tried selling him my husbands stuff, and Edward suggested a wood chipper."

"I was only joking." Edward laughed.

"Joking or not, it was a great idea and probably the most fun I have ever had. The yard looked like it was covered in snow. Granted, the gardener was not happy. But I gave him my husband's collection of watches and he was whistling another tune."

I was surprised this woman could still breathe. Everything she said was said with enthusiasm and all in one breath. Wanda was attractive; she looked to be about in her mid forties, with long chestnut curly hair, and light sparkling green eyes. I was worried about what her daughter looked like.

"You have a very beautiful home, Ms. Stanley." I stated.

"Oh, thank you and it's Wanda, Wanda Reynolds. I am in the process of going back to my maiden name." She smiled. "This was all my husbands doing. He felt he needed to live large since I had the money. I wanted something quaint and homey. After he left, he wanted it all, but I told him to go pound salt. This was all bought with my money and since I was smart and made him sign a pre-nup, he didn't get a damn thing."

"What is the forest for? It was quite beautiful." Esme said.

"Oh, that headache is for a photo shoot." Wanda said. "I decorate the room depending on my client's request." Suddenly her name clicked in my brain.

"You're Wanda Reynolds." I said excitedly.

"Yes, that's what I said." Even though I wasn't just trying to state the obvious, her comment made me feel like an idiot.

"No, I meant you're Wanda Reynolds, the world renowned photographer."

"I don't know if I would say world renown." She laughed. "But, I do frequently photograph celebrities, like Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony, who the forest scene is for." Wanda suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth. "I shouldn't have told you that. But, I guess as long as I don't tell you they will be here tomorrow, it is fine."

I covered a laugh with a cough. She seemed extremely nice, but not 100% there. The way Charlie looked at me he agreed or he could tell I was laughing and thought I was being rude. It could go either way.

"Well, if you are here about Jessica, I still haven't heard from her." Wanda said to Edward.

Edward became tense again as he cleared his throat and said, "Um, no, I actually came here to see you."

"Well, honey you're very attractive, but I think I might be a little old for you."

"What? Oh, no, no." Edward said. "I wanted to talk to you about Jessica."

Edward launched into the story of him and Jessica being neighbors and friends, the relationship they had -leaving out most of the gory details- to the result of Bree and how he found her on his doorstep with just a note.

"I am a grandmother?" She asked. Edward nodded and pointed down to Bree who was sitting at his feet in her car seat.

"But…I'm only forty-two. I can't be a grandmother."

"I'm only forty- five and I'm a grandmother." Esme laughed.

"Well, you are a stunningly beautiful grandmother." Wanda laughed. "Can you excuse me for a second?" We all nodded and Wanda quickly excited the room.

"Do you think she will come back?" Edward asked.

"I think she just needs a second to let this sink in." Esme said.

"Yeah, this can't be easy for her." Charlie said. "Her husband just left her, which she's clearly not over. Her daughter is M.I.A, and now she finds out she has a granddaughter."

"Well, her therapist is going to get more business." I laughed. Edward chuckled and Charlie glared at me.

Suddenly we heard a loud crashing noise coming from the room that Wanda disappeared through, followed by a strangled scream then lots of profanity. "I wish my no good ungrateful daughter was here right now. I would hang her ass from this ugly tree." There was another crash. "It's pretty damn sad when I become the sanest person in this family."

"Between Esme and Wanda, I would get Bree in to anger management now just incase it's hereditary." I laughed.

After a few seconds of silence from the other room, Wanda came walking back into the room. "I'm sorry about that. Can I…Uh, can I hold her?" Wanda asked looking down at Bree.

"Yes, of course." Edward said leaning down to get Bree out of her car seat.

Wanda walked over to a cabinet and started pulling stuff out of it. I watched her curiously as she started putting on what looked like a hospital gown. I noticed everyone was watching her curiously as she pulled on a pain of rubber gloves and a face mask. She looked like she was about to perform surgery.

"Are you sick?" Edward asked.

"No." Wanda answered. "Oh geeze, are you sick?"

"Uh, no." Edward answered confused as Wanda sat back down in her chair. "I just thought maybe you were since you are slightly dressed like a doctor."

_Slightly? She looks like she's about to perform open heart surgery._

"Oh, I just have a little issue about germs."

_Maybe we just hit on the reason her husband left?_

Edward hesitantly handed Bree to Wanda. I knew he was nervous other then her get-up and the fact she might have just destroyed a whole room, but this was Bree's other grandmother and he had been a nervous wreck about telling her.

"She's so pretty." Wanda whispered. "My daughter is so stupid. I am so sorry that she didn't tell you about her sooner, Edward. I'm sorry she didn't tell any of us."

"It's not your fault." Edward said. "What's done is done. Now we just have to move on."

Edward visibly relaxed as he watched Wanda except Bree. Charlie leaned into Wanda and was talking to her so no one could hear him. Somehow he talked her into taking off the facemask and gloves. I guess if my dad could talk desperate men down from ledges than talking a woman into taking off a face mask might not be so hard.

"I still think we are too young to be grandmothers." Wanda said to Esme. "Maybe we should be called the grandest of mothers, or mother the sequel."

"You should come over to my house some night for dinner. My husband and I would love to get to know you better." Esme said.

"I would love to." Wanda said. "But, I haven't actually left my house in a few…years."

_A few years? This woman has some serious problems going on._

"Well, maybe it's time you found a reason to leave the house." Charlie smiled at her. I furrowed my brows wondering what the hell that meant.

"Maybe it is." She smiled at Charlie.

"I think you should get out there and show your _ex_-husband what a mistake he made. I mean, if you need help, I'm just a phone call away."

_OH. MY. GOD! Is my father hitting on her?_ I began squirming on the couch next to Edward as I became uncomfortable witnessing my father put the moves on this woman. There are two things you never want to see your parents doing. One, is having sex. Two, watching your parents flirt. They are both gross and just as life shattering. Therapy here I come.

"That would be great, Charlie." Wanda said breathy. I wanted to vomit.

After sitting and talking for a little while, Edward gave Wanda his and Esme's address telling her to come visit anytime. Charlie also gave her his address and phone number, which made me a little uneasy. We decided it was time to leave and Wanda led us back through the house to the front door.

We stopped in the ballroom that was her photo studio to see Garrett looking at the tree that looked like it had been mauled by a bear.

"Ma'am?" He asked pointing to the tree.

"Yeah, about that." Wanda said looking embarrassed. "Can you call the carpenter for me and let him know I had a little mishap with the tree?"

Well, the tree may have been killed, but at least it didn't meet the wood chipper.

Once we were in the car pulling out of the driveway I finally asked what had been bugging me for the past hour, "What the hell was that, dad?"

"What was what?" He asked looking out the window.

"Don't play dumb." I said. "You were totally hitting on her."

"I was not." Charlie mumbled.

"I have to agree with Bella. You were hitting on her." Edward laughed and Esme nodded in agreement.

"Oh, all of you shut up." Charlie sighed. "I'm divorced not dead. She is nice, and successful, and has had a bad time recently, and she's attractive. You can just deal with it, Bella."

"I didn't say she wasn't attractive." I said. "But she's kind of, how do I say this nicely…bat shit crazy."

"At least she doesn't own a porn shop." He mumbled.

I chose to ignore that comment and sighed, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the head rest.

No matter what my dad chose, all I wanted was for him to be happy. I just hoped none of his stuff ever met a wood chipper.

**EPOV**

Meeting Wanda had been the most nerve racking thing I have ever done. She seemed a tad on the insane side, but she was nice just the same. And she accepted Bree, which I couldn't be more happy about.

My mother seemed to have made a friend, and Charlie seemed to have made more than a friend. Even though Bella wasn't too thrilled about that part.

Now we were on to the more thrilling part of my day. Our plan to take down Paul. Me, Charlie, Jasper, Emmett, and Sam are all crammed in Charlie's police cruiser heading to find Paul's store. I said it was alright to take my car, but Charlie said it be more entertaining to use his cruiser. We all thought it was a funny idea and just went with it.

Jake was beyond pissed when he found out that Paul didn't confess to Bella about his cheating ways when he had the chance, so he said he was going to help in any way he could. Plus, Charlie said Jake owed him for setting his baby girl up with that dildo peddling douche -Charlie's words, not mine- and Jake agreed it was a mistake.

"So what is the plan?" Emmett asked.

"Well, Jake is keeping Bella busy." Charlie said. "And Leah is in the store right now, scoping it out to see if Paul is there. When she gives us the all clear then we are going to go in and take a look around."

"Then we are just basically going to wing it from there." I laughed.

Charlie pulled up to a curb and parked after Sam pointed out the store.

"Adult Adventures." Charlie said looking at the store front across the street. "That's a classy name." We all laughed in agreement.

Sam's phone started ringing as; who I assumed was Leah, walked out of the store with a phone to her ear.

"Hey, baby." Sam answered. "Alright…Thank you….I will see you at home…I will let him know….I promise I will stay out of trouble, plus I'm with a cop, how much trouble can I get in…love you too, bye."

Sam turned to Charlie and said, "Leah said Paul is nowhere in sight, only his brother Alex is working. And she says you owe her because it was disgusting being in there."

Charlie laughed then said, "I will pay her back. Alright guys, lets go."

We all climbed out of the cruiser, well after Charlie let me, Jasper, and Emmett out of the back seat. I'm sure being incarcerated isn't fun, but having a chauffer is kind of cool.

I didn't know if us all walking in together was a good idea. Five guys all walking in together might seem a little weird. But we did anyways; at least we weren't holding hands, which Emmett had suggested.

We walked around the store, Charlie grumbling the whole time about vibrators, blowup dolls, anything feathery, gels and creams. His ranting to himself was quite comical.

"Alright, there is a door hidden behind that doll dressed in leather." Charlie said. "Sam I want you to go ask that guy behind the counter to help you with bachelor party ideas. While you have him distracted we are going to go see what's beyond that door."

"It's probably just a stock room." Jasper said.

"Maybe." Charlie said. "But, it doesn't have an employee's only sign."

We waited as Sam walked up to the counted and started talking to Paul's double, Alex. Alex took Sam over to an isle that held all the party favors. Once Sam was engaging him, we quickly turned and slipped quietly through the door.

We walked door a short flight of stairs and reached the basement floor. What I saw had me cemented in one spot with wide eyes and an open mouth. Emmett looked the same as I did and Jasper looked like he was about to throw up.

"What. The. Fuck." Charlie said disbelievingly. "Is this some sort of fucking freak fest?"

All I knew was this was definitely not a stock room.

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun…what do you think they found?** **Leave a review and let me know what you think they found. **

**The next update will be up within the week. I will see you then!**


	13. Chapter 13: Busted

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews. A lot of them made me laugh! As for your guesses as to what was in the room…most of you were pretty close. A couple guesses made me queasy. Lol. I was going to start this chapter where the last ended and go right into the room, but I thought…were the hell is the fun in that? So we are starting in Bella's POV. Because, well it's fun for me…and I like to keep you guessing. I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 13: Busted**

**BPOV**

After we left Wanda's house, we drove to Esme's house and left her and Bree there. We got into Edward's car and drove back home. Once we got back all the guys were waiting in my apartment looking…impatient?

When I say all the guys, I mean all. Even Jacob and Sam were there. Normally that wouldn't be odd, but the way they jumped up excitedly when we walked in was most definitely odd.

"What's going on guys?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing." They all said in unison.

_Yes, definitely odd._ I thought to myself.

"Okay." I mumbled.

"We were just waiting on Edward and Charlie because we are going to go down to the sports bar to watch the game." Emmett said. "You know, manly stuff."

"Oh, that sounds fun." I said. "Who's playing?"

"Nicks."

"Dolphins."

"Yankees"

"Tiger Woods."

I just stared at them as they all spoke at once. "That's four different sports." I said. I wasn't a huge sports know it all, or even a fan, but I at least knew the different team names and games and they just said football, baseball, basketball, and golf.

"Well, it's kind of like a sports free for all today." Emmett said.

"But, those sports don't even play at the same time do they?" I asked confused. "Doesn't each sport have its own season?"

"It's a sports bar. Just don't question it. Men stuff just doesn't make sense" Jasper said.

"Okay." I said slowly.

"I hope you don't mind, but I told them I would go with them." Charlie said. "But, we won't be gone to long and then we can go to dinner tonight."

"No, that's fine, dad." I said. "Go have fun."

"Good, let's go." Emmett shouted and all the guys ran out the door.

"I will see you in a bit." Charlie said as he exited the apartment. "Could you guys be anymore obvious?" I heard him say from the hallway.

I turned around shaking my head and jumped slightly to see Jacob still sitting there. "Aren't you going with them?"

"I'm gay, Bella." Jake laughed. "I don't do the manly sports thing."

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes. "You have the title, and you enjoy cock, but that is where the stereotypes stop with you."

"Is it so bad that I want to spend some time with my best friend?" He asked.

"No, but I find it weird that you are willing to skip out on a guys day out. And I think you are all acting odd."

"Egh…the words _guys_ and _weird_ just belong together." He said while he flipped through the channels on the TV.

I went into my room and grabbed my laptop, figuring that since it was quiet for a little while I might be able to get some work done. I sat down on the couch, pulling my feet up under me. As I waited for my computer to start up I looked at the television to see what Jake had put on.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously.

"What?" Jake asked turning to look at me.

"You are watching a football game!" I exclaimed, waving my hands at the television.

"Yes, but I am watching it with you." He smiled showing off his overly white teeth.

I groaned at Jake and looked at the last of what I had written; trying to figure out what was going to come next.

"_We can't be together." Hillary whispered as she lay in her bed looking up into the blue eyes of the man that she had come to love, heart and soul._

"_We can't be together forever, but we can be together tonight." Nicholas said as he lowered himself over her. He leaned his head down towards her lips and kissed her passionately. Moving from her lips to her ear he whispered, "Don't think, just feel." Then he took ear lobe in his mouth sucking lightly, causing Hillary to moan slightly._

_Nicholas moves down Hillary's body slowly, kissing a trail to her ankle, skimming his hands down the sides of her body, causing her nipples to pucker as his fingers traced the sides of her breasts. Nicholas lifted her leg and licked a trail from her ankle up to her creamy thigh, stopping just before he got to where Hillary desperately wanted him._

_Hillary whimpered as Nicholas pulled away. He smiled a sexy smirk as said, "I have something special for you."_

_Hillary watched as Nicholas pulled a bag onto the bed and started pulling items out of it. He pulled out lotions and oils and set them on the bed next to her. He reached into the bag again and with a gleam in his eye he pulled out…_

"He pulled out what?" I blurted.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jake asked furrowing his brows.

"Oh, this story I'm working on." I said running my hand through my hair in aggravation. "I am stuck in a spot. It needs something, but I'm not sure what."

As I sat there thinking about what the hell was in that bag, a thought suddenly stuck.

"Wanna get out of here?" I asked Jake as I shut my computer off.

"Go where?" Jake asked without taking his eyes off the football game.

_Uh-huh, don't like sports my ass._

"Shopping." I said than mumbled, "Porn."

_That _caught his attention. He whipped his head towards me and said, "_Porn_?"

"Yes, I need some new idea's for this story I am writing."

"How kinky is this story?" He laughed.

"Well, I am trying to make it a now a day's form of _Romeo and Juliet_, with some kink." I laughed using his word. "But, I am sort of out of my element when it comes to all the sex toys and things like that." I could feel my face heating up just speaking the words.

"Look at your face!" Jake laughed. "How are you going to go in a store that sells sex toys when you can't even say the word?"

"I just will." I said as I slipped my shoes on. "Are you coming?"

"Yuck, I don't want to go in a porn shop."

"Oh, puh-lease!" I laughed. "I have seen inside your treasure trove that you call your pleasure chest! Hell, it says Kink-Master right on the side of it!"

"Okay, well you got me there." He said. "But, let's watch the game first."

"I am going with you or without you." I said as I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.

"Damn it, Bella." Jake groaned and followed me out the door after shutting off his precious football game.

"Don't look so glum." I laughed. "This is going to be fun." I said as I drove down the street.

"Yeah, I don't think it's such a good idea." He mumbled as he sunk down in his seat.

"Well when I was thinking about going there, you were the only person I could think to go with." I laughed. "I mean after all…you are the Kink Master."

Jake rolled his eyes and looked out the window with his arms folded over his chest.

I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Usually when you mentioned porn or anything sexual for that matter, Jake was busting at the seams. Literally and figuratively.

I pulled into the parking lot of the store and hopped out. I wondered where the sports bar was at because I saw Charlie's cruiser parked across the street, alone with a few other police cars.

I was planning for this trip to be quick and then I would take Jake to the bar and buy him a drink as a thank you. Or better yet give him some money to buy a drink and just send him to the bar. Then I would be paying him back for going with me and not disrupting there male bonding time.

Maybe he would be in a better mood if he could watch the rest of his football game. Who knows, maybe he has male PMS. I know that shit is real!

"Let's get this over with." Jake said as his threw his arm around me and walked into the store with me tucked under his arm.

I was nervous about being seen in the store. I was wondering what the hell was happening once we walked in and Alex was standing at the register talking with a police officer. I thought it was weird that a police officer would buy porn while in his uniform. _Hmm…maybe the uniform is a getup for sexual purposes. _I was brought out of my internal thinking once I heard shouting coming from the back of the store.

"I don't give a shit what you say. You are under arrest!"

"That's my dad!" I said to Jake and turned to run towards where I heard the noise coming from.

I saw the open door and walked down the stairs and stared opened mouthed as I looked around me. I hardly noticed that all the guys were there and a slew of cops.

"Bella." Edward whispered. I didn't turn to look at him because I couldn't take my eyes off of the sight that was Paul, in handcuffs held by my father, standing in front of me.

**EPOV**

"What. The. Fuck." Charlie said disbelievingly. "Is this some sort of fucking freak fest?"

"Say that three times fast." Emmett said.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked around the room. It looked like some sort of dungeon. And the smell was horrific. There were about fifteen people chained to the walls around the room. But what was the most disturbing was Paul, standing in the middle of the room wearing a barely there leather outfit, what looked to be a studded dog collar, and beating some person who was hanging in front of him by their hands.

"Drop the weapon!" Charlie shouted just as Paul was about the whip the person again across the back.

Paul, who hadn't heard us enter, spun around to face us. "What the hell are you doing in here?" He shouted. "You are not allowed down here."

"I think the better question is what the hell do you think you are doing?" Charlie said, fuming. "I said drop the…what the hell is that thing?"

Paul looked down at the _thing_ in his hand then back up to Charlie and said, "It's a riding crop."

"Oh, that's just nasty." Jasper gagged.

"Drop it." Charlie demanded. He grabbed Paul by the arm after he dropped the crop and threw Paul into the wall.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Paul said as Charlie had him pressed into the wall. "I am doing nothing illegal."

"Oh, that's just wrong." Emmett said.

I turned to see what Emmett was talking about and could not contain the laugh that burst from my mouth. Paul's leather pants were completely ass-less, and he was not wearing anything under them.

Jasper looked and groaned, holding his stomach and squeezing his eye's shut.

"What the hell is this place?" Charlie asked.

"It's a dominatrix training camp." Paul said. "It's totally legit, so get the fuck off of me."

"I will be honest and say, I don't know much about dominatrix, but I'm pretty sure chaining people to the walls is considered imprisonment, and highly illegal. And I'm sure beating the fuck out people is considered _beating the fuck out of people._ And also highly illegal."

"It is not illegal." Paul barked. "And these people want to be here. Hell, they are paying to be here."

"You stay!" Charlie yelled at Paul. "Let's get these people unchained."

We all headed around the room to get people off the wall. Charlie took out his cell phone and called the area police. Since he's the Sherriff in Forks and not here, he can't actually arrest anybody. Plus Charlie had said he was friends with the Sherriff here, and knew the police would come quickly if he had to call.

"Is this guy still alive?" Charlie asked pointing to the person who was still hanging in the middle of the room. It was definitely a guy, since he wasn't wearing a shirt and he had no breasts. His head was down and he had a bag covering his head. His bare back was dripping blood, and he hadn't moved the entire time we were down here.

"Yeah, his chest is moving a little." Emmett said, looking the guy over. "Oh, God, this guy is covered in puke."

"That explains the smell." Jasper gagged, yet again.

Paul started snickering from behind us.

"You find it funny he has thrown up all over himself?" Charlie asked harshly.

"Some guys just don't have the heart for this life style." Paul laughed.

_Sick fuck._

"Get him down, Emmett." Charlie ordered. "I will help you."

Charlie held the guy while Emmett untied his hands. They lowered him down to the floor and laid him on his stomach since his back was bleeding all over the place.

"Is it normal for this much blood?" Emmett asked. "I have done some light spanking in my day, but this is whole other level."

"I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to bleed." Charlie said. "This is just plain torture."

I was taking the chains off of a girl who was small, and didn't even look like she was of legal age. She was shivering, I didn't know if she was cold or if it was from fear. I grabbed a blanket and threw it around her shoulders.

"There you go." I said. "That should help. We will get you out of here soon."

I could see her lips were moving slightly. "What?" I asked and moved closer so I could hear her.

"Safe word." She whispered. "He kept saying his safe word."

"A safe word?" I asked.

"A safe word is a word they choose to say when the pain gets to be too much and they want to stop." Charlie explained.

Emmett, Jasper, and I all just stared at Charlie.

"You know, you said you don't know much about this. But you seem to know quite a bit." I smiled.

"Yeah, Charlie." Emmett agreed. "Something you want to share with us? Like a secret lifestyle perhaps?"

"No, no secret lifestyle to report of." Charlie said as he let the last person free from the wall. "When Bella wrote her first book she did some research on dominatrix. I helped her with it, so I know some things."

"Uh-huh." I chuckled.

"What was the safe word, Paul?" Charlie growled.

Paul ignored Charlie and just looked at the floor while leaning on the wall.

"Pussy willow." The small girl whispered, causing Paul to growl at her.

"That's gay." Emmett said.

"No, it's demeaning." Charlie said infuriated. "He's basically making them say they are pussies if they can't take the pain."

"I say we string you up and see how much pain you can take, bitch." Emmett hissed at Paul, taking a step towards him.

Suddenly Paul pushed off the wall and bolted towards the door. Emmett caught him quickly and jumped on his back, throwing them both to the floor.

"Oh, gross. I touched his butt." Emmett yelled as he pulled Paul to stand.

We all stopped our laughing at Emmett as we heard foot steps on the stairs.

"What the fuck we got going on down here?" The cop said as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked around the room in disgust then pulled out his handcuffs walking over to Paul, who was being held by Emmett.

"I take it this is him." He said. "Nice pants, son." He cuffed Paul then hauled him over to Charlie. "There are more police on their way as well as an ambulance."

"Thanks, Billy" Charlie said. "Guy's this is Billy Black, Jake's dad."

"Hey." We all said in unison.

Billy looked around some more and looked at the guy who was still unconscious on the floor. "This is sick. And what the fuck is that smell?" He gagged at the end of his sentence. I guess his stomach was just as weak as Jasper's, who was looking a little green and had his shirt pulled up over his face.

"I am going to go question the guy working upstairs." Billy said, and then practically ran out of the room.

"Do people really do this stuff?" Jasper asked. "Alice and I have done some kinky shit, but this is just…just…_wrong_!"

"It is supposed to bring pleasure." Charlie said. "If you do it right. This is like you said, 'wrong'."

Moments later a handful of police came walking into the dungeon/torture room. They were followed by paramedic's who quickly started assessing people.

Paul started struggling against Charlie's hold. "Damn it!" Paul yelled. "I did nothing wrong. I want to leave, now!"

"I don't give a shit what you say. You are under arrest!" Charlie screamed.

There was running on the stairs and then I saw the one person who I did not want to see this.

"Bella." I whispered.

Bella stood there with Jake right behind her. She was staring directly at Paul.

"Nice job, Jacob." Charlie hissed.

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Jake said. "She said she was coming here with or without me. I figured _with_, would be much better."

"Is that you guys do on your guys day out?" Bella asked. "Because I have to tell you, this is disturbing. And it smells like shit in here." As if on cue, Jasper gagged again, proving her right.

"Let's talk about this upstairs." I said to Bella and grabbed her arm, hoping she would go with me.

Bella brushed me off and walked up to Paul. "You actually thought I was going to give you money to fund this?" She said throwing her arms around. "This is sick. And you are a disgusting fuck. I hope you enjoy being Bubba's bitch in prison."

With that, Bella swung around to face me and said, "Let's go."

I followed Bella up the stares and into the shop. Jake, Emmett, and Jasper all came up behind us. Jasper quickly made his way outside saying he needed fresh air.

"Hey, dad." Jake said to Billy who was talking to Alex and Sam.

"Hey, Jake." Billy said then wrapped an around Bella. "How are you doing, Bells?"

"I'm fine. I knew there was something wrong with him. I just didn't know it was that bad." Bella laughed slightly.

"You need better taste in men." Billy joked.

"Well, you know I like tall, dark, and handsome, but I have the wrong equipment for them." Bella laughed.

Jake slapped Bella in the arm and called her a bitch, laughing. Apparently Billy was alright with Jake being gay, or else he wouldn't have found that joke funny. But he did.

Just as we were saying good-bye to Billy and about to leave the store, Paul was being hauled out of the basement by a police officer.

"He's not happy." Charlie chuckled as he made his way over to us.

"You can't take me outside like this!" Paul yelled.

"I can and I will." The cop who had a hold of him said. "I am not giving you my pants, so you're going in what you are wearing."

Bella laughed as she saw the back of Paul's pants. "Bubba's is going to love you in those pants, Paul." She said.

After the store cleared out again we made our way outside and headed home.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked Bella as everyone was going into her apartment.

"Rosie, we are throwing out our handcuffs." We heard Emmett saying as Bella shut the apartment door leaving us alone in the hallway.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah." She sighed leaning against the wall. "I knew me and Paul wouldn't last long, but to end like that was unexpected."

"He was a jerk." I said moving a step closer to her. "You deserve someone better."

"I know." She whispered.

"I was thinking that maybe tomorrow you and I could take Bree to the park." I suggested.

"That sounds perfect after a day like today." She smiled.

Without realizing I had done it, I had moved again and was standing within a few inches of Bella. I could smell the vanilla body lotion she was wearing. I was almost brought to my knees when her tongue poked out and wet her lips. I hadn't even realized I was staring at her mouth, but I had the sudden urge to taste her lips.

I leaned into her, putting my hands on her hips. I hoped she didn't think I was just taking advantage of the fact that she had just broken up with Paul. But I lost all thought as her eyes fluttered shut and she fisted my shirt pulling me closer. Her breath fanned across my face just as I was about to claim her lips with mine.

"Hey, Bell…" Charlie said coming out of the apartment.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch." I hissed quietly and stepped back from Bella.

"Oh…uh…crap." Charlie stuttered looking nervous. "I, uh…I didn't mean to, uh… interrupt anything."

"It's ok, dad. What'd you need?" Bella asked.

"Oh, uh, I told Billy we would meet up with him and Jake for dinner tonight. If you're up for it."

"Yeah, that sounds good, dad." Bella answered. She turned to me and said, "I will see you tomorrow." Then she followed Charlie down the hallway.

Charlie looked back over his shoulder and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. I waved him off and walked into the apartment.

My fucking luck never changes.

**A/N: Everyone give Paul a hand as he takes his final bow and leaves the story. He would like to thank you for all the loving reviews that were directed at him. Nah, he didn't get any that were loving, more like hate mail, but Paul wouldn't have it any other way.**

**Now that we got the Paul situation to its end we are going to go back to the original plot. So for everyone who can't get enough of Edward the lovable daddy, he will be back in the next chapter!**

**Leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14: Play Date

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**SURPRISE…an extra update! I figured since today is my birthday I would give you all an extra update. 1 because you are all so awesome and 2 because you all asked (begged) nicely. Thank you all for the reviews! Here's daddy Edward everyone was looking forward to. I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 14: Play date**

**EPOV**

I woke up before Bree had a chance to wake me up. This was a rare occurrence. I looked towards the window to see the early morning sun was shining brightly. I smiled at the nice weather. Today, nothing could ruin my day. Today I was taking Bella and Bree to the park, just the three of us, nobody else, no boyfriends complicating things, no worries at all. At least not for today.

I rolled out of bed whistling, grabbed my clothes from the closet and went to the bathroom to take a shower before Bree woke up. Bree's schedule was usually like clock work so I knew I had a good hour before she would be up. I took my time in the warm shower and then dressed before heading to Bree's bedroom.

"Good morning, baby girl." I said to Bree as she lay in her crib smiling up at me. We are going to have a great day today."

I picked Bree up and kissed the top of her head. "We are going to go to the park. Doesn't that sound fun?" She smiled which caused my smile to widen.

"Yeah, I knew you would like that idea." I laughed. I walked to her closet with her on my hip. "We have to find you something cute to wear." I said as I dug through her closet. I picked her out a pair of jeans with butterflies on them and a t-shirt that said 'If you think I'm cute…you should see my daddy', which Bella had bought for her.

After Bree was fed and dressed, I turned the radio on and I was dancing around the living room with Bree. Bree was laughing as we twirled around in circles.

"What's got you in such a good mood?"

I turned, startled, and found Jasper and Emmett standing in the living room behind us.

"I'm always in a good mood." I smiled and turned the radio off.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to say no, as of late you are usually a downer." Jasper said.

"I agree." Emmett said. "The past month all we have heard about is, Bella is with Paul, Bella shouldn't be with Paul, Paul's an asshole, Bella deserves better, Bella, Bella, Bella."

"I don't sound like that." I disagreed as I sat down on the couch.

"Oh, I beg to disagree." Emmett laughed.

"Whatever." I said rolling my eyes. "It's a nice day out today. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping. Can't I just be in a good mood because of that?"

"Yeah, okay, Marry Poppins." Jasper said.

"What guy is put in a good mood because the birds are chirping?" Emmett asked.

"Jake." We all said at the same time, and then laughed.

"So, do you have plans today?" Jasper asked.

"We are going to the park." I answered.

"Who's we?" Emmett asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Me and Bree…and Bella." I mumbled the last name.

"OOOOOH!" Emmett and Jasper both said at the same time.

"Now, we get to the cause of the good mood." Jasper laughed.

"Are you going to chase her around the playground?" Emmett asked. "Try to look up her dress under the monkey bars? Steal a kiss by the slide then run away?"

"Are you guys here for a reason?" I sighed.

Emmett and Jasper both laughed. "Yeah, we came over to harass you." Emmett said.

"Well, mission accomplished." I said. "You can go now."

Jasper and Emmett laughed as they made their way to the door. "Have fun on your play date." Emmett yelled.

_Hmmm…A play date sounded like it could be interesting…just me and Bella…no clothes…whipped cream._

I was brought out of my fantasy by them both laughing as Jasper made kissing noises as they went out the door.

_Immature,_ I thought. But they still couldn't ruin my day.

"Nope, it's still a good day." I smiled at Bree.

I packed up Bree's diaper bag and stuffed it in the bottom of her stroller. I set Bree in the stroller and strapped her in and then, pushing the stroller, we made our way to Bella's apartment.

I knocked and waited for less than three seconds before the door opened. Bella smiled at me as she walked out into the hallway, with Charlie hot on her heels. For a second I worried that since Paul was out of the picture he would move his hate for Paul on to me.

Now being a father to a little girl, I understood every father that hated seeing me on their doorstep looking for their daughter. I hated those father's then…I admire them now.

But, my worries were squashed as soon as Charlie saw me standing there. He kissed Bree on the head, winked at me and said, "Have fun at the park."

"Are you sure you're alright with me taking off for the day?" Bella asked him.

"No, no. You go have fun. Don't worry about me." Charlie said, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I, uh…I got some…I got something to do. So, I won't be here anyways."

"What do you have to do?" Bella asked.

"Oh, uh…I, uh…nothing important." Charlie stuttered. "I will be back later. You kids have fun. Okay bye." She said all in a rush and then practically ran down the hallway to get away.

"That was weird." I snickered.

"You ain't kidding." Bella said furrowing her eyebrows as she watched Charlie's retreating back disappearing down the hallway. She turned towards me once he was gone and said, "He showered, put on his nicest clothes, and cologne. For him that is very odd."

"Sounds like there is a woman involved." I said. Without thinking I added, "Wanda."

"Ugh." Bella sighed. "Wanda is a little crazy, but she's a nice person. I want nothing more than my dad to be happy…but the thought of him actually being with her any anybody for that matter, is just…gross."

I couldn't help but laugh at her. By the look on her face, she didn't appreciate my laughing at her. But of course, that only made me laugh harder.

"Hey, maybe he just wants to be Bree's grandfather, and there are only two ways for that to happen. Marry Wanda." Before I thought it through I blurted, "Or you marry me."

Bella laughed and then said, "We are just going to the park, right?"

"Today, yes." I smiled. "A church another day."

Bella closed up her apartment and we started walking down the hallway. "We are walking there, right?"

"Yeah." I answered.

Her face suddenly brightened and started bouncing up and dawn. "You should use the Baby Bjorn."

"Huh?"

"That thing I bought you that you carry Bree in." She explained. "You haven't used it yet."

"That weird contraption thing?" I asked waving my hands around my chest as an example. She nodded. "I haven't used that thing because it's weird."

"Oh, come on." She said walking back down the hallway toward my apartment. "I bought it for you, you have to use it. It was a gift, and it's just rude to refuse a gift."

I rolled my eyes and sighed as I followed her into my apartment. I pushed the stroller into the living room as Bella ran into Bree's room. She came back out carrying the _thing_. She sighed at the look on my face and stepped in front of me and slipped it over my head. She walked around me clipping clips, and fastening buttons.

I looked down at the thing I was wearing and I looked like I was ready to strap a bomb on. Bella picked Bree up and held her up starting to put her feet in the contraption.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I said taking a step back. "She's just going to hang there?"

"Kind of." Bella laughed. "She will be supported." Bella lifted Bree back up and started putting her back into it.

"I don't like this." I mumbled.

Bella laughed and said, "Look Bree likes it. She's laughing. Whether or not she's laughing at you or not, I'm not positive."

Bella got Bree into the thing and said, "Alright, she's in. I'm going to let go of her now."

She stepped back and as soon as her hands left Bree, my hands replaced them, catching Bree in fear that she would fall to the ground without my support.

"Don't ever do that again." I said as I pulled Bree further up my chest.

"Don't be such a baby, Edward." Bella rolled her eyes. She grabbed the stroller and headed for the door. "Let's go."

Walking to the park was nice. The sun was bright, warming everything nicely. Bree was enjoying her time outside. She took in everything around her with a huge smile. I was grateful that she was still small, because every time she swung her feet, my balls quivered in fear. But, she was kicking me repeatedly in the hip.

Once we got to the park I was happy to see there weren't too many people there. We chose a spot near the playground and parked the stroller. Bella laid out the blanket I had brought and started pulling Bree out of the contraption I had renamed 'The Baby Carrying Ball Cruncher'.

Bella laid Bree down on the blanket while I tried to remove the ball cruncher from my torso. It wasn't going so well. I heard Bella laughing as I got one of my arms caught in the air, with the straps wrapping around my head.

"Get me out of here." I said.

"Hold still." Bella laughed. I heard a click and then Bella said, "Oh, that's my new screensaver."

"You did not just take a picture of me." I said.

Bella laughed yet again as she pulled the thing over my head freeing me from it. She was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face. "That was to priceless to not take a picture of."

I groaned and said, "I used it. Your present was un-wasted. I'm never using it again." I stretched my back and said, "That thing killed my back."

"No, you carrying Bree all the way here killed your back." Bella said. I couldn't argue with her. I did pretty much carry Bree the whole way. The thought of Bree just hanging there made me nervous.

"Stop your laughing." I said to Bella while I picked Bree up. "Some day I will get an embarrassing picture of you."

"Good luck with that." She giggled as we walked over to the swings.

I placed Bree in the baby swing and started pushing her lightly.

"How is the Jessica search going?" Bella asked as she sat on the swing next to Bree's.

"I hired a private investigator." I answered. "Someone I trust with my life. But, so far nothing to report. It's like Jessica dropped off the face of the earth."

"I'm sorry." Bella whispered.

"It's fine." I said as I pushed Bree again. "In a way I don't want to find her, because it would kill me if she tried to take Bree from me. She means more to me than my own life. I'm not just going to hand her over without the hugest fight anyone has ever seen.

"But, on the other hand I want to find her because I want answers. I want to know why she didn't tell me, why she left her. _How_ she could just leave her. With the help of Carlisle, I got my name put on the birth certificate. I just need Jessica's signature to change Bree's last name to Cullen."

I smiled at Bella and said, "So I need a signature and some answers and then she can go on her marry way."

Bella smiled at my attempt to brighten the mood. "Well, I hope for your sake you get everything you want."

"Me too." I answered. I wondered if she knew just how much I wanted her to be one of those things I wanted.

"Let's go slide." Bella said jumping up from her swing.

I pulled Bree out of the swing and handed her to Bella who was sitting on the top of the slide waiting for us.

Bella scooted forward and said, "Come on, slide with us."

I climbed up the stairs and sat behind Bella, placing my legs on the outside of hers. I inched closer and put my hands on Bella's hips. "I like this." I said.

Bella slapped my leg playfully and said, "Don't be a pervert." Bella pulled Bree further up her lap and said, "Let's go."

We both scooted forward at the same time and went half way down the slide and stopped.

"Well this slide works great." I said.

Bella was laughing and trying to fling herself forward to get us moving again. With her doing that movement, her butt kept rubbing against a good part of my body in a naughty way. Or was it she was rubbing a naughty part of my body in a good way? Either way, it was getting hard to hide what she was doing to me.

I moved backwards and flung my legs over the side of the slide and jumped down to the ground. I adjusted myself and then moved to the bottom of the slide. I grabbed Bella's feet and pulled her down the rest of the way.

"That was easier." I laughed.

Bella and Bree slid down a few more times with my help of pulling them most of the way. After Bella was sick of the slide we walked back over to our blanket and I laid Bree down on her stomach with some of her toys. Bella and I sat next to her talking.

"Bree!" We heard in the distance.

Bella and I both turned to see Embry running towards us. Bella smiled and I groaned. He made me nervous when he was around Bree.

"Come here, Bree." Embry said slapping his hands to his legs. "Come here, girl."

"Embry, she's not a dog." Jake said coming up behind Embry holding the hand of a large blonde guy I had never seen before.

"She's not a dog, she's my girlfriend." Embry smiled and went back to calling Bree to him. I groaned to myself at his words.

"You are too young to have a girlfriend and buy the look on Edward's face; Bree will never _be_ a girlfriend." Jake laughed.

"Edward look!" Bella yelled. I turned and looked and Bree was scooting herself on her stomach towards Embry.

"Told ya." Embry said with a huge smile. I tuned out Embry and smiled as my baby moving herself across the blanket. I couldn't have been more proud of her.

"Bella, Edward, this is my boyfriend James." Jake introduced. I stood to meet the guy Jake was introducing. He was tall with short blonde hair and blue eyes. He was pretty muscular, not as big as Jake, but I'm sure they had pretty heated _wrestling_ matches.

"James, this is Bella and Edward and Edward's daughter Bree." He gave us a slight smile and then looked down at Bree. This guy didn't look like he was always the nicest guy. But, as soon as he opened his mouth to speak all my worries left.

"OH, MY, GOD! She is so adorable!" He beamed. "Honey, I want a baby, so bad." He said rubbing his hand across Jakes chest.

"I think it's a little early to be talking kids." Jake laughed. James pouted and sat down on the blanket with Bree and Embry. It was easy to tell who wore the panties in this relationship.

"So, boyfriend, huh?" Bella said to Jake.

"Yeah, I figured I would try the monogamous route." Jake said.

"I told him it was monogamous or he wasn't getting any more of the James candy." James said looking up at us. "And honey, you can't just walk away from all this." He said waving his hand around himself.

James smiled and said, "I am like a drug, one taste and you are hooked for life." He winked at Jake and said, "Am I right?"

Jake's already reddened face turned another shade of red and said, "You are right. That's why I closed up your candy shop to everyone else."

"I want some candy." Embry said.

"Time to go play!" Jake yelled clapping his hands together.

We all laughed and moved to the swings. Embry and Bree were in the baby swings next to each other. Embry said he couldn't swing unless he was holding Bree's hand. They barely moved in the swings, while holding hands.

Embry really was cute around Bree, I couldn't deny that. But it made me nervous; she wasn't even a year old and already had an admirer. When she got older I was in some real trouble, I knew that already.

"Who wants an underdog?" James asked excitedly.

"Not me!" Bella said. "That scares me."

"What's an underdog?" Jake asked as I wondered the same thing.

"You sit on the swing and I swing you and then run under you making you swing high." James explained.

"Oh, hell no." Jake said.

"You can do it to me, James." I said as I sat down on the swing.

"Oh, honey. I live for those words." James giggled.

"I didn't exactly mean it like that." I said and held on to the chains of the swing tightly.

"Uh huh." James said and grabbed onto the swing at my hips. He pulled me back and than ran forward, pushing me high in the air as he ran under me. I flew up in the air and fell back quickly to the ground, without the swing. I lay on the dirt ground staring up at the sky trying to get air back into my lungs.

"Are you alright?" Bella asked frantically as she stepped into my line of vision.

"Yeah, but I think I broke my ass." I said as Jake helped me stand.

"You need that rubbed?" James laughed.

"No, I'm good." I said walking over to our stuff that was laid out on the ground. "But, thanks for the offer."

"We are going out tonight; you guys should come with us." Jake said as we packed up our stuff. "A double date that isn't with an asshole this time."

"Yeah, you guys should totally come." James said. "I would love to get to know you two better. Unless you need a babysitter. Then we can baby sit and you can go out."

"You're going to send them out on our date? Without us? What the hell?" Jake said.

"I like babies." James shrugged.

Bella and I looked at each other then back to Jake and James. "I will call you in a little bit and let you know." Bella said.

We all said our goodbye's and left the park. Bree riding in the stroller because I refused to use the ball cruncher again.

"Do you want to go out with them tonight?" Bella asked. "It could be fun. James seems interesting."

"If it's a date." I stated.

"What?" Bella asked confused.

"I would love nothing more to go…if it's a date." I said. "A real date."

"Like the whole dressing up, flowers, picking me up at the door, kind of a date?" She asked smiling slightly.

"Yeah, and hand holding, kiss at the end of the night, kind of date." I said smiling back at her.

"Okay." She said.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, it's a date." She said blushing.

"Good." I smiled a wide smile. I think my luck just might finally be turning around.

**A/N: I hope you all liked the trip to the park. A lot of people wanted Edward to catch a break…so that's what he's getting. Welcome James to the story. James is always the bad guy, and I didn't want him to be the bad guy…so he's going to be gay. Why? Because it's funny. Lol.**

**What do I want for my birthday, you ask? A review of course…or cash, cash is good too! :)**

**See you all Saturday or Sunday for the next update.**


	15. Chapter 15: Date Night

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**I apologize for this chapter being late. Thank you for all of the reviews! I appreciate all of you for reading, putting this story on alert and favorite, and for your reviews.**

**Here is the date and I hope it was worth the small wait. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15: Date night**

**BPOV**

As I walked into the apartment, after making plans for tonight with Edward, everyone was waiting in the living room looking like they were waiting to interrogate me.

Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett were all sitting on the couch together. No one was talking, and the television was off. I wondered how long they have all been sitting there just staring at the door.

"What's up?" I asked as I walked slowly into the room.

"Nothing." They all said in unison.

I nodded minutely and mumbled, "Uh-huh."

After looking at them all again, I walked into the kitchen; I could feel four sets of eyes drilling into my back. I knew Alice and Rosalie were probably getting antsy wanting to know how the park went. Even though I told them it was in no way a date, they still took it as a date.

I knew I didn't think of it as a date. I didn't think Edward thought of it as a date. It was just a day at the park. We have done it dozens of times. We hadn't done much since Paul came into the picture, so I think Edward's idea of spending the day at the park was his way of celebrating that Paul was gone.

Now tonight…well tonight actually was a date. Rose and Alice are going to flip with excitement. They have been complaining about me not being with Edward since we first met him.

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and walked slowly back into the living room. All their eyes were still following my every move. I sunk down into the chair across from them. It seemed sort of like I was in front of the firing squad. Or I had misbehaved and I was sitting in front of not one, but four principles waiting for my punishment.

I looked around the room and then asked, "Where is Charlie?"

"Still out." Rose said.

These people were starting to freak me out.

"What is wrong with you guys?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows and scanning the principal crowd.

"Nothing." They all said in unison…_again_.

I sighed and said, "Why don't you all just get this interrogation over with and then move on?"

Emmett grabbed the lamp that on the stand next to the couch and tipped it, shinning it in my eyes and said, "Where were you at one o'clock today?"

"The park." I answered.

"With?" He asked in a serious tone.

"Bree."

"And?" He prompted.

"Edward." I mumbled. I was trying desperately not to laugh. Even though this was a lets-have-fun-at-Bella's-expense interrogation, the looks on their faces were so damn serious it was comical.

"Is it or is it not correct that this was a date?" Emmett asked.

"It is not true that it was date. The date is later tonight." I said all in a rush.

"WHAT?" They all shouted.

"Oh man, I have to tell you guys." I said ignoring the questions they were all asking. "Jake was there at the park with Embry, and his new boyfriend."

"Embry has a boyfriend?" Emmett asked confused setting the lamp back down on the stand.

"What?" I sighed. "No, Jake has a boyfriend."

"Jake? Our Jake?" Alice asked.

"I know! That was my reaction." I said. Jake's last real relationship was Leah. Jake has been on tons of dates, but never really dated. For him to be committed to one person was something huge for him.

"What's he like?" Rosalie asked, my announcement of my date forgotten for the moment.

"His name is James." I answered. I like him, he's funny. He's tall, really built, not Jake built but pretty good, blonde hair blue eyes. He's really hot, actually. Looks can be…deceiving. At first he looked big and mean…but then…"

"Then what?"

"Then he started talking…" I laughed. "He is really…_feminine_."

"Like a new shopping girlfriend feminine?" Alice asked excitedly.

"Feminine like everything starts with 'oh my God', everyone is called honey, something about a candy shop that I don't even want to know about, and he was impeccably dressed for a day at the park, so there is a good chance on the shopping buddy."

Alice started getting excited and bouncing in her seat. She lives for a good shopping partner. Jasper placed his hand on her knee in a way to tell her to calm down. "Let's get back to this date." Jasper said with a smug smile.

_Damn. _

I took a deep breath and said, "Jake and James asked us to go out with them tonight and Edward said he wants it to be a real date…and I agreed."

"Well, it's about damn time." Emmett said.

"What time is your date?" Rose asked.

"We are leaving at eight." I answered.

Both of the girls shot off the couch screeching. Dogs everywhere were cowering from the high pitched noise.

"Bella, it's already four o'clock!" Alice shouted.

I looked at her confused. The date was not for another four hours. I could take a shower and get dressed in less than an hour. But apparently they had other plans.

"We are really going to have to get to work fast if we only have four hours to get you ready." Alice said. "You go take a shower and use my special body wash." She said to me, her special body wash was some whore-y smelling crap that she had to special order and have shipped over seas. She swore that stuff was like a magic man catcher, I just thought it stunk.

"You guys," she pointed at Jasper and Emmett, "we love you but you got to go. We have womanly things to do."

"Womanly things sound like something I do not want to witness." Emmett grumbled standing from the couch.

"You can stay if you want to model dresses for us." Rose said giggling.

"BYE!" Emmett and Jasper both yelled as they ran for the door.

"What are you waiting for?" Alice asked looking at me as I still sat in the chair unmoving. "Go shower, time is wasting away."

I rolled my eyes and sighed as I dragged myself out of the chair. I knew I should have waited to tell them about the date until…tomorrow. This was going to be a long four hours.

I showered, using a very tiny bit of Alice's body wash. I smelled perfume-y, but not over the top like I marinated in it. I washed my hair then got out, all within the time frame of fifteen minutes. I towel dried and wrapped the towel around my body, took a deep breath to prepare myself for the Bella make-over that was about to take place and walked out into the bedroom.

I walked into my bedroom to find Alice and Rosalie throwing all of my clothing out of the closet and onto the bed with 'no's' and 'god no's'.

"There is nothing in here date worthy." Alice grumbled. I thought everything I owned was perfectly fine. I knew if I wore the ugliest thing I could find, Edward would be fine with it. But that would not work at all for Alice and Rosalie.

"I know the perfect dress!" Rose shouted excitedly and ran from the room. I cringed at the word 'dress'.

Alice ushered me to sit in the seat in front of the mirror. Rosalie came running back in with a small black dress over her arm. She held it up for us to see. The front cut down into a v-neck and the straps tied around the neck, the top was tight and accented with diamonds -hopefully they were not real, I did not want to be responsible for something so expensive. The bottom flowed out at the hips and flowed down to mid thigh. Rosalie is a few inches taller than me, so the dress would be longer on me than what it was intended for. The back was completely bare down to the waist.

I didn't think Alice and Rose would be able to take four damn hours to use me as their life sized Barbie doll, but they started freaking out when Edward knocked on the door. Alice was running to get me shoes while Rose went to answer the door.

"You look great." Alice said as I slipped the shoes on. I stood and looked at myself in the full length mirror and surprisingly had to agree with Alice, I really did look great.

The dress fit snuggly and pointed out my curves, it even made my cleavage look good. My face had make-up that looked natural, and my hair was down and curled, the red was shining through that usually only the sun brought out.

"I don't think Edward is going to be able to keep his hands off of you." Alice giggled.

"It's a first date Alice." I said.

She snorted and said, "So? I slept with Jasper before we even _had_ a first date." He eyes glazed over and she looked like she was a million miles away. I cleared my throat and brought her out of her Jasper-lust-filled daydream.

"Sorry." She laughed. Alice linked her arm through mine and we walked into the living room where Edward was waiting.

**EPOV**

She said yes. She actually said yes. I was excited that tonight Bella and I were going on a real date. Finally.

I put Bree down in her crib and sat in the recliner in front of the television when the front door burst open and Emmett and Jasper came into the living room in a conga line chanting, "Edward's getting booty. Edward's getting booty."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" I asked as I watched them dance around the room.

"We heard about your date tonight." Jasper said as he ended the conga line and sat down at the couch.

"Yeah, which means Edward is finally gonna' get laid and get out of his funk." Emmett said as he grabbed my lamp and straddled it.

"Emmett could you please not hump my lamp?" I asked before he could defile my innocent lamp.

"Alright." Emmett frowned as he set my lamp back up. "No one is allowed to get lucky tonight but you."

"I am not getting _lucky_ tonight." I sighed. "It's a date, nothing more, nothing

less."

"Bo-ring." Emmet said drawing out the word.

"Hey the girls are dressing up Bella." Jasper said. "Can we dress you up?"

"Why not?" Emmett asked after I shook my head no.

"Because you guys would dress me up like a pimp or a clown or something else as ridiculous." I answered.

Emmett and Jasper looked at each other than said in unison, "Pimp."

"They are dressing her up already?" I asked incredulously. They both nodded.

"Women." We all said.

We pulled out the Rock Band and played for the next three hours. After we put the game away I fed Bree and told Emmett everything he would need to know while I was gone. Emmett was babysitting tonight; I didn't even have to convince him. Half way through asking him he was jumping around the room saying I had the right man for the job.

I took a shower and dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a button down shirt with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. Even though I was dressed nice, I still wanted to be comfortable. I got my hair to sit as well as it would, even though within an hour it would be a total mess again. The whole process of getting ready took me all of fifteen minutes. _Probably the best part of being a man. Well, that and not having to give birth._

"Woo-Hoo, lookin' studdly." Emmett said.

"Shut up." I mumbled.

"We won't wait up." Jasper laughed.

"Screw that." Emmett said. "We will be waiting and when you get home we will pop some popcorn and do pedicures and you can fill us in on all the details of the night." He said in a high pitched voice.

"Goodnight." I said as I walked out the door.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Emmett shouted. Well, that left everything open for an option seeing how there isn't anything Emmett _wouldn't _do.

I straightened my already straight shirt as I walked to Bella's door and knocked. I didn't think I would be nervous, but surprisingly I was.

Rose opened the door and looked me up and down. "Not bad. You could have done worse." She said. "Where's the flowers?"

"Shit." I mumbled. I had completely forgotten I was going to get her flowers.

"The date hasn't even started yet, and you already messed up. Good job." Rose giggled.

I sighed as she opened the door further and ushered me in. I stood awkwardly in the living room waiting for Bella, as Rose sat on the couch and stared at me.

"I have to admit, you do clean up nicely." Rose said. "Emmett only dresses nicely when I dress him, like he's a damn five year old."

I snorted at the picture of Rosalie laying out Emmett's clothes for him. I was wondering why he wasn't wearing his football jerseys everyday anymore.

I was brought out of the picture Rose had painted when Bella and Alice walked into the living room. I was rendered speechless. She looked amazing, and I suddenly felt like maybe I should have used the last four hours to get dressed also.

"You look amazing." I said as my eyes scanned her again. She blushed, only making her look even more beautiful. "I kind of forgot your flowers."

"That's alright." She laughed. "Next time."

"Well, this date is going great already." I laughed. "It hasn't started yet and I am already guaranteed another date."

Alice rolled her eyes and said, "We will decide on that, mister."

Bella laughed and walked over to me after putting on her coat. "Let's get out of here." She said.

"Now, you kids behave." Rose said. "And you better have her back by curfew."

"Yes, ma'am." I laughed.

"Unless you have her in the back of your car." Alice said. "And if you share your love, wear a glove."

"Time to go." I sang as I led Bella out of the apartment. We could still hear the girls laughing as we made it to the stairs.

"I was thinking we could walk, if you are alright with that." I said as we made it out onto the side walk.

"Sounds good." Bella agreed. The restaurant we were meeting Jacob and James at was only two blocks down the street, so walking was convenient.

We walked the two blocks making light conversation on the way. Once we got near the restaurant we spotted Jacob and James waiting for us outside.

"We are so glad you guys came out with us." James said giving us both a hug.

Jacob shook my hand and said, "Sorry about him. He takes some getting used to." He hugged Bella and said, "You look great Bells."

"You really do." James agreed. "That dress is to die for."

"Should we go inside?" I asked. Everyone agreed and I led Bella inside buy putting my hand on the small of her back. Her bare skin was even softer than it appeared.

Jake asked for a table for four and we were led through the bar and into the restaurant that was in the back.

The waitress sat us at a table and handed us our menus. "Can I start you off with a drink?"

"Cosmo." James sang.

"Me too." Bella said.

"I will take a beer." Jake said.

I was looking over the drinks on the menu. "Is there anything special I can get for you?" The waitress asked. I had to look up confused because she practically purred when she said it.

She was looking at me like I was on the damn menu. "Just a beer." I said.

"I will be right back." She smiled.

"Weird." I mumbled.

"I can be seen right?" Bella asked.

"Yeah." I said confused.

"She was totally drooling all over you." Bella said. "I mean I'm sitting right here, obviously I am with you. I know I don't own you, but damn it for tonight I do."

Jesus, my pants tightened just from her statement. "I don't know where this possessiveness came from, but I like it." I smiled. "And don't worry, she can drool all she wants, you are the only person I am interested in." Bella smiled and blushed again.

"So how did you two meet?" Bella asked James and Jacob.

James smiled and grabbed Jakes arm and leaned his head on Jake's shoulder. "We were both here actually. We saw each other on the dance floor and it was like love at first sight. No, it was more like lust at first sight and the rest is history."

"We were both on a date with other people, but they were both boring so we introduced them and then we took off." Jake laughed.

"How did you two meet?" James asked.

"We are neighbors." I answered.

James pouted and said, "Well that is f-ing boring."

Bella leaned forward and said, "Do you want to hear the real story?" James nodded excitedly leaning forward also. "I have been stalking Edward for years. Once the apartment next door to him opened up I snatched it. Everyday I would steal his mail and then take it to him and say I got it by accident, but of course I would deliver it naked.

"But the day he came to borrow some sugar and I trapped him in my bedroom and he saw how my whole room was a shrine to him, we instantly fell in love. Or it could be from the drug I feed him everyday."

"That story is much better." James said.

I couldn't help but laugh at Bella's story. I definitely needed to look into these books she's written and see what they are about.

The waitress came back and set all of our drinks down. "Are you ready to order?"

"I will have the eight ounce steak, medium rare, with sautéed onions and mushrooms." Bella said.

"What?" Bella asked when she saw I was looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Usually girls just order a salad." I laughed. "Then only eat a quarter of it. It's nice to see a girl eat without a fear of showing a guy she can eat."

Bella smiled and said, "I will take a side salad…and then my steak."

"I like steak." The waitress mumbled. We all looked at her like she was mentally unstable.

James and Jake ordered and then the waitress zeroed in on me again. "And, what can I get for you?" She said fluttering her eyebrows.

"Look here sweetie." James said. "This beautiful women sitting across from me is here with him." He pointed at me. "So obviously he is unavailable. Your shameless flirting is unnecessary and unwanted. You are blowing your tip all to hell, so be professional, take our orders, and keep your tongue in your mouth.

"And I swear on everything that is holy that if I get even the slightest feeling that you have spit in my food I will lay your ass on the floor, and not in a good way that your usual horny customers do."

James finished and took a sip of his drink saying, "This is good." I was just staring at him with my mouth hanging open.

"I will have the steak also." I said after I shook myself mentally.

The waitress walked off without saying another word.

"You know she is going to spit in our food, right?" I said to James.

"No she won't." James said. "She knows I will tell her mom."

We all looked at him with furrowed brows. "Oh," James said, "that is Victoria, my cousin. She is shameless when it comes to guys, but she is scared to death of her mom."

We laughed and carried on with our conversation. I couldn't help but pray that she wouldn't spit in our food. The thought alone made me queasy. She was pleasant when she brought out our food, and didn't flirt at all; actually she ignored only me -which I was fine with.

While we were eating and talking, a woman with a little boy was seated behind us. The little boy was making James nervous because he kept turning around and staring at him.

"Would it kill parents to teach their children some manners?" James grumbled.

I was impressed when Bella decided she still had enough room for dessert. We agreed to share a piece of chocolate cake. Jake and James did the same thing.

"You wait till I get you home." James said as Jake licked frosting off James' lip and laughed. The women at the table behind us huffed and James turned to look at her and came face to face with the little boy.

"Sweetie, staring will make you go blind." James said. "The other thing people tell you about going blind is not true, but staring will definitely do it."

The mother stood from the table and started grabbing her purse throwing money down on the table. "I will pray for you." She said to James.

"Why?" James said putting his hand over his heart. "Do I have an incurable disease I am unaware of?" James pushed back from the table as the woman started walking away. "I don't really think you need to worry about me. I mean, you have more important things to worry about, like where can you take your five year old after a bar?"

Jake grabbed James' hand to try to stop him from what ever he was going to do. "Some arrogant people say being homosexual is a sin, but I believe teaching your children to be an alcoholic is a sin also. So I guess we will meet again in hell."

Jake kissed James on the neck and glared at the woman who was staring speechlessly. "You are dismissed." Jake said flicking his hand towards the woman.

"I'm sure you are missing your appointment in the torture room at Chuck E. Cheese." James yelled after her. "I knew there was something wrong with that place." He laughed.

"There is never a dull moment around you, James." I said.

"You know you are getting a punishment for that later." Jake laughed in James' ear.

"And you know that's why I do it." James said.

After we finished our dessert we paid the bill and moved out front to the bar. We drank and danced for what seemed like hours. Victoria joined us after she was done working. She was actually pretty cool and she didn't flirt with me one bit. She did however; flirt with every other guy there. And she got us our drinks for free, which was a bonus.

I decided to cut Bella off from liquor after she started grinding against my leg. As much as I liked it, I knew she was becoming tipsy and it wouldn't take long before I had to carry her home. We all called it a night and headed out of the bar. We said our goodbyes to James and Jake and headed for home.

"I had a lot of fun tonight." Bella said as we walked hand and hand down the sidewalk.

"Good, I'm glad." I smiled. "I had fun too."

"James is a riot and Jake seems to really like him." She said.

"I'm happy for Jake." I said. "And James' outbursts are just plain funny. But I am glad his cousin didn't spit in our food."

Bella laughed and agreed with that as we made our way up the stairs to our apartments. I walked with her to her door and smiled down at her as she turned around and looked up at me as she leaned against her door.

"We should do this again." I said as I brushed a stray hair from her cheek.

"Yes, we should." She said leaning into my hand.

I leaned down towards her face and watched her lick her lips and she stared at my lips.

"Oh, your home." Emmett said opening up my door.

I turned my head to look in his direction. "No, no, no, go away." I growled.

Emmett put up his hands in surrender and smiled huge as he backed into the apartment and shut the door. Bella was giggling as I turned back towards her.

"Eager?" She smiled.

"I am sick of people stopping this." I said and before anyone had a chance to block me again I leaned down and claimed her lips with mine. They were soft and warm, better than I imagined.

Bella sighed as she opened her mouth to mine and wrapped my hair around her fingers. I moved one hand to the back of her neck and held her waist with the other. My tongue found hers and I could taste the sweetness of the drinks she had all night. Bella gripped my hair pulling me closer, pressing her body against mine.

After a few minutes I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers, both of us breathing hard.

"That was well worth the wait." Bella smiled.

"I agree."

"Goodnight, Edward." Bella said untangling her fingers from my hair.

"Goodnight, Bella." I whispered as she turned to go into her apartment.

I had a smile on my face that couldn't be broken until I walked into my apartment.

"That kiss looked like it tasted good." Emmett said.

"You fucking weirdo." I said. "I am getting rid of that peep hole."

**A/N: Now their first date is under their belt. And I was nice this time and didn't anybody stop their kiss. I hope you enjoyed the date. Next chapter will be up soon. Leave a review and let me know what you thought!**


	16. Chapter 16: Happy Birthday Bree

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**I can't believe it has been a month since I have updated. I apologize! I have had a rough couple of weeks. And just so you know, to write a humor story you have to be in a good mood. Other wise characters end up being killed off. But, have no fear, no one was harmed in the making on this chapter.**

**Welcome to all the new readers and a huge thank you to all of you who have reviewed! **

**I have to say something real quick before you start this chapter. From the chapter title you can tell Bree is now a year old. Don't do the math. I know she shouldn't be this old yet. But, it's fiction…so let's just roll with it. With that said, now on to the chapter. I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 16: Happy Birthday Bree**

**EPOV**

The past few months have been nothing but great. Bella, Bree and I go out and do things as often as possible, and Bella and I go out when ever we have the chance. Esme gets excited every time I ask her to baby-sit. She loves spending anytime with Bree she can get, but she also has hopes that Bella and I will fall in love, get married, and give her tons of grandbabies -those are Esme's words.

Bella and I have become much closer. We haven't been intimate but we have kissed…_a lot_, and have had some serious make out sessions with heavy groping. Bella wants to go slow, and I'm fine with that. No…I take that back, I act like I'm fine with it, but if the apartment building could run out of cold water than it definitely would with all the cold showers I take.

All in all, I am in a good place. I love Bree more each day even though I didn't think it was possible to love her anymore than I already did. I fall harder Bella every time I am with her.

Right this minute though I am sitting in my living room watching _The Wiggles_, and wishing I could blow my brains out. Apparently, when you have children in the house, you only have two channels on your television, Nickelodeon and Disney.

"What the hell are we watching?" Emmett asked from the chair across from me.

"_The Wiggles_." I deadpanned. Emmett scrunched up his face.

"This show is weird and annoying." He said.

"I think the guys from _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy _had kids with _Barney_ and this is them." I said pointing to the television.

Emmett laughed than asked what else was on. I switched the channel to Nickelodeon and _Dora_ was on. So much better, I thought sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and threw the remote on couch next to me. Bree who was sitting on the floor, surrounded by toys looked pleased that _Dora_ was on.

"You don't like this show?" Emmett asked. "What's wrong with it? I consider myself bilingual thanks to _Dora_."

"This show is just wrong." I said throwing my hands up. "What is wrong with these parents that they send their little girl out to wander in the woods alone everyday with a damn monkey?"

"You do realize it is just a cartoon right?" Emmett laughed.

"Yeah. But, what's the message? It's alright kids to wonder off from home with escaped zoo animals?"

"You have serious problems." Emmett said. "Alright, what about _Blues_ _Clues_?"

"There is enough ecstasy pumping through that house to take down an elephant." I said. "If you can jump into a painting hanging on your wall, than you are either Marry Poppins or you are seriously on something."

I was clearly amusing Emmett. "_Spongebob_?"

"That show is cool." I said excitedly. "Have you ever sat and really listened to it? There are a lot of sexual references that kids wouldn't pick up on."

"Okay, so let me get this straight." Emmett said. "You hate _Dora_ because she goes outside but you get your sexual kicks from _Spongebob_?"

"What? No!" I yelled.

"Alight, we will come back to this topic." Emmett laughed. "What are you doing for Bree's birthday?"

"I said I was just going to have a small party at home with all of us and mom and dad." I answered. "But, Esme has other plans, so I let her take over."

"You expected her to be alright with a small party?" Emmett asked with raised eyebrows. "Have you ever known her to do anything small?"

"I know, I know." I sighed. "Carlisle talked to me and said that since Bree is her first grandchild, and she still feels bad that she didn't get to throw a baby shower, she wants to throw a huge party and invite everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone." I said. Growing up we learned quickly that our mother loved her choice of staying at home with us and giving up her career for my fathers dream of being a doctor, but whenever she got the chance she loved organizing parties and dinners, and they were not small by any means. When she says she is inviting everyone, she literally means everyone. Family, friends, colleagues, small acquaintances, childhood friends, frankly, if you had a conversation with her that lasted more than one minute, you were invited.

My mother's parties were great, but they were also grand.

As we, starting talking about things other than Bree's birthday there was a knock at the door. I stood and walked to the door wondering who visited that actually knocked. I opened the door and smiled when I was met by Esme.

"Hi, Mom." I said as I opened the door wider for her to enter the apartment.

"Hello my son." Esme smiled. "Ah, hello my other son." She said when she saw Emmett.

"Mommy." He smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

"What are you buttering me up for?" She asked Emmett.

"Nothing, but I'm sure there will be something in the near future." He laughed.

Esme smiled at Bree who was holding her arms up for Esme. Esme scooped her up and gave her a big hug then held on to her as she sat down on the couch.

"What happened to me being your favorite?" Emmett grumbled.

"You would be if you were this cute." Esme said bouncing Bree on her lap. "Sorry boys, but you have been replaced."

"What are you talking about?" Emmett said. "I am that cute. Bree gets her adorable looks from her Uncle Emmett. Huh, Bree, don't ya'?" Bree just laughed at him.

"So, I came to ask about Bree's birthday." Esme said. "Have you thought of a theme yet?"

"I'm not going to lie." I said. "I know very little about little kids parties. I planned a cake with a clown and chocolate ice-cream."

Esme grasped her chest in an exaggerated show of having a hard attack. "Oh god, have I taught you nothing? Thank God I took over when I did. A clown cake? How horrifying."

"Clowns are scary, Edward." Emmett said. "Everyone knows that."

"What are you getting Bree?" Esme asked.

"I have no idea yet." I answered.

Esme smiled her smile that told she was up to something. "You know what you should get her? What the perfect gift would be?" I knew whatever she suggested was probably something I would not be getting Bree.

"You should get her a mom." Esme said seriously.

I spit and choked on the water I was drinking. Esme patted my back as I coughed and tried to control my breathing. I could see Emmett covering his face and laughing. Bastard.

"I know it's going to happen." Esme said once I was breathing again. "I have a good feeling."

Esme's subtle hints that she wanted me and Bella married had been getting progressively worse once Bella and I started dating. She even had everyone else hinting at it. Hell, Carlisle came right out and asked me when I was going to propose. Even though the thought wasn't totally horrible, we were nowhere near that stage, and Bella and I both agreed.

"We have discussed this." I said slowly as if I was explaining something to a child. "I am nowhere near ready for marriage. Bella agrees with me."

"As I recall you once said you were nowhere near ready for children, and look at you now, you are a great dad." Esme pointed out. "And you also said you were nowhere near ready for a steady girlfriend, and you and Bella are doing great. You two will be married soon, I can feel it."

"Uh-huh, you and your feelings." I said. "Kind of like you felt Emmett would be gay."

"WHAT!" Emmett shouted.

"And look at Emmett now." I continued, ignoring Emmett. "He's got a hot girlfriend. She doesn't have a penis does she?" I asked turning towards Emmett.

"No!" Emmett screamed. "You thought I was going to be gay?" He asked Esme frantically.

"Of course not, dear." Esme said. She hadn't really ever said that but by the look on her face, she might have thought it once or twice. By the look on Emmett's face, and his open mouth, he didn't believe her answer. I just laughed and was thankful the subject changed from me.

"Anyways." Esme said. "Don't worry about a thing. I will arrange everything. Just worry about getting yourself and Bree there."

Esme kissed Bree goodbye and made her way to the door. She was chuckling at Emmett who was grumbling in the chair about being considered as gay.

"So what about _Hannah Montana_?" Emmett asked resuming his game of kid's shows.

"Ugh." I groaned. "She can't act her way out of a paper bag and she dresses like a whore."

"I can't argue with you there." Emmett chuckled.

_**~/~/~/~/~/~/~ **_

I walked into Bree's bedroom singing Happy Birthday to her. I couldn't believe she was a year old already. When parents say the time went fast, they weren't kidding. It did not seem like it was that long ago that she had literally been dropped at my doorstep.

As much as I hate that that was how she came about to be in my custody, I loved that she was, and I was loving every minute of it.

Bree and I had a quiet breakfast together just the two of us, then danced around the living room with the _Yo Gabba Gabba _crew on the television. I knew Bree's birthday party was going to be loaded with tons of people, so I just wanted to spend this time with her by myself.

After Bree took a nap and I took a shower, I got dressed and dressed Bree in her knew frilly dress the girls insisted she needed to wear today.

"Yo, yo, yo, little brother." Emmett said as he walked into the apartment. "There is the birthday girl and the most adorable niece in the world." He said scooping Bree up off the couch and twirling her around in a circle.

Bree giggled as Emmett sat with her and she was pulling on his tie. I raised my eyebrow at the tie. Emmett was always a jeans and jersey type of guy. To see him in a tie was a rare occasion.

"Well, mom said dress casual so I went with jeans and a tie." Emmett explained. "The jeans because they are casual and the tie because…well, incase she was lying."

The sad part was that I couldn't even laugh at him because I was dressed exactly the same way. For all the same reasons.

Jasper came into the apartment to tell us that the girls were almost ready to go. Jasper was dressed the same way we were. I guess we all weren't sure what Esme's definition of casual was. With Esme it was always better to be safe than sorry.

I guess my alone time with Bree was over, it is time to go share her with everyone else, I thought as we loaded in the cars and headed towards Carlisle and Esme's.

If I had never been to Carlisle and Esme's house, it wouldn't have been hard to find. The street and driveway were lined with balloons and streamers. I knew Esme was going to go all out, but covering every phone pole and tree on the street, I had not imagined.

"That's a lot of damn balloons." Jasper said as we parked and got out of the cars.

"Do you think they are filled with helium?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"Don't even think about it." Rosalie said. "You are not sucking balloons."

We walked to the door and rang the bell. I was expecting Esme to answer but was surprised when a clown answered instead. The clown was in full-blown clown makeup and outfit. When he noticed Bree in my arms, he became excited and started jumping around.

Emmett took a step back and mumbled, "This is scaring the crap out of me."

Finally, the clown moved over to let us into the house. Esme came rushing up to us and took Bree from me wishing her a happy birthday.

"What's with the coat check clown?" I asked.

"He goes with the theme." Esme asked.

"Which is what? Giving your adult children nightmares?" Emmett asked.

Esme laughed and said, "Follow me and see. Why are you guys all wearing ties? I said dress casual."

All three of us stripped off our ties while we followed Esme who led us through the house and out into the back yard. I was taken aback from the view in front of me. It was set up like a circus. There was a huge Big Top tent in the middle of the yard. There was a petting zoo, clowns, games, a cotton candy stand. The yard had everything circus related.

When I said I knew Esme would go all out, I had clearly underestimated her.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked smiling.

"I, uh…wow. It's just…wow." I stuttered. "You didn't have to do anything this elaborate."

"Oh, not true." Esme said waving her hand dismissively. "You only get one chance at planning your granddaughter's very first birthday party. However, I can't really take full credit. I got the idea from you, Edward. When you said you were going to get her a clown cake, I thought circus."

"Did you have to have so many damn clowns?" Emmett asked scanning the yard with his eyes. There really were a lot of clowns. "Oh! Cotton candy!" Emmett shouted and grabbed Rose's hand and dragged her over to the stall with the cotton candy.

"Edward, Carlisle is in his office, he wants to see you real quick." Esme said.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah." She said. "He just wants to talk to you about something. Nothing serious."

"Alright. I will be right back." I said giving Bree and Bella both a kiss on the cheek.

I walked through the house and up the stairs to Carlisle's office. I worried about what he wanted to see me about. I didn't need any bad news on Bree's birthday. Suddenly horrible thoughts were flying through my head, someone has died, Jessica resurfaced, I have an incurable disease I didn't even know I had been tested for.

I stopped in front of the office door and took a deep breath calming myself down. After knocking, Carlisle called for me to come in. He sounded much to chipper to give me devastating news. At least I was hoping.

"Something wrong, dad?" I asked nervously.

"No, of course not." Carlisle chuckled. "Come in. I wanted to give you one of Bree's birthday presents."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat in the chair across from him. No one had died, no evil bitch has resurfaced, and I didn't have anything contagious.

Carlisle handed me a folder and said, "Your mother and I have set up a college fund for Bree. We set it in an interest barring account. We started it with ten thousand dollars and we plan to add more here and there. In that folder is the account number incase you would like to add anything.

With the interest it will collect she should be set for any collage she chooses without any financial worries at all."

"Wow, dad. This is great. Thank you so much." I said.

"It was our pleasure." Carlisle smiled. "It's a lame present to give a one year old but I'm sure she will appreciate it when she is older. We got her something more age appropriate too."

"Something other than the live circus going on in the back yard?" I joked.

"You know your mother; she goes a little crazy sometimes." He said getting up from his chair and looking out the window that over looks the backyard. "I have been watching Emmett and he seems a little skittish around the clowns. That in itself is well worth the cost of the party." He laughed.

"Well," Carlisle said clapping his hands together, "let's go have a birthday party."

Carlisle and I walked out into the backyard to find Bella and Esme. We found them by the pony rides and Esme was holding Bree on a pony as it walked slowly. Bella was leaning against a railing watching them.

I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her nuzzling her neck. After she slightly jumped, she relaxed into my embrace. We watched Bree as she rode around the small circle on the pony. She and Esme both seemed to be having a great time.

After awhile we caught back up with Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice. It seemed like Emmett was trying to break a world record in eating his weight cotton candy.

"Alright Emmett, that's enough." Rosalie said. "You are going to puking pink for a week. Hell, we all might just from watching you eat all that."

"Oh, my God! This is the coolest thing I have ever seen in all of my twenty years of life." We heard from behind us.

We all turned around to see James and Jacob walking towards us.

"Twenty?" I raised an eyebrow at James. I knew he had to be a couple years older than me and I am twenty-five.

"Yes." He said. "Once you hit twenty-five you start counting backwards." His logic never seizes to amaze me.

"You're thirty?" Alice asked amazed.

"You shut your dirty little mouth!" James screeched. "Don't say that filthy word out load."

"I'm sorry." Alice giggled. "It's just you don't look that old. Not that that's old."

"Well, thank you." James smiled. "I try hard."

"Where is Embry?" I asked Jake. Jake pointed behind us and I turned to see that he found Bree and they were on a Marry-Go-Round together. That kids Bree radar was pretty impeccable, I had to give him that.

"Oh, man." Bella mumbled.

I looked towards where she was looking and I saw Charlie walking our way holding hands with Wanda. I was more surprised to see that Wanda had left her house, than I was surprised she was holding hands with Charlie. I'm sure the hand holding was more of a shock to Bella.

"Hello, Wanda, Charlie." I greeted them. "I'm glad you could make it."

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world." Charlie said. "We have been working for weeks on getting Wanda out of her house. How are you doing honey?"

Bella dug her nails into my arm and groaned when Charlie called Wanda 'honey'. I chuckled slightly at her reaction.

"I am doing alright." Wanda said. "There are a lot of people here."

"Actually there isn't." I said realizing that there was only about forty people here, all people I knew. For a party my mother was throwing, that was odd.

"Mom said she only invited family." Emmett said. "She said we have the rest of our lives to share Bree with everybody. She said today was family only."

I wondered how much that decision had hurt Esme. She has never thrown a party that didn't consist of less than a hundred guests. I did like this idea of just family today. I would have to thank her for that.

"You don't like Wanda?" I whispered to Bella as I dragged her away from everybody.

"No, that's not it at all." Bella assured me. "It's just it's weird to see my dad with someone. I want him to be happy I really do. But, I haven't seen him with anyone since my mom. It's weird. Haven't we had this talk before?"

"Yeah." I laughed. "And I'm sure we will again. Just remember Wanda seems to make Charlie happy and don't even think about them being physical."

"Oh, gross!" She screeched. "I had not thought about that. Thank you for putting that in my mind."

"Glad I could help." I laughed.

We made our way over to where Bree and Embry were. Carlisle and Esme looked completely content and happier than I have ever seen them as they watched Bree. We followed Bree and Embry as they walked around petting the animals in the petting zoo. Embry never dropped Bree's hand.

I introduced Bree and Bella to all of our family. Other than immediate family, there were a lot of the cousins from all over the place here. Carlisle was one of six kids. They were spread out all over the world. All the way from Alaska to the Amazons. I was surprised they were all here.

"Hey, Edward, come on." Emmett shouted.

I turned to see Emmett climbing into a huge bouncy house with Embry and Bree. Jasper was kicking off his shoes in a hurry to climb in after Emmett. I laughed as Alice was complaining that the guys were too big to be in it. I toed my shoes off and dived in, not wanting to miss this chance. It just looked like to much fun to pass up on.

We all held hands and jumped in a big circle. Bree and Embry were laughing loudly and it was contagious. Jake joined us and was throwing Embry around causing him to laugh even louder.

We were all laughing at the four girls standing outside the bounce house warning us we were over the weight limit. I say four girls because James was too feminine to be considered one of the guys.

"Bree, Embry, come on. We are going to play some games." Esme called. "You guys are too big for this thing." She said to us after she helped the kids out.

"Oh, nonsense." Emmett disagreed. "They just put a weight limit on it to limit adult's fun."

We were all about to get out when Emmett screamed, "Cannon ball." He jumped into the middle of the floor causing Jake, Jasper, and I to be thrown against the walls. And then the whole damn house tipped over with the door facing the sky.

"Nice going Emmett." Jasper said as he stood rubbing his knee. "How the hell are we supposed to get out?"

"I don't know, but I'm not feeling too good." Emmett answered rubbing his stomach.

"No, no, no. Don't you dare throw up!" I yelled.

"We have to roll it until the door is in the front." Jake said.

"There is no room to roll it." Jasper said looking out at the yard.

The girls were all laughing and yelling there 'I told you so's' while I tried to think of how we were going to get out.

"Maybe if we throw ourselves against the floor, which is the side now, it will tip back over." I said.

We all lined up and ran as fast as we could towards the bounce floor. It didn't even budge.

"Well, that didn't work." Jake said.

"That could be because lard ass back there didn't help." Jasper exclaimed. We turned to see Emmett standing in the corner bent over holding his stomach.

"Emmett we need your help." I said.

"You boys having a problem?" We all looked up to see Carlisle standing there and Esme next to him holding a video camera.

"_This_, is why there is a weight limit." Esme said.

"Shouldn't it be tethered or something?" I asked. "That doesn't seem very safe for kids."

"It was tethered." Carlisle said. "You guys ripped the stakes right out of the ground."

"I'm gonna be sick." Emmett groaned.

"I will be sick if he gets sick." Jake said backing away from Emmett.

"If I see it I will throw up." Jasper said squeezing his eyes shut.

"Will you all stop talking about it?" I asked. "You guys are making me sick."

Suddenly Emmett hunched over and started dry heaving and Jake and Jasper started panicking and clawing at the bounce floor, trying to pop it. When that didn't work they tore the mesh siding and jumped out. I helped Emmett out then got out myself apologizing to Esme for ripping a whole in the bounce house, even though I didn't do it.

"Well, it looks like we just bought a three thousand dollar bounce house." Esme laughed.

"Oh." Emmett groaned as he threw up. "Rose why didn't you stop me from eating all that cotton candy?"

"Are you shitting me right now?" Rosalie asked as she was rubbing his back. "I did try to stop you from eating it."

"Hey look. You were right, it is pink." Emmett chuckled. Jake and Jasper sprinted away from Emmett both gagging.

After Emmett was feeling better, we all rejoined the rest of the party that was watching all the kids playing games. Emmett, unbelievably, was trying to convince Jake to have a hotdog-eating contest with him. Jake was having no part of it.

"What event is up next?" I asked Esme.

"Piñata." She answered.

"Oh, I want to do it!" Emmett shouted. "Hey ma, you video tape it and I will "miss" the piñata and hit Jasper in the nuts. Then we could win on _Americas Funniest Home Videos_."

"Umm…no." Jasper protested. "And why does it have to be me to get hit in the nuts?"

"You just have that 'hit me in the nuts' look about you." Emmett shrugged.

Jasper shook his head and covered his crotch as he walked away.

We did the piñata without anyone being hit with anything. Even though Emmett whined the whole time. The kids played other games and then we headed over to the present table to sing Bree Happy Birthday and have her open presents.

We all stood around singing to Bree. A clown suddenly popped up next to Emmett and started dancing around.

"Jesus, Fuckin' Christ!" Emmett screamed.

"Emmett Cullen!" Esme shouted. "This is a child's party. Which means there are children here. Watch your mouth."

"I'm sorry." Emmett said. "But he scared the sh…poop out of me." All the kids started laughing that Emmett said 'poop'. "These things are fucking creepy." He whispered.

"I didn't know you had a fear of clowns." Carlisle said.

"Yeah, neither did I." Emmett said as he moved behind Rose, eyeing the clowns that seemed to be surrounding him.

After we ate cake, Bree opened her presents. She got more stuff than any child could ask for. Most of the toys she got would be staying here. Even if I wanted to take them all home, my apartment was to small to house everything.

We all sat around the table in the backyard after everybody left, and watched Bree and Embry running around with who had been sucking on a helium balloon and was singing songs from the Wizard Of Oz.

"Umm…I need to say something." Jasper said standing awkwardly.

"You grew a vagina." Emmett joked as he joined us at the table.

"Uh, no." Jasper chuckled nervously. He was so nervous he was making me nervous. "I asked Alice to marry me and she said yes."

Suddenly it was complete chaos. Everybody was shouting there congratulations, the girls were all squealing; Esme was crying and jumping to hug Jasper and Alice.

After things settled back down and the girls were making plans to make plans -_women_, I thought- Jasper started looking nervous again.

"So, uh…I need to ask you something." He mumbled.

"You want to marry me too?" I laughed.

"I want your apartment." He blurted. Suddenly everyone was silent and looking towards us.

"Where the hell am I supposed to live?" I asked confused.

"Well, we have been talking about this for awhile and we were thinking me and Alice could have your apartment, and Emmett and Rose can keep our apartment, and you and Bree can…uh, move in with Bella."

My eyebrows rose and I looked from Jasper to Bella, she had the same look on her face that I did. Apparently, this is the first she has heard of this also.

"We just thought, with Alice and Rosalie moving out, Bella will have two extra rooms. You could all still have your own bedrooms." Jasper explained.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella who was also staring at me. Our relationship has been going great but I hadn't even thought about moving in together. I finally moved my gaze from Bella back to Jasper.

"Umm…can I think about this and get back to you?" I asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, no hurry." Jasper said clapping me on the back. "Well, a little hurry." He whispered.

The drive home was a quiet one. I thought about the prospect of moving in with Bella. We spent most of our time together anyways, so it wouldn't be that much of a change. We would have our own rooms; it would be like being roommates. Having her cooking everyday would be an amazing bonus.

I looked towards Bella who was riding quietly staring out the side window. I wondered what she was thinking, what she thought of the idea. I thought I would be panicking about the idea of moving in together, but I actually didn't hate the idea. I actually kind of loved the idea.

Bella came into my apartment with me. I joined her in the living room after I put Bree into bed for the night. I sat down next to Bella on the couch.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I am thinking about Alice and Jasper." She smiled. "I'm happy for them."

"And about the living arrangements?" I asked.

"I don't know." She said twisting her fingers together nervously. "I have never really thought about it. What do you think about it?"

"Honestly? I think it's a good idea."

"You just like the idea of having a live in cook and maid." She laughed.

"That's just a bonus." I teased.

"You really think it's a good idea?" She asked while moving closer to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. I nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Let's do it." She smiled then leaned in and captured my lips with hers.

I moaned slightly as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and bit down and then licked her way across my lip. I opened my mouth and sucked her tongue into my mouth. Bella moaned then pulled back slightly looking into my eyes.

"You guys can get all of you and Bree's stuff moved in while I'm gone." She said.

Bella was going on a six-week book tour. She was suppose to leave for it a week ago, but wanted to be here for Bree's birthday.

"You just want to get out of doing any work." I joked.

"Yup." She smiled.

Bella stood and pulled me up by my shirt and pulled me down the hallway towards my bedroom.

When we got into my bedroom I pushed Bella up against the wall and leaned down to kiss her again. Bella ran her hands down my chest until she reached the bottom of my shirt and lifted it up. I broke the kiss to pull the shirt over my head and threw it on the floor.

Bella was running her nails up and down my chest as I leaned down and kissed and licked her neck. She tasted amazing. Bella started pulling the button on my pants. Once she had the button undone and the zipper down she started pushing me backwards towards the bed.

I pushed my pants down and kicked out of them while walking backwards. Bella shoved me down onto the bed and stripped off her own pants and jumped on top of me straddling my legs.

"Eager?" I laughed.

"You have no idea." She said then pulled her shirt up over her head.

_Oh there is a god_, I thought as my eyes roamed up her topless body. How I hadn't noticed she was braless all day I will never know. I ghosted my hands up her sides then to the front where I cupped her breasts. I leaned up and took on hard nipple into my mouth, flicking my tongue over it, while I palmed the other one.

Bella threw her head back and moaned as I scraped my teeth across her nipple.

"Daddy!" We heard.

"Shit." I mumbled as we heard tiny footsteps coming down the hallway.

Without thinking, I pushed Bella off of me and she hit the floor with a loud bang. I looked over the side of the bed to Bella who was laying on the floor looking up at me.

"Why? Just…why?" She said confused.

"I'm so sorry. I panicked." I said as I hopped off the bed and helped her up.

Bella scurried to get under the covers on the bed before Bree, who was standing in the doorway would see her.

"I am so, so sorry, Bella." I said. I don't know why I had thrown her. It was a reflex from panicking.

"It's fine." Bella smiled. "It was just surprising. Go take care of Bree and hurry back." She said flirtatiously.

I pulled my pants on and picked up Bree with a promise to Bella that I would hurry.

"How did you get out of your crib?" I asked Bree as we walked into her room. "Are you my little escape artist?"

I read Bree a story and sang to her what seemed like a million songs while I rocked her in her chair before she finally fell back to sleep. I told Esme too much cake would keep her up all night. Did she listen? Nope.

After laying Bree back in her crib I walked back to my room and sighed when I saw Bella was out cold. She was curled up on the bed wearing my t-shirt. That sight was hot; she looked good in my clothes.

I pulled my pants back off and climbed into bed behind Bella, wrapping my arms around her. Bella sighed and leaned back into me. Yes, moving in together was a good idea.

But, this was going to be a long six weeks.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the birthday party! **

**This will be the only chapter when Bree ages more than she should. But, we will be making time jumps so that she gets older. I want her to be a little older before we bring in Jessica. You know she's coming, I'm just not saying when or how, you have to read and find out.**

**Leave a review…they are what I live for. Lol.**


	17. Chapter 17: Welcome Home Bella

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**I'm sorry this is late, truly I am. A huge thank you to everyone that left a review, they were all great and made me laugh!**

**I have never done this before but I am dedicating this chapter to JennWen and her hubby, because there review's always crack me up and I kind of promised them this chapter a few days ago. I am still waiting for my brownies :)**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 17: Welcome Home Bella**

**EPOV**

"Ahh! My leg!" Jasper screamed.

"What's wrong with your leg?" Emmett asked cocking his head to the side trying to figure out what was wrong like it wasn't obvious.

For the past few hours we have been moving furniture out of the girls' apartment, and Jasper is currently pinned against the door frame and a piece of furniture for not the first time, but the third. Frankly, I find it funnier with each time it happens.

"You're crushing it. AGAIN." Jasper screamed at Emmett, and I laughed even harder. "Stop laughing and help me you dick."

I straightened up and wiped the tears from my eyes before pulling the couch back a little so that Jasper could move his leg. Emmett just stood there acting like nothing was happening and that he wasn't the cause.

"You are such a baby, Jasper. How the hell did the girls get this couch in here?" Emmett asked.

"They didn't, we did." Jasper answered. "Remember? They had it stuck at the top of the stairs when we met them."

"That's right." Emmett said. "How they got this up the stairs I will never know."

I agreed with Emmett. The couch was a sectional that weighted a ton. We were having a hard enough time getting it through the door, I couldn't imagine carrying it up the stairs.

"Let's just force it." Emmett said just as he grabbed the end of the couch and shoved it towards the door.

"AHHHH." Jasper screamed.

"Again?" Emmett asked seriously. "Why do you keep putting your leg there?" My laughter started all over again.

"It's not like I keep jumping in front of it before you push the couch." Jasper grumbled as he removed himself from the doorway. "We have to tip it on it's side you dumb ass."

I guess when Jasper has been injured enough times he turns from the mild mannered one of the group to the foul mouth member. I don't think he has said a single sentence to Emmett all day that didn't consist of some bad language and a insult of some kind.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Emmett joked.

"No, but I kiss your mother with that mouth." Jasper answered.

"Get back in the doorway." Emmett growled.

"What's going on here ladies?" We heard from the doorway. Jake and Sam were standing in the hallway watching us with amused expressions.

Jake hopped over the couch we had wedged in the door frame and grabbed the end of the couch while Sam grabbed the other. They tipped it over and lifted it, each using one hand and walked it out the door.

"Well, we could have done that." Emmett said as Jasper said, "Show offs."

"Where is James at?" I asked once we got the couch set up in Jaspers apartment.

"He went shopping with the girls." Jake answered.

After Alice and Rose finished packing up all there things they suddenly had to go shopping, leaving us guys to move everything. They have Bree with them so that means of course she will come home with a ton of more clothes she will grow out of before she even has a chance to wear them.

As we moved everything out of the way to move things from one apartment to the other I looked around the hallway, thankful that we were the only people that lived on this floor, because we had the hall packed with bags and boxes.

Once we had everything moved and I had all of my and Bree's things put away we decided to lounge around and order in a pizza. We were starving and, we decided the girls could unpack there own shit. They could weasel there way out of moving everything, but that was where we drew the line. Plus Jasper and Emmett were nervous about breaking something of there's and getting their asses kicked.

"Are you excited about Bella coming home?" Emmett asked while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"I am actually." I said with a smile. Bella had been gone for almost six weeks and even though we talked on the phone everyday I really did miss her and I couldn't wait for her to come back.

"Oh, look at that grin." Emmett laughed. "Are you thinking dirty thoughts?"

"No, perv." Okay, I actually was, but I wasn't going to admit that to Emmett.

"I don't know what I would do if Rose was away for six weeks." Emmett said around a piece of pizza. "I would probably whack it like three or four times a day."

"That's just…gross." Jacob said.

"What did you do before you met Rose?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged and said, "I whacked it like three or four times a day."

"You have serious issues." I said to Emmett. "And not that it's any of your business but I'm not _whacking_ _it_ any number of times a day."

"How blue are your balls, man?" Emmett asked incredulously.

I threw my pizza back down in the box, suddenly losing my appetite with the turn of the conversation. "Can we please stop talking about my possible blue balls and my sex life?"

"Or lack there of." Jasper mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"The girls talk." Jasper said quietly. "Alice kind of told me you haven't been very far with Bella."

"DAMN!" Emmett boomed. "Your balls have got to be really blue after all. Let me see them!"

I looked at Emmett horrified. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not, I didn't like the idea either way.

"We're home!" Thank the lord! I have never been so happy in my life to see Alice and Rosalie in my life.

The girls and James all walked in carrying tons of bags like we all expected. They seem to find it impossible to just window shop. Leah pushed Bree in her stroller with Embry walking next to it holding Bree's hand. When ever Embry was around he was never further than a couple feet from Bree at all times.

"We got some amazing clothes for Bree." Alice announced excitedly.

"Of course you did." I mumbled. Like Bree needs anymore damn clothes. What is it with girls and clothes? I will never understand that.

"What?" Alice asked. I shook my head and smiled innocently.

"We got some things for Bella too." Rose smiled holding up a bag from Victoria's Secret. Now my interest was peaked.

"Oh yeah? Show me."

Rose shook her head and smiled an evil smile and walked into Bella's room with the bag for me to not see again until hopefully twenty-four hours when Bella gets hope.

"You don't want to see what's in that bag Eddie." Emmett said. "It's just going to make your case of blue balls worse."

I sat back on the couch letting my head fall back and stared at the ceiling sighing. I can't wait for Bella to come home. Not only do I miss her, but then I don't have to listen to Emmett's mouth.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~

"Honey I'm home." I heard from the living room.

I ran from the bedroom and into the living room to see Bella standing by the door smiling at me. I ran to her and lifted her off the floor spinning her in a circle. I knew I missed her but the sudden feeling of I was whole when I didn't even know I was missing a piece of me took me by surprise.

"So I take it you are happy to see me?" Bella laughed.

"Very." I said smiling down at her. "I have missed you."

"I missed you too." She smiled.

After a few minutes of heated kissing we heard behind us that we had company.

"Bew, Bew." Bree was bouncing on the couch and looked excited to see Bella. Apparently I wasn't the only one to miss Bella.

Bella picked Bree up and kissed her on the cheek then walked around the apartment to see all the changes that had been made while she was gone. All of Bella's stuff was left untouched, and mine and Bree's things where added.

After Bella put Bree down in her room to play we walked toward the kitchen.

"How was your trip?" I asked.

"Hectic, but great." She answered. "A lot more people were at the book signings then I anticipated. But then again I never think anyone is going to actually show up." She laughed.

"You are a beloved author." I gushed. "I'm surprised you don't have millions of guys chasing after you. I am also very happy about that."

Bella poked her head out of the refrigerator, where she was rooting for something, and smiled at me. "Well, I did get a marriage proposal."

I quirked an eyebrow at her as she emerged from the refrigerator with a bottle of water. I did not like that admission.

"But, I told him I was sorry but I had a great guy waiting at home for me." She said with a smile bringing the bottle to her lips.

I couldn't rein in the smile that took over my face. Without thinking I blurted, "I l…icked that."

Bella furrowed her brows and looked at the water bottle that was in her hand. "You licked this?"

"Yes." I squeaked.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because I'm weird." I shrugged. "It's the part of me that proves I'm related to Emmett."

"Hmm."

Holy shit! I couldn't believe I almost told her I loved her. That is not something I have ever said to anyone except Bree. I have never said it to a woman. Hell, I have never even had real feeling for a woman before. I know I have strong feelings for Bella, but love?

And, 'I licked it'? Really? That's the best my brain could come up with? I could literally slap myself for that. I. Am. An. Idiot.

"Yo, yo, yo, little bro, what's up." Emmett shouted as he walked in the kitchen. "Jelly Belly." He cheered.

"Emmy Bear." She laughed as he picked her up and spun her in a circle.

"So, what's going on?" Emmett asked.

"Apparently, Edward is now licking bottles in his spare time." Bella smiled.

"Why?" Emmett looked towards me disgusted. I just shrugged. "That's really gross." He said.

"Bew! Bew!" Bree yelled as she came toddling into the room. She thrust her book, that she hasn't put down in weeks, towards Bella.

"Beauty and the Beast?" Bella asked as she took the book from Bree.

"That is her favorite book." I sighed. "I have read it at least a hundred times in the past few weeks. She thinks that book is about you. Because the princesses name is Bell."

"Aww." Bella gushed. "Well, every girl wants to be a princess." She laughed as she picked Bree up and walked into the living room to read her the book for the one-hundred and first time.

"Would that make you the beast?" Emmett laughed as we sat down in the living room.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Rose is working, and I'm bored." He answered.

"Do you want something to do?" I asked.

"Like what?" Emmett asked cautiously.

"I want to take Bella out to dinner tonight. Do you want to baby-sit?"

"Hell, yes!" He boomed. "Just me and you Bree. We are going to color, and read books, and play games, and dance to loud music, and eat junk food…"

He went on with their list of to-do's for the night and I tuned him out.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Dinner with Bella was great. She told me all about her tour and I told her about all the things that she missed while she was gone -which wasn't much. Her tour sounded busy but exciting. You could tell just by the way she talked that she loved what she did and how much her fans appreciated her hard work.

I admitted to her that I actually started reading one of her books. She was surprised by that, because…well, there really is a lot _adult _situations in her stories. But, other than that there really is a great story line than captures and keeps your attention.

I did not admit however, that I picked up some new tricks from her books. She explained to me that she herself had not done anything sexual that is in her books. And of course she said that with a beat red face. She told me how most of her research came from a fan based website where fans write about their favorite characters and put them in some truly hot situations. What was the name of the website again? Fan-something…I forget. Forget porn, I will find that site.

Bella and I were laughing and holding hands as we pulled up in front of our apartment building. As soon as I parked all the laughter stop and fear set in as took in the sight of the three cop cars, with lights flashing, lined the street in front of our building.

"Don't freak out yet." Bella said as I hurried from the car and we started running for the apartment.

"They could be at someone else's apartment." Bella said trying to calm my fears, but I had a horrible feeling they were in our apartment.

"I left the biggest part of my life with Emmet. What the hell was I thinking?" I grumbled.

As we ran up the flights of stairs and got to our landing all my fears were proven right when we saw the cops going in and out of the apartment and Emmett was talking to one of them while pulling his hair in frustration, looking worse than I have ever seen him.

"What the hell happened?" I shouted. "Where is Bree?"

"Alright. Just calm down, Edward." Emmett pleaded. "Let me explain before you kill me."

"Where. Is. She?"

"I don't exactly know." Emmett mumbled.

"WHAT?" I shouted.

"Calm down, man." Emmett said. Calming down was not an option for me. "We were playing hide-and-seek, and she hid and I couldn't find her. There was no way she could have gotten out of the apartment. She has to still be in there."

"You lost my daughter?" I seethed.

"I didn't lose her. I misplaced her."

"You misplace your underwear, not a human being!" I screamed. Emmett was backing up looking scared which was unusual for him, seeing how he's about two of me and could kill me if he wanted to. Bella was rubbing my arm trying to calm me down.

I can't calm down and won't until Bree is found and safe.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. It was an acc…you misplace your underwear?"

I growled at Emmett and turned towards the apartment while ignoring the cops who were trying to ask me questions. _I wasn't here morons…I have no answers_, I thought sourly.

I stood in the living room and looked around the room. Emmett said they were playing hide-and-seek. I walked into the living room and over to my piano. I took a deep breath and raised the lid to the piano bench. I started crying as I saw my baby girls curled up with her teddy bear sound asleep.

"That opens?" Emmett asked astonished.

I carefully picked Bree up and cradled her to my chest as the tears flowed freely. That was the scariest five minutes of my life.

After putting Bree in her crib and the cops all cleared out I plopped down at the couch running my hands through my hair, sighing. Bella snuggled up next to me and I pulled her in close to my side.

"Edward, you will never ever know how sorry I am." Emmett said from the chair. "I was so damn scared." Emmett was on the verge of tears and I couldn't question the truthfulness of this confession. I know he loves Bree and wouldn't purposely _misplace_ her, as he put it.

"I know ,Em. I should have told you she climbs in there." I said.

"Yeah, that would have been helpful."

"I knew I should have gotten rid of that damn bench." Bella stated.

"I am going to go home and cry myself to sleep after my major fuck-up." Emmett said standing from the chair. "Rose is never going to have kids with me." He mumbled to himself.

"Don't be to hard on yourself." I said. "I was pissed, but she's safe now and I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it, Edward, but thank you." Emmett said as he headed for the door. "Oh, and tomorrow we will be discussing why you misplace your underwear."

"Of course we are." I mumbled, after he left the apartment.

Bella suddenly started laughing uncontrollably. I looked at her questionably. She calmed down enough to say, "You misplace your underwear. What a weird thing to say." She was saying something after that but she was back to laughing so hard that I couldn't understand anything she was saying.

"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up." I said. "I don't know why I said that. My mouth filter doesn't seem to be working today."

Bella started to calm down her laughing again. She snuggled back into my side and I held her tightly.

"What a day." I sighed. "It started so great with you coming home, and then we had a great time out, and then everything went to hell."

"It can go back to being a great day." Bella whispered as she sat up and startled my lap.

"Yeah?" I asked feeling better already.

"Yeah." She answered running her hands through my hair gripping two handfuls at the back of my head and pulled me to her.

I pressed my lips firmly against hers and her body melted against mine at the contact. I deepened the kiss as Bella's nails massaged my scalp. I moaned into her mouth as she shifted on my lap grinding herself against me. I quickly lifted Bella by her hips and stood keeping her wrapped around me. I walked into my bedroom and laid her on the bed without breaking our kiss.

I sat up on the bed and pulled Bella's shirt over her head while she pulled mine up. I rid myself of my shirt then worked on the button of her pants. Bella laid back as I ghosted my hands down her side, over her stomach and resting them on her breasts. Bella moaned and arched her back as I ran my thumbs over her nipples which were becoming increasingly hard.

I nuzzled Bella's neck and trailed a line from the base of her neck to her ear with my tongue and sucked her earlobe into my mouth.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"More sure than I have about anything in my life." She answered.

While her back was arched I reached behind her with one hand and unhooked her bra getting rid of the offending material that was in the damn way. I replaced my hand on her nipple with my mouth and flicked my tongue over it before lightly scraping it with my teeth. I moved to the other breast to show it the same affection.

I sat up and pulled Bella's pants and underwear down and off her before throwing them behind me. I climbed back up her body and recaptured her lips, biting down gently on her lower lip before sucking it into my mouth.

Bella made fast work of undoing my pants and pushing them down and off with her feet. Bella wrapped her legs around my waist and I positioned myself at her entrance…and stopped. Son of a bitch!

"I don't have a condom." I sighed dropping my forehead to Bella's shoulder.

"I don't either." She said sounding disappointed.

"It's like there is someone at work to constantly cock-block us." I said.

"Well, lets show that person they cant stop us." She said. "I'm on the pill."

I raised my head to look into her eyes, "Your okay without a condom?"

"Yes, now, please, Edward." She said bringing her hips up to meet mine. I would have done a little happy dance right then and there if I didn't have something better to do.

I kissed her passionately as I pushed into her and we moaned together at the feeling. I entered slowly until I was completely buried inside of her. I had to stop and take a minute to breath and calm myself before I could continue. I didn't want to act like some hormone driven teenager and blow it -literally- in the first few minutes.

After I calmed my self down I pulled almost all the way back out and then back in, slowly at first and then gradually increasing the pace. Bella was lifting her hips and meeting everyone of my thrusts.

Bella was moaning and chanting my name as she scratched down my back and arms. Wounds I will wear proudly. To say that I felt like I was home inside Bella, would probably sound extremely stupid, but fuck it…I'm saying it anyways. Being with a women has never felt this intense and right.

Bella threw her head back into the pillows and dug her nails into my shoulder blades as she hit her climax. Hearing her scream my name at her peak was the hottest thing I have ever heard.

Watching her orgasm and chant my name led me to saying my own confession. "I like this!"

Son of a bitch! I almost said I love you again! First of all I don't know why my brain keeps trying to say that without my permission. And I know during sex is definitely the wrong time so say it for the first time. But, I like this? Really? What is wrong with my non-functioning brain today?

**BPOV**

I like this? Did I really just hear him correctly? That is something new. I have never heard that during sex. I have heard some kinky things, but never I like this. I like it too, hell I love it actually, no man has ever made me feel this way. But, to scream I like it? Odd.

Edward started thrusting harder as I came down from my high. He leaned down and pulled one nipple into his mouth as his hand reached between us and rubbed my clit with his thumb and I arched off the bed as my second orgasm rocketed through my body.

"Oh shit, Edward!" I screamed as I arched off the bed and held on to him tightly.

Edward went with me this time and his thrusting slowed as I felt him explode inside of me. Edward slumped down on top of me and laid there as we both panted, trying to catch our breathes.

After Edward caught his breath he rolled over and pulled me with him so that my head was resting on his chest. Edward was smoothing back my hair as I traced the lines of his muscles on his chest and abdomen. I was memorizing it with my fingers.

"Are you guys finally done in there?" We heard through the wall. "Congrats on losing the blue balls, man." I buried my face in Edward's chest, embarrassed that Emmett heard us. I had forgotten when I could hear Edward through the wall. I guess Emmett and rose were now on the other side.

"Ignore him." Edward whispered. "Next time we will go to my room." As satisfied as I was right now, I couldn't wait until the next time.

Edward rolled on his side and started kissing my neck. Just then there was a knock at the door.

Edward squeezed me to him and said, "Ignore it."

They knocked again.

"It's probably one of the girls wanting to welcome you home." He said. "They can see you tomorrow, you are mine tonight."

They gave up knocking and started pounding on the door.

Edward sighed and sat up. "I am going to get rid of them. Don't. move."

I giggled and settled into the bed intending to obey him. Edward stood up and pulled his boxers back on and walked from the room to answer the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I heard Edward say angrily.

"Is that anyway to welcome me?" I heard a female voice say.

Stay in this bed my ass. I shot out of bed and threw on Edwards t-shirt and my underwear and headed into the living room. Edward was standing at the door with a tall woman, with strawberry blonde hair and an amazing body. I was chanting, 'please don't be Jessica' in my head. I knew there was no way I could compete with this woman.

I walked over to Edward and wrapped my arms around him, while smiling at the mystery woman.

"I told you to stay." Edward said.

"I wanted to meet our guest." I smiled while I rubbed my hand down Edward's bare chest. Hell yes I was marking my territory. I would lift my leg and piss on him if have to.

"Hi, I'm Bella, Edward's girlfriend." I smiled at the woman and held my hand out.

She shook my hand and said, "Girlfriend. That's cute. I'm Tanya, Edward's wife."

_WHAT!_

**A/N: My sister told me this was were this chapter had to end. So direct all hate mail to her! I have already started the next chapter, so this won't be left hanging long.**

**Leave a review!**


	18. Chapter 18: Wife? WTF?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**The response to the last chapter was overwhelming. Thank you to every single person who reviewed. The consensus seems to be…WTF? I was very grateful that all of the hate mail was directed at my sister and not me. And she loved it all!**

**I am not going to keep you waiting any longer. I hope you enjoy! See you at the bottom. **

**Chapter 18: Wife? WTF?**

**BPOV**

_Previously:_

"_Hi, I'm Bella, Edward's girlfriend." I smiled at the woman and held my hand out. _

_She shook my hand and said, "Girlfriend. That's cute. I'm Tanya, Edward's wife."_

_WHAT!_

Edward cringed when she said that and I just stood, open mouthed staring at her. What the fuck does she mean _wife_? Would Edward really not tell me he was married?

Tanya started laughing and doubled over holding her stomach. "Oh, my God. Your should see your face." She laughed. I don't know what's so funny but she's pissing me off.

Tanya straightened herself and said, "I'm just kidding with you. I am Edward's cousin."

Cousin? I let out a huge breath that I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Tanya." Edward scolds. "That was not funny and not appropriate." Edward turns to me and says, "Bella, this is Tanya, definitely my cousin and not my wife. And she is also the private investigator I said I trusted with my life."

Tanya smiles wide until Edward turns burning eyes on her.

"Except right now I am thinking about punching her in the throat, and then let's see how funny she thinks she is."

"Oh, Edward." Tanya laughs. "You know I could take you." Tanya turns towards me with a serious expression and takes my hand, "I am really sorry about that, I guess in hind sight it wasn't all that funny."

I smile at her hesitantly to let her know that I'm not totally pissed about her little 'joke', but I don't say anything, I don't even know what to say to her.

Tanya walks into the living room and drops down into the chair and says, "You know what? In hind-hind sight, it was fucking hilarious! You should have seen your face Bella. I could see you brain blinking 'What The Fuck'."

_A comedian without any humor…awesome._

"Just ignore her it's the easiest way to go." Edward says to me and makes to move into the living room and stops when I grab his arm.

"You're not married are you?" I ask nervously.

"Not that I know of." He tries to make a joke. Humor does not run in this family.

"You also didn't think you had any children." I reminded him.

"Oh! She's got you there." Tanya laughed.

Edward places his hands on either side of my head and looked in my eyes and says, "I am not now, nor have ever been married. I promise you that." I couldn't stop my smile that spread from the sincerity of his words and the look of fear that I might not believe him.

"Well, there was that one time we got drunk in Vegas…no wait, that was me who ended up getting married that time." Tanya said.

"And how is Felix?" Edward asked as we sat down on the couch across from Tanya.

"He is very well." Tanya smiled. We could tell her mind was drifting to something we did not want to know about.

"Everybody dressed in here?" We heard from the door.

"Yes, Emmett." Edward sighed. "And what was with you listening to us earlier?" Edward asked as Emmett came into the room.

"Contrary to what everyone thinks, I am not a pervert." Emmett said. "I walked into my bedroom and heard your bed crashing into the wall and I turned around and left the room. And then I sat with Tanya in the living room until you were all finished."

"I can vouch for him." Tanya said.

"Now, if you were not my brother, than yes I would have listened in." Emmett laughed.

Edward groaned and turned his attention back to Tanya. "So why exactly are you here? The last I heard from you, you were in Sweden trailing Jessica."

"Actually we ended up in Amsterdam." She said.

"I bet you stoners were happy about that." Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, that wasn't so bad." Tanya smiled. "But, let's get down to business."

Tanya pulled her bag into her lap and pulled out a large envelope and placed it on the coffee table between us. She opened it and pointed to a blonde guy in a picture.

"This is Mike Newton. This is who Jessica is traveling around with. With my intense background search I have learned he is a con-artist and is very good at it. But, he had hit a troubled spot and his money was wiped clean. That was when he brought Jessica into it."

She flipped to another picture and it was of the Mike guy and a short girl with light brown hair with blonde streaks.

"Is that her?" I asked before my brain registered the question with my mouth.

"You have never seen her?" Tanya asked and I shook my head. The girl in the picture was pretty. "She's not someone you have to worry about." Tanya reassured me. "She is pretty in that, airhead girl next door, that if you talk to for more than two minute you want to jab her in the face with a pencil kind of way."

"She really was an airhead." Emmett agreed.

"What the hell did you see in this girl?" Tanya asked Edward incredulously.

"Nothing." Edward answered. "I was never in a relationship with her." Edward pulled me tighter against his side sensing my unease at the topic of discussion. "Jessica and I were never anything more than friends." _And fuck buddies,_ I added mentally. "And after everything she has done to me and Bree I wouldn't even accept her as my friend."

I couldn't help but feel that no matter what Edward said, Jessica would be a part of his life. Even if he never saw her again. And they share a daughter together, so even if Edward hates it, she is a part of his small family, and always will be.

"This guy is a runt; I could step on him and end him." Emmett said pointing to the picture of Mike.

"That's what Felix said too." Tanya laughed. "So, back to the matter. Mike is a con-artist, he has brought Jessica along with him because he needs her help with it. They're not having the most luck and they are spending more money than they are conning out of people.

"I have talked to her a few times and she has never let on that she even has a child. They are traveling around pretending to be a newly married couple. Get this…he's telling people he is Michael Welch. Okay, there is some similarities in the two but come on, Michael Welch is hot and this guy is just…stupid."

Tanya closed the folder and suddenly became serious. "Now, onto the bad part. I lost them."

"What?" Edward hissed. "How?"

"Felix came and joined me in Amsterdam because it was our anniversary. We slipped out for the night and in the morning Mike and Jessica had already checked out and moved on. I just had a huge case come in that I have to make priority, but I have some of my best men on finding her again."

Tanya put the folder back in her bag and sat back. "What I don't understand is Jessica's mother is wealthy, beyond really, so why did her mother stop supporting her?"

"I asked Wanda about that." Edward answered. "The arrangement was that Wanda would support Jessica while and after she finished college. There is also a trust fund for Jessica that she could have when she finished college with a degree. But, Jessica quit college and Wanda made good on her threat and cut her off, and she hasn't seen or heard from Jessica since."

"Well, I don't think you will be seeing her for awhile, if ever." Tanya said. "As awful as it is for a mother to not want her child, I think if she comes around it will only be for money."

"Thank for everything, Tanya." Edward said.

"That's my job." Tanya smiled. "I would love to stay, but I have a very hot and sexually frustrated husband I have to go untie from the bed."

"You left Felix tied to a bed?" Emmett asked. Tanya smiled a blinding smile and nodded.

"And you people say I'm a pervert." Emmett mumbled.

After Tanya went in and saw Bree and gushed about how cute she was she made her way to the front door to leave.

"Bella, it was so nice to meet you, and I'm really sorry about my joke earlier, even though it really was worth it." She started chuckling again and Edward growled at her. "And don't worry about Jessica, she has nothing on you. And Bree looks more like you than her anyways."

I blushed at that comment. I would love nothing more than to really be Bree's mother. I could never and would never run out on her and pretend she did not exist. Edward wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck after Tanya and Emmett left.

"I had Tanya following Jessica because Tanya was going to befriend her and get her to sign her rights over to Bree without her having to come around and causing problems." Edward explained. "I didn't tell anyone because Tanya felt strongly that she could accomplishment it and I didn't want to jinx it. Well, that doesn't seem to matter now."

"I understand." I said. And I truly did.

"I just wanted to try any do it without her here. I know if she comes around she's going to cause problems. I can't lose Bree."

I gave him a sad smile. I know how much he cares about Bree and how devastated he would be if something happened to come between them. But, I couldn't keep my mind from traveling back to that picture of her and thinking about how they have a past and they share a daughter.

"You know you have nothing to worry about, alright?" He asked pulling back to look down at me sensing my train of thought.

"Yeah." I lied.

"Bella." Edward whispered as he tipped my head back to look up at him. "Jessica has never meant anything to me and she means even less than that now. I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel about you. I love you…I love you, Bella."

The world seemed to stop at his confession. I stared up at him completely thrown at the moment.

"My brain has been trying to make me say that all day. That's why during sex I shouted 'I like it' like a moron. I mean, I more than liked it, I loved it, and I have never felt like this with anyone, least of all _her. _I just want you to know that I have never felt this strongly about anyone before, and I never want to feel this way about anyone else. I love you."

I looked at him, unable to speak; the tears that were beginning to brim were threatening to spill over. Edward wiped away a tear that escaped. "Please say something." He whispered.

"I love you too." I said barely audible.

Edward crushed his lips to mine showing his relief at my words.

"Let's go to bed and never think of _her_ ever again." Edward said tugging me along with him.

I smiled and couldn't think of an idea that would be any better.

******* 2 YEAR LATER *******

(Bree is now about 3 ½)

"Alright let's gets these dresses on!" Alice yelled as she came walking into the bridal store that Rosalie, Esme, Bree, and I have been in waiting for Alice.

It is our last fitting for our dresses, and to say that Alice is stressed is an understatement.

"Bride-zilla is here." Rose whispered, Esme and I chuckled and Bree looked confused.

"Why are you guys all sitting here?" Alice asked. "Let's get this done so we can go check on the flowers."

"Aunt Alice?" Bree looked up at Alice. "What is a bride-zilla?"

"Oh, my God." Alice screeched. "Who called me that?"

"Well, time to try on dresses." Rose chirped. Bree shrugged at Alice and walked into the fitting rooms with us.

Alice has always had a perfect wedding planned in her mind, ever since she was a child. Now that it is becoming a reality, she has been progressively getting crazier with the details and making sure everything goes according to plan.

And our plan of action? Stay out of her way.

As we all stand in front of the mirrors wearing our dresses, we all agree on one thing. Alice looks gorgeous. Her dress is a Cinderella style white ball gown, with spaghetti straps and a tight bodice covered in pearls and laces up the back. The back of the dress has a detachable five foot long train. This is Alice, she does nothing half way.

"You look so beautiful, Alice." Esme said sniffling.

"Thank you, Esme." Alice said as she smiled into the mirror.

"You know, Alice, it's not too late to go me and Emmett's route." Rose laughed.

Emmett asked Rose to marry her a year ago. After they watched Alice going crazy over wedding details for her own wedding they decided to forgo the whole thing and three months ago we all boarded a plane and attended their wedding in Las Vegas. Their wedding was nice and elegant and they didn't have to plan a single thing. Neither Rosalie nor Emmett cared about the wedding, they just wanted to be married, so a Vegas wedding was perfect for them.

Alice was appalled at Rose's comment. "We should run off and elope in Vegas? And what next? Move into a trailer park?"

"Hey." Rose said, hand to her chest feigning hurt.

"Ignore her, Alice." Esme said. "Your look gorgeous and your wedding is going to be beautiful and perfect."

"Oh, my goodness. Look at her!" Alice squealed as the saleswomen walked Bree into the room.

Bree stood next to Alice and posed, modeling off her flower girl dress. Bree's dress is a small copy of Alice's dress. We all looked at Alice and Bree in awe. The both of them looked completely and utterly stunning.

As Alice went into the dressing room to remove her dress, Rose and I looked at ourselves in the mirror. The bridesmaids dresses Alice picked were simple and elegant, but the color left something to be desired.

"It looks like baby food." I mumbled.

"More like baby _shit_." Rose said.

Rose turned to Bree who was sitting in the chair kicking her feet back and forth waiting patiently.

"Bree, what do you think? Do I pretty?"

"Yes." Bree answered immediately.

"Does the dress look pretty?" Rose asked.

Bree tipped her head to one side and said, "_You_ look pretty."

"See! Even a three year old thinks this color is ugly." Rose said throwing her arms up.

"Oh Rose." Esme said as she came out of the dressing room wearing her dress. "You can make anything look gorgeous. Alice just wants to be center of attention and we all know that's hard to accomplish with you around."

"Oh, Esme, please." Rose blushed waving her hand dismissively.

"Alright let's get out of here." Alice said as we all left the dress shop with our dresses in hand and ready for the big day.

After we left there we went to the flower shop and make the final arrangements on the flowers, the catering company, the hall for the reception, and finally to a restaurant to eat some lunch.

"Everything seems to be done." Alice said as we looked over our menus.

"Three more days and you will be Mrs. Japer Whitlock. Are you nervous?" I asked.

"I am." Alice admitted. "I am really excited about marrying Jasper. But, I just have a feeling something is not going to go right."

"Everything is going to go perfect." Esme said. "Everything is planned and ready and all you have to concentrate on now is walking down the isle. Then we have to wait until the next wedding."

I nervously looked up to see everybody looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I am going to marry Embry when I'm fifty." Bree said suddenly.

"Why when you're fifty?" I asked, thankful that the attention was taken off of me.

"I told daddy that I was going to marry Embry and he said I can get married when I'm fifty."

We all laughed. It sounded like something Edward would tell her.

"I can just imagine that conversation." I laughed.

"I bet Edward had a heart attack when she mentioned marriage." Esme said. "Edward is so protective of her, especially when it comes to Embry."

"Don't worry, Bree." I said. "I will talk to daddy and see about moving your wedding date up a few years."

Bree smiled up at me and we all chuckled.

"So, now all the wedding plans are done and all that's left is to show up tonight and enjoy yourself." I said to Alice.

"What are the plans for tonight?" She asked.

"We are going to leave from my apartment about eight tonight and head to a secret location that you don't need to worry about right now. Leah is going to take Bree and Embry to the babysitters and meet us there." I explained.

Rose and I had very little input on the wedding, which we understand completely. But the bachelorette party…that was all ours! We have been planning it for months, and we are very excited about it.

"Are you going to be drinking tonight, Esme?" Rose asked.

"Do you think because I am a wife and mother that I don't like to let loose once in a while?" Esme asked.

"No. I didn't mean it like that at all." Rose said quickly. "We have never seen you drink. You seem kind of…how do I say this nicely? Kind of prim and proper."

"Like a prude?" Esme smiled. Rose tried to object to Esme but Esme kept talking. "The stories I could tell you girls. My bachelorette party was insane. It actually lasted two days. We got so drunk we woke up in another state, so we decided to keep the party going while we made our way back home. Before I got pregnant with Emmett, me and my friends went out to a club every weekend. And by 'club' I don't mean the country club."

The thought of Esme drunk and in any kind of a 'club' besides a country club was a little hard to imagine. I couldn't wait to see her out tonight. Tonight was going to be a fun and interesting night.

~/~/~/~/~/~

"So what are the plans tonight?" Edward asked as he came up behind me while I finished getting dressed to go out.

"I would tell you but then I would have to kill you." I smiled. "Top secret."

"Hmm. Should I worry?"

I shrugged and smiled my most innocent smile.

"That is not real reassuring, Isabella." Edward said wrapping his arms around me. "I do like this shirt though."

Rose and I both are wearing black wife beaters that say 'Bridesmaid' on the front, on the back they say 'Taken, don't bother'.

"I am glad you said that." I smiled. "We have shirts for you guys too." Edward lost his smile.

I walked into the living room where everyone was waiting for us. I opened the bag and threw a shirt to Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Sam, James, and Jake. Alice was standing looking in the mirror at her shirt. Alice's shirt is a white wife-beater that say's 'Future Mrs. Jasper Whitlock'. She was topped off with a tiara that had a white veil that flowed down her back.

The guys put there shirts on and seeing all there muscles pop from there shirts, I immediately regretted it. Jasper's shirt was a white wife-beater that says, 'Future Mr. Alice Brandon', and Emmett and Edward's are black and say, 'Groomsman' on the front and 'Taken, Don't touch' on the back.

The shirts for Jake and Sam both say 'Whitlock Bachelor Party 2010'. The shirts for Leah and James say 'Brandon Bachelorette Party 2010'. James is coming with us. He's one of the girls, there is no denying it.

"Mmm…Future Mr. Alice Brandon. I like the sounds of that." Alice smiled at Jasper.

"It's not as good as the sounds of future Mrs. Jasper Whitlock."

Emmett walked to the door as someone knocked.

"Holy shit, mom." Emmett yelled. "Put those away."

Esme smacked Emmett's arm and walked around him and entered the room. Everyone's mouths hit the floor as she walked in. Esme looked about twenty years younger. Her dark hair was curled and falling around her shoulders. Her shirt that matched ours was cut down the front revealing her cleavage. Now we know what Emmett wanted Esme to put away.

When Carlisle removed his coat I think my eyes just about bugged out of my head. Who knew under Carlisle's normal suits or scrubs, he was built.

"Are you ogling my father?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"No." I squeaked. Yes…yes I was. Good God, there is a lot to ogle.

The wife beaters were definitely a bad idea for the guys. I'm sure all us girls were going to agree on that.

Carlisle and Esme's shirt's say 'Mother of the Groom' and 'Father of the Groom'. Carlisle and Esme aren't Jasper's parents but they have been practically raising him since he was a child.

"Alright." I said. "We are heading out. The babysitter will be here in the morning to drop off Bree and Embry. And I will see you later tonight." I wrapped my arms around Edward and gave him a long kiss.

"You better behave yourself." Edward said in my ear.

"You know I will." I smiled up at him. "You also better behave yourself."

"You have nothing to worry about. I only have eyes for you."

"Gag me." Emmett snorted. Rosalie smacked him and started her run down of rules for him.

"Don't forget the one rule." Alice said. "No strippers."

The guys all groaned as we headed out the door laughing.

We all ran to the limo we rented for the night, ready to get the bachelorette party under way.

"Are we really not allowed to have strippers?" James asked once we were all sitting the limo.

"I said they couldn't have strippers." Alice smiled. "I didn't say we couldn't."

"Oh thank, God." Esme sighed. "Man meat here we come!"

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I hope you all breathed the same sigh of relief that my sister did at Tanya's little joke.**

**I hope you liked this chapter and up next are the bachelor and bachelorette parties! **

**Leave a review and let me know what you thought.**

**For update notices and teasers, or just to chat...follow me on Twitter: mersedez_2001**


	19. Chapter 19: Party Time

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wanted to post this much sooner than this, but that didn't work out to well. It has been a busy couple of weeks with the holidays. But, it's here now and I truly hope you all enjoy it.**

**Chapter 19: Party Time**

**BPOV**

The champagne was flowing freely as we rode in the back of the limo towards our first stop on this bachelorette party adventure. We had only been in the car for about half an hour and we had already drained two and half bottles of champagne.

No one but Rose and I knew the specifics of the night we had planned. So, they were all surprised when we pulled into the driveway of Wanda's mansion.

"Well, what the hell?" Esme pouted. "I thought we were going to see strippers?"

"All in good time, Esme." Rose laughed as she climbed out of back of the limo and held the door open for us all to follow her out.

"Wanda wanted to attend the party, but she's still having issues leaving her house, so this is stage one." I said.

"How many stages are there?" Alice asked.

"Three." I answered."

"Or more, depending on how fucked up we get." Rose laughed.

"Well, my vote is to get fucked up and taking this night clean up to the wedding." James said as he looped his arm through Rose's and then the two of them skipped off towards the door.

We all got to the door and waited for someone to answer after we knocked. We stood there for a second before the door was opened by a tall, muscular man holding the door wearing nothing more than a pear of tight jeans.

"I am loving stage one already." Esme sighed.

"Welcome ladies." The man said. "If you will please follow me."

The man turned and led us through the house. We all stared at his ass as we followed behind him.

"Is it sad that I don't even care where he leads us, as long as we get to keep the view?" Esme asked.

We all shook our heads and answered with a unified 'no'.

The man opened the double doors to Wanda's huge photo studio and we were ushered in to see the room full of people and they all shouted "Surprise."

Rose and I had compiled the guest list which included all of Alice's friends and family, and her co-worker's. Rose and I had talked to Wanda about having the first part of our night so that she could attend. She was a little hesitant about all the people, but then agreed so that she could attend. Wanda insisted that she would take care of the decorations and food since she felt guilty that we had to change the destination for her- to me and Rose it wasn't that big of a deal. After seeing how excited Wanda was at supplying the food, we told her some of our idea's and then let her take it from there.

"Oh, my God." Alice said. "It looks like everyone I know is here."

"Pretty much." Rose said.

"You invited my mom, and my grand-mother?" Alice hissed.

"They insisted they attend." I whispered. "I'm sorry."

Alice had one of the grandmother's that ruled with an iron fist, and not only demanded respect but got it. She was a tiny woman that could put the fear of God you into you. Alice's mother was a whole other story. She was one of those soft spoken Suzy homemaker types that stayed home and cooked and cleaned while her husband worked. Her clothes were always pressed and ironed, her make-up always perfect, and never a hair out of place.

"Hello, mom." Alice said kissing her mother on the cheek.

"Allison." Her mother said and Rose and I giggled when she said it. Alice glared daggers at us. She hated that name with a passion. She begged her mom for years to stop calling her that. Alice had her name legally changed as soon as she was old enough. Obviously her mother still calls her Allison.

"I don't know how long we can stay; your grandmother needs to get to bed soon."

"I am not a damn child." Alice's grandmother, Barb, said, pushing her daughter out of the way. "Alice, dear." She gushed.

"Gran, what the hell are you wearing?" Alice asked.

"I didn't want to be left out." She said. We all looked to see that she was wearing the same shirt we were all wearing. And it was extremely revealing.

"You should be wearing more than that." Alice's mother, Lyn said. "You are going to get cold.

"Oh, hush it Lyn. Jesus, you act like I am a child and not your mother. Shut it for awhile. Doesn't your jaw ever like to take a break? I'm sure your husband love's that it doesn't." She mumbled the last part and mad a blow job motion.

"Mother." Lyn hissed.

"I'm surprised to see you here." Alice said stopping their bickering.

"I may be an old woman, but I like to live every once in awhile. Hey, you." She said smacking a guy on the butt as he walked by.

"Yes, ma'am?" He said.

"Get me a beer, and none of that light shit, I'm too old to start a diet now."

"Yes, ma'am." He smiled and walked away.

"Jeans have never looked so good." She said and walked after the guy.

"Mother." Lyn sighed and chased after her.

"I like her." James said.

"You go mingle." I said to Alice. "I am going to go find Esme and Wanda."

As Rose and I made our way around towards the kitchen I looked around the room to see the decorations. There was balloons shaped liked penis's and naked men, party favors covering every surface that were all crude but humorous, a large banner saying congratulations Alice all spelled out in penis's, and all the waiters were walking around in nothing more than jeans.

"Lyn is going to have a heart attack before the end of the night." I said.

"I know, isn't it great?" Rose laughed. Needless to say Rosalie and Lyn aren't best friends. Lyn always tried to keep Alice away from Rose saying Rosalie was a bad influence. She was probably right, but she couldn't separate us.

We walked into the kitchen to find Wanda and Esme at the kitchen island that was covered in food. They had their heads bent over something.

"This thing is huge." Esme said.

"I modeled it after Charlie." Wanda giggled.

"That big huh?" Esme asked.

"Yes, I realize now that my ex-husband was just practice for the big game."

I furrowed my brow and walked closer to see what in the world they were talking about.

"Oh, dear God." I said once I rounded the island and saw the huge penis cake they were ogling. "I would be impressed by this if you were not referring to my _father_."

"Sorry, Bella. I didn't see you there." Wanda blushed.

"I have always thought of Charlie as a hot dad. I never thought about what was under the uniform though. Impressive. Way to go, Wanda." Rose said while tasting the frosting.

"You all disgust me." I muttered as I walked back out of the room.

After a couple hours of eating, dancing, and mingling, the party was going great. Alice and pretty much everyone else was well past buzzed and heading for falling down drunk. Lyn was walking behind Alice trying to remove every drink from her hand, and Lyn's mom was walking behind her yelling at her to let Alice have some fun.

"Alright, time for presents." I announced. "Get over here Alice."

Alice came running. "Yay, I love presents." Alice plopped down on the couch in a very un-lady like way and of course missed the couch and landed flat on her ass.

"You alright?" I laughed as I helped Alice off of the floor and helped her to sit carefully on the couch.

"Yes, but I am going to definitely feel that in the morning." Alice laughed. "I will make Jasper rub my ass for me tomorrow...among other things."

"Oh, dear, Alice." Lyn sighed sitting down next to her. "I truly hope you are waiting for marriage."

"Oh, give your abstinence speech a rest, Lyn." Barb said. "What the hell did I give birth to? A nun? Here Alice open my present first." Barb handed Alice a small box and Alice took it excitedly.

Alice eagerly opened it and then looked confused. "Okay I know what the handcuffs are, but what is this?" She held up a small package that had what looked like small silver clamps.

"Nipple clamps." Barb said. "Trust me, you will thank me, and Jasper will love it. Look at this," Barb said staring down at the small plate that was on her lap, "wiener shaped wieners, that's just cleaver."

Most of the food was designed to be male parts. How Wanda did it all I wasn't sure, but I loved it.

"This cake is amazing." Rose gushed. "What is this frosting?"

"Nut cream." Wanda answered.

"Seriously?" Rose asked. Wanda nodded. "Nut cream on a penis cake, cleaver. Bella, are you going to have some cake?"

"No. I'm going to pass on the cake." I couldn't think about that cake without seeing my dad after walking in on their conversation earlier.

Esme snorted, enjoying my discomfort.

"I made some penis cookies at home, but they all got to big and baked together forming one huge penis cookie." I laughed.

After Alice was through opening all her gifts she had a whole new wardrobe of lingerie, a ton of sex toys, lotions and oils, and a toaster. I don't think it needs to be said who gave her the toaster.

After thanking Wanda for the great party and letting us use her house we headed out to the limo.

"Now, on to stage two." Rose yelled as she climbed -more like fell- into the limo.

"Strippers?" James asked hopefully.

"Strippers." I smiled.

The first part of the night was for everyone, this second was just for us. We decided just the closest to Alice would enjoy the strippers. In the back of the limo was now, me, Rose, Alice, Esme, James, and Leah. Anybody else who wanted to see strippers could take themselves there.

We all laced arms and walked towards the building in front of us. Once inside we were escorted to in front of the stage and sat in front of one of the poles that currently had a half naked man swing around it. Rose and I had been here a few days ago and made a deal with the owner to reserve us seats up front.

"Esme!" The owner yelled and wrapped Esme up in a huge hug. "I haven't seen you in what seems like forever."

"Oh, you know got married, had some kids, that old song and dance." Esme laughed.

"Well, we have missed you around here."

"As I have missed coming here." Esme laughed. "What?" Esme said as she sat back down and found us all staring at her.

"When you said you and your friends went to clubs I thought maybe the occasional dance club, I never thought strip club." I admitted.

Esme just shrugged and laughed.

The bartenders were keeping a constant flow of alcohol to our table. We were past the point of drunk and heading towards not remembering a damn thing from the night.

"Ladies." The MC said from stage. "I hear we have a bride among us." We all started screaming and pointing to Alice. "Come on up here Alice." He smiled.

Alice staggered her way onto the stage and sat in the chair that she was directed to. Once she was sitting the spot light came on and followed out two men that walked on stage wearing tuxedos. We were all screaming and throwing money on stage as the men proceeded to strip out of the tuxedos and dance around and on Alice. She was absolutely loving every minute of it.

"Oh man, that was great." Alice sighed as she sat back down at the table. "I can't wait to see Jasper in his tux now."

We were all drooling over the guy that was dancing his ass off in front us. He jumped up on the pole and my mind couldn't wrap around how the hell they could stay on it without sliding to the floor, since they were all covered in oil.

"You're really hot, but you're doing that wrong." James said.

"Well go show him how it's done, stud." Rose goaded him.

James got up from his chair and marched his way up the stares on onto the stage while we all chanted 'Go James'.

The stripper that was on the pole in front of us smiled at James and then danced his way to the other side of the stage. James stood in front of us and ripped his shirt off before jumping on the pole like a pro.

"You show them how it's done, James!" I screamed while shoving money down the front of his pants.

"What do you think the guys are doing?" Leah asked.

"Since Alice said no strippers they are probably sitting in the apartment getting drunk and playing cards." Rose laughed.

"Boooring." I slurred.

"Oh, wait, wait, wait I have a good idea." Alice giggled. "Shh, listen. Wait, wait. It's a really good idea, just listen."

"Alice, you're the only person talking." Rose sighed.

"Okay, good. Maybe we should give the guys a stripper." Alice said while eyeing James.

We all turned our heads to look at James expertly spinning around the pole. We all jumped up from the table. "Come on sexy, time to bounce." I yelled to James.

On to stage three.

**EPOV**

After the girls all left for the night we just sat around wondering what the hell to do. When Alice said 'no strippers' that blew all my and Emmett's plans to hell. Now we had to quickly come up with a new plan.

"What the fuck is this?" Emmett yelled from the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and looked at the giant cookie sitting on the counter. It was Bella's cookie debacle that she had spent all day on, and turned out much different than she anticipated. "It's a penis cookie."

"That's just messed up." Emmett said. "Let's go to a bar, get drunk and take the night from there. If we get drunk than end up at a strip club because we don't know what we are doing, we can't really be held responsible."

"Sounds like a plan." I said.

We all piled into Emmett's hummer and headed down the road to the hotspot bar. Emmett pulled up out front and the usual line that was wrapped around the building was absent. When we walked inside we almost had the whole bar to ourselves.

"Wow, this place is dead tonight." Emmett announced.

I went to the bar and got us a pitcher of beer and a round of shot to start us off. Everyone was drinking except Carlisle, who was on-call at the hospital, and volunteered to be the designated driver. Emmett and Jasper announced they would drink for Carlisle.

After about three pitcher of beer and a whole slew of shots we decided to leave this spot and find a bar that was more alive. After three different bars we were finally sitting in one that had a live crowd. Unfortunately, now that we found a place, Jasper was getting irritated by the girls that were here. Apparently when you had a sign on your back that you were taken, girls took it as a challenge to try harder. The fact that he was beyond drunk wasn't helping matters.

"Congratulations on getting married." Some random girl said as she rubbed her chest against Jasper's arm.

"Yeah, thanks." Jasper said scooting his chair away from her.

"So, you're not married yet, right?" The girl asked moving closer to him again. The rest of us were finding it hilarious. Even Carlisle who wasn't drunk, was laughing into my shoulder.

"In two days." Jasper replied.

"Well, than you should have some fun tonight before it's too late." The girl said while running her hand up Jasper's thigh.

Jasper suddenly jumped up from the table in which knocked his beer over into the girls lap. "Listen bitch, you look like a broke ass ugly stripper and my fiancé told me no strippers so maybe you should move along." He said to her while she was screeching and trying to clean her pants off with a napkin.

"Well, I have never…"

"Been put in your place?" Jasper asked. "My soon to be wife is all I need and so much better than you and all your little whore friends so all of you just leave me the hell alone. Let's get out of here." He said turning to us.

We all jumped up from the table and turned to leave.

"Hey, I think you peed your pants." Jake laughed at the girl as we left. She screeched again.

We all fell back into the hummer and Carlisle drove around while we decided what we wanted to do now.

"Turn here!" Emmett screamed.

Carlisle jumped and the hummers swayed. "Christ, Emmett." Carlisle sighed.

"Sorry. Let's go there." Emmett pointed out the window towards an arcade center with batting cages and go carts. We all agreed it sounded fun. But than again we were all drunk so everything sounded like it could be fun. Or we could at least make it fun.

"Try to act somewhat normal." Carlisle said to us all as we made our way inside.

When we walked in everybody got excited about a different game and everyone spread out in different directions. Emmett and I decided to go to the batting cages. Drunken guys and a batting cage probably wasn't a smart idea, but when were any of our idea's smart?

I was standing on the outside of the cage watching Emmett miss ball after ball.

"You really suck." A kid who came out of nowhere said.

"Shut up." Emmett growled. Emmett swung again and this time when he swung he staggered forward and spun in a circle and the ball smacked him right in the ass cheek.

I tried desperately to hide my laughed while the kid was full out laughing and pointing at Emmett. "See, I told you, you suck."

"Come on in here kid. I will use you as the ball." Emmett yelled.

"Please." The kid laughed. "You couldn't hit me even if I was standing in front of you."

Emmett swung the bat at the side of the cage where the kid was standing, and of course missed the fence and hit nothing but air. Emmett stumbled and grabbed the fence before he face planted on the ground. The kid was laughing uncontrollably and I was trying to not join in on his laugher -it was really hard not to.

"See. I told you." The kid laughed.

"It's like one in the morning. Shouldn't you be in bed? Why are you here?" Emmett growled. "Go tell your parents good parenting. And then kick them in the balls for even conceiving you."

"Whatever douche." The kid said and turned to walk away while flipping the bird over his shoulder.

"What a little asshole." Emmett muttered. "Thanks for having my back."

"He was like ten; I didn't think you needed someone having your back." I laughed.

"Come on! Go-Karts are calling our names." Jasper yelled as they all ran by.

"Fuck yeah." Emmett yelled dropping the bat and running after them, the kid all but forgotten.

The punk ass teen running the go-karts didn't want to let us on at first because we were drunk. Technically he tried to say we were inebriated, but he couldn't pronounce it and then gave up and just said we were three sheets to the wind. Carlisle reassured the guy that we would be on our best behavior and he would take responsibility for us.

Carlisle probably regretted that decision after the first go-kart we rolled. After that Carlisle was acting more drunk than us and turned the go-karts into bumper cars. We were the only ones left in the place so we just kept riding. The guy running it was busy talking to a girl, so he was paying no attention anyways.

"Your mine, you little bitch." Carlisle yelled from behind me.

"That's no way for a father to talk." Emmett yelled right before he clipped the back of Carlisle's go-kart causing him to spin out and run into a stack of tires. After that it an all out war, everybody after anybody and everybody.

About an hour later, we had flipped just about every one of the go-karts, broke one, and were having a ball…and then Carlisle ruined it.

"Guys, I just called into the hospital, so we have to go." Carlisle announced.

We all groaned and walked towards the car.

Carlisle apologized profusely about cutting the night short, while he drove towards his house. When Carlisle pulled into his driveway he said he would only be a minute.

"Alright then." Carlisle mumbled as we all fell out of the car and followed him towards the back yard.

"I gotta pee." I said after Carlisle went into the house to get changed.

"Me too." Everyone said in unison.

"Let's see who can piss the furthest." Emmett said getting up from the lawn chair he was sitting in.

We all lined up all giggling like a bunch of little kids. Mother would have been proud as we all dropped our pants and started peeing trying to outdo each other.

"Emmett move over a little bit, you are to damn close." I said. Emmett moved over, but it was towards me. "Dude, your stream just crossed mine!"

"You're fine." Emmett slurred.

"Now, my stream is contaminated." I pouted and moved away from him.

"I'm winning." Jake cheered as he peed down the side of the house.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Carlisle yelled when he came out of the house. "Those are Esme's rose bushes you are all pissing on."

"Mom's always telling us to water the plants." Emmett said calmly as he continued to pee on the flowers.

"I think she means with water not with urine." Carlisle sighed.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." Jasper said.

"Let's just hope it rains before Esme smells her flowers." Carlisle said. "I'm really sorry I have to cut the night short. I was having a really great time. And on a personal note I just want to tell you how proud of you I am, and I know you and Alice are going to have a great life together."

"Thank you, Carlisle." Jasper said wrapping Carlisle in a hug. "That means a lot. And could you not tell Esme about her flowers? I really don't want to die before I get a chance to marry Alice."

"Don't worry about it." Carlisle laughed.

We all staggered and crawled up the stairs after Carlisle dropped us off at the apartment. We were all yelling at one another to be quiet even though we are the only people that live on this floor.

"Let's play poker." Jasper suggested.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed the beer I had in the fridge while everyone sat around the table and Jake dealt out the cards.

"I'm hungry." Sam said from next to me. We all agreed but no one made a move to find some food.

"Let's eat the penis." Emmett said while he picked up his cards.

"What?" I said as we all just looked at him.

"You know, that penis cookie thing." He said waving his hand towards the kitchen. Emmett stood up and ran to the kitchen and grabbed the pan off the counter with the cookie on it and sat back down with it. He broke a piece off and shoved it in his mouth and moaned. "Damn, this thing is good."

"Could you please not moan while you are eating that thing?" I asked. Emmett was right though, the penis cookie tasted amazing.

"Do my hands look big?" Jasper asked while examining his hands.

"Yeah." I said. "But, the rest of you looks smaller. Are you shrinking?"

"Not again." Jasper mumbled.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. We all yelled, 'come in', to lazy to actually get up and answer it. A tall blonde sauntered into the apartment swinging her hips. "I am Jasmine and I will be your stripper for the evening."

"What? No, no, no." Jasper said. "We did not order a stripper, my fiancée said no and I am fine with that."

"I am a gift from an Alice, Rosalie, James, and Leah." She said.

We all just looked at each other not really understanding what was happening. Alice said we couldn't have a stripper and now they send one over? Something didn't seem right. Add in the fact that the room was starting to spin was making everything more hazy than it already was.

The stripper walked to the stereo and turned on the music then jumped onto the coffee table and started dancing. We all just looked on not moving or speaking, unsure of what was happening.

"I know people say everyone is better looking with beer goggles on, but are mine broken? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it this women butt ugly?" Emmett whispered.

"I think she has a penis." Sam said.

That comment made me snort while taking a gulp of beer and it shot out of my nose making me choke.

"No, I'm serious." Sam said seriously, proving his point. That made me laugh even more.

The girl spun around on the coffee table and was doing some serious air grinding then ripped her shirt off to reveal an extremely flat chest. I rubbed my eyes thinking maybe I was seeing wrong due to the blurriness the alcohol was causing.

My wondering was ended when Jasper, who had been sitting in a trance, yelled causing all to jump, "Where the hell are your boobies?"

"Did he just say boobies?" We heard.

The girls all walked into the living room laughing uncontrollably. "He said boobies." Rose chuckled.

The boob-less stripper ripped off the blonde wig it was wearing and revealed it was James and not a woman. "Did my strip tease not please you?" James pouted.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you make a really ugly woman." Jake said. James pouted again and then plopped into Jake's lap causing him to groan in pain.

"We dropped Esme off at home." Bella said. "But, she wants a total recount of what happened with your 'stripper'. She is going to love that Jasper used the word boobies. What are you five?"

Jasper just shrugged and mumbled, "Well, he didn't have any."

"So, what have you guys been up to tonight?" Alice asked.

"I ate your penis." Emmett blurted.

The girls burst into a fit of giggles and collapsed on the couch.

"Let's play poker." Jasper said.

"Let's play _strip_ poker." Alice winked at him.

"Hell, yes." Emmett said.

Everyone sat around the coffee table excited about the idea. We all passed out before the cards were even dealt.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. About the nut cream frosting that was on the girls' cake. I was in a store awhile ago and I saw a cake and I said it looked like some guy had some fun with it and I read the tag and it actually said nut cream frosting! I was tempted to buy it just because I could. Lol.**

**I love and appreciate all of your reviews and I know I totally suck at replying to all of them. I am going to try to reply to every one of them this time! See you soon with an update. Leave a review!**


	20. Chapter 20: I do's and hell you do's

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**Hello everyone! Thank you all for the reviews. I loved them all!**

**Here is Alice and Jasper's wedding, I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 20: I do's and the hell you do's**

**BPOV**

"We have so much to do today and you are just sleeping the time away." Alice screamed.

I pulled the blanket down off of my head and opened one eye to look at the clock. I groaned and threw the covers back over my head. "Alice it is five in the morning." I groaned.

"Yes, and we have tons to do." Alice sighed.

"Be thanking her." Rose said from the doorway. "She let you sleep in an hour and some of us didn't have that luxury." Rose walked closer to the bed and set a coffee cup on the nightstand. "I made it extra strong. I have a feeling we are going to need it."

Today was finally the day. Alice and Jasper were getting married. All of Alice's crazy planning and frantic last minute details were finally coming to fruition. Some of us were more excited that her craziness would end, than the actual wedding itself. No, we are more excited about the wedding.

"Come on, get up!" Alice yelled as she flew through the room again.

Nope, more excited about the craziness ending.

After I dragged my butt out of bed and showered to try and wake up I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast for the girls. Keeping to tradition, Alice and Jasper had to be separated last night. So we stayed in my apartment while we kicked all the guys over to Jasper's apartment.

I was dishing the eggs and bacon on to plates and Bree walked into the kitchen rubbing her little eyes.

"I don't like Aunt Alice anymore." Bree yawned.

I couldn't help the snicker that escaped my lips. Bree was definitely her father's daughter, and neither of them were a morning person.

"It's five in the morning, none of us like Alice anymore." Rose grumbled.

"After today crazy Alice will be gone and lovable Alice will be back." I laughed.

"I heard that." Alice said as she sat down at the table. "Now, after we eat we have to go. We have an appointment at the spa at 8 a.m. and that will take awhile."

Rose cheered up at that while I grimaced and Bree practically fell asleep in her eggs. I kept shaking her awake and every time I did she would glare at Alice.

After breakfast we all got dressed and made our way to the salon that Alice had us booked at. The day started to look better once the masseuse started her magic on my back. Even Bree was having fun, eating cookies and playing a game on Alice's phone.

"So, Bella," Rose said casually as we sat and got pedicures. "When is the next wedding?"

"Apparently in fifty years." I laughed remembering Bree telling us when Edward said she was allowed to get married.

"Oh, come on." Alice chimed in. "You and Edward are great together. What is stopping you from taking the next step?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I have never really thought about getting married. We live together, we love each other, we are happy, what difference is a piece of paper and a ring going to make?"

"Don't you want to be my mommy?" Bree asked from her seat not looking up from the game she was playing.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"If you marry daddy, then you will be my mommy." Bree said looking up towards me.

"Why do you say that?" I asked out of curiosity.

"That's what grandma said." Bree shrugged.

"Esme." I murmured.

"Don't you want to be my mommy?" Bree asked.

"Of course I do. You know I love you." I smiled.

"Can I call you mommy?" Bree asked shyly.

I looked around the room to see that everyone was silent and looking at Bree with a sad expression. After all the time she spent with Leah and Embry, Bree finally questioned Edward about why she didn't have a mommy. That was not an easy conversation for Edward, but he did a great job telling her the truth in a way she could understand.

"Umm…If your dad says he is fine with it than so am I." I said.

"Okay." Bree smiled and went back to her game.

"Esme is good." Rose commented.

"That she is." I sighed.

**~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~**

The spa trip had actually been great. It was very relaxing and we got our hair and make-up done so all we had to do was get ourselves dressed. They probably would have done that for us too, but it probably would have cost a lot more.

After I got Bree dressed I put my dress on and we were ready to go.

"Oh, she looks so adorable." Alice cried as we walked into the living room.

"Please don't start crying again." Rose sighed. "I don't want to keep fixing your make-up." Alice had traded in freaking out about everything for being extremely emotional about everything.

"I am going to go see daddy." Bree said.

"Trader." I whispered.

"Tell Jazz I love him." Alice said starting to cry again. Bree made a face while I opened the door for her.

After we got Alice calmed back down, and her make-up fixed again the door opened and Bree and Embry walked in the apartment arm in arm. Bree looked adorable in her little version of Alice's wedding dress. Embry looked just as adorable in his tiny tuxedo. They looked like a miniature bride and groom.

Edward walked in behind them and I think I might have moaned when I saw him in his tux. He looked beyond amazing. I wiped my hand across my mouth to make sure I wasn't drooling. _That would be embarrassing._

"Oh! Look at them!" Alice said clutching her hand to her mouth as she started crying yet again.

"Not again." Rose mumbled.

"You look beautiful, Alice." Edward said kissing Alice on the cheek.

"How is Jasper?" Alice asked. "Is he excided? Nervous? Getting cold feet? Has he talked about running away? Oh, God I am going to be left at the alter."

"Slow down." Edward laughed. "Jasper is a nervous wreck, but he is very excited and can't wait to say 'I do'. You have nothing to worry about."

"Okay." Alice let a huge breath. "I just need to calm down. Jasper loves me he would never leave me at the alter. I just need to calm down."

"Have you tried alcohol?" Edward whispered.

"No, but that is a good idea." I smiled.

"Mmm." Edward groaned as his eyes roamed up and down by body. "I must say Ms. Swan; the bride has nothing on you."

"Thank you." I blushed. "But don't let her hear you say that."

"I wouldn't dream of it. She seems a bit emotional today." Edward whispered against my ear. "How fond of this dress are you?"

"Not at all." I said breathlessly as Edward continued his ministrations on my neck.

"Good, because as good as you look in it, I can't wait to rip it off of you." He said as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

I took a deep breath trying to regain my bearings. It was not easy while he was doing that. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed slightly. "Okay, tiger, you need to stop or we are not going to make it to the wedding."

"You're right, but we are picking this back up later." Edward smiled his crooked smile, which he knew I was weakened by.

"That's gross." We heard behind us. We turned to see we had an audience and Bree and Embry were making gagging noises and giggling.

"I came over to tell you that the cars are here." Edward said. "We are leaving now, and than you ladies can leave. Let's roll Embry. Let the ladies get back to primping and priming."

Edward and Embry left after Edward gave me and Bree a kiss and Embry hugged Bree good-bye, causing Alice to tear up again.

Alice tried to catch a glimpse of Jasper out the window but me and Rose held her back so that she couldn't see him. It was her superstitious ass that said her and Jasper couldn't see each other before the wedding. We weren't going to let her break that now and then cry that we didn't stop her.

On the drive to the church we pumped some champagne into Alice to calm her down a little bit. She was guzzling it down and we were hoping she didn't wobble down the isle drunk. It was definitely calming her nerves.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked Alice as we waited to walk down the isle.

"I am more than ready." She smiled.

Rose gave Alice a big hug and then walked down the isle. After Rose I turned to Alice and wished her luck and then walked down the isle myself. I smiled at Jasper, who looked extremely nervous. My eyes traveled down the line and found Edward who was smiling brightly at me.

I stood next to Rose and turned to watch Embry and Bree walking down the isle. Embry was carrying the pillow with the rings and Bree was sprinkling flowers as they walked.

Half way down the isle Bree stopped and looked angry. "I'm out." She said as she tipped her basket over to show all the flowers were gone. Embry turned and ran back down the isle scooping a handful up and putting them in her basket. Bree smiled and they continued on down the isle. Bree came and stood next to me while Embry went and was fighting with Emmett, trying to get further up the line on their side.

Thank God we liquored Alice up a little or she probably would have had a heart attack at Bree and Embry stopping briefly.

Everyone stood as the music changed and Alice started walking down the isle escorted by her father. Jasper's face changed from complete nerves to a full out smile when he saw her.

As Alice's father placed her hand in Jasper's he said, "Hurt her and I will shoot you. Charlie isn't the only one legally allowed to carry a gun."

Jasper chuckled nervously and Alice slapped her fathers arm. "That will never be an issue." Jasper said confidently.

Alice's father smiled and kissed Alice and then took his seat.

As the ceremony went on I kept stealing glances at Edward who was also looking at me. Embry was all smiles as they asked for the rings and he held his pillow up for them to take the rings. After his pillow was empty Embry rushed over to Bree and stood holding her hand through the rest of the ceremony.

'I love you' Edward mouthed while Alice and Jasper said 'I do'. I smiled and mouthed it back. As Alice and Jasper kissed for the first time as man and wife Embry lead over and kissed Bree on the cheek. Rose and I smiled down at them, and I noticed Edward was glaring at them.

_Over protective daddy is not happy, _I thought to myself.

**EPOV**

The ceremony was beautiful and I smiled at the sight of Bella tearing up when Jasper and Alice said their I do's. My smile was immediately wiped away as I watched Embry lean over and kiss Bree on the cheek. He's cute, but I will smack the little bastard.

"Calm down, it was cute." Bella whispered as we walked down the isle arm in arm.

"How cute will he be when I hurt him?" I asked.

"He's five, Edward." Bella laughed.

"When my daughter is involved I don't care." I said.

"You're too cute." Bella said leaning up and kissing the edge of my jaw.

Alice and Jasper were all smiles as they walked into the reception, even though they were a little disheveled looking. I don't think any of us had to ask what they were up to in the back of the limo.

After dinner was served and toasts were given Alice and Jasper headed to the dance floor for their first dance. After their dance everyone was cheering as we blindfolded Jasper for the removal of the garter.

Jasper kneeled in front of the chair and was definitely getting into it as he lifted the dress above her knee and then proceeded to remove the garter using only his teeth while his hands massaged her leg. Jasper stood and had a huge smile as he removed the garter from his mouth and pulled the blindfold off.

"Oh, God." Jasper groaned and covered his face in embarrassment after seeing that he did not remove the garter from Alice, but actually Alice's grandmother.

"Thank you, Jasper." Alice's grandmother said kissing Jasper on the cheek. "I haven't had a massage in years. I enjoyed it." Jasper narrowed his eyes at Alice, who was laughing whole heartedly, and told her she was going to pay for that later.

"Damn, Jazz." Emmett laughed. "One Brandon woman wasn't enough for one day?"

"That was extremely entertaining." Bella laughed as we sat back down at the table.

"I agree." I said. "With as embarrassed as Jasper was Alice might not live through the night."

"We need all the single ladies on the dance floor for the throwing of the bouquet." Someone announced.

"That's you." Rose said pushing Bella out of her chair.

Bella was in the middle of saying she didn't want to when Bree ran up to us all excited. "Come on, Bella. Aunt Alice said I get to try to catch the flowers too." Bella had no choice to go as Bree tugged on her hand.

Bella stood in the middle of the crowd not looking thrilled. Bree was jumping up and down excitedly. Alice smiled and then turned around. She threw the bouquet over her shoulder and suddenly everyone, including Bree moved out of the way leaving Bella to stand there alone to catch the bouquet.

"Nice, Alice." Bella said after she caught the flowers. Alice laughed and blew Bella a kiss.

"Looks like you're next to be married." Rose said as Bella sat down.

"They all had a plan for you too Edward." Jasper said walking up to the table. "But I figured this would be easier." He said handing me the garter. He smiled and turned to walk back to Alice. "Congrats." He yelled over his shoulder.

"I have a feeling they are trying to tell you something." Emmett said.

"You think?" I said sarcastically. Emmett just nodded seriously.

"I want to get married, daddy." Bree said. I groaned.

"Yeah, I meant to ask you about that." Bella said. "Did you tell her she can't get married until she is fifty?"

"Yes." I said. "You think that's too soon? How about sixty? Or after I'm dead?" That might have sounded un-rational, but Bree is only three, I didn't want to think about her getting married and I didn't ever want to give her away to any man no matter how much he loved her, or how old she is at the time.

"How about more like forty?" Bella grinned.

"Bree do you want to dance with me?" Embry asked. Bree smiled and hopped off the chair to follow Embry onto the dance floor.

"Seventy." I said to Bella.

Bella nodded and said, "You're right," as we watched Bree and Embry lean side to side in there cute little slow dance.

_Maybe eighty._ I thought to myself.

As the song changed I made my way onto the dance floor where Bree and Embry were dancing.

"Will you take me to be your husband?" Embry asked.

"I do." Bree giggled.

"The hell you do." I said. I took a deep breath and ask Embry, "May I cut in?"

Embry reluctantly stepped back from Bree. "I will have my eyes on you." Embry said.

"That's what I'm saying to you, boy." I snorted.

I lifted Bree into my arms and we started dancing.

"Can I ask you something, daddy?"

"Anything." I said. I was nervous her question had something to do with Embry.

"Can I call Bella mommy?" She asked innocently. I was taken aback by her question. I wasn't expecting that all. "I asked Bella and she said I could if you said it was okay." She said before I could answer.

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"Yes, I love Bella and I want her to be my mommy." She smiled.

"If you want to call her that than you can." I said. I knew Bella thought of Bree as her own daughter already, so Bree actually calling her that would probably make Bella happy.

"When are you going to get married?" Bree suddenly asked. Bree smiled over my shoulder and held up her thumb in a thumbs us. I turned to see Esme and Carlisle quickly look away.

"Bella and I haven't talked about getting married." I said. "And don't listen to your grandmother, she is an old coot."

"She said you'd say that." Bree laughed.

They announced that Jasper and Alice were about the cut the cake. Bree struggled in my arms to get down while yelling, "Yay, cake!"

"Get her good, Jasper." Emmett yelled as we stood by the cake table as they cut the cake.

Jasper smiled a mischievous smile before he carefully held the cake in front of Alice's mouth and as she went to take a bite he wiped it all over her face. Alice tried to do the same to but Jasper dodged the cake. Emmett and I grabbed Jasper and held him so that Alice could get her revenge. He would pay us back eventually, but it was funny at the moment.

The music to the chicken dance started as we sat back down at the table. "Do people still do this at weddings?" I asked.

"We gotta do it!" Emmett said excitedly.

"No." I said shaking my head.

"Daddy!" Bree yelled as she ran up to the table. "Come do the chicken dance with me!"

"Yeah, come on daddy!" Emmett said pulling on my arm helping Bree to get me out of my chair.

I let them pull me up and I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her up from her chair. "If I have to go, so do you." Bella make a horrified face but followed behind onto the dance floor.

We all stood in a big circle doing the chicken dance. The chicken dance of course turned into the bunny hop and that was where I drew the line. Bella I went back to the table and watched as Bree and Emmett did the bunny hop.

Alice and Jasper went around the room saying their good-byes. I kissed Alice and gave Jasper a hug congratulating them again. The girls all squealed talking about how much fun they were going to have on their honey-moon in Hawaii.

Jasper has always wanted to go to Hawaii and he let it slip last night that he thinks Alice only wants to go to Hawaii in hopes of running into 'Dog the Bounty Hunter'. Jasper thinks Alice has a crush on Dogs sons.

"Could I have this dance?" I asked Bella after Jasper and Alice left.

"Of course." Bella smiled.

As I twirled Bella around the dance floor we stared into each other eyes. I was thankful Esme and Carlisle had taken Bree home with them for the night.

"I can't wait to get you out of this dress." I said burying my face in Bella's neck. I smiled as Bella moaned.

"Then let's get out of here." Bella said.

"I thought you would never say that." I smiled.

**A/N: Congrats to Alice and Jasper! I know most of you thought Jessica was going to crash the wedding, and after you all said it I did think about it, But Alice would have murdered her! I have a more evil plan for her. Muhaha.**

**Next chapter…our little Bree is starting school.**

**Leave a review…tell me your thoughts. I love to hear from all of you!**


	21. Chapter 21: It's off to school we go

**Disclaimer: SM owned everything Twilight related. The plot however is all mine.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I love them all! Thanks to everyone who has put this story on alert and favorites.**

**Chapter 21: It's off to school we go.**

**EPOV**

"She is starting pre-school." I grumbled. "Why does she need this much stuff?" When I went to school, everything was provided. Apparently now kids needed everything that could easily last them while a year in space.

Bella just shrugged as she helped Bree pick out the folders she wanted. I vetoed everything _Beiber_ and _Hannah Montana _related, but Bree has better taste than I gave her credit for and she laughed and told me she would never be seen with that stuff.

The list of items Bree needed to start school, which I held in my hands, was incredibly long and irritating. And standing in the middle of Wal-Mart was not helping my mood. I swear this store is for redneck family reunions. If you need to stand around and talk in a group, than at least move into an isle that no one shops in. Like lawn ornaments, go have a conference in front of the lawn gnomes.

"Just take a deep breath." Bella said. "We are almost done. We have all her supplies. All she needs is a backpack."

As we stood in front of the large selection of backpacks Bree held two in her hands and couldn't decide between them. I was tempted to just buy them both, just to get the hell out of here.

Bree placed them both on the shelf and backed up. "I don't know which one I want. Cinderella or Tinkerbelle?"

"They are both cute, Bree." Bella said.

Suddenly a woman walked right in front of us and stopped to look at the shelf we were currently looking at.

"You have got to be kidding me." I groaned. "Of all the rudest…"

"Deep breaths." Bella whispered, which she has been telling me for most of the time that we have been here. After three hours of people pushing, kids whining, and rude ass people like the one in front of me now, I was at my wits end.

"Are you almost done browsing there?" I asked rudely.

"Excuse me?" The woman asked as she turned around to face me. Holy shit, not only was she butt ugly but her breath could take down a horse.

"I asked if you were almost done." I snapped.

"Rude." She mumbled.

"Rude?" I asked incredulously. "You want to talk about rude? We were standing here trying to shop until some fat bitch came along and stood directly in front of us and we had to stop doing what we were doing. Now, if you don't mind, move your tank ass along."

"Well, I have never…"

"Brushed your teeth?" I asked waving my hand in front of my face. "Yeah, I figured as much."

"Jesus, Edward." Bella said after the woman stomped off. "Do you need some Midol for your cramps and bloating?"

I sighed knowing I was being a temperamental dick. I was tired of shopping, I was nervous about Bree starting school; I had a song that I was working on that the deadline was nearing, and something heavy weighing on my mind. I knew Bree and Bella didn't deserve my attitude, or any of that taken out on them.

"I'm sorry." I said. I kneeled down next to Bree. "Alright, which book bag do you like?"

Bree tapped her finger against her little chin and said, "Well, I like them both, but I think I am going to get the Tinkerbelle one."

I stood up happy, in a slightly better mood…that was until Bree spoke again.

"Embry has a Peter Pan book bag. Now we will match." Bree smiled.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. "That doesn't help." I mumbled. Embry, Embry, Embry…I hope Bree grows out of this little crush she has soon, I don't know how much more I can take.

After we checked out and got the car loaded, our shopping trip from hell was over. I thought about doing a little jig and staying a little prayer in the parking lot.

"How does dinner tonight sound?" I asked Bella as I drove through traffic. "Just you and me?"

"I don't know." She said. "Are you going to be pissy and mopey? Because I have to tell you, your mood lately has been a little annoying."

"I'm sorry about that." I said grabbing her hand. "I have a lot on my mind and I have not been handling it very well."

"Dinner sounds great." Bella smiled.

"What about me?" Bree asked from the back seat. "What am I? Chopped kidney?"

"I think you mean liver." I laughed.

"Liver?" Bree asked. "Uncle Em said chopped kidney."

I would have to question Embry about that.

**~/~/~/~/~/~**

I was standing in the living room waiting for Bella. I couldn't stop thinking about what Bree said earlier and I wanted to try someway to make Emmett say it without asking him outright. I was sure Bree just said it wrong, but knowing Emmett, anything was possible.

"So, Jasper, Rose, and Alice, if you need me for anything you have my number and you know what restaurant we will be at." I said. Everyone nodded and Emmett just furrowed his brow while he looked around the room.

"The fridge is stocked; you know where the movies are at. Anything you three need you where to look."

Emmett didn't say anything and I didn't know how else to make him say it. I figured I would just ask him about it when we got back. Bella came out dressed and ready to go. I scooped Bree up and gave her a kiss before telling her good-bye.

As I opened the door to leave I said, "Bye Alice, Bye Jazz, Bye Rose."

"What am I? Chopped kidney?" _And bingo._

Everyone was looking at Emmett like he was crazy and I started laughing.

"Chopped liver." I said.

"What?"

"The expression is chopped liver, not chopped _kidney_." Jasper said.

"That doesn't even make any sense." Emmett said.

"And chopped kidney does?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged and mumbled something about everyone being know-it-alls.

**~/~/~/~/~/~**

"So what has been the cause of the male pms lately?" Bella asked after we placed our orders.

"A few things." I sighed. "I'm nervous about Bree going to school."

"Aww, that is so cute." Bella smiled, I raised an eyebrow at her as she made fun of me. "Bree will be fine though."

"I don't think she is ready." I said. "I think we should try home schooling. Thousands of people do it."

"First off, do you know anything about home schooling? And second, do you even have time to do that?"

"No and no." I said. "But it can't be that hard plus I don't think Bree actually wants to go."

Bella actually laughed at me. "School is all Bree has talked about. She is very excited."

"Fine, yes she's excited. I'm not."

"There is a silver lining to Bree going to school." Bella smiled mischievously. I raised an eyebrow in question. "Bree will make a lot of new friends and she won't be all about Embry anymore."

I sat back and smiled, "Well, that does change things."

The waiter came to our table and placed our food down. He lingered a little longer than necessary checking Bella out. I think I might have growled at him.

"So, what else has been on your mind?" Bella asked.

"I have a song I have been working on for awhile and the studio is getting impatient and they have set a deadline on it." I explained.

"I'm sure once you work out everything that's been weighing on your mind, your song will come together."

"I hope so." I said.

"So, what else?"

"Umm…I uh, I wanted to ask you umm…about." This was awkward for me and I didn't even know why. "About what you think about all the pressure everyone is giving us about getting married."

"Oh, I haven't really thought much about it." Bella shrugged.

"We have never really talked about this." I said. "I thought maybe we should. Are you anti marriage?"

"I'm not anti marriage. To be honest I thought you were though." Bella laughed.

"No, not at all." I said. "Is it something you want?"

"I don't know." Bella shrugged looking uncomfortable. "Marriage has never been a high priority for me. But…maybe."

I smiled at her. "I was thinking the same thing."

~/~/~/~/~/~

"I told all my friends about Bree." Embry said.

"What did you tell them about her?" I asked.

Today was Bree's first day of school. Bella knew how anxious I was about it, but she had a meeting with her editor so it left just me to take her to school. Bella was so nervous for me that she was going to reschedule her meeting. After I reassured her I would be fine she left. Would I be fine? No, probably not.

Jacob and Embry came over this morning to walk with us to the school.

"That my girlfriend was starting school." He said and gave me a look that said 'duh'.

"Did your friends make fun at you for having a girlfriend in pre-school?" I asked.

"No." Embry said loudly. "Yes." He mumbled. Jacob and I both chuckled.

Once Bree was done eating her breakfast we headed out to walk to school. The school bus would normally stop to pick her up but I wanted to take her the first day, and maybe everyday.

Once inside the school Embry wished Bree luck and gave her a hug before Jacob walked him to his class. It was cute, but annoying.

"And you must be Bree." The teacher said when we walked in the class room. She held out her hand and shook Bree's hand. "I'm Miss. Angela."

I became a little more nervous once I saw this Miss. Angela. She had more of the librarian look going on than Bella did. What made me worry was the fact that she didn't look old enough to even be a teacher.

"You must be Mr. Cullen." She said. "It is nice to meet you. I am so glad to have Bree in class with us this year. We have lots of fun things planned." Bree looked more excited, I looked more nervous.

"You're the teacher?" I asked. Maybe she was the assistant, or a volunteer.

"Yes, sir." She said.

"Are you old enough to be a teacher? You went to college?" I blurted.

"Yes, I did." She laughed. "I am actually twenty-nine. I guess I age well. I still get carded at bars."

Great she just went from being too young to being an alcoholic.

"Alright, well Bree hasn't been around to many people other than family so she might be a little shy." I said.

"I think she is going to do just fine." Miss. Angela said pointing over my shoulder. I turned around to see Bree playing with a group of little girls.

"Well, that's good." I said lamely. "So, do you need like a parent volunteer for the day or something?"

"That's very nice of you Mr. Cullen, but no thank you I think we will be just fine today."

"Are you sure? I don't have any plans for the day."

"For the first month or so I don't ask for parent volunteers so that the kids can get used to being away from their parents." She explained.

"Okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense." I said. "I will just tell Bree good-bye than."

I walked over to Bree and kneeled next to her. "I am going to leave now, Bree."

"Okay, daddy." She said without looking up from the toys her and the other girls were playing with.

"Are you going to be alright after I leave?"

"I will be fine." She answered, still not looking up.

"If you are nervous it is okay. We can just go home and we can try this out another day." I offered.

"I am fine, daddy." Bree laughed. "You can go."

"Alright, well can I have a hug good-bye?" I asked.

Bree turned and tried to give me a quick hug but I held her tight and she giggled as she tried to squirm away.

"It is time for circle time." The teacher said. "Mr. Cullen, we need Bree."

"Sorry." I said to the teacher. I gave Bree a quick kiss and then she hurried off to join her class.

I stood by the door and watched as Bree picked her spot in the circle. I noticed a couple of girls had latched on to Bree and were trying to sit closest to her.

"We will see you at three, Mr. Cullen." Miss. Angela said.

_Pushy alcoholic teacher that probably didn't go to school,_ I thought to myself as I left the classroom and exited the school.

"Damn, Edward, I thought maybe you had left for home already." Jacob said as I walked down the stairs of the school. "You took forever."

"Bree was having a hard time with my leaving." I lied.

"Yeah, sure she did." Jake laughed.

"You can head home; I have some errands to run." I said.

Jake looked at me and smiled. He pointed over my shoulder and said, "I sat over there Embry's first week of school. See you at three."

So that was where I sat. All. Day. Long. I was stared at by female joggers like I was a predator. One cop stopped to ask what I was doing. After I explained that my daughter went to this school he guessed my daughter was an only child. After I confirmed that he was correct he laughed and told me this stage would pass quickly. Whatever that meant.

Geeze, can't a guy just sit outside of a school alone without being questioned about his motives?

Three o'clock seemed to take days to get here but as soon as it hit three on the dot I headed for Bree's classroom.

"I had a feeling you would be the first parent here." The teacher laughed.

"I guess I like my kid more than all the other parents." I said. "Are you ready to go?" I asked Bree.

"I have to go already?" Bree pouted.

"Yeah, but you will be back tomorrow." I answered.

"Alright." Bree said sadly and grabbed my hand. She didn't want to leave? What the hell?

"How about we go get some ice cream?" I asked.

She perked up at that and started walking a little faster after she waved good-bye to all of her friends.

"I want a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone with sprinkles, and could you please put a cherry on it?" Bree smiled up at the girl running the ice cream counter.

"You bet, princess." The girl smiled. Bree's dimple filled smile got her anything she wanted from anybody. When she got older I feared it was going to a deadly weapon.

I ordered the same as Bree, minus the sprinkles and cherry. After we got our order we sat at a table outside.

"How was school?" I asked.

"It was so much fun. I made a lot of new friends and I wrote my name and Miss. Angela said she was very impressed." Bree said excitedly.

"Well, you are a very smart girl." I said.

"That's what she told me. She also told me you would adjust."

"You need to adjust?" I asked. "It is a big new thing for you."

"No, daddy." Bree laughed. "She said _you_ would adjust, that you would get used to me being away from you."

"Doubtful." I grumbled. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Bree looked up from her ice cream waiting for me to go on.

"What do you think about me asking Bella to marry me?" I asked nervously.

Bree just giggled and rolled her eyes. "We have all been waiting for you to."

"So you think it's a good idea?" I asked.

"I love Bella and want her to officially be my mommy. So, yes ask her. Uncle Em said you need to man up. What does that mean?"

"It means Uncle Em is an idiot and don't listen to him anymore." I laughed. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow in that _give me the real answer_ way. I sighed, "It means I need to ask Bella to marry me."

"Well, than man up dad!" Bree squealed. "Grandma is going to be so excited!"

"Let's keep this a secret just between you and me for right now." I said. "Can you do that?"

"Yes." She answered as she finished her ice cream. "Can I help you ask her?"

"Of course." I smiled. "We are a package deal. I couldn't ask her without you. Do you want to help me pick a ring? You have better taste in jewelry than I do."

"Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice have trained me well." She laughed. "When can we get a ring?"

"How does right now sound to you?" I asked. I knew Bella had meetings all day so now was as good a time as any.

"Let's go!" Bree jumped up and grabbed my hand and we went in search of the perfect engagement ring.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm pretty sure you can all guess what's in the next chapter! To answer some of you, nope Edward's not anti marriage it just wasn't a step neither Edward nor Bella was in hurry for- not because they didn't want it but because they have been happy enough without it. But, I guess it's time to, as Bree put it, man up.**

**If you have seen anybody recommending this story, please let me know so that I can give thanks where it is due.**

**Leave a review- I love to hear from you!**


	22. Chapter 22: Happy Birthday Bella

**Chapter 22: Happy Birthday Bella**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**I am so sorry this chapter took so long! This has been a crappy month. I won't make you wait any longer. Enjoy!**

**EPOV**

"How about this one?" I asked holding out a diamond ring.

"Ugly." Bree said and kept browsing. Two hours! Two hours we have been at this ring search. According to Bree I have horrible taste. She has found something wrong with every ring I picked out.

I thought little girls were supposed to love anything and everything shiny. Apparently Bree is an anomaly. Bree has always been advanced for her age, doing everything early, walking, talking, reading, and writing. She has been talking full sentences sense she was a year old. She has even been playing the piano and she has been a natural at it. But this, this I was not expecting. Now she is apparently a God damn diamond expert.

According to her we needed the perfect ring for Bella. I agreed it needed to be perfect, but Bree must have a certain idea of perfect that wasn't in the same arena as my idea of perfect.

Bree walked away and was looking at a different display case. "I found it!" She screamed scaring both me and the sales man.

I walked over to Bree and kneeled down next to her to see what she was looking at.

"Right there." She pointed. "It's so pretty."

The ring was a heart shaped diamond set on a white gold band with a small circular diamond on either side of the larger heart. I had to admit, it was beautiful. It was not a huge diamond like most women wanted, but smaller and perfect like I knew Bella would love.

"It's perfect." I said to Bree.

"See, daddy." Bree smiled. "I told you I could find it."

"That you did, baby girl." I kissed her cheek.

"Come on!" Bree said pulling on my arm after I paid for the ring and it was boxed up. "Let's go ask mommy now!"

"Hey, slow down a little bit." I laughed.

Once we got outside I sat Bree down on a bench and kneeled in front of her. "We can't ask her just yet."

"Why not?" Bree pouted. "We have the ring; we want her to marry us."

"We do." I smiled. "But, we can't just run home and ask her. We need to find the perfect time to ask her."

Bree pouted for another minute and then smiled an almost evil mischievous smiled. "Bella's birthday is coming up."

Bree was a genius. "What would I do without you?" I asked.

Bree shrugged and said, "I don't know, but it would be boring."

"Can we keep this secret until then?" I asked hopeful. "Just you and me. No one else can know yet."

"It's safe with me." Bree said then made a hand signal to seal her lips. I held my hand out for her and she proceeded to do some weird hand shake that I couldn't follow along with.

"Me and Uncle Em do that. He said only us cool people know it. Sorry daddy, I guess you're not cool like us." Bree laughed.

"Is that so?" I said grabbing her up off the bench and throwing her over my shoulder and I tickled her as she squealed and squirmed as we walked home.

**~/~/~/~/~/~/~**

**(2 weeks later)**

"So how is the whole leaving Bree at school thing going?" Jasper asked. "You able to leave yet? Or are you still hovering outside like a weirdo?"

"Poor papa bear can't leave his cub." Emmett chuckled. "I think it's cute."

"Shut up, ass wipes." I grumbled.

I admit I loitered out front of the school for the first few days. And I don't regret it. But, I have been doing much better leaving Bree for the day. Miss. Angela doesn't even have to repeat her need for me to leave anymore. I call that huge progress." They both just laughed at me.

"You just wait until you have kids." I said.

"The teacher will never be able to get Emmett to leave." Jasper said. "Can you imagine Emmett sitting in one of those tiny chairs and taking a nap with a bunch of kids?"

"I can picture him stuck in a tiny rocking chair drinking a juice box." I laughed.

Emmett grumbled from the couch while throwing things at us as we laughed at him.

"Alright, alright." Emmett said. "So what do you have planned for Bella's birthday?"

"Just a small get together." I smiled. "Bella doesn't want a huge fuss made. So, it's just us. No big bash."

I had tried talking Bella into a huge party, but she quickly squashed that idea. She said she didn't want to celebrate at all, but I talked Bree into begging for a party -it really took no convincing to get Bree to pout and Bella to cave.

We managed to talk Bella into just a small dinner at home with just family. She hates being the center of attention, so even to agree to that much was a struggle for her. Bree and I had big plans for her birthday though.

"It's going to be us and Carlisle and Esme and Charlie and Wanda." I said. "Just dinner and cake, nothing special." As far as everyone knew it was nothing special. Only Bree and I knew the real plans for the evening. I didn't know if Bree would actually be able to keep such a big secret, but she had. She has been doing much better at keeping the secret than I have been. I have had a few close calls where I almost blurted it out.

"Well, I hope she's not against the idea of presents because Rose and Alice have been out shopping all day." Jasper said. "And they have Bree with them so I'm sure they are buying out stores."

"Bella hates presents." I said.

"That doesn't make any sense." Emmett said looking confused. "What girl doesn't like presents?"

We all just shrugged.

"We need more balloons!" Bree yelled from the living room where we were setting up Bella's birthday party.

"You just like balloons." I smiled as I walked into the room with Bree. There were balloons everywhere along with streamers and a Happy Birthday banner. Bree just giggled as she handed Emmett more balloons for him to fill up.

We told Bella we were having a dinner and nothing else. That however was not the case. We decide that we would eat dinner while having a birthday party. Technically it was Alice and Rosalie who told me we needed to have a party and after they threatened me, I decided a party was indeed a good idea.

Alice and Rosalie agreed to take Bella out for lunch so that we could set up Bella's party without her knowledge. I kept it with just family as guests; I didn't want Bella to kill me any worse than she already was going to.

I looked around the room again to see that everything was set up nicely and just about done. With Jasper and Emmett's help we got it done pretty quickly.

"Daddy! Somebody is here!" Bree yelled as she came running into the room twirling in her white frilly dress.

I walked to the door and opened it for everyone who was waiting to come in. Just as I opened the door a flash of black hair shot past me. "Bree!" Embry yelled as he ran into the house.

"Sorry about him." Leah said.

"He's fine." I smiled as I opened the door wider to let in Leah, Sam, Jake, and James.

"Young love." Esme smiled as she walked in the door. "There is nothing like it."

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled.

"Bella is going to kill you." Carlisle laughed.

"That I know." I said.

"Bella doesn't know you are throwing her a party?" Charlie asked coming in the door.

"Not exactly." I smirked.

"I hope you're not fond of your balls." He laughed.

"Yeah, I kind of am." I cringed.

"Hello, Edward." Wanda smiled. Geeze this was a timely bunch.

"Hello, Wanda." I smiled back and closed the door.

I walked into the living room where everyone was talking. Everyone was here and now we just had to wait for the girls to come back.

**BPOV**

"He better not be throwing a party." I sighed as we made our way home. It had been a long afternoon. The girls took me out to a birthday lunch and then dragged me around shoe shopping- the worst of all shopping.

"It's dinner, Bella. Chill." Rose said.

That's easy for her to say, she loves parties. I hate them. I agreed to Edward's idea of a birthday dinner at home with friends and family, but that was only because he used Bree's pout against me and he knows I'm powerless against that. But I have a feeling they have more than that planned. One tip off is, Bree has been carrying a package of balloons in her pocket for the last week. And Edward has been extra sweet like he is trying to suck up for something he did wrong, or something he is _going_ to do wrong.

"Come on, let's go." Alice chirped as she jogged up the steps to my apartment. "She's coming." I heard Alice say. _Yeah real subtle, Alice._

"Surprise!" Everyone shouted as I walked into the apartment. I looked around the room at all the smiling faces and all the decorations and then settled a glare on Edward who was smiling apologetically.

"Aren't you surprised, mommy?" Bree beamed. "I picked out the balloons." Hence the balloons she's been carrying around for a week.

"You did a great job." I smiled. I couldn't stay mad while her beautiful face was smiling up at me.

"Your idea of a birthday dinner is pizza and chips?" I smiled as I wrapped Edward in a hug.

"Yeah, well, I can't cook and I thought it would be kind of rude to ask you to cook for your own birthday." He smiled that dazzling smile. "Are you mad?"

"Hmm, not that much but you will be punished later." I winked.

"I am looking forward to that." He smirked.

As we ate pizza and sat around talking and actually having a good time they decided I needed to be opening presents. I opened them quickly trying to get the staring at me over with.

I was given a spa day, new books, and a new laptop from Edward, which I was complaining that I needed. The girls gave me basically a whole new wardrobe. The boys claimed those were from them also, I joked that they were just too lazy to shop themselves.

I was given a lot of stuff I needed and wanted from everybody else. My favorite present was the one that made me tear up. It was a necklace from Bree that said 1 mommy.

"Thank you everyone for everything." I said genuinely. "I loved everything."

"Well, there is one more thing." Edward said nervously as he stood up and took my hand pulling me up from the couch. Bree jumped up and fled from the room and came running back bouncing in place next to Edward.

Edward had one of my hands and Bree took the other. They pulled me to the front of the room and suddenly both knelt in front of me on one knee.

"Oh my god." I whispered as every other woman in the room said it at the same time.

"What is happening?" Emmett asked getting up from the couch and getting down on one knee himself.

"Get up," Rose hissed, "and don't be annoying."

Emmett sat back on the couch looking dejected.

"Bella, from the first moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you." Edward smiled. "Well, actually the first time I saw you I saw a nerdy librarian." He laughed. "But, I quickly came to appreciate and love the sexy librarian side. The more we got to know each other the more I realized that you were the one for me. Every single day with you has been amazing and a blessing. Everything you do amazes me, from your writing, to your cooking, to the way you twirl your hair when you're deep in thought while you're writing, to the way you dance in the kitchen when you think no one is watching, to the way you have loved Bree as if she were your own.

"Absolutely everything about you, I love. As time has gone on I have come to the conclusion that no other woman in this world compares to you, and there is no other woman in this world for me. You are it. You are who I love and who I want to grow old with. I have loved playing house with you over the years, but I think it's time we stop playing and make us an official family."

Edward stopped talking and turned his head to smile at Bree. Edward released my hand so I could wipe some of the tears from my face before he took it back again.

"Mommy." Bree smiled and I made a choking sound as I tried to not cry harder. "I was so happy when daddy told me he was going to ask you to marry him. I know babies can't pick their parents, but I am so glad you picked me. You are the mommy I would have picked if I could have. I love you as my mommy, and I want you to be my real mommy forever."

They both gripped my hands tighter and held a ring together and said in unison, "Will you marry us?"

"Yes." I sobbed.

After slipping the ring on my finger, Edward stood and picked me up and spun me in a circle while everyone in the room was clapping and crying.

"That was so sweet." James cried.

Everyone was standing and giving their congratulations and hugs when we heard behind us, "Is this my welcome home party?"

We all turned to the newcomer in shock.

"Jessica." Edward growled.

"Get me a rolling pin." Esme said seriously to Carlisle.

**A/N: So there is the proposal! I hope you all liked it. And Jessica is finally here. Yay! I was going to save her for the next chapter, but since I have kept you all waiting forever for this chapter and its short I thought I would give you an extra something.**

**The next chapter will be out soon! Leave a review! I love them all!**


	23. Chapter 23:Drunken confessions

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight.**

**Thank you to everyone who added this story to favorites and alerts! The last chapter had a huge response from you lovely readers. I loved every review! I'm sorry I am such a fail on replying to reviews, but know I read and love them all!**

**Chapter 22: Drunken confessions**

**EPOV**

Fucking Jessica.

Of course she would come along to ruin the most perfect and memorable moment of my life. Bella said 'yes' and now I couldn't even celebrate because the biggest bitch of the west was standing in my living room, delusional enough to think we would celebrate her homecoming.

"Well don't all speak at once." Jessica smiled. I noticed from my peripheral vision that not only I, but everyone in the room was staring at Jessica not saying a word. I think I heard something about a rolling pin, and that was last someone spoke.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked shocked.

"Come on Bree; let's go play a game in your room." Embry said grabbing Bree by the hand and pulling her from the room. For the first time ever I was thankful that Embry was there.

Maybe I should lighten up on him. That's a maybe.

"She has gotten so big." Jessica said watching Bree leave the room.

"Again, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked impatiently. "And how did you know where I was? And most importantly, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Geeze, you're like the man of a million questions." Jessica laughed. "I'm here to see my family. I went to your apartment but no one was there and heard all the commotion over here, I knocked but no one answered. And I'm here to see my family. Does that answer all your questions?"

I was getting more pissed off the more she spoke. I was visibly shaking just from looking at her. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to show up here after five years. Five years without a single word, or letter, or a phone call, or a single explanation. I was brought out of my thoughts when Bella moved next to me and took my hand and whispered that everything would be alright.

I squeezed Bella's hand, and straightened my back as I let the shock fade away and the anger take over. I squared my eyes at Jessica and I could tell by her expression that she was a little frightened. _Good._

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I asked lowly. "You get pregnant and don't tell me. You have a beautiful baby girl and don't tell me. You leave her on my damn doorstep, alone. We don't hear from you for _five_ years. And you waltz in here like you own the place and ruin the happiest day of my life and actually think we are having a party for _you_? Were you dropped at birth?"

"Listen, I know you are a little upset with me, Eddie." Jessica said and I saw red.

"Oh, don't call him Eddie." Emmett mumbled.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. Eddie." I growled.

"See, don't call him Eddie." Emmett continued to mumble.

"Alright, I'm sorry." Jessica smiled. _Fucking smiled._ "We will start over. I want you to meet someone." Jessica turned and called for someone and a man walked into the room and wrapped his arms around Jessica.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet my boyfriend, Mike." Jessica said. "Mike this is Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and my mom Wanda. I don't know the rest of them, but that's alright they're not really important."

"Ow." I said as Bella's hand tightened on mine and her nails dug into my skin.

"Sorry." Bella whispered and kissed my hand.

"We are here for a reason." Jessica smiled. I really want to rip that smile off her face. "I came to see my baby girl. Bree! Mommy's here!" She yelled.

"What the he…" I began but was cut off by Bella.

"I really don't think you are getting through to her." Bella said. "May I try?" She smiled an evil looking smile and I waved my hand towards Jessica silently telling Bella to proceed.

"Listen here, bitch. Bree's mother is already here. She has been here for five years. That is not you. You may have given birth to her but you gave away all rights to her when you left her in a hallway alone for me to find."

As Bella talked she was moving closer and closer to Jessica. It was like watching her hunt her pray. It was entertaining and Bella was looking quite hot looking all scary and shit.

"Get her, Bella." Esme said.

"Oh, don't worry Esme. I'm just getting started." Bella said while keeping her eyes on Jessica. "This is my home, _our_ home." She made a gesture towards me. "And you are not welcome here. So get it out of your head that you can just show up here and try to see Bree. So take your scanky ass and your greasy looking boyfriend and get the hell out of my house."

"You can not talk to me like that." Jessica screeched. "This is my family."

"Let me just stop you right there." Bella interrupted. "That is my fiancé, my future mother and father-in-law, my future brother in-laws, my best friends, my father and my probably soon to be step-mother." Bella took a step closer and got right in Jessica's face. "And that little girl in the other room is soon to be my step-daughter, but I have never thought of her as a step daughter. I have helped raise her for five years while you have been out whoring yourself out around the world. Bree has always been and always will be my daughter. Now get the hell out of my house."

"Mom!" Jessica screeched. "Are you just going to let her talk to me like that?"

"Jessica, you are my daughter and I love you, but you have done some things that are completely unforgivable." Wanda said. "And right now I am trying to hold in my anger and you really don't want me to blow up with five years worth of anger towards you right now. Because chances are you might not live through it. I think right now you should just listen to Bella and leave."

"Come on, babe." Mike said pulling Jessica towards the door. "We can try to come back after everyone has cooled off."

Once Jessica and Mike left, the whole apartment erupted in chatter.

"Damn Bella." Emmett laughed. "I thought you were going to kill her."

"How clueless can one girl be?" Alice asked.

"I'm glad your ex isn't a bitch, Jakey." James said.

"Jakey." Jasper snorted.

"I'm glad she's not a bitch too." Sam said.

"Hey." Leah said smacking Sam in the chest.

"I don't know where I went wrong with her." Wanda cried.

"Carlisle, you can let my arms go now." Esme said.

"I'm sorry dear." Carlisle said letting go of the vice grip he had Esme in. "I was afraid you would have killed her if you could get up."

"You're damn right I would have." Esme sneered.

"I'm sorry your birthday was ruined." I said as I wrapped my arms around Bella. "This was supposed to be one of the happiest days we had."

Bella looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry your proposal was over shadowed. You were so happy until she came in. Do you want to propose again?" She smiled.

I got down on one knee and smiled. "Isabella Marie Swan will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

"Yes." She smiled. "I would marry you every single day if it made you happy and kept that smile on your face."

"Mmm. Marrying you everyday. That's a thought." I laughed as I spun Bella around in a circle.

"I got papers in the mail today." I said to Bella as I rubbed her feet while we sat on the couch.

"Like rolling papers?" She joked.

I smiled at her joke and said, "No, like court papers. Jessica wants custody of Bree."

"Ugh." Bella groaned while rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry Edward. She will never get it."

"I know." I said. "I'm not that concerned with it. I'm just afraid of how I will look in court if I don't let her see Bree."

"She has been MIA for five fucking years. Who cares if you don't let her see Bree? The judge will probably applaud you."

Bella and I both turned to look behind us to see Emmett coming out of the kitchen holding a gallon of milk.

"Sorry, that's just my opinion. I hate her for leaving my niece like she was nothing but an inconvenience. I mean Christ she left her on the doorstep like a damn FedEx package." Emmett rambled.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "And how long have you been here?"

"Oh, I have only been here for a few minutes." He said. "I came to borrow some milk. Rosie wants cereal and bologna sandwiches for dinner. I don't know why, I'm just happy I don't have to cook."

With that Emmett turned and left.

"He has a good point." Bella laughed. "But, it's ultimately your decision."

"I just don't want her to have anything bad to say about me." I answered. "I think I will just let Bree decide. If she doesn't want to see Jessica than I am not going to force her. I just wish she would have stayed away."

"We all do." Bella grumbled.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked Bree as I kneeled down in front of her as she sat on the couch. "If you say you don't want to I will tell her to get lost."

Bree smiled and said, "Its fine, daddy."

I had explained everything to Bree and gave her the decision to meet Jessica or not. Bree was hesitant and agreed that she would meet her as long as she never had to leave with her. I promised her that would never happen. Over my dead body would that happen.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I squeezed Bree's hand and asked her one more time if she was sure. She said she was and I went and answered the door.

Jessica was standing in the hallway with Mike. There was something about that guy that was unsettling. His blonde hair was slicked back making him look greasy and kept looking over his shoulder like he was expecting someone to jump out at him.

"Jessica, Mike." I greeted as nicely as I could muster.

"Hi, Eddi-ward." Jessica smiled. I groaned at the name slip and opened the door for them to enter.

I lead them into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Bella. Bella offered to leave while they were here, but I told her I wanted her here with me. I wanted her here as much as I needed her here. And I knew Bree was more comfortable having both me and Bella in the room.

Jessica sat down on the opposite couch next to Bree, and Mike plopped himself down in the chair and threw his leg over the arm of it like he owned the place. That is going to need to be disinfected later.

"Hello, Bree." Jessica started. "I'm your mommy, Jessica."

Bree smiled at Jessica and said, "I already have a mommy, so I will call you Jessica."

"Oh, alright." Jessica said dejectedly. "You are very pretty." She said while running Bree's hair through her fingers.

"Thank you." Bree smiled. "Grandma Esme says I get my looks from daddy. She also says I get my strength from uncle Em, my calming effect from uncle Jazz, my fashion sense from aunt Ali, my attitude from aunt Rose, and my smarts from mommy." Bree stopped and smiled at Bella and then said, "I am going to write books just like mommy."

"That's a nice goal." Jessica said. "I brought you a present." Jessica pulled a box out of her purse and handed it to Bree.

Bree opened the box and smiled a huge smile while she pulled the book out of the box and said, "This is my book."

"Yes, it's all yours." Jessica smiled.

"No, I mean mommy wrote this book for me." Bree smiled at Bella holding up the book.

A couple years ago Bella tried her hand at writing a children's book. She wrote a book of all her and Bree's adventures. It was very successful and Bella was happy she could share one of her books with Bree.

"See," Bree said showing Jessica the dedication page where her own name was written, "I already have this book. But, mommy always says it's the thought that counts. So thank you, I guess."

"You're welcome." Jessica smiled.

"Who's that?" Bree pointed to Mike who was looking around the room with his eyes like he was casing the joint.

"That is my boyfriend, Mike." Jessica answered. "He wants to get to know you too."

"What's wrong with his hair?" She asked.

I tried unsuccessfully to stifle the snort that came from me. I couldn't stop looking at his hair either. It was so damn greasy.

"Uncle Em had his hair like that once and grandma told him he looked like he wiped his hair with pizza." Bree said while looking disgusted at Mike.

"I think he looks nice." Jessica said.

"Hmm." Was all Bree said.

The whole conversation Bree was being completely rude and Jessica never caught on. I see know why Esme says she gets her attitude from Rosalie. Rose can insult you with a smile and you don't realize until later that it was an insult.

We all sat there in an uncomfortable silence for about five minutes until the front door burst open and Embry ran into the living room.

"Embry!" Bree shouted. Bree threw the book down on the couch and jumped up to hug Embry.

"Embry Black!" Leah said sternly as she walked into the room followed by Sam. "It is called knocking. Learn it. I'm sorry guys."

"Don't worry about it, Leah." I laughed. "After five years we are used to it."

"Maybe if Jake would yell at him once in awhile he would be more respectful." Leah grumbled.

"Jake is to big of a softy." Bella laughed.

"I and Embry are going to go play." Bree announced. "It was nice meeting you." She shouted as they ran out of the room.

"Nice to meet…oh. I didn't know you had company." Leah said noticing Jessica sitting there.

"It's fine." Bella said. "I just have to change my clothes and we can go." Bella paused and looked at Jessica. "Jessica? We are having a girl's night out. Would you like to join us?"

"What?" Leah and I said at the same time. I wish I could tell what Bella was thinking.

"Well, I'm Bree's mother, and you're Bree's birth…mother." She stumbled over the word. "We should get to know each other."

"I would love to." Jessica smiled.

"Great." Bella smiled. Not a sweet smile but a mischievous smile. "Mike can stay here with the guys."

Sam and I looked at each other then looked towards Mike who seemed oblivious that any of us were even here.

"I am just going to get changed." Bella said hopping up from the couch.

I followed Bella into the bedroom and shut the door. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Getting dressed." She answered.

"You know what I mean." I said crossing my arms over my chest and raising an eyebrow.

"I am just trying to get to know her." Bella said innocently.

"Uh-huh like I believe that." I smirked.

"It's true." Bella laughed. "And if she gets a little drunk and spills some secrets, who am I to stop her?"

"I knew you have an ulterior motive." I said wrapping my arms around her. "You're evil."

"Maybe a little." Bella giggled. "But you still love me."

"Only you." I kissed her. "Forever…and ever…and ever" I said between kisses.

**BPOV**

"Who's ready to live it up?" I asked as we met Alice and Rose by the car.

"Hell ye…what the hell is this?" Rose asked once she noticed Jessica getting into the car.

I closed the door after Jessica got in the car and smiled at Rosalie. "Oh, just getting to know Jessica. And maybe get her a little shit faced and see what she has to say."

"Clever. I love it." Rose laughed and then climbed into the driver's seat.

As we drove through town I kept trying not to laugh as I noticed Leah and Alice were staring at Jessica, who seemed oblivious. We pulled into Carlisle and Esme's driveway and Esme came walking down the stairs.

"This should be interesting." Rose mumbled.

I didn't even think about Esme when I invited Jessica along with us. I agreed with Rosalie, this was going to be interesting.

Esme slid into the back seat all smiles. That smile fell when she saw Jessica, and she growled. She literally growled.

"Sorry." Rose smiled at Jessica. "She hates you. It's nothing personal. Well, yeah I guess it would be."

'Sorry' I mouthed to Esme. She just glared at me and then glared at Jessica. Yup, going to be an interesting night.

We were sitting around the table doing shots and drinking whatever girly looking drinks the bartender brought us. Esme was sitting back in her seat sipping her drink while glaring at Jessica, which she has been doing for the past hour.

Every time we got a new round of shots Rosalie slid her shot to Jessica so Jessica was drinking twice as much as the rest of us. I wasn't sure if Rose was just helping with my scheme or if there was more to it than that.

"What's with all the water?" Alice asked Rose like she was reading my mind.

"Nothing." She shrugged. "I'm driving."

"Uh-huh." I said eyeing her carefully. "And your dinner of cereal of bologna sandwiches? That's just weird."

"Oh god, I hate bologna but when I was pregnant with Emmett that was all I ever wanted." Esme said. After Esme took a sip of her drink she sat up quickly and started choking on her drink. "Oh, my God are you pregnant? Please tell me you're pregnant."

Rose smiled and said, "I haven't told Emmett yet."

We all started yelling congratulations and rubbing Rosalie's stomach. Why? Because we could. The fact that it was annoying her was just a plus.

"We need a bottle of something over here." Esme yelled to the bartender. "We don't care what, we just need to celebrate!"

"Emmett is going to be so happy." I said.

"I can just hear him now telling Jasper he has the superior sperm." Alice laughed.

"You just got married." Esme said. "You have plenty of time. And then I expect tons of grandkids." The bartender set more drinks down on the table and Esme pushed a couple towards Jessica and said, "Drink up Jessica, we are celebrating. I was robbed of this the first time around." I was just hoping she didn't physically hurt Jessica because I would just sit back and watch. That's all any of us would be able to do.

"So tell us about Mike." I said to Jessica.

"Oh, he's great." Jessica smiled. "We have been together for the past five years."

"What does he do for a living?" Rose asked.

"He's a professional." Jessica said after slugging back another shot. We all stared at her waiting for her to finish her sentence.

"A professional what?" I asked after we realized she wasn't going to elaborate.

"Just a professional." Jessica shrugged. We were all fucking confused. I took that as he either didn't have a job or she had no clue what his job was.

"Are you guys getting married?" Alice asked.

"We are going to some day." Jessica said. "He says he wants to marry me, but he wants to save up to get me the perfect ring." That was a big fat 'no' on his end. More like Jessica is gullible and he keeps her around because she's good for something that makes her worth keeping around.

"Well, he sounds like a winner." Leah said.

After another hour of drinking and talking babies I was feeling a good buzz.

"How are you feeling Jessica?" I asked.

"I don't feel anything." She answered. Suddenly she sat up quickly and said, "Crap. Is it Tuesday?"

"No, it's Friday." Alice said.

"Oh, I think I was supposed to do something today." She said sitting back in her seat.

"What do you have to do on Tuesday?" I asked.

"Nothing." Jessica said looking confused. "Why is it Tuesday?"

_Perfect_, I thought.

"So, where have you been the last five years?" I asked.

"Everywhere." She answered. "Mostly out of the states. Like England, Holland, China, everywhere."

"What have you been doing?" Rose asked.

"Trying to make money." She answered. "Mike has been teaching me how to con. He is much better at it than me. He can con anybody."

"Why did you leave Bree on a doorstep?" Esme asked.

"A few reasons." Jessica shrugged. "I'm not mother material. I never wanted a kid. Mike doesn't like children. And kids kind of get in the way of con-ing people."

I was seeing red as she ticked off her reasons on her fingers. Alice rubbed my arm and told me to take deep breathes.

I took a deep breath and asked the one question I was interested in, "Why now? Why come back after five years and want her?"

"It's Mike's idea." Jessica said as she drank more from her glass. "I know she is better off with Edward, but me and Mike have hit a wall and we are out of money. Mike said since Edward is a successful song writer I could get good money from him for child support."

I smirk. Edward is going to love that little tidbit of information. "I think that's all we need to know." I said. "You guys ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah." Alice agreed. "I think we have all had more than enough to drink."

I swayed as I stood up and grabbed the edge of the table to sturdy myself. I guess sitting and drinking for over two hours without moving is not the greatest of ideas.

"Mike is going to be so pissed." Jessica grumbled as we made it to the car. "He doesn't let me drink, and I think I might be a little drunk."

"I think you might be too." Leah laughed. "We are over here, dummy." We turned and all started laughing to see Jessica standing alone at a different car.

"I think the best thing to sober you up is fresh air." I said once Jessica joined us at the correct car. "I have an idea." I said a little too loudly. I was feeling the effects of the alcohol. "You can walk back and we will drive along side of you."

"Alright." She agreed happily.

We all piled in the car and started driving slowly down the road as Jessica walked down the sidewalk.

"You truly are evil, Bella." Rose laughed. "I bow down to you."

"Thank you, thank you." I laughed. "How is your walk going Jessica?" I asked out the window.

"Good." She smiled and then walked into a mailbox.

"Oh, shit." Leah slurred. "She is going to get injured."

I took the scarf off Alice that she was wearing and handed an end to Jessica. "Here hold this."

Jessica took the end of the scarf while I held the other end and we continued on.

"Oh lord, I am going to be pulled over." Rose said. "Not only are we going two miles an hour, but now I have a human being tethered to the car."

"We will just tell the cops she is a balloon." Leah laughed.

Suddenly the scarf loosened and I looked to see Jessica had fallen and dropped the scarf. Rose came to a stop and I hopped out of the car.

"I will walk with you." I said.

I picked the scarf up and tied it around the hood on her jacket and told her to start walking.

"Look guys." I laughed as I held what now looked like a leash. "I'm walking my dog."

All the girls started laughing historically.

"Oh shit, I just peed a little." Alice laughed.

"Woof, woof." Jessica started barking causing us all to laugh even harder. I had to stop for a second because I couldn't laugh and walk at the same time.

"I think the fresh air might be making her drunken state worse." Rose said.

"Who cares?" I laughed. "I got information and a dog out of the deal."

Jessica started barking again at the mention of a dog.

When we got back to the apartment Carlisle was just pulling up to collect Esme.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" Carlisle asked.

"Walking my dog." I stated like it was a normal thing.

"Well at least you're obeying the leash law." He said.

"Carlisle, we are going to be grandparents again." Esme screamed as she made her way to his car.

"Esme." Rose hissed.

"Sorry." She said bashfully. "Goodnight girls. This has been too much fun."

I took the scarf off of Jessica's jacket before we went into the apartment. We walked in to find all the guys sitting in the living room and Mike was stretched out on the couch sleeping with his hand down his pants.

"What's up with that?" I asked pointing towards Mike.

"He has been scratching himself for over an hour." Edward grumbled. "We should think about buying a new couch."

"Oh good you're back" Mike said as her sat up. "Let's get the hell out of here." Mike walked up to Jessica and noticed quickly she wasn't standing to straight. "Are you fucking drunk?"

"Noooo." Jessica giggled dragging out the word.

"Go." Mike ordered pointing towards the door. "We will talk about this when we get home."

"Have a nice night, Mikey." Emmett yelled, and Mike flew from the apartment.

"Emmett and Jake have been taking turns scaring Mike." Edward laughed.

"Honey you stink." Jasper said as he hugged Alice.

"I might have peed myself while Bella was walking Jessica down the road like a dog." Alice started laughing again.

"Well, you are definitely going to have to tell me about that, but first let's get you in the shower." Jasper said while ushering Alice out the door.

After everyone was gone Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "You walked Jessica like a dog?" He asked.

"Maybe." I laughed.

"Your evil knows no bounds." He laughed kissing my neck. "Let's get you to bed and you can tell me all about it."

**A/N: I know you all wanted Esme to beat Jessica with her rolling pin. I wanted her to; I haven't totally ruled it out yet. But, we did have some fun at Jessica's expense and hope you enjoyed it.**

**Leave a review, they help me write faster! And most of you make me laugh like crazy, I love your evil plots towards Jessica!**


	24. Chapter 24: Hangover aftermath

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.**

**I apologize for the delay; writer's block has been a real nightmare lately. But, I worked through it and I think I'm set now. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 24: Hangover aftermath**

**EPOV**

"So, Jessica wants Bree just because they want child support?" I asked Bella for conformation as we lay in bed.

Bella had been telling me the story of their night out for the past half hour. Hearing about Mike and Jessica's plan was making me see red. Their plan might be sneaky and cleaver, but it will never come to be. I can promise that.

"That is what she said." Bella slurred. She definitely had too much to drink.

"And did my little spy get any of this on tape?" I asked.

Bella stared up the ceiling with a blank look on her face. "Dammmmmmn it! That would have been a good idea."

"It's alright. At least now we know her intentions." I said. "So, tell me about this 'walking Jessica like a dog' Alice was talking about."

Bella started laughing hysterically. I had no idea what was so funny, but Bella sure thought something was.

"I told Jessica that she would sober up if she walked home beside the car." Bella laughed.

"Sounds good so far." I said.

"She walked into a mailbox so I made her hold a scarf and we drove slowly walking her down the street, but the dumb ass fell so I walked with her. I tied the scarf to her back and walked her like a dog."

"I like where this is going." I laughed.

"The best part was she started barking." Bella said with a giggle/snort combo that actually sounded painful.

"You are so evil." I laughed. Now I understood what Bella had found so hysterical, because now I was finding it hysterical also. I would have paid good money to witness that.

I rolled over closer to Bella and threw my arm around her bringing my head near hers snuggling her neck. I licked up Bella's neck and she moaned, the noise shooting straight to my groin. I sucked her earlobe into my mouth and grazed it with my teeth then whispered, "I think your evilness deserves a little reward."

"I agree." Bella moaned. She slid her hand down my bare chest and straight into my boxers grabbing my hardened dick. "But, there is nothing _little_ about this reward."

"Oh, damn." I sighed as she squeezed slightly.

"Go get that new lotion I bought." She smiled.

I eagerly jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen to grab the bag Bella had stashed above the refrigerator. The girls had made an impromptu shopping trip to the adult novelty store. Bella bought some lotions while Alice and Rosalie's purchases were a little more risqué.

I threw open the cupboard above the fridge and pulled the bag down. In my haste to be quick, the bag dragged across the top of the fridge knocking everything down. Papers flew all over the kitchen.

"Damn it." I sighed. I set the bag down on the table and scurried around the room picking up all the papers. After they were all picked up I set them back on the fridge and ran back to the bedroom.

"I'm back. I made a damn mess out there." I laughed. "But, don't wor…" I trailed off as I looked down at Bella who had passed out while I was gone.

"Damn it." I said throwing myself down on the bed. "No more alcohol for you…ever." I mumbled as I covered Bella up with the blanket. I tossed and turned grumbling to myself and sighing loudly, hoping she would wake up. She didn't. I continued my grumbling while thrashing around the bed until sleep finally took me.

"Good Morning!" Bree yelled as she jumped on the bed early in the morning. I was bouncing and laughing as she jumped, chanting her morning greetings. Bella on the other hand was not enjoying it so much.

"Oh God, Bree, please stop." Bella grumbled as she placed her hands to her temples.

"Bree, honey, mommy's not feeling too good this morning." I said trying to keep the amusement out of my voice. "Stop jumping."

"I can't." Bree said as she jumped again. "Uncle Emmett told me to jump on the bed and mommy would be happy."

"Fuckin' Emmett." Bella grumbled under her breath.

It was apparent Bree had heard her when she froze from her jumping and her mouth hung open. "Aww, that was a bad word. I'm telling Grandma Esme."

"I'm sure she would agree with me this morning." Bella said. "I'm sorry Bree; I shouldn't have used that bad word."

"It's okay, mommy." Bree giggled as she continued her jumping. "That is a three dollar word!" Esme had started a swear jar for Bree. Every time someone swears around Bree they have to put money in her jar. The worse the word the money it costs. Bree will never have to work a day in her life thanks to Emmett's foul mouth. She is making a killing off of him alone.

Bella smiled and opened her eyes to look at Bree and cringed and threw her hands over her eyes and said, "Please turn the lights off."

"No can do honey, that's the sun." I laughed.

"Turn the sun off." Bella said. I laughed again. I knew I was enjoying her pain a little too much, and she would pay me back once her hangover was gone, but for the time being I was enjoying it.

"That's silly! You can't turn off the sun." Bree laughed and then bounced her way up the bed and threw herself down between us.

"Oh, God." Bella said and threw off the covers, jumped up from the bed and ran to the bathroom.

"I guess she really had to pee." Bree said.

After I stopped laughing I turned to Bree and said, "I told you mommy wasn't feeling good. Why don't you go out and put _Spongebob_ on and I will make you some breakfast."

"Alright." Bree said and ran out of the room.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Bella as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Like I was hit by a freight train." She said as she lay back down.

"If it makes you feel any better, Leah probably feels as bad as you do this morning." Bella looked confused and I said, "Emmett told Embry to do the same thing to Leah when he woke up."

Bella rolled her eyes and cringed.

I handed Bella some painkillers and water and after she was drifting back off to sleep I left the bedroom to make Bree some breakfast.

After I made Bree her smiley face pancakes I sat with her in the living room to watch cartoons. There were a lot of cartoons that I couldn't stand but seeing that it was Saturday the older kids shows took over quickly and those were easier to stomach.

Around noon I realized I was singing along to the show that was on. I looked around the room to notice that I was alone. "Bree!" I yelled. "Why am I watching _Big Time Rush_ alone?"

_Big Time Rush _was one of the shows I could stomach. It was funny and the guys weren't half bad at singing, but it wasn't a show I wanted to watch without my daughter. Emmett would have a field day with that one.

Bree came into the living room carrying her coloring book and crayons and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. "You always sing with this show." Bella giggled. "Uncle Em says you have a boy crush."

Before I could say anything to that comment there was a knock at the door. As I walked to the door I pulled money out of my pocket and shoved it in Bree's swear jar while muttering, "Fucking Emmett."

I opened the door and Jessica was leaning against the wall looking like she had also been hit by freight train. I couldn't contain the laugh that erupted from my lips. "Rough night, Jess?" I asked.

"You could say that." She said barely above a whisper. "Is it alright if I visit with Bree for a little bit?"

"Sure." I answered. "Where's Mike?" I asked looking down the hallway.

"He had something to do. I don't really know what, but he dropped me off." Jessica said as she pushed off the wall and walked towards me.

"We need to talk about something while you're here." I said.

Jessica looked up at me but I couldn't see her eyes, which were behind sunglasses, to tell if she knew what I was referring to. "About what?" She asked.

"Something you said last night."

"I don't remember most of last night. I could have said just about anything." She laughed nervously. "I was probably just running my mouth like normal. Don't listen to whatever I said."

"Now I am more than certain you know exactly what you said."

"We can talk about it later." She sighed. "I have a serious headache."

Jessica went to walk around me into the apartment and I caught a glimpse of something and stopped her by reaching out and grabbing her chin. I pulled off her glasses and she looked away while I examined the black eye she was sporting.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I'm clumsy." She said. I raised an eyebrow calling her bluff. "I am. I tripped and fell into a wall."

"You know, I have never understood that excuse." I said, releasing her chin. "What exactly is sticking out of walls that you hit your eye on? Doesn't make sense to me."

"Just leave it alone, Edward." Jessica pleaded.

"It's left." I surrendered. "But just know you are giving me a lot of ammunition against you."

"I know." Was all she said as she sat down on the couch.

"Hello, Bree." Jessica said.

"Oh, Hi Jennifer." Bree smiled.

"Jessica." She corrected.

Bree shrugged and said, "Jennifer, Jessica, whatever."

"Can I color a picture with you?" Jessica asked.

"Sure." Bree agreed. "Where is your friend?"

"Mike couldn't come today." Jessica said.

"I don't like him." Bree said. "He's weird."

Bree had a great sense of reading people and knowing exactly who she could trust and who she couldn't. And she told people like it was, I found it one of best qualities.

"You don't have to worry about him. He won't be coming back here." I said. I cut my eyes to Jessica and said, "Right?"

Jessica nodded and knew I was serious that he was not welcome here. Why Jessica was letting him knock her around was her business but like hell that shit was going to be done around my daughter.

"This day just keeps getting better and better." Bella mumbled as she walked into the room.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I pulled Bella down onto my lap.

"A little better." She said. "What happened to your face?" She asked Jessica.

"Jessica went toe to toe with a wall and lost." I said.

"That sucks." Bella said.

We sat in quiet as Bree and Jessica colored and I got sucked back into the world of teen drama on _Nickelodeon_. The door suddenly slammed open and Emmett came running into the living room and jumped up on the couch.

"I'm going to be a father!" He shouted as he jumped on the furniture. "I'm going to be a father!"

"Congratulations, man!" I said excitedly.

"Thank you." Emmett said getting down from the couch.

"Bella, did you hear me? I'm going to be a father."

"Yeah," Bella said without lifting her head from my chest. "Good job."

"Good job?" Emmett said confused. "Who the hell says _good job_?"

"Don't mind her." I laughed. "Hangover."

"Emmett, you just left." Rose said from the doorway.

"Sorry baby, I wanted to share the great news." Emmett said. He walked over to Rose and scooped her up from the floor and she squealed with surprise. "You need to stay off you feet."

"Emmett, I'm pregnant not dying." Rose sighed. Emmett just shrugged and set rose down on the couch. Emmett pulled Rose's feet up onto the end of the coffee table and put a pillow under them. "This is going to be a long six months isn't it?"

"You're already six months pregnant?" Emmett asked.

We all looked at Emmett with confusion.

"No, I'm three months pregnant." Rose said. "It's nine months total. I'm not an elephant."

"So, it's not a year?" Emmett asked. We all shook our heads.

I was watching Emmett as he was rubbing Rosalie's stomach and making plans for all the things he was going to teach the baby. I was watching while pitying myself that I missed out on that with Bree. Bella seemed to sense what I was thinking because when I looked down at her she was looking up at me.

"You will get that someday." She whispered.

"Soon?" I asked with a smile.

"Not right now with this killer hangover." She said. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, I called mom and dad; they are on their way over to hear the news." Emmett said.

"They are going to be excited." I smiled.

"I know." Emmett said starting to bounce with excitement again. "What the hell happened to your face?" Emmett asked as he noticed Jessica sitting in front of him. To tell the truth I had forgot she was there also.

"Ran into a wall." I answered for her.

"Scumbag size wall?" Emmett asked seriously.

Bella turned her head to look at Jessica. When she really looked at Jessica's black eye she cringed and buried her face back into my chest. "I feel kind of bad about that." She said.

"Why?" I asked curiously. "Did you do that?"

"No, but she told me Mike didn't like her drinking and we kept giving her more and more alcohol." She explained.

"Well, I have a feeling that isn't the first time that's happened." I said. "Do you really feel bad for her?"

"I said 'kind of'. I'm not growing a soft spot for her that's for sure." Bella said rolling her eyes. "But really no one should go through that."

"You have a soft spot." I joked.

"I am going to injure your soft spot." She threatened. I cringed. "How much longer do we have to deal with her?"

"Next week is court." I answered. "With everything she has given me to use against her other than the obvious of abandonment, she doesn't stand a chance. Then she can be on her merry way."

"What if Bree wants her around?"

"If she does than I won't stop it." I answered. "But Bree keeps calling her Jennifer just to piss her off."

I looked around to make sure we were talking low enough that Jessica couldn't hear us but and she was talking to Bree and completely ignoring us.

"I will get it!" Emmett yelled as he jumped off the couch after someone knocked on the door.

Emmett ran back into the room followed by Carlisle and Esme.

"So what is this big news?" Esme asked.

"Can I?" Emmett asked Rose. She nodded and Emmett turned to Esme and Carlisle. I noticed Rose gave Esme a weird look when Emmett wasn't looking.

"Mom, dad, Rose and I are going to have a baby!" Emmett shouted.

"Oh my god!" Esme screeched. "Oh, what a blessing! It's a miracle! Carlisle did you hear? We are going to be grandparents again!"

"I did." Carlisle smiled. "Congratulations Emmett, Rose."

"This is such great news. I am so happy. This is wonderful and amazing." Esme said as she started to cry. It was all very weird. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought it was a little over the top.

"Alright what's going on?" Emmett asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you mean?" Esme asked turning the water works off.

"Well, dad is a little under excited and you are a little over excited." Emmett said. "I expected a little theatrics, but this is Academy Award material."

Esme looked slyly towards Rose and Emmett caught it. Emmett whipped around towards Rose. "Rosalie, what the hell? You already told them didn't you?"

"I, um…kind of told Esme last night." Rose said guiltily.

"I knew." Jessica mumbled.

Emmett blanched and threw his arms up in the air. "Is there anybody you didn't tell?"

"I didn't tell Jasper." Rose said. "But…I did tell Alice so he might know."

"Jasper!" Emmett screamed.

It took about three seconds and Jasper came barreling through the door, Alice was running after him trying to catch up.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked frantically. "I heard a bunch of yelling."

"Did Alice tell you anything about me she shouldn't have?" Emmett asked.

"No?" Jasper said stating it more like a question than an answer.

"I am going to be a father." Emmett blurted.

"What?" Jasper asked looking shocked. "Are you serious?" Emmett nodded and Jasper grew a huge smile. "Congratulations, man!" Jasper said wrapping Emmett in a hug. "Congratulations." He said giving Rose a kiss on the cheek and rubbed her stomach, which she rolled her eyes at.

"Finally a real response." Emmett said. "Dad didn't really reacted, mom over reacted, Bella said 'good job'."

"Good job?" Jasper laughed. "Who says good job?"

"That's what I said." Emmett laughed. "Good job, your penis is in working order."

"I am going to make my famous cherry pie that you love, to celebrate." Esme said to Emmett. She picked up a bag that was at her feet and headed towards the kitchen.

Bella was starting to feel better and was sitting up talking baby talk with Rose and Alice. They were even including Jessica in their conversation, probably more of an obligation because she was there. Bree was all excited and Emmett was happy there was another person he could tell his news to- even thought she was sitting there through the news the first couple times.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and hopped up on the counter. "Smells good." I said to Esme.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"I can't wait for this pie." Emmett said as he walked into the kitchen. He leaned over the counter to see what Esme was doing and stuck his finger into the pie filling she was mixing. He stuck his finger into his mouth as Esme yelled at him.

"Emmett that is disgusting." Esme scolded. "Who knows where your fingers have been."

"My fingers are clean." Emmett said. "I licked them clean right before I stuck my finger in the bowl."

"So gross." Esme sighed. Emmett laughed as he walked out of the room.

"Bree wants to know if she can have some juice." Jessica said from the doorway.

There are juice boxes in the door of the refrigerator." I said.

Jessica walked to the fridge and grabbed a juice box. As she passed the counter she took one of the cherries out of the bowl Esme had sitting there for the pie. It happened so fast I would have missed it if I had blinked; Esme picked up the rolling pin and smacked Jessica right across the knuckles.

"Ow." Jessica said as she dropped the cherry back in the bowl and kept walking.

Esme sat the rolling pin down on the counter and patted in said, "I knew I would get her."

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Oh, Edward." Emmett yelled. "Come here a minute."

I hopped down off the counter and went to find Emmett and Jasper standing at the door. I looked beyond them to see Mike standing there. I walked past Emmett and Jasper and right out into the hallway causing Mike to back up quickly. Emmett and Jasper followed me out into the hallway, closing the door behind them.

"You, Mike, are not welcome at my house." I said.

"Calm down, I'm just here to pick Jessica up." Mike said nervously.

"Yeah, well from now on if you drop her off or pick her up you stay outside." I said as I inched closer to him.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" Mike raised his voice taking a step towards me.

"I don't know about him, but I have a problem." Emmett said getting right in Mike's face. Mike took terrified taking a step back from Emmett, but Emmett inched closer causing Mike to slowly walk backwards down the hallway.

"I don't care too much for Jessica, but I have a real problem with a man who puts him hands on a woman, any woman." Emmett said sounding more lethal than I have ever heard him. And Mike, who barely came to Emmett's shoulder and was half his weight, looked like he was about to piss his pants in fear.

"I don't know what that bitch told you, but she lies." Mike said.

"Like we would believe what you have to say." Jasper said. "Might want to be careful." He said with acid in his voice pointing out the stairs that were right behind him.

"Yeah, accidents happen that way." Emmett said evilly. Mike started heading down the stairs carefully not taking his eyes off Emmett.

"Let's go." Mike said to Jessica who walked to the top of the stairs.

"Oh, before you go Mike." I said with a smirk. "Your plan for Bree was cleaver, but it will never work. I will see you dead first."

"Yeah, Mikey" Emmett sneered. "We know all about your plan. Did you really think we wouldn't figure it out? Trust me, we know everything and we are always one step ahead of you."

Mike glared at Jessica, who stood quietly.

Emmett jumped from the top step and landed on the landing that Mike had made it down to, and got back in Mike's face. "Listen here you little piece of shit, if she has one more mark on her I will personally hunt you down and rip you limb from limb. You got me?" Mike nodded.

"You might want to change your pants." Jasper said. We all looked down to see that Mike had indeed pissed his pants.

"It has been a while since I have made someone pee themselves." Emmett said proud of himself. "My work here is done. Run!" Emmett shouted. Mike took off down the stairs like someone lit his ass on fire.

We all stood quietly as Jessica walked down the stairs after Mike.

"So what is this plan we all know of?" Emmett asked. "Because to be honest I had no idea what we were talking about."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Come on, I will fill you in."

**A/N:**

**I hope you liked this chapter. Esme finally got to use her rolling pin. She didn't beat Jessica with it, but at least she got a little piece of her. Next chapter is court, and will be out soon!**

** Christag Banners has made an amazing banner for this story. I love it and she did a great job on it. There is a link on my profile to it, so review then go check it out. Don't forget to review! **


	25. Chapter 25: Realizations

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. I wish, but I don't.**

**Chapter 25: Realizations **

**EPOV **

I fidgeted with my tie for the umpteenth time while staring into the mirror trying to get it perfect, but it just seemed off to me.

"Calm down." Bella said from beside me. "It's perfect. You're just nervous."

Nervous was an understatement. Today was court. Today was the day all the wondering of what was going to happen would end. I know I pretty much have this in the bag and I shouldn't be nervous, but I couldn't help it. You never knew what a judge was going to do. Bree's fate was in a strangers hands.

And I hated that fact.

"Everything is going to go great." Bella said.

"I know." I said kissing the top of her head. "I just hate not knowing what exactly is going to happen."

"I will be there with you the whole time." She assured me.

"I know." I laughed a nervous laugh. "That's the only thing getting me through the day."

We walked into the living room where everyone was sitting and waiting for us. Bree looked up from her coloring book and smiled, "You look handsome, daddy."

"Thank you, baby." I said picking her up and giving her a hug. I held on to her tightly, to reassure myself she was safe, and she wasn't going anywhere.

"Hey, man." Emmett said. "Don't look like someone kicked your puppy. Everything is going to go your way. And if it doesn't, we will just grab Bree and run off to Mexico or something. We could all use a vacation anyways."

"Great plan, Emmett." I said rolling my eyes.

"Can I go with you, daddy?" Bree asked.

"No, sweetie." I smiled. "We won't be long, and you have to stay here with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose. Make sure Aunt Rose doesn't eat all our pickles." I stage whispered the last part and smirked at Rose who was glaring at me. Pregnancy hormones were roaring today, not a day for jokes with her I see.

The best part about today was that Bree would not be there. I would be even more stressed if they made Bree come to court. She didn't need that, and I probably couldn't handle that.

"Let's get this show on the road." Emmett said heading for the door. Jasper followed behind him.

Esme jumped up from the couch and said, "Let's go."

"You're going?" I asked.

"I'm your mother, of course I'm going." She said.

I guess this was going to be a family affair.

The ride to the court house was a quiet one. Bella sat next to me in the back seat and held my hand, while I rocked slightly with my nerves growing. As we pulled up to the court building and started getting out of the car I caught sight of Jessica walking into the building.

As I watched Mike walk in behind her my nerves were out shadowed by my anger. I straightened up and said to myself 'things will go my way today. And then they can stay away forever.' I grabbed Bella's hand and we walked into the building with the confidence of people that were here to get what they wanted.

As we walked into the waiting room, Jessica was nowhere to be seen but Mike was slouched in one of the chairs like he didn't have a care in the world. He was wearing a dirty shirt and ripped jeans. That was really going to help Jessica's case.

As we were sitting down my lawyer, Mr. Jenks walked into the room. "Ready, Edward?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. I kissed Bella and followed Mr. Jenks out of the room, as everyone was telling me 'good luck'.

Mr. Jenks held open a door and I walked through and stopped when I saw the room was like a conference room with just a long table and chairs, and Jessica and her lawyer were seated at the table.

I had never been to court before, but I didn't expect it to be like this.

"What's going on?" I asked confused.

"A slight change of plans." Mr. Jenks smiled. I raised my eyebrows in question. "I think we should let Ms. Stanley explain."

We sat down across from Jessica and her lawyer and I waited for Jessica to explain whatever the hell it was she was going to explain.

"I dropped my lawsuit for custody." She blurted.

"What?" I asked dumbly, like I had heard her wrong. I was hoping I hadn't.

"I am not seeking custody anymore." Jessica said. "I had a long talk the other day with my mom, and Charlie, and Emmett."

I furrowed my brows when she mentioned Emmett. What did Emmett have to do with all this? He never mentioned talking to her.

"They pretty much set up an intervention." She chuckled. "They made me realize that I need a change. I already knew I did, but I think them pointing it out made me realize that I actually could do something about it."

"Okay?" I said it more like a question because I still didn't understand.

"Charlie and Emmett talked to me about Mike and made me see that I don't need to be his personal punching bag. I am not the best person in the world, I know that, I'm not even close, but I do deserve better than him."

"I agree." I said. She may have done some awful things, but no one deserves to be hit.

"Well, Charlie should be here in about fifteen minutes to arrest Mike." She smiled. "I'm pressing charges."

"Good." I said.

"Wanda made me realize that I have potential to be a better person. Before I found out I was pregnant, my mom had cut me off because I quit school." She continued. "She has agreed that she will pay for it if I want to go back to school. So, that is what I am going to do. As of next month I will be a collage student again."

"Good for you." I said. "I'm glad."

"Thanks." She smiled. "And it was Bree herself who made me realize that there is absolutely nothing I can offer her that she doesn't already have. All I could give her is a mother's love, but she already has that. I am so grateful that Bella has stepped up and became the mother that I refused to be. I know Bella doesn't like me, and I don't blame her, but I do like her and Bree loves her. I couldn't and wouldn't step between them."

I didn't really know what to say to that. I knew Bella was going to be ecstatic about everything Jessica was saying especially about not coming between her and Bree. And I couldn't dispute the comment about Bella not liking her, because it was true. Bella couldn't stand Jessica, whether it is do to personal opinion or because of Bree, I couldn't be sure.

"And she's good for you too." Jessica smiled. "I have never seen you so happy. And I never thought I would see the day when Edward Cullen settled down."

"That was just as much a surprised to me too." I laughed.

"So, that's that." Jessica said. "But, if it's alright with you I would still like to see Bree once in awhile."

"Of course." I said.

"Now, that everything is out in the open are we ready to see the judge?" Jenks asked.

"We still have to go before the judge?" I asked.

"Everything has already been dropped." Jessica said. "But, we have to see the judge for my first good deed from the new and improved Jessica." She sensed my confusion. "I am signing the papers for Bree's name to be changed to Cullen."

I thought my face might split from the smile I was producing. Not only did I get to keep Bree to myself, but she was also becoming legally a Cullen. This day went from what could have been the worst day to the best day, and I had a feeling it was only going to get better."

**BPOV**

After Edward left the waiting room with his lawyer, I moved to sit next to Esme. Jasper and Emmett stood and then sat in the chairs on either side of Mike.

"Hey there, Mike." Emmett said.

Mike physically tensed from the close proximity of the guys. He grunted in response and sunk lower in his chair.

"Oh, don't be like that Mike." Jasper said.

"Yeah, we are just trying to be friendly." Emmett laughed. "I'm a friendly guy. Aren't I a friendly guy?"

"You're a friendly guy." Jasper answered.

"See, I'm friendly." Emmett said.

"I'm not gay." Mike mumbled.

"I didn't mean that friendly." Emmett said. "But, now that think of it, yeah you could be."

"I see it." Jasper said.

"What are they doing?" Esme whispered.

"Your guess is as good as mine." I answered.

"I mean a guy that beats the crap out of a woman just to prove he's masculine." Emmett said shrugging.

"Could be one of two things." Jasper said. "He's not secure with his own sexuality or maybe Jessica pointed out he's lacking…some size, somewhere important. Girls say size doesn't matter, but that's just something they tell small guys."

"Is that it little, Mike?" Emmett laughed. "Are you more of a Vienna sausage type guy than a foot long hotdog?"

"I am not gay and I am well endowed." Mike said defensively.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Emmett said.

"Emmett, give him the benefit of the doubt." Esme said. I stared at her surprised that she was agreeing with Mike. I should have known that wasn't the case. She is Emmett's mother. "I think the real problem is that his equipment isn't working at all."

"Oh, damn." Emmett said. "Is that the problem? Are you working with a limp noodle?"

"Can't get your cooked spaghetti to go through the doughnut?" Jasper asked making hand motions.

"Is that why you want Bree?" Emmett asked. "Because you're having equipment failure and you can't make your own children?"

"My junk works just fine." Mike yelled a little too loudly. "And one day I will have plenty of children."

"I think two things should happen to you, Mike." Esme said. "One, you should be pulled into an ally and flogged with a rubber hose just for being stupid. Two, you should have your nuts pulled off with pliers so that you can never reproduce."

All three of the guys crossed their legs and cringed. Esme and I laughed.

"I agree with you. But don't ever say that around me again." Emmett said. Jasper nodded in agreement.

"All of you can just fuck off." Mike said sulking.

"With our working equipment?" Jasper asked.

Emmett laughed and than said, "We will leave you alone. But, I have a little present coming for you in a few minutes."

Esme and I just looked at each other wondering what he was talking about. We didn't know. With Emmett it was best just not to ask questions, you just get more confused.

Esme and I sat talking quietly. Emmett and Jasper weren't saying anything but were still making Mike uncomfortable.

Suddenly Edward came running into the room and scooped me up in a hug and spun me in a circle.

"Did it go well?" I asked while laughing.

"Better than well." He said smiling.

Mike jumped out of his chair as Jessica walked in the room.

"Well, what happened?" Mike asked.

"I dropped the case." Jessica said.

"What does that mean?" Mike asked confused.

"I didn't go after custody." Jessica explained.

"What are you talking about?" Mike yelled grabbing Jessica by her arm. "This has been the plan."

"You might want to take your hands off her right now." Charlie said as he walked into the room. "And turn around, because you are under arrest."

Mike huffed and tried to fight his away from Charlie but it was useless. Charlie had him slammed against the wall and was slapping cuffs on him and reading him his rights before Mike had time to do anything.

"Are you enjoying my gift?" Emmett laughed.

"Have fun in jail." Jasper added.

Emmett laughed and said, "Yeah, I hope your equipment holds up in there! Tell Bubba we said hello."

"Thank you, Charlie." Jessica said.

As Charlie walked out the door Mike was yelling empty threats at Jessica.

"You have custody?" I asked focusing back on Edward.

"Forever." He smiled. "And her last name is now Cullen."

Edward held my face in his hands and stared at me with an intensity that just about took my breath away. As he looked into my eyes everyone around us was congratulating him, but he was ignoring them like he didn't even know they were there.

"Marry me." He said.

I looked at him with confusion. Was he proposing to me again? "I already told you I would marry you."

"No, I mean marry me right now." He said. "You don't want a big wedding anyways, and I don't care how we do it. We can have the justice of the peace do it. And you and Bree can become Cullen's on the same day."

I just stared back at him not knowing what to say. I was surprised into silence. Not only did he want to marry me, but he wanted to do it right now. He must have taken my silence and surprised hesitation as a rejection.

"No, you're right." He said. "You deserve something much fancier than this. I was just excited about Bree. I wasn't really thinking. There is no rush."

"Yes." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"Yes, let's get married right now." I smiled. "It's perfect."

"Yes?" He asked with a growing smile. I nodded and he picked me back up spinning me around again. We never really talked about when we would get married; we knew we wanted to at least wait until everything with Jessica was done. We were never in any rush though, but right now just seemed…perfect.

Once Edward put me back down we realized everyone was staring at us, not saying a word.

"You're getting married today?" Esme asked with tears running down her face.

"Yeah." Edward smiled. "No better time than the present."

"Oh my God, you're getting married." Esme screamed jumping up and down clapping. "I have to go call your father." She said then bolted from the room.

"I will call everybody that should be here and talk to the justice of the peace." Edward said. "Why don't you go get the girls and Bree?"

"I will be back soon." I said.

"I can't wait." He smiled.

I took a deep breath before I walked into the apartment, trying to calm my nerves a little.

"How did it go?" Alice asked.

"It went very good." I said. "Edward has full custody and Bree is officially a Cullen."

"That's great." Rose beamed. "I bet Edward is happy. Where is he?"

"Still at the court house." I answered. "Who wants to go to a wedding?"

"Who's getting married?" Rose asked.

"Umm…me and Edward." I said hesitantly.

They both jumped up quickly and shrieked with excitement.

"You're getting married today?" Rose asked.

"Yeah." I smiled. "Edward thought it would be perfect for Bree and I to become Cullen's on the same day."

"I agree." Rose said. "That is so sweet."

"We have so much to do." Alice said. "Hair, make-up, we have to get you a dress."

"Hold up Alice." I said interrupting her. "I don't really have to get real dressed up. It's just family."

"You did not just say that to me." She said looking angry. "Do you have any idea who you are talking to?"

"Yeah, I should have thought that out better."

"I'm ready!" Bree yelled running into the room wearing her flower girl dress and carrying her flower basket. Apparently she had been listening to us from her bedroom. "Are you and daddy really getting married?"

"We sure are." I laughed. Her enthusiasm alone made my excitement grow.

"Let's go!" She said and headed for the door.

"I guess we are leaving now." Rose laughed.

As we drove through town heading back towards my wedding I made a sudden stop and pulled over. The girls looked confused until they saw I was parked in front of a bridal shop.

"Dress shopping." Alice squealed. "My favorite."

Alice and Bree were in the store before Rose and I even got out of the car. We walked into the store and I was blown away by all the white. It would have been overwhelming had I not spotted the perfect dress right away.

I walked over to the dress to admire it. It was a strapless heart shaped bodice with an elegant flowing silk skirt that went to the floor.

"That's a pretty dress, mommy." Bree said. "Are you going to wear that one?"

"I think I might." I said.

"It's beautiful." Rose said.

"And it's on sale." Alice added.

"Is it wrong to buy a dress that's on sale for the biggest day of your life?" I asked.

"Nope." We all said in unison.

I tried the dress on and it was a perfect fit, and looked amazing. I paid for the dress and a pair of shoes and we headed to meet up with the guys at the court house.

"Edward set everything up and everyone who matters is here." Alice said as she finished with my hair, which she insisted she do. "I can't believe you guys are getting married today."

"Me neither." We looked towards the door to see Charlie standing there in a suit, which he was fidgeting with.

"Hey, dad." I said. "You're not mad about it are you?" I don't know why I thought he would be. But, I was paranoid none the less that he would be.

"Of course not." He laughed. "We all knew it was coming. We just didn't think it would be coming so abruptly."

"Well you know us." I said. "We like to do what's least expected."

"You are all done." Alice said while putting the finishing touches on my hair. "I will see you out there. Good luck."

"Thank you, Alice." I said.

The dressing room we were using was actually the public bathroom that we took over, and we were getting married in an office, but it just felt right.

"You look beautiful." Charlie smiled.

"Thanks, you look pretty handsome yourself." I said.

"It's not a tux, but it's better than the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing." He laughed. He became serious and said, "I have something for you."

"You didn't have to get me anything." I said as he pulled a box out of his pocket. "They're beautiful." I said as I opened the box and saw the strand of pearls.

"I know it's a little cliché to give you pearls on your wedding day, but they were your grandmother's and she wanted you to have them on your wedding day." He chuckled as he helped me put them on. "I know that's a little clichéd too. Eh," he said shrugging, "I'm a cliché type of guy."

"Thank you, dad." I said getting a little emotional.

"Everyone is ready." Bree said as she and Embry came running into the bathroom.

Bree and Embry were dressed in their flower girl and ring bearer outfits, recycled from Alice's wedding. Waste not; want not, that's a good motto.

"Ready?" Charlie said holding out his arm.

"As I will ever be." I said wrapping my arm through his.

"It's not too late to run if you want to." He smiled. I rolled my eyes at him. "Aren't father supposed to give their daughters the option one last time?"

"I don't need that option." I said.

"I figured." He said. "I would talk about what is expected of the wedding night but truthfully I would rather take a fork to the eyeball. Plus you and Edward have been living in sin for a few years, so I think it might be a moot point anyways."

"Oh, God, dad." I said not really knowing what to say. I did not want to have any sort of sex talk with my father.

"I'm kidding, Bells." He laughed. "Just trying to calm your nerves a little."

"Yeah, the mood went from nervous to awkward." I laughed.

"Yeah, I kind of freaked myself out too." He said. "Sorry."

We followed Bree and Embry out of the bathroom and into the office that housed all of my family and friends. I watched Bree and Embry walk into the room looking adorable.

Once Charlie and I walked into the room everything pretty much melted away. All I saw was Edward standing at the front of the room looking amazing in a sharp tux, his hair messy as always, probably from nearly pulling it out from nerves, that gorgeous crooked smile, and those mesmerizing green eyes staring back at me.

The ceremony was short, but it could have taken hours for all I noticed. Edward and I never took our eyes off of each other. Edward teared up while he was saying his vows and I couldn't control the tears that were streaming down my cheeks as I said mine. We exchanged rings and said our 'I do's'.

After Edward was told he could kiss the bride his lips pressed firmly to mine. We could have had a huge elaborate wedding. We could have flown in out of town guests. We could have spent millions of dollars on a wedding. We could have done a lot more, but this was perfect and I wouldn't change a single thing about it.

We must have been giving Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes a run for their money on the first kiss, because Emmett yelled, "Get a room." And everybody started laughing.

Edward pulled back and smiled. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I smiled.

I looked around the room and for the first time noticed everyone that was there. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Alice all stood next to us. Charlie, Wanda, Esme, and Carlisle stood back further along with Leah, Sam, Jacob, and James. I think James was crying more than I was.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, I think there is one more thing to figure out today." Edward said.

"And what is that, Mr. Cullen?" I asked.

"Where we are going to go on our honeymoon." He smiled.

"Let's go to Disney World!" Bree yelled.

**A/N: And there you have the court case. I sort of gypped you on the actual case, so I threw a wedding in there too. Congrats to Bella and Edward. Someone said they thought that after they did get married this story would end. Nope, I still got a few more chapters in me.**

**Everyone give Jessica a round of applause as she takes her bow and exits stage left. We will miss her. (No, not really) I guess Esme is going to have to find a different use for her rolling pin. Lol.**

**I hope everyone has a great holiday this weekend! If you don't celebrate anything than I hope you have a great weekend!**

**Leave a review! I love them all!**


	26. Chapter 26: Welcome to the world

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me.**

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews for the last chapter. A lot of you shared your own stories that related to Bella and Edward's wedding and their honeymoon, I thank you all for sharing those stories, I enjoyed them all.**

**Since Bella and Edward are married, and everything with Jessica is over this story could have ended, but I didn't want to…I'm not ready to say good-bye yet. Plus we all want to see Bree grow up, so we are going start some time jumps. So that there is no confusion, I will always say how big a time jump we are taking and how old Bree is.**

**Chapter 26: Welcome to the world**

**BPOV**

**6 months later (Bree is 6)**

"How are you doing, Rose?" I asked as I helped her sit on the couch in my living room.

Rosalie was ready to pop any day. She looked like she had swallowed the biggest beach ball you could find. We can't tell her that, however, because then the water works start and she says we all hate her. When someone asked her how many babies she was having, it was best to get out of the area before someone got hurt. Strangers always thought she was carrying twins. One poor little old lady almost got hit with her own damn walker. The pregnancy hormones have hit her hard.

"I snuck out of the house." She stated.

"You snuck out?" I asked.

"Yes." She sighed. "Emmett is on my last nerve. He doesn't let me do anything; he doesn't even let me walk. He carries me everywhere. I can pee alone, damn it!"

I tried, unsuccessfully, not to laugh at her. Emmett has been a bit much with how much he tries to take care of her.

"It's not funny." She glared. "I know most women would love the waited on hand and foot treatment, but it has been since day one! I can't take it anymore. So, I had to get out of there before I killed him. And I really don't want to be a single mother. I will be if he doesn't knock it off, but I would prefer not to be."

"I'm sure once you have the baby, he will be better." I smiled. I was pretty sure he would probably only get worse, but I didn't want to make her mad.

"You have the perfect husband." She said. "I'm sure if you were pregnant he wouldn't treat you like you were handicapped."

At the mention of my 'husband' I couldn't help but smile. We had now been married for six months and everything was great. We did end up going to Disney World for the honeymoon. We took Bree with us and had our first family vacation. Most women want to go somewhere romantic and exotic for their honeymoon, but I'm not like most women. Bree wanted to go, and we wanted her to go.

We did go to a bed and breakfast, just the two of us, the weekend after Disney World. That was a lot less family oriented.

While at Disney World, we decided that we wanted to expand our family right away. When Bree asked when she was going to have a little sister, it just made us realize we were right not to wait. We wanted more children, and the sooner the better. So since then we have been trying. Some times trying two or three times a day.

"Did I hear my name?" Edward said, coming into the living room.

"I was just saying you were a better husband than Emmett." Rosalie explained.

"Is he trying to carry you to the bathroom again?" Edward laughed.

"Among other things." Rose rolled her eyes.

Suddenly the front door swung open and banged loudly into the wall and Emmett ran in looking frantic. "Have you seen Rosalie?" He practically shouted.

"Jesus, Emmett, calm down." Rosalie said.

"I didn't know where the hell you were." Emmett said while taking a seat next to her on the couch carefully. It was funny watching Emmett trying to sit down lightly as not to jostle the couch and Rosalie. He sat down as if he himself was pregnant. "I didn't know if you were hurt, or fell, or was in labor and all alone."

"I'm fine." Rose huffed. "I just had to get away from my warden for awhile. And I don't think this baby is ever coming out."

"Sweetie, the baby is going to come when he is ready." Emmett said while rubbing Rosalie's stomach.

Rosalie smacked his hand away and glared at him. "HE might be a she, you know."

Emmett wanted to know the sex of the baby, but Rosalie wanted to be surprised. Emmett, who didn't want to cause Rosalie any stress, didn't put up a fight, so they won't know the sex of the baby until he or she comes.

"And my due date was last week. I don't think it's ever coming out." Rose huffed.

"Well, it is my child so it's going to be stubborn." Emmett said innocently. "Don't worry; the baby will be here soon."

"Look at me!" Rose yelled pulling her shirt up to reveal her stomach. "The baby has made a damn home in there."

"Damn." Edward whispered. I agreed with him. Her stomach was huge, belly button popped out, and stretch marks going everywhere.

"What is that?" Edward asked pointing out the stretch marks surrounding her belly button.

And queue the water works.

"Stretch marks." Rose cried. "People used to think I was a super model, now they think I'm a circus freak."

"Nobody thinks you are circus freak." Emmett laughed.

The tears stopped as Rose glared at Emmett. "Are you seriously laughing at me right now?"

"No." Emmett shook his head adamantly.

"Aren't there things you can do to put yourself in labor?" Edward asked.

"Like what?" Rose asked.

"Jumping up and down?" Edward said as a question.

"Ugh, I'm too tired to stand, let alone jump." She said. "What else you got?"

"I heard driving over a bumpy road works." I said.

"No." Emmett said. "Hell no. That is dangerous. I do not want my child to have brain damage."

"Have sex." Edward suggested. "That's a common one."

Rose looked at Emmett eagerly and Emmett shook his head.

"Your fears are just stupid, Emmett. Just stupid." Rose sighed.

Me and Edward looked at them with confused expressions.

"Did you know we haven't had sex in over four months?" Rose asked. I shook my head no. "Yeah, four months. All because Emmett doesn't want the baby to see him."

"See you?" Edward asked confused.

"I don't want my child to see my thing." Emmett whispered the last word.

"Your _thing_?" Edward laughed. "Emmett, there is no way your child can see your _thing_."

"It's not just that." Emmett said defensively. "I don't want to poke him in the eye or something." We all laughed at him whole-heartedly.

"Emmett, the doctor said it was safe to have sex." Rose said. "Hell, your own father, who is also a doctor, told you it was safe."

"Do you really want to take that chance? I don't." Emmett said. "I really don't want my child to be blind. And when he starts school kids will be like 'oh, why can't you see?' and our kid will have to answer, 'my dad is a horny bastard who couldn't wait a couple months and jabbed me in the face with his thing'. Yeah, not cool."

We were all laughing uncontrollably at Emmett. He just huffed and sat back trying to ignore us.

"He said _thing_ again." Edward laughed.

"It's a sad isolated place inside your head." Rose laughed.

"Whatever." Emmett grumbled. "I hate you all. And I'm well endowed, so it could happen."

"Oh, of course it could, sweetie." Rose said patting Emmett's leg. "Let's go take a nap."

Emmett jumped up off the couch quickly, scooped Rose up in his arms, and carried her bridal style as she squealed.

"Damn it, Emmett, I can walk. I have working legs, I'm not paralyzed." She complained.

"I know." He said but kept walking as if she hadn't said a word.

After they left I looked at Edward and said, "You're not going to act like that when I'm pregnant are you?"

"Of course not." He scoffed. "I'll let you walk to the bathroom." He joked.

**JDJDJD**

"Are you ready?" Edward asked as we lay in bed later that night.

I took a deep breath, stood up from the bed, and said, "As I'll ever be."

I walked towards the bathroom after grabbing the home pregnancy test off of the dresser. For the past six months, we have been taking pregnancy tests, once a month. We decided to take the test only once a month so that we wouldn't get our hopes up, then let down, more often.

After peeing on the stick, I set it on the counter then scrubbed my hands. Peeing on a stick isn't always the easiest thing to do. Did I pee on my hand? Yes, yes I did. You would think after doing this six times I would be better at peeing on the stick and only the stick. At least I didn't drop it in the toilet like the first time I did it.

After washing my hands, I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and waited. I was wringing my hands together and bouncing my legs. I thought I might bust through my lip with how hard I was biting it.

"How's it going in there?" Edward asked through the door.

"Alright." I answered. "Another thirty seconds."

I stood from the tub and took a few deep breaths to calm and prepare myself. I picked up the test and once I saw the results I started to cry. I walked to the door and opened it to find Edward standing on the other side of it.

"Oh, baby." Edward said once he saw the tears. Edward put his arms around me and pulled me into his tight embrace. "We can keep trying. We knew it might take some time. It's alright. We are pretty damn good at all the practicing, and it's pretty enjoyable. It will happen. We just have to be patient."

I knew he was rambling because he was trying to keep his own tears at bay. I knew how much he wanted this. He was just trying to be my hero, always my hero, and trying to make me feel better about the bad news of not being pregnant.

There was only one problem with that bad news…

I pulled back and looked up into his face and smiled. "We can still keep doing all the trying, but it will only be for our enjoyment. Congratulations, _daddy_."

Edward took the pregnancy test that I was handing him and he looked surprised, confused, shocked. His mouth was slightly open and he just stared at the test in his hand.

"I'm pregnant?" He whispered. "I mean you're pregnant? We're going to have a baby?"

"Yes." I smiled.

"We're going to have a baby!" He yelled and then spun me in a circle as I squealed from shock.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're going to have a baby." He kept saying over and over again, as he walked around the room looking like a caged animal. The only difference between him and a caged animal was the smile Edward had, I had never seen him smile so huge before.

"Let's celebrate. Let's tell everyone." Edward said while grabbing my hand, trying to pull me out of the room.

"Edward wait." I said. "It's after eleven and I'm sure everyone is sleeping."

"We can wake them." He smiled.

"I don't want to tell anybody yet." I said hesitantly.

"Why not?" Edward asked as his face fell.

"We should wait until we see a doctor and make sure this isn't a false positive." I explained.

"You're right." Edward said wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. "But, It's not a false positive. You're pregnant, I can feel it. Can you feel it?"

"I can feel it." I smiled. "I also want to wait until after Rose has the baby. This is her time. I don't want to take anything away from her."

"You're right again." He said as we lay down on the bed.

"I love hearing you say I'm right." I joked.

Edward rolled his eyes but smiled. "Well, than for the time being, the news is just ours. I love you." He said as he smiled at me.

"I love you too."

I fell asleep to Edward singing to my stomach.

**JDJDJD**

I sat up quickly as I heard a bunch of banging. I shook Edward who's sleep was undisturbed by all the noise.

"Hmm." Edward mumbled.

"Edward, what is that noise?" I asked frantically as the noise got louder.

Edward stayed dead to the world until the front door crashed open.

"What the hell was that?" Edward asked as he jumped out of bed.

"Edward, Bella!" Emmett screamed as he came running into the bedroom.

"Emmett, what the hell is going on?" Edward asked.

"Rose is in labor. We have to go to the hospital." He answered frantically.

I was up and out of bed throwing my shoes on before Emmett had the sentence finished.

"Alright, calm down a little bit." I said. "Do you have everything ready to go?"

"Yes, I called the doctor and he's waiting at the hospital for us. I called Carlisle and Esme and they are heading to the hospital. Jasper and Alice are getting dressed; Rose's bag is in the hallway ready to go." Emmett looked a little nervous as he said, "I kind of broke your front door."

"Again?" Edward exclaimed. Rosalie had gone into false labor last week and Emmett ran right through the door, almost as if he was on a damn cartoon.

After Edward was dressed and ready to go he scooped up Bree without waking her and we headed for the door that was now lying on the floor.

"You said you broke it, you didn't say you killed it." I said, as I looked at all the splintered wood scattered around the floor.

Alice and Jasper were waiting for us as we made our way over to the door and into the hallway. Jasper looked like he wanted to still be sleeping and Alice was bouncing in her spot.

"I called Jake." Jasper said with a yawn. "He's on his way over to fix your door. Again."

"Thanks, Jazz." Edward said.

"Aren't you excited? There is going to be a baby!" Alice exclaimed.

"Yes, so let's go." Emmett said as he picked up Rose's bag and headed down the stairs.

"Where is Rose?" I asked.

Emmett stopped dead and dropped the bag where he was standing. "Shit." He muttered. Emmett ran back towards their apartment, but didn't make it before the door flew open.

"Did you forget something, Emmett?" Rose asked fiercely.

"Of course not." Emmett said. "I was just making sure everyone was awake so that they wouldn't miss anything."

"You just left." Rose exclaimed. "My water broke and you started running around yelling it's time and then you just left me there. I had to get myself changed while having the worst pain in the world."

"I'm sorry, baby." Emmett said. Emmett helped Rose down the stairs and to the car. We all had to stop every few feet while Rose doubled over in pain. Once he got her in the car, we drove as fast as possible to the hospital.

"Alright, she is set up in her room." Emmett said when he came into the waiting room to update us on what was happening. "She can have one more person in the room with her. She said to come get Alice or Bella."

"Do you want to go?" I asked Alice, but by the look of pure terror on her face, I already knew the answer.

"No, I think I will stay here and take Bree to the gift shop." Alice answered.

I kissed Edward as I stood up and I followed Emmett into the delivery room. Rose was in her gown lying on the bed looking a tad bit horrible. I would never tell her that though. Her hair was down and messy, no make-up, face pink and sweaty, and she was screaming.

"Oh, it hurts." Rose cried. "I hate you Emmett Cullen."

"Aww, don't say that baby." Emmett said taking Rose's hand.

"Don't tell me what to do." Rose snapped. "This is all your fault."

"How are you doing, Rose." I asked. As soon as she whipped her head in my direction, I regretted the question.

"What a stupid question." Rose spit.

"I know." I said. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry." She said. "It just hurts so badly."

"I know." I said taking her other hand. "But, once it is over you will have a beautiful baby."

"Oh, God." Rose said looking to be in pure agony.

"This is going to be a big one." The nurse in the room said. "Try to breath through it."

"Oh." Rose cried.

"Ow." I said as Rose squeezed my hand tighter.

"Oh."

"Ow."

"Oh."

"Ow."

"Oh."

"Ow."

"I want drugs." Rose growled to Emmett.

"She wants drugs. Get her some drugs." Emmett said to the nurse.

"As soon as the contraction has passed I can check her and then we can discuss it." The nurse explained.

"Just give me something!" Rose yelled.

"Just keep breathing. It's almost over."

I was hoping it was almost over; my hand felt like it was broken.

Rose released our hands and fell back on the bed breathing heavily. I held my hand against my chest and tried not to show the pain I was in. Emmett went the opposite direction.

"Damn, Rose, I think you broke my hand." Emmett whined.

"Fuck your hand, Emmett." Rose sneered.

After the nurse did her exam on Rose she said, "It's not going to be long."

"Good. I want it out." Rose said. "Now, give me drugs."

"I'm sorry Rosalie, but you're to close to delivery to give you an epidural now."

"Oh, shit." Rose yelled as she leaned over with another crippling pain. I got out of the way before she could grab my hand. Emmett wasn't as lucky. "Give me something." Rose yelled.

"I'm sorry. Just breathe through the pain." The nurse said.

"I don't want to breath through the pain. Stop saying that, it's pissing me off." Rose screamed. "Give me the damn drugs."

"Give her the drugs." Emmett said as Rose crushed his hand.

"How are you doing, Rose?" The doctor asked as he walked into the room.

Rosalie growled at the doctor.

"I take that as you have been better." He joked.

"Oh, good a fuckin' comedian." Rose sneered.

The contraction finally let up and she released Emmett's hand.

The doctor directed Rose to put her feet in the stirrups and then did an exam. "Good news, this baby is ready. On the next contraction you are going to push."

She didn't have to wait long because her contractions were coming about every thirty seconds. On the next contraction, the doctor told her to push.

"Alright Rose, one big push." He said. Rose held her breath and pushed until her face was bright red. "Stop pushing."

"What? No, no, no, get it out." Rose screamed.

"I see the head. Just give me a minute." The doctor looked at Emmett and said, "Do you want to see your baby's head?"

Emmett smiled and looked. Than he lost his smile and said, "Is that going to go back to normal?" The doctor snorted and nodded. "Thank god, I don't want to fall in."

Rose glared at Emmett and said, "You don't have to worry about that because you are never coming near me again. This is all your damn fault. I hate you."

"Are you ready to become a mother?" The doctor asked.

"I'm ready to kill you if you don't stop talking to me and get this thing out of me." Rose yelled.

"Alrighty than." He said. "Push with everything you have, Rose."

Emmett and I both held her legs while she pushed and screamed bloody murder. As I listened to her scream and watched her cry from all the pain, I didn't know how the hell I was going to be able to do this. However, when I saw the look on Rose's face when the doctor placed the baby on her stomach, I knew the pain was worth it.

"Congratulations, it's a girl." The doctor said.

Emmett was bawling as he kissed Rose on the head. "You did it, baby. I knew you could."

"Emmett would you like to cut the cord?" The doctor asked.

Emmett beamed while he cut the cord. "What is all over her? It looks like gross Jell-O. Is she alright?" Emmett started to panic.

"She is perfect, just needs a good scrubbing." The doctor joked.

After they took the baby over to be cleaned up and weighed Rose broke down. "Emmett, I'm so sorry. I don't hate you. I'm still never having sex with you again, but I don't hate you."

"I know you don't." He laughed.

"I'm sorry to you guys, too." She said to the nurse and doctor. "I shouldn't have been so mean."

"No need to apologize." The nurse said as she handed the baby to Rose. "We get much worse on a daily basis. And it's no wonder you were in so much pain, nine pounds fourteen ounces, nineteen inches." It's Emmett's kid; it was bound to be big.

Rosalie and Emmett smiled together at their daughter while I took pictures for them. The baby was adorable. She had Rose's blonde hair with Emmett's curls, Rose's blue eyes and Emmett's dimples.

Rose handed the baby to Emmett and he held her as if he was handling fragile glass.

"I'm afraid I am going to break her." Emmett said.

"I am going to go into the waiting room and give you guys some time alone." I said. "Congratulations, she's beautiful."

"Thank you, Bella." Rose smiled. "And for being here for me. Let everyone know she's here."

I walked into the waiting room and everyone jumped up wanting the news.

"It's a girl." I smiled. "Nine pounds fourteen ounces."

"Damn it." Jasper sighed. He reached into his pocket, pulled out money, and slapped it into Edward's hand. "I thought she was going to be over ten pounds."

"I want to see my new cousin." Bree squealed. "Can I go see her?"

"Let's give them a few minutes and then we will go see her." I said.

"Aww, come on." Bree whined as she sat down heavily on the couch.

"Oh God, Edward, she was in so much pain." I said as Edward wrapped his arms around me. "I don't think I can do that."

"You can." He smiled. "You are much stronger than you think."

"I hope you're right because she was threatening to kill people." I said.

"Yeah, but she does that even when she's not in pain." Edward laughed.

After Rosalie was moved into a different room, we were all allowed in to see her. Bree was the first one out the door to find Rose's room.

"What is her name?" Bree asked.

"She doesn't have a name yet." Rose said.

Bree's face went blank. "What are you going to call her? It?"

"What would you call her?" Emmett asked her.

Bree squinted her eyes at the baby and said, "I think she looks like a Lily."

Emmett and Rose looked at each other for a second then Rose said, "I think so too. Lillian Emily."

"You mean I named her?" Bree asked excitedly.

"You sure did." Emmett smiled.

"Awesome." Bree said. "Unless she hates it, and then I had nothing to do with it."

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The part about Rose not being allowed to have an epidural is actually a horrible personal experience of mine. It happened not once, not twice, but three times! I had short labors (one was 4 hours, two were 3 hours. I have been called a bitch because of it. Lol.) However, I felt every bit of them.**

**I hope to have the next chapter out soon.**

**Leave a review- I love and cherish them all! I am going to try to reply to them all this time!**


	27. Chapter 27: Hormones are a bitch

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Sad, but true.**

**I didn't get to reply to everyone's reviews last chapter. I apologize for that; fanfiction has been being a real pain. So I am going to thank you all here. I loved all of your reviews and enjoyed your labor stories, thanks for sharing them!**

**Chapter 27: Hormones are a bitch**

**EPOV**

"Sit down, baby we have something to tell you." I said to Bree as I sat down next to Bella on the couch.

"Okay." Bree said as she jumped onto the couch across from us.

"We have some exciting news to tell you." Bella said while grabbing my hand.

"You're getting me a pony!" Bree exclaimed.

"What? No." I said. For the past year Bree has been trying to talk anybody who would listen to her into buying her a pony. Or as she put it, any animal she could ride would work.

I hate to break her heart, but she's not now or ever getting a pony or any other animal.

"Than what is it?" Bree mumbled.

"We are going to have a baby." Bella smiled.

Bree's whole face lit up. "I am going to have a sister?" She exclaimed.

"Or a brother." I said.

"I'm going to have a sister?" She asked again.

"We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet." Bella laughed.

"Well I want it to be a girl." Bree said adamantly. "Boys are stupid."

"I am sure you will love the baby even if it is a boy." I assured her.

"Doubtful." She mumbled.

"Embry is a boy and you don't hate him." Bella said.

"Oh, yes I do!" Bree exclaimed crossing her arms over her chest and getting red in the face.

"Are you and Embry having a fight?" Bella asked.

"He's a jerk." Bree spat. "He said he would have a tea party with me, but then he left to play ninja's with Quil."

Quil. What is with kids' names now a days? Were these parents all stoned when they named them?

"Well, sweetie, Embry is getting older; he wants to play with other boys his age too." Bella explained.

"He's only eight. That doesn't make him special." Bree said. "I'm his girlfriend; he's supposed to play with me."

I restrained myself from screaming. I hated it every time they called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. They are little kids; I expected them to stop calling each other that a long time ago.

"You have other friends to play with." I said. "I'm sure they would have a tea party with you."

"Yeah, then I bet the boys will want to join you too." Bella said.

"I don't want them to." Bree said. "Boys have cooties anyways."

I could not stop the laugh that erupted. I haven't heard anybody claim little boys had cooties since I was a kid myself. I could imagine she heard that from Emmett. It sounded like something he would teach her.

"I'm glad I'm going to be a big sister though." Bree smiled.

"I'm glad." I said. "But, can we keep this a secret for right now?"

"Sure." She said while hopping up off the couch. "But I still want a sister."

"We'll work on that." I said.

I let out a deep breath and leaned back on the couch running my hands through my hair.

"Don't let it get to you." Bella said, rubbing my thigh. "They are little kids. There will be many more boys once she's older."

I turned my head to look at Bella. "That _really _doesn't help."

"I know." She laughed. "But, it's true."

Yup, really not helping. Not one little bit. What father wants to see their little girl attached to a boy, no matter how old she is.

**_DB*DB*DB*DB*_**

"Come on, Emmett, let me hold her." Alice whined.

"Wait your turn." Emmett said as he held onto Lilly tighter. This was an everyday problem. Everybody wanted to hold the baby, but Emmett didn't like to share.

"I have been waiting." Alice huffed. "And Jasper and I have to leave soon."

"Where are you going?" Esme asked. We are all at Carlisle and Esme's house. Esme made a big family lunch. I personally think it was a ruse just to get Emmett here and feed him so that he would let the baby go. That plan didn't work out to well. He's pretty good at shoving food in his mouth with one hand while holding onto the baby with the other.

"We are meeting with our real-estate agent. She is showing us some houses today." Jasper answered.

"Oh, that is great." Esme said. "You all need bigger houses so you have room for more grand-babies."

"That's what I said." Jasper mumbled. I raised an eyebrow in question to what that comment meant.

"We just want a house that is ours, a place to call home." Alice said. "It's time to get out of the apartment."

"And room for babies." Esme said.

"Yeah…" Alice started with hesitation. "We have been talking about it, but I'm not a hundred percent sure there will be babies."

"What the hell, man up Jasper." Emmett said.

"It's not me, damn it." Jasper said defending himself.

"No, it's me." Alice said. "After seeing all the pain Rosalie was in I don't know if I can do it."

"You can do it." Rosalie said while Bella dug her nails into my thigh, she has the same fear as Alice. "Once it's over you don't even think of the pain. And the reward is amazing."

"Yes, but I don't know if I can deal with the pain to get to the reward." Alice said. "I'm barely five feet tall, I could be killed." Everyone laughed which she didn't appreciate.

"Here, Alice, you can hold Lilly now." Emmett said handing the baby over.

Alice bounced in her seat excitedly. Emmett handed Alice the baby and then headed towards the kitchen. Alice scrunched up her nose and yelled, "Damn you, Emmett! You only let other people hold her when she needs to be changed."

Emmett poked his head out of the kitchen smiling and said, "That's what you get for being impatient."

"He's a douche bag." Bree said as she ran through the room.

"Emmett!" I yelled. "You just wait until your kid can talk; I'm going to teach her all sorts of fun words."

Rose rolled her eyes.

"We have talked about adopting if Alice decided not to have children." Jasper said.

"That works too." Esme smiled. "And they would be loved just as much even if they don't share our blood."

"There are lots of kids out there who need loving families." Carlisle added. "Just don't be like those Jolie and Pitt people and adopt fifteen million kids just to never be seen with them, only to bring them out for a good photo op."

"Yeah, we won't do that." Alice laughed. "We have to go." Alice handed Rose the baby and left to go house shopping.

"So, what about you guys?" Esme asked looking towards us.

"I already gave you a granddaughter." I answered.

"Bella hasn't." She simply stated. Bella once again inserted her fingernails into my leg. That was really starting to hurt.

"What is with the need for a million babies?" I asked. "You just had a new grandchild born."

"The more the better." Esme said.

"We haven't really talked about it." I lied.

"Well, get on that." She said while rolling her hands telling us to hurry up about it.

Later that night we were lying in bed after we put Bree to bed. Bella had her head on my chest while I ran my fingers through her hair.

"We should think about looking for a house too." I said.

"It's like you're a mind reader." She laughed. "I was just thinking that too."

"Good, we are going to need more room soon." I said.

"Very true." Bella sighed. "I'm nervous."

"You are going to do great." I reassured her. "When are we going to tell people?"

"Soon. I want to wait until the newness of Lilly wears off a little."

"It's your choice. I will be there when we do tell them." I said and then laughed. "Just know my mother is not going to ease up until we tell her."

"Oh, this I know." She rolled her eyes.

**_DB*DB*DB*DB_**

**_THREE MONTHS LATER_**

"I thought shopping for a house was going to be fun." Bella sighed.

"I'm having fun." I lied. It started out fun. But the more houses we saw the more it stopped being fun. With every house Bella found something wrong. With most of the places we saw I didn't think there was anything wrong. Bella was becoming very opinionated and picky, and mostly…emotional.

"Yeah, you would say that." Bella yelled as she stood up from the couch and stopped her way into the kitchen. "You're a typical man. No opinion on anything. You would be fine living in a dumpster."

"Damn." Emmett said from the couch where he sat with Lilly on his lap. "She sounds just like Rosalie, when she was raging with hormones from…" Emmett cut himself off and his eyes became huge and mouth started to hang open.

"Shut up." I growled.

"Holy shit." Emmett said in a hushed voice. "Why haven't you told anyone?"

"She didn't want to steal yours and Rosalie's moment." I shrugged.

"That's sweet, but completely unnecessary." Emmett said. "Wow, now that I think about it, it is totally obvious."

"How so?" I asked.

"She is obviously being hit with the hormones. She has gained some weight. The other day at the BBQ she was dipping her pickles in mustard, super gross by the way."

"Don't say anything to her, or anybody else, about it." I pleaded.

"My lips are sealed." He said. "But, you might want to think about sharing the news soon. If I can tell, it's not going to take the girls long."

"What are you chicks gossiping about?" Bella asked as she came back into the room.

"Nothing, I was just telling Eddie boy here that me and Lilly had to take off." Emmett said.

"Alright." Bella said than kissed Lilly on the cheek. "I'm sorry your father is a man, they are useless. Don't get married."

"Inspiring words, Bella." Emmett mumbled as he left the apartment.

Bella walked towards me and saw I had my eyebrow raised. "What?" She asked.

"What did Emmett do to you?" I asked.

"Nothing." She sighed. "I will apologize to him." Bella climbed onto my lap and cuddled against my chest. "I'm sorry I have been being such a bitch. I just want the perfect house."

"I know you do." I said. "We will find it. But, there is something else we need to talk about."

"It's time to tell everyone." She said.

"Yup."

"Tonight, at Alice and Jasper's" She said. Tonight Alice and Jasper were having a dinner at their new house. They didn't take nearly as long to find a house as we are taking. Hell, even Emmett and Rosalie are in the middle of buying a house.

"Oh, my God!" Everyone was saying. We are all sitting around Alice and Jasper's dining room table. We decided to tell everyone while we were eating. Well, actually we were going to wait until everyone finished, but Bella blurted it out after Esme asked her to pass the potatoes.

"How far along are you?" Alice asked.

"Five months." I answered.

"No wonder you have been wearing baggy clothes." Rose said.

"You kept this from us for five months?" Esme asked.

"We only kept it a secret for three months." I said as way of an explanation.

Esme rolled her eyes. "Well, at least we know now. Oh, we have to plan a baby shower."

I tuned out after the girls all started their baby plans.

**_DB*DB*DB*DB_**

**_4 MONTHS LATER_**

Finally. Finally we found a house that Bella didn't find anything wrong with. Well of course she found some minor problems, but it was something easily fixed. The house was a cute- yes I said cute, damn fatherhood has changed me- two story, four bedroom house with a huge back yard, in a nice neighborhood. Actually, we moved into the same neighborhood as Alice and Jasper, we are just a few houses down from them. Emmett and Rose are just a few streets over.

The house has a large living room, kitchen, and dining room. The big kitchen was one of Bella's requirements. There is an office off of the kitchen which Bella said was perfect because then she could write and cook at the same time.

The upstairs housed the second bathroom and the four bedrooms. Bree claimed the bedroom that overlooked the backyard and had a large tree outside the window. When she gets older, no boys better get the idea to climb the tree to get into her room.

The house has a finished basement, which we made into my music studio. It's large, perfect, and has a locking door, so I can hide when there are diapers to change.

Currently Jasper, Emmett, and I are painting the baby room, and the girls are decorating the rest of the house. That pretty much means Bella is telling Alice and Rose where she wants everything and then making them move it all again three or four times before she's happy.

"I think this looks great." Jasper said as he set his paint brush down.

"I agree." I said as I looked around the room.

We decided we didn't want to know the sex of the baby, so we painted the room green and yellow with a baby animal theme. We were going to go with clowns, but clowns are creepy. What child, or anybody really, wants to wake up to a bunch of clowns staring at them?

"I think Bella is going to love it." Emmett said.

"I hope so." I said. Bella's hormones have been a bit on the horrible side. I walked on egg shells around her hoping not to set her off. "Bella, come here!" I yelled calling her from downstairs.

"What?" She snapped from the stairs.

"We are done painting, come see it." I said as she walked closer.

Bella walked into the room followed by Rose and Alice. Bella looked around the room and then started bawling. We all looked around at each other not understanding what made her start crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked while wrapping my arms around Bella.

"It's green." She sobbed.

"Yeah, green and yellow." I said confusedly. "We decided those colors because they are neutral."

"Who thinks green is neutral?" Bella shrieked. "If you put a baby is green everyone would assume it's a boy."

I looked around the room hoping for some help, but everyone had left. _Bastards._

"Baby, we can change it." I assured her. "Whatever color you want, I will make it."

"No, don't change it." She cried harder. "It's cute like this. I love it." Oh, my God, I can't keep up with her.

"Good." I said. "I love it too." Bella just continued to cry. "What's wrong?"

"Alice and Rose won't move the couch to where I want it." She said while drying her tears off on my shirt.

"I will move it to where ever you want." I said.

"Oh, good." Bella said straightening up, she sounded chipper. "Let's go eat, I'm starving."

Bella bounced out of the room, well the equivalent to bouncing for an extremely pregnant woman, and I stared after her. Thank God this baby was due soon. Hopefully I will get my Bella back. This crazy Bella is hard to handle.

We sat around the dining room table eating the pizza's we ordered and talked about what else we still wanted to do to the house. We already replaced all the carpeting throughout the house, sound proofed the basement, decorated Bree's room to look like a princess castle -complete with carriage bed-, and now that we had the babies room painted we were just about done.

"We need to move everything in the living room, it's all wrong." Bella said. Alice and Rose rolled their eyes.

"We have been moving everything all day long." Alice complained.

"Well I am sorry that I want my house to be perfect." Bella said sarcastically.

"Oh, leave Bella alone, she's nesting." I said around a bit of pizza.

Bella glared at me and said, "I am not nesting. That is such a stupid word. I am not a fucking bird."

"I didn't mean to offend you." I said. "Are you alright? Not to make you made, but you have been pretty…"

"Bitchy." Rose finished for me cutting me off.

"I was going to say grumpy." I said glaring at Rose, but in all honesty, she was right. Bella had been bitchy and short with everyone all day.

"I'm fine." Bella said.

"Are you really? Why do you have the table in a death grip?" I asked looking down at her hands that were gripping the edge of the table causing her knuckles to turn white.

"I'm fine." Bella said through clenched teeth. "But you guys are pissing me off."

Bella leaned back in her chair and started rubbing her stomach.

"Bella, what is wrong?" I asked with panic in my voice.

"Just a little stomachache." She answered.

"How long have you been having a stomachache?" I asked.

"I don't know." She said then suddenly doubled over holding her stomach.

"Bella, how long?" I said as I rubbed her back and became extremely nervous.

"I don't know. Today?" She said like it was a question.

"Today? All day?" I asked loudly. "Why didn't you tell me? You might be in labor."

"I can't be in labor." Bella yelled while jumping out of her chair and started pacing the room. "We haven't finished the house yet. The baby can't come until we are finished."

"The baby is going to come when ever the baby is ready, house be damned."

"No." Bella started crying. "I want everything to be perfect."

"Everything will be." I said as I stopped her from her pacing and rubbed her back.

Suddenly Bella bent over grabbing on to her stomach with one hand and onto Emmett's shoulder with the other hand and screamed bloody murder. Everyone started yelling and panicking.

"Ow, ow, ow, shit it hurts." Emmett said as he sunk lower and lower into his chair.

"Oh, God, Bella you peed your pants." Alice said horrified.

"Bella, your water broke." I said as calmly as I could. "We need to go to the hospital. Now."

"Mother fucker!" Bella yelled. "This was brand new carpeting. Now I have ruined it. Everything is going so wrong."

"Don't worry; we will have the house done and the carpet fixed before the baby comes home." I said as I helped her to the car.

Bella cried all the way to the hospital that she wanted to help get the house finished and ready for the baby. She cried harder once she remembered that the paint in the baby's room was still wet. And then she blamed herself saying it could have all been done sooner had she not taken so long to pick a house out.

"Everything will be done and fine." I said as we walked into the hospital.

"I am really trying not to tell you that I hate you, but I don't like you so much right now, so please stop talking because it's pissing me off." Bella gritted out.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"See, now I am being mean to you again." Bella cried. "I am such a horrible person."

"You are not." I assured her. "You are in horrible pain. If I was in excruciating pain I would probably be mean to you."

"What a horrible thing to say, Edward." Bella screamed.

"I'm sorry; I was trying to make a joke."

"Now is not the fucking time for a joke." No jokes, it pisses her off, noted.

"You say whatever you need to say to get through this. I will just keep my mouth shut." I added and then shut up.

"Finally, something brilliant has come out of your mouth." Bella cheered.

The receptionist looked up at from her magazine and popped her gum. "What seems to be the problem?" She asked.

"I have a hangnail." Bella said sarcastically. "What the hell do you think is the problem?"

"My wife is in labor." I stated.

"You shouldn't have to tell her that, Edward. It should just be fuckin' obvious. Ahhhhhhh!" Bella bent over again screaming in pain.

Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett came running in. Emmett was saying that they called Carlisle and Esme, who had Bree.

"Holy shit, she's in so much pain." Alice mumbled. "We are adopting." She said to Jasper, who nodded in agreement looking a little green at the sight of Bella panting and screaming.

"Alright, I am going to need you to sit in the waiting room and fill out these forms, and I am going to need your insurance card." The receptionist said handing Bella a clip board.

Bella took the clipboard and threw it over her shoulder, then braced her hands on the desk in front of her. "Listen here little girl. You can take those forms and shove them up your ass. Now, get me a doctor. I don't want to look at you any longer."

"Oooookay." The girl said standing up from her desk and leaving through a door behind her.

After a couple minutes two nurses came rushing out, one was pushing a wheel chair.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" One of the nurses asked.

"Not good." Bella answered as the nurses helped her into the wheelchair. "That girl wanted me to fill out papers. She was pissing me off."

"She rubs everybody the wrong way." One of the nurses chuckled. "Don't worry about the forms. Let's go have a baby and then you can fill them out."

"That sounds great." Bella sighed as she squeezed my hand and we went to have a baby.

**_DB*DB*DB*DB_**

"You did so good, Bella." I whispered against her forehead while I kissed it. Bella screamed and hollered, used every curse word known to man, and threatened my life in ways I never dreamed were even possible, and then gave birth to our beautiful baby.

"We both did good." Bella looked up from our baby and smiled. "We made a beautiful baby."

"With you as the mother, there was no other option." I said.

"Don't get gushy." Bella laughed. "Where is Bree?"

"Emmett is bringing her in." I answered then smiled as I heard her from the hallway telling Emmett to hurry up.

Bree burst through the door carrying pink balloons and a doll wrapped in her arms.

"I got my new sister a present." Bree smiled.

Bella and I shared a look as I lifted Bree up and set her on the bed next to Bella and the baby. Bree handed the balloons to Emmett and smiled at the baby.

"Bree, we would like you to meet Anthony Edward." Bella said. We had decided that if we had a boy we wanted to name him after me, but we didn't want a Jr., mail confusion can be a bitch, so we just switched the middle and first name.

"Well, that's a stupid name for a girl." Bree said.

"That is because she is a he. Anthony is your brother." I explained.

"But…but I wanted a sister." Bree pouted.

"We don't get to choose what we have." I said. "Maybe next time you will get a sister."

"There will be no next time, anytime soon." Bella glared at me.

"Well, I got him a doll." Bree grumbled. "What am I suppose to do with it now?"

"You can keep the doll, Bree, and we can get your little brother something else." Emmett said from the rocking chair in the corner.

"I guess he is a little cute." Bree smiled. "Look at his little nose and his chunky cheeks. I guess a brother is alright. He's so cute, can I hold him?"

Bella smiled a face splitting smile at Bree's change in attitude. Bella helped Bree hold her little brother while I took a picture.

Hi, Anthony." Bree smiled. "I am your big sister Bree." Anthony made a cooing noise and grabbed Bree's finger. "I think he likes me." Bree announced excitedly.

"No, I know he loves you." Bella said.

"You have to train him not to touch my stuff though." Bree said seriously.

"Train him?" I asked. "He's not a dog."

"Dog, baby, whatever." Bree shrugged. "I don't want slobber on my things."

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter is going to a leap in time; it's time for Bree to join the dating world. Edward's not going to be too happy about that.**

**If you want to see Bree's princess room there is a link on my profile. My daughters would kill for that room!**

**Leave a review I love them all! We only need 31 reviews until we make it to 1000, I think you can do it!**


	28. Chapter 28: First dates and spy missions

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**Thank you for all the reviews! We made it to over 1000; I'm so excited about that. I bow down to the awesomeness of my readers!**

**I apologize for how long this chapter took to get out, but with an emergency surgery, end of year field trips, and school ending, it has been a crazy month.**

**Chapter 28: First dates and spy missions**

**BPOV**

**7 years later (Bree is 14)**

Nothing makes the time fly by like having children. One minute they are tiny little things dependent on you and suddenly you blink and they are teenagers, who claim they don't need you anymore. (That's what they think anyways.)

Bree in now that teenager. She's not like most teens with the obnoxious attitude that you just want to smack out of them. Bree helps around the house, gets good grades, and followers the rules, but every now and then she throws out the, I'm a teenager so I don't need parents or rules, line.

Anthony just turned 7 and thinks he's the coolest thing in the world, and insists to go by Tony now. He will always be my little Anthony Edward. He is the spitting image of Edward. They have the same crazy bronze hair, same mesmerizing green eyes. The only difference is he has dimples just like his Uncle Emmett. The dimples, on top of all Edward's features, help drive the little girls crazy. He's only in second grade and he already has all the little girls in his class calling him every night.

Two years ago Carlie Marie joined our growing family. She, unlike Anthony, has by brown hair and brown eyes. She's a little angel, who is a complete daddy's girl. She has Edward wrapped around her little finger. To tell the truth all the kids do, but Carlie more than most since she's the baby.

Emmett insists he needs to keep ahead of us, so they are up to four. Lilly is eight, and has her mother's attitude and is spoiled rotten because she is the only girl. EJ, Emmett Jr., is six and takes after Emmett. Most people think EJ is the oldest because he is so big. Alec and Marcus are two year old blonde haired, blued eyed momma's boys.

Alice wasn't kidding when she said she wasn't having children. My and Rosalie's labor pain really scared the hell out of her. Instead of having their own children, Alice and Jasper went the noble route. They became foster parents. They decided that there were enough people out there that wanted babies, so they took in older kids that had a hard time being placed somewhere. But, Alice, with her huge heart made of gold couldn't let them go, so they ended up adopting the kids they took in. They now have six kids that they have officially adopted and one that is in the process of being adopted.

Benjamin, who is now eighteen, was the first to be adopted. Then Caius, sixteen, Demetri, fifteen. Emily also fifteen. Garrett twelve. Siobhan, ten. Zafrina, fourteen, who is in the process of being adopted.

All of the kids come from rough backgrounds, but Alice and Jasper have loved them like they are their own and have made a real difference in their lives. They are all good kids who have a bad hand dealt to them until now.

To say that Esme is happy would be the biggest understatement known to man. With fourteen grandchildren, she is the happiest person in the world. Her and Carlisle love having sleep over's with all of them. Carlisle cleared out the woods in the backyard to make 'Grandpa's Campgrounds'. The kids love going there.

Back to what I was saying, kids grow to fast and teens tend to make you go gray prematurely. Which I believe is what Bree is trying to do to me right now.

"I'm sorry." I said. "Could you say that again? I think I just had a stroke."

"I want to go out on a date." Bree stated, proving that, yes, I had heard her correctly the first time.

"And what did your father say about this?" I asked.

"Well…umm, I didn't actually ask him yet." Bree said shyly.

"I think you should probably ask your father." I said.

"Mom." She whined. "You know he is going to have a heart attack and say no. I thought it would be better if you asked. He can't tell you no. Please mom, please. I really, really want to go. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"You know I want you to be happy." I smiled. I was trying not to laugh at her begging. But, I also couldn't laugh because I knew Bree was correct, Edward was going to have a heart attack. "We will join forces and both ask him together." I offered.

Bree squealed and kissed my cheek before she ran out of the room while yelling, "Thanks mom, I love you."

"I love you too, but this is not a yes." I yelled.

"Might as well be." She smiled, popping her head back in the room. "He can't refuse us both."

"Yeah, we will see about that." I mumbled after she left again.

After we got done with dinner and I got Anthony and Carlie into bed, Bree and I joined Edward in the living room. He was eying us warily as we sat down across from him. He knew something was up.

"We need to talk to you about something." I started.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked nervously.

"Nothing." I laughed. "Bree has a question for you and I want you to keep an open mind."

"I don't like this already." Edward said.

"Dad." Bree sighed rolling her eyes.

"Alright." Edward said while straightening up and taking a couple deep breaths. "My mind is open, hit me."

"I want to know if I can go out on a date." Bree asked after I elbowed her to get her talking.

"HAHAHA." Edward started laughing uncontrollably. He stopped laughing after he noticed we were not joining in his laughter. "You're serious?" Bree nodded. "No." Edward said.

"Dad, come on." Bree said. "I'm fourteen."

"Exactly, you're fourteen, no." Edward said.

"Dad. I'm a good kid, I have good grades, I listen to you, and I am always home by curfew." Bree listed her good qualities.

"You are a great kid. And, no."

"Edward, I said have an open mind." I said. "I was thirteen when I started dating."

"That just makes me angry. I am going to have to call and yell at Charlie." Edward said.

"You are not being reasonable." Bree said.

"With who?" Edward asked.

"Embry." Bree answered. Who else would it be?

"Hell, no." Edward said.

"Dad." Bree sighed while rolling her eyes again. "I have been with Embry for years; it would be nice to finally go out on a real date with him."

I could understand Bree's point. Bree and Embry have been joined at the hip since the first time Embry saw her when she was just a baby. Edward has hated it every step of the way. But, in Edward's defense, he is going to hate any guy that looks at his little girl.

"He's sixteen, Bree." Edward said. "He's in high school, he drives, hell he shaves. He's too old for you."

"Are you kidding me?" Bree asked with a hint of frustration in her tone. "Do I really need to remind you that you are two years older than mom?"

Well, she had him there and by the clenching of his jaw, he knew it. I couldn't help but to smirk. Edward saw me smirking and glared at me. I ignored him and turned my attention to Bree.

"Why don't you let me and your father talk and we will let you know." I said.

After Bree walked out of the room I smiled at Edward and climbed onto his lap.

"I don't like this." He said while running his fingers through my hair.

"I know you don't, but at least it's with Embry. You know him, you like him, you know how much he loves Bree, you know he would never let anything bad happen to her, and you know he would never take advantage of her."

"Yes, I know all that." Edward sighed. "But, she's too young; she's not ready for this."

"Oh, she's ready." I laughed. "It's you that's not ready."

"No, I'm not." Edward whined. "Cant we just keep her locked up forever?"

"Why is it you find it cute that all these different girls call Anthony, but you have a melt down when Bree's best friend wants to take her out?"

"This isn't a sexist thing." Edward said.

"Like hell it's not." I interjected. "Don't think I didn't hear you and Emmett telling Anthony that he was the man. You need to stop thinking of Bree as your little girl and realize she's growing up."

"I don't want to." Edward pouted like a little child not getting his own way. "She will always be my little girl. And Anthony is the man." He smiled at the last part, making a joke.

"You really shouldn't have said that." I smirked. "Bree!" I yelled.

"Is it a yes?" She asked excitedly as she came skidding into the room like she was on a damn cartoon.

"Yup." I said. "Your dad says you're the woman."

Edward growled and I laughed.

Bree looked confused and said, "I don't know what that means, but yay!" She started bouncing in her spot and clapping her hands.

"There's rules." Edward said. Bree stopped bouncing immediately. "I want to know where you are going to be, and you have to be home by curfew, and no kissing, no hand holding, don't even look at him."

"Oh dad, you're such a prude." Bree smiled. She kissed us both on the cheek and told us thank you. "I am going to go call Embry and tell him." She yelled as she ran out of the room.

"You will see him at school tomorrow. Go to bed." Edward called after her.

"You're right, honey, it's probably better for her to tell him in person so he can be happy and give her a kiss." I said with a teasing smile.

"CALL HIM NOW!" Edward yelled.

_**~DB~DB~DB~DB~**_

"Are you excited?" Alice asked as we walked around the store.

We decided to have a girl's day out so we could shop and get Bree a new outfit for her date tonight. Bree said Embry told her to dress casual, so she wasn't sure what to wear. Men and their 'dress casual' line, it's just annoying.

"I am excited, but I'm also really nervous." Bree said while biting her nails and looking at an outfit Alice was holding up.

"Why would you be nervous?" Rose asked. "You could fart throughout the whole date and that boy would still love you move at the end of the night."

"Great. Thanks, Aunt Rose, now I'm worried I will fart." Bree said rolling her eyes.

"You will not." I laughed. "What are you really worried about?"

"I'm worried that after all this time, we are finally going out and what if he realizes I wasn't worth the wait. I mean, he has turned down a lot of girls because of me. A lot of girls who are a lot better looking than me."

"Oh, puh-leeze." Alice said. "You have your father's looks, your mother's heart, my amazing fashion sense, Rose's attitude, Emmett's fight, and Jasper's calm. When you stick all of us in a cute little package, Embry can't find anyone better. And Embry knows that, so just relax, that boy doesn't even see any other girl, he only sees you."

"Alright." Bree smiled. "But you have to admit, he is attractive and every girl is attracted to him."

"Oh, yeah he's attractive." I laughed. "It doesn't help he beefed up like his dad."

"Yeah, he even took down Emmett the other night while they were wrestling around." Rose laughed. "The big baby pouted all night, I had to boast his ego all night long."

"Gross." Bree said as she took clothes into the dressing room.

"I didn't mean it like that." Rose said defensively. Alice and I just looked at her. "Alright, I did mean it like that, but I didn't think she would understand that."

A few hours later we were sitting in the living room with the guys, who were all acting like they were losing their baby, waiting on Embry to come pick up Bree.

"It's not too late to change my mind." Edward said.

"Yes, it is." I smiled as the doorbell rang.

"Come on in, Embry." I said opened the door open for him.

Embry walked in carrying flowers and looking extremely nervous.

Bree came out of her bedroom with a huge smile as she saw Embry, and Embry physically relaxed just by the sight of her.

"These are for you." Embry said handing Bree the flowers.

Bree along with all the rest of the girls in the room started gushing about how pretty the flowers were and how cute Embry was giving them to her.

Edward took in the sight of Embry in his leather jacket and started jumping to conclusions.

"You better not be riding that damn motorcycle." Edward said. "My daughter is going nowhere on that thing."

"No, I have my pickup truck." Embry answered.

"Dad." Bree hissed. "So, you're allowed to ride his bike and I'm not?"

"Exactly." Edward said.

"Whatever." Bree said. "Ready?" She asked Embry.

Embry nodded and headed for the door, with Edward hot on his heals.

"Have her back by ten." Edward instructed.

"Eleven." Bree smiled.

"Eight." Edward countered.

"Alright ten." Bree said. "You're not very good at this compromise thing."

"I'm the father, I don't need to compromise." Edward answered.

"Don't worry; she will be back by ten." Embry said.

"Good. And no touching, nothing illegal, no touching, drive safe, no touching, and get home on time." Edward said.

"You got it." Embry said than smiled and said, "So touching?"

"Don't get smart." Edward said while glaring at Embry.

"I'm kidding." Embry smiled after he held the truck door open for Bree and then walked to his side. "I will not touch her, we will do nothing illegal, I will drive ten miles under the speed limit, and she will be home at 9:59 on the dot."

And then they drove off.

"He was patronizing me." Edward grumbled.

"Yeah, he was." I laughed.

We decided on a pizza and movie night. It took about a half an hour for us to finally agree on a movie. The whole time, Edward sat quietly while his knee never stopped bouncing and he kept looking at his cell phone.

Suddenly Edward jumped up and announced, "We will go get the pizza."

"We can just call and order it." I offered.

"That's alright." Edward called from the door. "I need some fresh air anyways." And with that they were gone.

"What the hell was that?" Rose asked.

"That was a paranoid father." I answered. "We might as well order some pizza."

"You don't think they're coming back?" Alice asked.

"No." I said shaking my head. "We won't see them again for awhile."

**EPOV**

"Ben messaged me and told me him and Caius got spotted by Bree." I told Emmett and Jasper.

"You have my kids spying for you?" Jasper asked.

"Well, I did until they blew it." I said while driving toward the restaurant that Bree and Embry were currently at.

It might have been wrong to ask my nephews to keep an eye, from a distance, on Bree, but this is her first date. I'm paranoid, I admit it and I'm not ashamed on having her tailed.

I pulled into the parking lot at the restaurant and pulled in next to Ben. I'm not surprised Bree spotted him; it's hard for him to go unnoticed. He's so damn big; you would swear he could move boulders just by looking at them.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She saw us and gave us the Aunt Rose glare." Ben said.

"Yeah, and that shit is scary as hell, so we got out of there." Caius added.

"Alright, well thanks for you help." I said.

"No problem." Ben said. "We are going to go do something now."

"You boys better be home by curfew." Jasper said.

"We will, dad." Ben smiled and then drove off.

Even though Jasper and Alice adopted Ben when he was almost eighteen, Ben was so grateful to have a family that he started calling them mom and dad right away. Ben looks up to Jasper even though he's only ten years younger than Jasper. He's a pretty good kid, even though he's had a tough life.

"Are we taking over?" Emmett asked.

"Got anything better to do?" I asked.

"Nope." They both answered.

A few minutes later Bree and Embry exited the restaurant and got back into the truck. When they pulled out we followed behind them. They drove for a few minutes and pulled into the theater parking lot.

It took paying off some pimple faced little shit to find out what movie they went to. Emmett whimpered when he realized it was a scary movie.

We walked in quickly after the lights went down and sat a few rows behind them. We could see them and I was happy that they weren't touching. I'm glad they listened.

"Do we really have to do this?" Emmett asked.

"Don't be such a baby." Jasper said. "You can make it through one horror film."

Emmett rolled his eyes and slouched down in his seat and dug into his popcorn.

About half way through the movie I was completely bored. The movie was so stupid it was almost funny.

"This is so dumb." Jasper said reading my mind.

"Shh, I'm trying to hear this." Emmett said as he sat on the edge of his seat. For someone who hates horror movies, he sure was getting into it.

Jasper and I started laughing when a guy walked on the screen wearing a plaid suit with pinks and purple in it.

"Oh, my God." We heard from behind us. "Who ever was the stylist for this movie should be shot."

I recognized that voice.

I turned around and saw Jacob and James sitting behind us.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Umm…enjoying the movie." Jake hesitated.

"Yeah, I call bullshit." I smirked.

"Alright, we are spying just like you." Jake admitted. "Even though Embry is older, this is also his first date."

"So far this is the most boring date in the world." James said. "He hasn't made a single move. Hell, they're not even sharing popcorn."

"Oh, he's thinking about making a move." Jasper said "Look at him, he's fidgeting, looks like he's about to throw up."

"Could be from this awful movie." I said.

"Some of us are trying to hear it." Emmett complained.

We all threw a handful of popcorn at him.

"I think he's going to go for it." Jake said.

"He's going to go for the _fake yawn and stretch_." Jasper said.

"No, he's going to pull the _I was brushing something off your shoulder _move." Jake said.

"Nah, he's going to go with _there is better light on the other side of you to see my watch._" James said while demonstrating the move using Jake.

"He's going for it." Jasper said. "Looking at his watch, yawning and stretching then brushing off her shoulder. Damn he combined them all."

"Kid's got game." Emmett laughed.

"Shut up and watch your movie." I said.

"Don't be a bitch." Emmett laughed.

Suddenly a handful of popcorn went flying over our heads and landed on Embry and Bree. They both turned around to see where it came from and we all sank down in our seats.

There was no guessing who did it after James started giggling like a little girl who just got away with something.

"What the hell did you do that for?" I hissed.

"This movie is horrible; this spying is boring, they aren't doing anything interesting. I need something to do." James answered.

I thought about it and figured he was right. I shrugged and threw my own handful of popcorn. We all sunk back down after the popcorn rained down on them.

We all took turns throwing popcorn and candy at them until we were interrupted by a snot nosed little shit usher.

"Excuse me gentleman." He said while shining a flashlight in our faces. "I am going to have to ask you to leave. You are disturbing people who are trying to watch the movie."

"No one would watch this bullshit movie." Jake said.

The little piss ant looked around the room at the remaining people (most people left a long time ago) and said, "There are people watching it."

"Well, then they are stupid." Jasper said.

"That may be, but you still need to leave." The usher said. "I suggest you leave before I call in my supervisor."

"Don't get your panties in a twist. We are leaving." I said while standing up. The kid had to tip his head back to look me in the face. He took a step back and swallowed loudly.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you have to leave too." He said to Emmett who was still watching the movie.

"Are you kidding me?" Emmett asked. "I was watching this."

"I'm sorry." The usher said. Emmett stood up and glared at the kid. "I'm really sorry." He said and practically ran away.

"You're bringing me back to see that movie." Emmett whined.

"So, what's the plan now?" Jasper asked.

"They are behaving." I said. "I think we should just head home."

"Yeah, we are too." Jake said. "If I get caught, Leah will kill me for spying on them."

After saying our goodbyes, we headed back to my house. The girls were just finishing the movie they picked out.

"Where's the pizza?" Bella asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

Shit, I completely forgot our excuse was that we were getting pizza. That was also over two hours ago.

"They were sold out?" I said making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"Mmhm." Bella mumbled.

After we ate some of the pizza that the girls had already ordered, since they knew we weren't coming back, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett all headed out to Carlisle and Esme's to get their kids and go home.

"I am going to go lounge in the tub." Bella said. "I would say you could join me, but I'm sure you are going to sit on the couch and watch the door until ten."

I debated on what to do for a minute. That bath sounded really nice, but she was right, I wanted to sit on the couch and watch the door like a hawk until Bree came home.

"I will be in in a little bit." I said.

"That's what I thought." Bella laughed. "Tell Bree I want details in the morning."

At five to ten Embry pulled up out front. I paced by the door, watching the clock on the wall. At exactly ten I opened the front door. Embry and Bree were standing there smiling at each other.

"It's ten." I said.

"I know." Bree said. "I was just about to open the door when you did. Goodnight Embry." She said and then walked into the house.

"Goodnight, Bree." Embry smiled. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night." I grumbled as he walked away.

I walked into the living room and Bree surprised me by giving me a hug. "Thank you for letting me go tonight, I had a lot of fun."

"I'm glad." I said.

"It was really cool of you." She smirked. "There was a group of parents who got kicked out of the movie theater. They were spying on their kids who were on a date. How lame is that?"

"Pretty lame." I said.

Yeah, totally busted.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first date. **

**Thank you to everyone who has recommended Doorstep Bundle. If you have seen it being pimped somewhere, let me know so that I can thank them personally.**

**The next chapter will be out soon, I promise! Leave a review, I love them all. **


	29. Chapter 29: Prom part 1

**Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own Twilight or its characters. **

**I'm sorry for the long wait again. I have been a total fail at updating lately. I hang my head ashamed. I have decided my next story will be pre-written so that I don't make people wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 29: Prom - part 1**

**3 years later (Bree is 17)**

**BPOV**

Prom is a right of passage for every teenager in high school. It is suppose to be the highlight of your high school career. That is probably true unless you are in the middle of a fight with your long term boyfriend.

That right there is Bree's problem with the prom. She and Embry seem to be having a huge fight. I'm not sure of all of the details, but it seems Embry has become extremely jealous since he graduated.

From what Bree has told me, Embry is not so happy that his friends have been getting closer to her since he left high school. Men, their all the same, if they could bash you over the head with their club and drag you back to their cave, they would.

When Embry graduated he decided to attend the state college instead of going off to school, which he could have. He stayed for Bree. They spend all vacations, holidays, and weekends together.

I think Embry's protectiveness over her is cute, apparently Bree doesn't think so. Bree said she has hit her limit. That is why Bree is going to Prom without Embry. To say he is unhappy is an understatement.

"Who are you going with?" Embry asked from the chair in our living room. We are all currently getting ready for the prom. Carlisle and Esme offered to take all the kids tonight so that we could chaperone the prom. Bree wasn't happy about us chaperoning, but her problems with Embry have over shadowed her embarrassment of her parents going to prom.

"None of your business." Bree answered as she entered the room.

"You're my girlfriend." Embry scoffed. "It is my business."

"Take a damn hint." Bree yelled. "I'm going to prom with someone else. So, no, I'm not your girlfriend."

"You look beautiful." Edward said.

"Thank you." Bree smiled then turned to Embry expectantly.

"Are you kidding?" Embry rolled his eyes. "You are going to prom with another guy; I am not going to boast your ego by telling you, you look good."

"Whatever." Bree sighed as she went to answer the door.

"This is so awkward." I mumbled to Edward.

"Yeah, but it's also kind of funny." He said.

Bree came back into the room with a guy right behind her. He was like Embry's clone. Tall, dark, and handsome, with a bit of a bad boy edge to him.

"Jared!" Embry yelled, jumping to his feet. "You're going to prom with Jared? He is such a douche."

"I am right here, Black." Jared seethed.

"He isn't going to last." I mumbled to Edward, referring to Jared.

"Nope." He agreed.

"Mom, dad, this is Jared." Bree introduced. "Jared, this is my parents."

"It's nice to meet you." Jared said.

"You too." Edward said. "Have fun tonight."

With that they were out the door. We both looked towards Embry as he huffed.

"You didn't even give them a curfew." Embry exclaimed.

"It's prom." Edward shrugged.

"Are you insane?" Embry yelled. "You better watch her like a hawk tonight."

"Aren't you going to prom?" Edward asked calmly.

"No." Embry huffed. "In case you haven't been paying attention the past few hours at the fight going on, Bree went to prom with another guy."

"So, go." Edward said.

"Ugh! I can't go."

"Why not?"

"Did you suffer brain damage?" Embry exclaimed. "She. Went. With. Someone. Else."

"You know, for someone that could have gone to college anywhere, you sure are dumb." Edward chuckled.

"What are you saying?" Embry asked confused.

"Well, if it were me, I would crash prom and get my woman back." Edward explained.

"Your woman?" I asked. "Such a caveman."

"They don't ask for tickets from chaperones." Edward said ignoring me.

Suddenly a light bulb went off, and Embry finally understood what Edward was talking about. Embry jumped out of the chair and headed for the door.

"Have her home by midnight." Edward yelled.

"That's why you didn't give them a curfew." I laughed.

"Geeze, I have to do all the work." Edward sighed.

"I know, sweetie." I giggled. "You must be so tired."

"I really am." He laughed.

Once Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett arrived we headed off to dinner before the prom. Alice and Jasper have kids attending the prom, and Rose and Emmett didn't want to be left out so they decided they were going too.

"You better slow down." I said to Jasper as he finished off his fifth drink.

"Bullshit." He laughed. "This is prom, I'm doing it right. We have to baby sit, and listen to crappy music; I want to do that drunk."

We all just laughed at him, but really it wasn't that bad of an idea.

"Don't get to drunk, you are dancing with me." Alice said to Jasper.

Jasper rolled his eyes and ordered another drink.

"I'm excited for this." I said. "I never went to my prom."

When I told Edward that I had missed my own prom, that's when he decided we were going to chaperone so that he could give me a real prom experience. That is why we are eating in a fancy restaurant, riding in a limo, and Edward rented a hotel room for the night.

As we walked into the prom, I was almost as excited as Alice. I say almost because I refrained from jumping up and down, to where Alice couldn't quite stop herself.

The prom was in the ballroom of the hotel that Edward booked a room. The ballroom was decorated with silver and white balloons, stars hanging from the ceiling, real cloth table cloths, and a large dance floor. The room looked very elegant.

The students starting arriving shortly after we did. We watched Bree and Jared walk in. Bree was smiling, but I saw her scanning the room with her eyes and I knew who she was looking for. She was hoping Embry would show up, I just knew it. She may be pretending she doesn't want him there, but she does.

Embry came through the door shortly after Bree did. He was wearing his tux that he wore last year at his prom. Embry was immediately surrounded by girls. Bree saw this and rolled her eyes and pulled Jared closer to her. The jealousy game was a fun, but evil thing.

"Care to dance with me?" Edward asked with his hand stretched out to me.

"I would love to." I smiled, taking Edward's hand.

Edward held my hand as he twirled me around and brought me chest to chest with him, wrapping his arms around my waist as I brought my arms up and around his neck and wound my fingers into his hair.

"Are you having a good prom?" He asked.

"I have a good time no matter what we are doing, as long as we are together." I replied.

"Wow, that was super corny." Edward laughed.

"Yeah, I know." I joined his laughing. "I had a bit to drink."

"Not nearly as much as Jasper did." He said looking over my shoulder.

I turned my head to see Jasper trying to dirty dance with Alice, who kept smacking his hands away and telling him to behave. He was just laughing and practically dry humping her leg.

Emmett and Rose were standing behind them, just laughing.

After a couple hours of dancing I decided to sit to rest my feet and "chaperone", which we really didn't do.

Bree saw me sitting at the table alone and joined me.

"What is he doing here?" Bree asked of Embry.

"To get you back." I shrugged.

Bree scoffed and rolled her eyes, but they landed back on Embry.

I chuckled and said, "Why don't you go dance with him?"

"I am here with someone else." She answered.

"Yes, and where is your date?" I asked.

Bree looked around, she had no idea. "He's here somewhere."

"Uh-huh. You don't even like Jared; you just want to make Embry jealous. Just make up."

"No, I am sick of him accusing me of seeing other people." Bree said. "I figured if he's going to accuse me of it, I might as well do it."

"That is no way to win an argument." I said. "Just prove to him that he's the only one for you."

"What more can I do to prove to him that I love him and only him?" Bree asked. "I have given him pretty much seventeen years, I have never cheated on him, I have never even thought about it. I have given him my virginity. What else can I do?"

I suddenly started choking on the drink I was just swallowing. As I fought for air, I was hoping that I had heard her wrong.

"Excuse me?" I said once I could breathe again.

Bree had her hands covering her mouth and her eyes were wide. "I didn't mean to say that out loud. Please don't freak out, and please don't go all motherly right now."

"Oh, I am already freaking out." I said slightly panicked. "And I am not going to go all motherly right now. I don't even want to think about what you just said. Oh, god, your father is going to kill Embry and possibly you too."

"Don't tell, dad." Bree screeched.

"Hell, no, I'm not going to tell him." I said frantically. "Oh, shit he's coming." I said as I spotted Edward walking towards us. "Just act normal, and you can discus it with him tomorrow. And you will. God, I hope you're using protection; I am too young to be a grandmother. Act normal." During my rambling I kept touching everything on the table, hoping if everything looked right on the table he wouldn't think something was up.

"You're not acting normal at all." Bree said as she watched me mess with the stuff on the table and bounce in my seat. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry." I exclaimed. "I'm freaking out."

"Hello, my ladies." Edward said as he sat down beside me.

"Ha ha. Yeah, hi. We are just talking. Nothing important. Just girl talk. It would probably bore you." I rambled.

"Yeah, how much have you had to drink?" Edward laughed. The drinking didn't stop at the restaurant. The limo was fully stocked, and Jasper had a flask that we were all sharing.

"Too much." Bree mumbled. "I am going to go talk to Embry."

"So, they are good now?" Edward asked.

"To good." I mumbled. I knew Bree and Embry were close, but I didn't know they were that close.

"I think it's time we cut Jasper off." Emmett laughed as he sat down beside Edward. Alice and Japer were walking towards the table with Alice helping him walk. Rose was walking behind them, laughing.

"Hey there, prom goers." Jasper slurred. Alice let go of his arm as he heavily dumped himself into a seat. Jasper hit the seat so hard he bounced up and then landed on the floor. "Oops." Jasper said as he pulled himself off of the floor and sat back in the seat carefully.

Jasper wasn't the only one drunk. Alice was slurring her words, Emmett was wobbling in his chair, and Rose's tell-tail sign was the laughing, and she was laughing a lot. I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol, which was making me paranoid.

"We should probably get going before the principal and other chaperones notice we are drunk." I said looking around. "I think every one is staring at us."

"No one is staring at us." Edward laughed.

"How about one more dance and then we will go." Emmett said.

"Sounds good." Edward agreed then grabbed my hand to pull me to stand.

We went out on the dance floor and danced slowly and closely, even though I think the song was a fast song. We didn't care. The song ended with Edward and I kissing passionately.

"Let's get out of here." Edward said huskily.

We spotted Jasper and Emmett leaning against the wall.

"Alice and Rose went to the bathroom." Emmett explained as we got closer.

I cocked head to the side as I watched Jasper. It was the oddest thing; he was very slowly sinking down the wall.

"What is happening to you?" I asked chuckling.

Jasper looked up slowly and his eyes widened. "Oh, God, it's happening again. You can see it right?"

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked. "What is happening to you?"

"I'm shrinking." Jasper shrieked.

"Oh, Jesus, here we go again." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Jasper asked. "Why doesn't anybody else ever shrink?"

"Because we know how to stand on two legs." Emmett chuckled.

"I can't. It's like I can't even feel my legs."

"That's because they are almost on the ground." Edward laughed.

"I don't think you're shrinking." I said. "I think you're falling."

"No, I'm shrinking." Jasper sighed. "Trust me, this has happened before. Alice is going to be bigger than me, and that terrifies me."

"What the hell are you doing sitting on the floor." Alice said scaring all of us.

"I shrunk." Jasper said hanging his head.

Rosalie started to laugh uncontrollably. Alice rolled her eyes but then also started laughing.

"He shrunk." Alice laughed. "What a moron."

"I think it's time to go." Edward said grabbing one of Jasper's arms. Emmett agreed and grabbed Jasper's other arm. They both lifted and pulled him off the floor. They started walking while practically dragging Jasper.

"Thanks, guys." Jasper said. "We should get one of those baby carriers you were afraid of, Edward, then you guys carry me around like that from now on."

"Yeah, I don't think we will have to do that." Edward assured him.

"I'm tiny, Edward!" Jasper yelled. "People could step on me!"

Edward started laughing uncontrollably once he placed Jasper in the limo.

"Oh, wow, I just got the visual of Emmett walking around with Jasper hanging from his chest in a baby carrier." Edward explained and laughed harder. "Oh, that would be awesome."

Then I started laughing when I saw Edward's visual. It really would be awesome. Mine and Edward's laughing caused a chain reaction and we laughed all the way to take Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose home.

Things sobered up once it was just Edward and I and we were headed back to the hotel for the night where our prom night would continue.

**A/N: I hope you had fun at prom. ohhayllno asked if I could make Jasper shrink one more time, so that is dedicated to her. If you enjoyed Jasper shrinking again, you should thank her.**

**Thank you to Sylvia Cullen and everybody on twitter for recommending Doorstep Bundle! It means a lot to me.**

**I know that this story has been seriously lacking the lemons, so I was going to give the hotel scene to people who reviewed, but instead I have decided to make this part 1 and the hotel scene part 2, which should be updated in the next day or two. **

**I wrote for the "For the Love of a Man in Uniform" contest. You should all head over there, read the great stories and then vote for your favorite. The link will is on my profile.**

**Leave a review and give me your thoughts.**


	30. Chapter 30: Prom Part 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. They were all funny! And welcome to all the new readers!**

**Here is the second part of prom night!**

**Chapter 30: Prom part 2**

Edward and I left the limo in a hurry to get to our room. We took the elevator up to the top floor. While in the elevator Edward pushed me against the wall and assaulted my mouth with his. His lips moved frantically with mine, his tongue swiping across my bottom lip looking for entrance, I opened my mouth to allow his tongue entrance.

When the elevator doors opened, Edward scooped me up and practically ran to our door. Edward slipped the key in the door and then carried me into the room while kicking the door shut behind him. Edward laid me down on the bed and started to remove my shoes. He took my shoes off and threw them over his shoulder and then crawled up the bed and positioned himself between my legs and started attacking my neck like a hungry vampire.

I slid my hands along Edward's chest and down his arms, pushing his jacket off. Edward sat up and took his jacket off the rest of the way while I started to unbutton his shirt. Edward noticed me struggling with the buttons, and grabbed his shirt and ripped it open, buttons flying everywhere.

"Eager are we?" I laughed as Edward went back to my neck.

"Yes." He breathed. "I didn't have sex on my prom night, so I am going to make up for it now."

"You didn't?" I asked surprised.

"No, just like tonight, Jasper and Emmett brought alcohol and I got so drunk that I threw up on my date." He explained.

"That's gross." I giggled.

"That's why I didn't drink tonight." Edward said as he sat up. "I didn't want a repeat performance." Edward stood up from the bed and started removing his pants and shoes. "You, my dear, are wearing way too much clothing."

I pulled my dress up over my head to reveal I was wearing nothing under the dress. I laid back down as I watched Edward remove his boxers and see how aroused he already was. Edward climbed back on the bed and started kissing up my legs, starting at my ankles and ending at my thigh and then switching for the other leg. He repeated it, but added his tongue, never touching me where I desperately wanted him to.

"Oh, shit." I arched off the bed as Edward's tongue finally made it to my heated center.

Ended inserted a finger and then two as he licked and sucked. "Damn you're wet." He said.

I would have responded, but I couldn't even think straight.

My orgasm was building and close as Edward kept up his ministrations. As Edward pumped his fingers inside of me, he nipped at me clit with his teeth and brought me over the edge.

"Oh, God, Edward." I screamed as I came all over his fingers.

Edward crawled up my body with a grin on his face. I took his fingers and stuck them in my mouth, sucking off my essence. Edward lost his grin and his eyes became hooded.

"Fuck, that's hot." He breathed.

After I released Edward's fingers he positioned himself at me entrance. "I love you." He said as he pushed himself into me.

"I love you too." I said as Edward filled me.

Edward stilled for a brief moment before he start thrusting his hips, slowly at first and then picking up pace. I wrapped my legs around his hips allowing him to go deeper, as I met his thrusts.

It didn't take long before we were both grunting and moaning at the feeling. Edward lowered his head and took one of my nipples into his mouth as I clawed at his back.

"Damn, baby…so good." Edward breathed against my chest. "I'm not going to last much longer."

I knew I wasn't going to last much longer either. Edward reached between us and started rubbing my clit frantically. Edward's lips captured mine again, tongues exploring, fighting for dominance.

"Come with me." Edward said. "Now." And I did. We both exploded at the same time with muscles clenching, limbs tightening, breathing shallow.

Edward collapsed on top of me as we both tried to catch our breaths. After Edward pulled out of me and rolled over we decided to take a shower to wash off our sweaty bodies.

The shower proved to be futile, since after the shower we had sex again…twice.

After we were both spent and exhausted, I snuggled against Edward as he held me tight. My eyes started drooping as I was falling asleep fast.

"So, how was your prom?" Edward asked.

"Best. Prom. Ever." I said before I drifted off to sleep.

**EPOV**

The night had been amazing. The dinner, the dance, the amazing sex. It was all perfect. Bella fell asleep, but I was still watching Bella sleep as my eyes started to fell like they weighted a ton. Every time I started to doze, Bella started talking in her sleep. She wasn't making much sense, just saying single words, but it was cute.

After about three hours, Bella's sleep talk stopped being cute and started being annoying. Every time I fell asleep she would say something and it would wake me up. Still just words, "Edward, prom, sex, kill".

I understood all of the words but the word 'kill'.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. It was only six in the morning.

"Edward." Bella mumbled.

I looked to see if maybe Bella was awake. She wasn't.

"Kill." She mumbled. "Sex, going to kill."

She was making no damn sense. I wanted desperately to know what she was dreaming about.

"Sex…bad." She thought the sex was bad? I thought it was pretty damn good.

"Kill…Embry." Why would I kill Embry, I wondered. Was she dreaming about sleeping with Embry?

I started to panic.

"Might kill Bree." She mumbled as she tossed and turned.

I was so confused I was tempted to wake her up to figure out what the hell she was talking about.

Something about sex and killing Embry and Bree. Her next mumbled statement figured it out for me.

"Not a virgin."

I jumped off the bed and started pacing, running my hands frantically through my hair. "Bree and Embry had sex and I was going to kill them?" I asked out loud to myself. "If it's true, you bet your ass I am going to kill them."

Suddenly something dawned on me.

"Bella!" I screamed.

"What's wrong?" She asked sitting up and looking around the room frantically.

"What are you dreaming about?" I asked as I continued to pace.

"That's why you're screaming?" She asked laying back down. "I don't know."

"Are Bree and Embry having sex?" I asked.

Bella suddenly sat straight up in bed. "What? Umm…what?" She sputtered.

"Are they?" I asked again fearful of the answer.

"What made you ask me that?" She asked avoiding answering herself.

"You have been saying some things in your sleep." I answered. "At first it didn't make any sense, but the more you went on the more I understood. Now, answer me."

"Yes." She said.

Yes, they are having sex, or yes you will answer me?"

"The first one."

"How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me?" I screeched like a girl.

"She let it slip last night." Bella said. "I was going to tell you, but then I had too much to drink and it just slipped my mind."

"We have to go." I said as I started throwing our things frantically into our bags.

"What?" Bella asked as she watched me act like a crazy person. "What are you doing?"

"Packing. We have to go."

"Go where?" Bella asked confused.

"Home." I said. "Holy fuck, I got them back together last night, than gave them a house all to themselves. It's like I'm a pimp."

"I don't think you can be called a pimp unless you are receiving money." Bella giggled.

I glared at her. "Don't patronize me." Bella held up her hands in surrender.

"Come back to bed." Bella said throwing back the covers and patting the spot next to her.

"No, we have to go."

"Come on, we still have a few more hours." Bella smiled. "I will make it worth your wile."

"Later. After I kill two teenagers." I said.

Bella sighed and got up from the bed and helped me pack.

"You know, this could all be for nothing, Embry's probably not even there." Bella said as we drove down the road, away from the hotel, which we would hide in after I committed murder.

"Oh, you say it's for nothing, huh?" I said as I pointed out Embry's truck in our driveway.

"Ah, crap." Bella mumbled.

We walked into the living room and found Bree and Embry asleep together on the couch, both dressed thank God. I kicked the couch and watched them both jump in surprise, and Embry fell to the floor.

"I'm sorry, are we interrupting something?" I asked.

"It's not what it looks like." Embry said as he stood up from the floor.

"It looks like you are sleeping with my daughter in my own house." I said.

"Okay, it's sort of what it looks like." Embry said.

"We were just talking and we fell asleep." Bree said.

"I didn't touch her, I swear." Embry said.

"Have you ever touched her?" I asked.

Embry hesitated, opening and closing his mouth like a stupid fish. "I don't know how to answer that without you hurting me."

I literally growled at him. Bella grabbed my arm and told me to calm down. How she could stay calm, I didn't know.

"I am fitting this whole damn family with chastity belts." I said.

"You told him?" Bree screeched at Bella.

"Not on purpose, but it's not something I could have kept from him for long anyways. I'm sorry, Bree." Bella said.

"I can't believe this." Bree mumbled.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked.

"I am not talking about this with my father." Bree shouted. "How embarrassing."

"Why don't you guys leave us to have a little girl talk?" Bella said.

Embry started to leave and I grabbed him by the back of the neck. "Don't think you are leaving." I said. I hauled Embry outside to help me work on Bella's car.

"How do you feel about my daughter?" I asked as Embry crawled under Bella's car.

"I love her. You know that." He answered.

"Why did you guys break up?" I asked as I got in the drivers seat to open the hood.

"Because, umm…it's umm." He stuttered. I honked the horn, scaring him, causing him to smack his head on the underside of the car.

I got out of the car, opened the hood and looked down on Embry. "Answer me." I said.

"It's kind of hard to talk about with you." He said.

"Try it anyways."

"Because I have been jealous that she has been hanging out with my friends, and she got sick of me being jealous." He answered. I already knew that part, but I had a feeling he was leaving something out.

"I need a wrench." He said.

I dug through the tool box and found the biggest wrench I had, I held it over him through the hood and dropped it.

"Oh, shit." Embry yelled as he rolled out from under the car holding his groin.

"Oops, did I get you?" I asked innocently. I was laughing hysterically on the inside.

"Alright, Edward, I know you're pissed." Embry said as he pulled himself up off the ground. "Yes, we have had sex. Twice. I'm sorry. It wasn't planned, it just sort of happened."

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you fall on her? That is the most used bullshit answer."

"You know what I mean." He sighed. "I love your daughter, and I would never hurt her. We used protection. I know that doesn't make you any happier, but hopefully it will put your mind a little at ease."

"I'm glad you were responsible, but no, it doesn't make me happier." I said. "Tell me why you broke up."

"I told you."

"There is more to it."

Embry sighed and then said, "This is hard to talk about but, I told Bree I won't have sex with her again until we are older. She got pissed and started hanging out with my friends to piss me off."

I raised an eyebrow and said, "You don't want to have sex? Bullshit."

"It's not." Embry said. "As stupid as it sounds, I want to wait awhile. I know that Bree is the woman that I am going to marry, so it shouldn't matter if we wait awhile. And she is seventeen, and I am nineteen, and it is technically illegal."

"Sounds pretty mature of you." I said.

"Yes, but we both know I have some more growing up to do." He laughed. I couldn't help but chuckle along with him.

"Are you done interrogating my boyfriend now?" Bree asked as her and Bree walked out of the house.

"He's just being a dad." Embry smiled. "When we have kids I will be protective too."

"Now's, really not the time to mention kids." I said.

"Sorry." Embry mumbled.

"Hands to yourselves." I yelled as Embry and Bree walked towards his truck.

"So, according to Bree, it's her trying to pressure him into having sex, and he's not going for it."

"That's what he said too." I said. "I think I like Embry a little more now."

"You know you love him." Bella laughed.

"I said I like him a little." I huffed as I closed the hood on Bella's car and picked up my tools and headed for the house.

"Aren't you going to fix my car?" Bella asked.

"There is nothing wrong with your car; I just wanted to throw tools at Embry." I laughed.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the prom night and Edward's freak out.**

**This is going to be a busy week, with my kid's soccer tournaments and the fair, but I am going to try to get the next chapter out soon.**

**Leave a review :)**


	31. Chapter 31: Knocked UpCookies?

**Disclaimer: All Twilight related material is not mine. The plot and the humor, of course, are mine.**

**I know it's been awhile, I apologize. Real life has been kicking my ass. But, it is my birthday today, so I stayed up late last night and finished this as a present to you all. I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 31: Knocked Up…Cookies?**

**BPOV**

**(5 years later, Bree is 22)**

Sitting in Carlisle and Esme's backyard, looking around at all of our family, I can't believe how time has flown by. Little Bree, who we have raised since basically birth, is now a college graduate. That is the reason for sitting in Esme and Carlisle's backyard, its Bree's graduation party.

Watching all the kids running around I can't believe how big they have all gotten.

Bree is now a college graduate with a masters in English, and will be starting her new career as an 8th grade English teacher once summer is over.

Anthony is a 16 year old football star, who all of the girls are after. I don't care for the girls one damn bit. It might be because I am his mother, but all of these girls that come around are not good enough for him. And what are with teenage girls clothes now a days? Can't they put some on? If I had dresses like these teenagers now do when I was a teenager, my father would have had a heart attack and grounded me for life. And the fact that Anthony is driving now does not please me either. But, Edward, he is proud of Anthony for all of this. When one of these little half dressed girls makes him a grandparent, we will see if he is still proud.

And our little Carlie is now 10 years old. She is Edward's little prodigy. She is following in her father's footsteps with his love on music. She is now playing guitar, piano, drums, and saxophone. She is great at them all. We don't know why she wanted to play the saxophone, but she was adamant that she needed too. Even though it was bigger than her.

Even to see how Embry has grown up is amazing. He graduated college with a business degree and went into business with Jake. They started a garage, which has been very successful.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Just about how much the kids have grown." I admitted.

"Don't worry; we still have a long time before it's just you and me again." Edward said. "It's never been just us, has it?"

"Nope." I said. It was true; Edward and I didn't start dating until after he had Bree.

"I wonder if you will still like me once it's just us." Edward laughed.

"I think if I can stand you now, when you leave your underwear all over the place, I will be able to tolerate you and your annoying habits once the kids are gone." I said.

"That…is so….romantic." Edward said pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

"Don't be an ass." I laughed as I smacked his arm.

"Hey. Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" Embry asked as he stood in front of us looking extremely nervous.

"Yeah, everything alright?" Edward asked as he stood up from his chair.

"Yeah, no, yeah, everything's great." Embry said. "I just need to ask you something."

"Alright." Edward said and walked behind Embry as they went into the house.

"What was that about?" Bree asked as she sat down next to me.

"I have no idea." I answered. "So, how do you feel being a college graduate?"

"I don't feel any different." Bree shrugged. "I'm glad I don't have to do homework anymore, but now I get to give homework, which is sweet revenge."

We talked for awhile about Bree's summer plans, which consisted of relaxing and not much else. She and Embry had a few trips planned, but nothing major. She just wanted to enjoy her summer before starting in the workforce.

After awhile, Edward and Embry walked out of the house and back towards us. Edward looked stressed and Embry looked happy. Embry took Bree's hand and pulled her to her feet and pulled her behind him as he walked away. Edward dumped himself into his seat with a big sigh.

"What did Embry want?" I asked.

"To make me die prematurely." He mumbled thinking I couldn't hear then added louder, "Oh, you'll see." He said while running his hands through his hair.

"Dad, dad!" Carlie yelled as she ran up to our table.

"Just the person I need." Edward said as he pulled Carlie up into his lap. "Never grow up. Stay little forever."

"I can't stay little forever." Carlie laughed.

"Yes, you can." Edward said as he snuggled her into his chest.

"Dad, stop." Carlie giggled. "I have a question."

"Anything you want, as long you stay little forever." Edward agreed. I raised my eyebrows, knowing that was a bad answer.

"Can I have a boyfriend?" She asked.

"Anything but that." Edward said with a slight growl.

"Who do you want to be your boyfriend?" I asked.

"Seth." Clair smiled.

Seth would be Embry's little brother. Leah and Sam had Seth a few months before we had Clair. I guess this is what you would call, history repeating itself.

"Why don't you go play with Seth and in a few year's we will talk about this again." I said.

"A few years?" Clair exclaimed. "Well, that's bull. Bree has been with Embry since…birth." With her little tirade she hopped off Edward's lap and walked away.

"Don't say, 'that's bull' it's not nice." I yelled after her.

"I'm going gray, I just know it." Edward said. "Look, do I have gray hair?"

"Oh, yeah." I said as seriously as I could. "And a bald spot too."

"How mean." Edward said swatting my hand away from his hair. "Why would you say that?"

I couldn't answer him, I was to busy laughing.

Anthony sat down across from us with a huge plate of food. If I didn't give birth to him I would swear he was Emmett's kid.

"What are you here to ask?" Edward asked as Anthony stuffed half his burger into his mouth. "Condoms?"

Anthony started choking on his burger and was looking at Edward with huge eyes.

"Condoms?" Anthony asked once he cleared the burger from his mouth. "Why would I ask you for condoms?"

"I don't know." Edward said. "It seems you kids are trying to kill me today."

"Well, I just sat here to eat." Anthony said as he resumed eating. "If I wanted condoms I wouldn't ask my dad. That's weird."

"You better not be having sex." I said. "Especially with these little tramps that follow you around. Then _I_ will be going grey."

"Have a little faith in me mother." Anthony said. "They can cheer for me at games, that's as far as I want to go with them."

"Good." I said.

"Plus, there is this girl I kind of have my eye on." Anthony smiled shyly. "I think you would approve of her. She's really smart and get's good grades, she's shy and keeps to herself, she basically lives in the library."

"Following in his father's footsteps." Edward said. "I fell for a librarian type."

"Yeah, plus I hear them librarian types can get a little wild." Anthony laughed. "It's the quiet one's you have to watch out for."

"You have no idea." Edward mumbled. I punched him in the leg under the table.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" Embry asked from the microphone everyone has been singing karaoke from, badly.

"Here we go." Edward mumbled.

"Everyone has given Bree her present except me." Embry continued.

That was true, this morning we surprised Bree with her new car. We decided that we weren't going to buy her a car for her sixteenth birthday like some parents do, but we would give her a car for a big success, and graduating college was just that.

Carlisle and Esme turned her trust fund over to her. I don't even want to begin to think about how much money is in it since everyone has been putting money in it since her first birthday.

Through out the day everybody else has been giving her presents, now all that's left is Embry.

"I have had this present for a very long time." Embry said. "I just wasn't sure the right time to give it to you. This seemed perfect since our friends and families are here." And then he sunk down to one knee.

Everyone gasped and I started squeezing Edward's arm.

"I can still remember the day I met you. I was only two and you were just this adorable little baby, but the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew we would be together forever. I knew that we were made for each other. And to this day I have been proven right. Every day with you has been better than the last. There has never been and never will be another person for me.

"I love you more than you will ever know. I have fallen more in love with you everyday. You are it for me. I have been blessed to have you in my life for the past twenty-two years, and I am hoping to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you make me the luckiest and happiest man alive and marry me?"

Embry held out a small black box as Bree held her hands over her mouth, crying, until she finally nodded her head yes.

"You knew about this?" I asked Edward. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"He asked my permission." Edward said. "I tried to talk him out of it. They're still too young."

"If you didn't want to give permission, then why did you?" I asked.

"Well, I couldn't say no could I?" Edward said. "What father actually says no?"

"Well, I don't think they are too young." I said. "Hell, they have been together longer than us."

"True." Edward chuckled.

Once everyone got done congratulating Embry and Bree and gawking at the ring, things started to wind down and people started leaving, leaving just the family.

We all sat around the picnic table in the backyard discussing making wedding plans. Alice was all excited that we got to plan another wedding. Her kids weren't pairing off fast enough for her liking. Even though a lot of her and Jasper's kids were old enough to get married, none of them really had the interest to.

Bree and Embry joined us at the table with huge smiles.

"We are planning on getting married in the middle of August." Bree said.

"Summer weddings are beautiful, and a whole year engagement is a good idea." Esme said.

"No, this August." Bree said as she smiled at Embry.

"Funny." Edward mumbled, taking Bree as joking. I raised my eyebrows at her wondering if she was joking.

"That's in two months." Alice squealed. "That isn't enough time to put

together a wedding."

"What's the hurry?" Anthony asked as he shoveled more food into his face. "Are you knocked up?"

Edward's head whipped around so fast I figured his eyes would need a minute to catch up.

"Are you?" Edward asked.

"What's knocked up mean?" Carlie asked, which made Emmett start laughing, which of course caused Rose to smack him upside the head.

"It's a new cookie." I said without thinking. "Go play."

Carlie turned and ran off with Seth right behind her. "Come on Seth, let's go get knocked up." She yelled.

Emmett really started laughing after that, but he had Jasper, Carlisle, and even Esme chuckling along with him.

"Nice one, mom." Anthony snickered.

"Shut it." I said. "Go find them some cookies."

Anthony groaned as he had to leave the adults. Everyone's eyes returned to Bree.

"Well?" Edward asked.

"No, I am not _knocked up_." She exclaimed.

"Then what's the hurry?" I asked.

"We just don't see the point in waiting." Bree explained. "We love each other, we have been together forever, and we want to be married. Why wait?"

"Because we need time to plan a wedding." Alice said like she was explaining it to someone wearing a helmet and planning to lick the windows.

"We will get married in the church, have the reception here, hire someone to cater; all that's left are little details." Bree said.

"Little details?" Alice exclaimed. "A wedding dress, wedding party clothes, invitations, flowers, decorations, rings. This all takes time."

"No, this all takes one trip to Port Angeles."

We all just watched their discussion like we were spectators at a tennis match, heads back and forth, back and forth. Alice would shoot a problem into Bree's court and Bree would lob it right back with a solution. Apparently Bree and Embry had really thought a lot about this.

"Well, I guess we are all going on a huge shopping trip soon." I said after Alice couldn't find anything else to argue about.

"Who?" Edward asked.

"All of us." I answered.

"My job is to walk her down the isle and try to talk her out of it before we reach the end." Edward smiled.

"You need a tux, you are going." I said.

Edward groaned, and then all the other guys joined in the groaning when they realized I meant _all_ of them.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was kind of short, but I wanted to give you guys something. Next up, a shopping trip and a wedding. And then we are done. I know, it's sad but true. **

**The story that I wrote for "The Love of a Man in Uniform" contest won third in the public vote. It is on my profile.**

**Leave a review and let me know what you would like to see happen at the wedding, and then head to my profile and read my one-shot "With Every Breath I Take".**


	32. Chapter 32: Wedding Preparations and Mai

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get out. Thanks you to everyone who read and/or reviewed the last chapter. And a huge thank you to everyone who's sticking with this story even though the wait has been awhile.**

**Chapter 32: Wedding Preparations and Mailbox Baseball**

**BPOV**

We are currently all in Seattle, wedding shopping. It has been over a month since Bree and Embry got engaged. We decided Seattle was a better city to shop in than Port Angeles, with better options. Especially since our _only_ shopping is our last minute shopping. Carlisle and Esme agreed to keep all the kids for the weekend, so we could make the Seattle trip a weekend thing.

The wedding is already two weeks away. After Bree and Embry came back from their vacation and then Edward and I and all the kids came back from our family vacation, time had flown by. Bree and Embry are not concerned that everything is being done last minute. Alice on the other hand has been going out of her mind. But, that's just Alice.

You would think the guys were taking their final walk down death row, with the way they are acting. Which is why every time one of the them walks by we say, "Walking the mile, walking the green mile." They aren't finding it as funny as we are. We are finding it fucking hilarious.

All of the guys have been moping around the dress shop and looking totally depressed. I'm sure they would rather have bamboo chutes shoved under their finger nails. I know most guys find shopping boring, but really, they need to grow up. Even Jake is acting like he wants to bolt. He's a gay man, shopping should be his sport!

The only guys that were having any fun were James, he's a stereo-typical gay man, this really is his sport. And Embry, but he would do anything to make Bree happy.

We told the guys that if they didn't start acting better we would withhold sex. That should work.

"How about this one?" I asked as I held up a bridesmaid dress for Bree to inspect.

"I do like that." She smiled. Bree had two bridesmaids, Alice's oldest girls, which Bree came to be very close to over the years.

"How about this one?" We heard behind us.

We turned around to see Emmett wearing a strapless yellow dress that barely cleared his ass.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rose hissed.

"You told us to get into shopping, so I'm helping." Emmett answered.

"Oh, my God." Jasper said fanning himself with his hand. "That dress is to die for, and you look hot."

"Yeah, who would have thought you had such amazing legs?" Edward added. "Some nice heals will lift that butt right up."

"Emmett, I am going to kill you if you don't take that off before someone sees you." Rosalie threatened. "If we get kicked out of here because of you, you are a dead man."

"You wanted our help, we are helping." Emmett defended. "Plus who's going to kick us out?"

"Excuse me Sir, but this is not a playground or a bar for your rowdy friends." A bitchy little sales girl said glaring at Emmett with her arms folded over her chest. "I'm sure there is a transsexual Tuesday in one of the bars around here that you and your buddies will fit into better."

"Excuse me?" James said. "What did you just say? What did she just say? Did she just say _transsexual Tuesday_?"

"She did." I said while rubbing my forehead wishing I was anywhere but here. Thank God we were the only ones in this store.

"Let me tell you something _sweetheart_." James said. "I wouldn't think so high and mighty of yourself, because it looks like a blind baboon dressed you this morning."

The woman gasped. I agreed with James. Her clothes were pretty ugly.

"Listen," Emmett said. "We are about to buy about seven or eight dresses here, some being bridesmaids dresses and a wedding dress, but if our lower class shenanigans bother you we can take our money else where. I'm sure your boss wouldn't mind losing out on all that money, plus your commission as the sales person."

The bitchy sales girl's eyes widened. "No, no. Of course we want you to enjoy yourselves while you are here."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Emmett mumbled.

"But, might I suggest a different color, sir?" She said.

"No, the yellow brings out the mustard stain on his chin nicely." Jasper said as he walked up to Emmett holding a pair of dark red high heels.

"Jasper!" Alice screeched. "Those shoes don't go with that dress."

And like that, shopping continued. Without anymore trouble from the bitchy sales girl. The guys continued acting like immature morons, but at least they were in a better mood.

Threatening to withhold sex can cause miracles.

**_~DB~_**

"Alright," Alice said as she looked over the list she had made. "Dresses are done, tuxedos are done, food, decorations, cake, flowers all done. Looks like all that's left is the wedding."

"No it's not." Emmett said.

"Oh, God, what is it?" Alice asked frantically. "You're right; there is probably something we missed. I knew we couldn't pull off a wedding in a couple months. No sane people get married so quickly." Bree raised her eyebrow at Alice's last comment.

"Alice, take a breath." Jasper said.

Alice took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Alright, what are we missing?"

"Bachelor party!" All the guys said at the same time.

Alice rolled her eyes. The rest of us girls smirked. We had a bachelorette party planned.

But, that was going to wait until we got back home. With everything bought and ready, we headed out of Seattle.

_**~DB~**_

"Behave." Bree said to Embry as she kissed him goodbye.

"I should be telling you to behave." He smirked.

"I make no promises." She laughed.

"Fair enough. I can't until I see you tomorrow." He smiled.

"I will be the one in white."

"And I will be the one waiting impatiently for you at the alter." He said.

"Ugh…leave the mushy stuff for tomorrow. I want to see some oily naked guys, so let's move this along." Rose huffed.

"I can be naked and oily in a minute flat." Emmett said.

"Yeah, but you can't dance for shit." Rose said. "And then I would have to wash the sheets and anything else you slid your ass across. It just sounds like a lot of work."

"You're right." Emmett signed. "Have fun tonight."

"You too." Rose returned along with a kiss on the cheek.

After the guys were gone we got ready and left shortly after them. We headed to the bar that we practically bought out for the night. Along with us, we also invited out of town family and all of Bree's friends. We probably have about one-hundred girls crammed into this place, along with a dozen or so half naked dancing guys. Because let's face it, what's a party without naked dancing guys? No party at all in my book!

The bar was decorated in traditional bachelorette fashion. We hired caterers, which were situated off to the side, and the dancers were in the front, swinging from their poles.

"I call pole!" Bree and Esme both shouted at the same time and then took of running to get the seat directly in front of the pole.

"You, know, you think you have seen it all and then something comes out of the blue to make you say _what the fuck_." Alice said as she watched Esme and Bree reach the chair.

"She really is one horny old woman." Rose giggled.

"I never thought I would be watching strippers with my grandmother." Bree smiled, from the seat she won over Esme.

"Esme is actually the perfect person to watch strippers with." I laughed.

"Take it off, baby. We are paying you well." Esme yelled, just to prove my point.

We sat around the table directly in front of the pole and ate while we watched the dancers. And we drank, _a lot_.

"We all know we are here for a very special reason." One of the male dancers said into a microphone. "To celebrate Bree and her willing decision to give up all other men and stick to one guy. Are you sure about that?" He asked Bree while smiling and making his Pecs bounce.

"I'm sure." Bree winked.

"Well that's a shame." He said. "But, come on up, we have a gift for you."

Bree stood from her seat and walked up onto the stage while the bar erupted in screaming on cheering on Bree.

The man sat Bree down into a chair in the middle of the stage and then walked off after telling her to enjoy.

Bree sat there for a second before the "Wedding March" started playing. Six guys dressed in tuxedos walked out from the curtain towards Bree very slowly, as if they were walking down the isle.

Once the guys reached Bree they all blew her a kiss and then the music changed into something upbeat and the guys all ripped the tuxedos from their bodies and started dancing around Bree.

We all cheered as Bree sat and got lap dances from six guys at the same time. Bree was not her typical innocent little self. She was rubbing her hands along their chests and slapping at there asses while she screamed, encouraging them on.

"Bree is not going to be able to walk down the isle without thinking of this." Alice laughed.

"Should make for an interesting wedding." Rose said.

Four of the guys left the stage and danced over to us, leaving Bree with two guys. We pushed back from the table so that the guys could fit between us and the table. We were paying for all this; you bet your ass we wanted a lap dance.

"Hey, bitches sorry I'm late." James said as he sat down in the chair next to me. "Aww, look at our little Bree getting felt up." He laughed.

"Welcome, we thought you weren't going to make it." I said without taking my eyes off of the guy on my lap.

"I put in a little while with the guys, but I don't care for plastic titties, so I got out of there as soon as I could." James answered. James looked at the dancer in front of him and said, "Yeah, baby dance for me."

The dancer laughed and dropped almost on to James' lap.

"Are the guys having as much as we are?" Alice asked as she grabbed the ass of the guy standing in front of her.

"Oh, yeah, they are having tons of fun." James said sarcastically.

**EPOV**

"I am so bored." I said as I watched the topless dancer swing onto the pole and then flip upside down, her giant fake boobs landing on her chin. _Real attractive_.

"I agree." Jasper said. "Remember when we were younger and this was what we lived for?"

"Yeah, it's just not the same when your wife gives you permission." Emmett added.

"I have the back of my truck loaded with liquor, we could get wasted and find something else to do." Jake suggested.

"Embry, would you be offended if we bailed from here?" I asked.

"Not at all." Embry said pulling his face out of the dancer's hands that was on Embry's lap trying to shove his face into her chest. "This girl kind of smells weird."

"Rude." The girl sneered as she stood.

"Well, sweetie," Jake started. "when you are done in the VIP room you should shower. You smell like stale semen, and years of infected pussy."

We all laughed as the girl stormed off, and then we got our asses out of there.

We all loaded into Jakes truck and drove around trying to find something to do, while we all slowly got drunk, drinking from the many bottles Jake had in the back.

Jake drove while Carlisle and Sam rode up front with him while Embry, Jasper, Emmett and I were in the bed of the truck. All the rest of Embry's friends stayed back at the strip club. They are college kids, and were excited to see boobs.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" I asked Embry.

"More excited than nervous." He smiled.

"More excited for the wedding, or the wedding _night_." Emmett laughed.

"Answer that and I'll kill you." I said. The last thing I wanted to hear about was the activities my daughter would be doing tomorrow night. "Remember, abstinence is the best form of birth control even when married."

Carlisle, _Carlisle _my own father snorted and rolled his eyes at me.

We drove around town, finding nothing to do, but drinking much more.

"Hey look, a bat!" Emmett exclaimed as he stood and proudly showed off his baseball bat. "Find me a mailbox."

Jake laughed and turned down a street lined with houses.

"You know what you should know, Embry?" Emmett said as he got his bat ready. "Remember to always put the toilet seat down. When a woman's ass hit's the cold water, she will give you the silent treatment for days."

Jake pulled closer to the sidewalk and Emmett reared back and swung his bat, taking the mailbox off the post.

Jasper jumped up and took the bat, ready for his turn. "Never, never, drink the rest of the milk and then put the empty carton back in the fridge. You would think an empty carton in the fridge meant the end of the world was coming."

Jasper swung and hit the next box that Jake drove by, while we all laughed at his milk comment.

"If you watch porn while your wife is not home, remember to take it back out of the DVD player." Jake said. "Especially if its gay porn, it's quite a shock to the system when her and her friends sit down to watch a movie."

We all bust out laughing at the image of Leah and her friends getting that little surprise.

"If you are going too be late, call and tell her." Carlisle said while hanging out the back window.

"That's a big one." I said.

"It is." Carlisle said seriously. "One night I agreed to work a double at the hospital and I forgot to call and let Esme know. Four hours after my second shift started Esme burst into the ER demanding to know what room I was dieing in. She argued with the receptionist that I had to have been in some horrible accident and was in a coma unable to call her. And she told the nurse that if I wasn't in a coma she was going to put me in one. I'm pretty sure the receptionist peed her pants. Suffice it to say, I have let Esme know when I am going to be home late ever since."

As we drove on, we drank more, smashed more mailboxes, and gave Embry more valuable marriage information. We kept switching spots so that Jake and Sam could have a chance at the mailbox baseball game we were playing. Carlisle opted out of the mailbox fun and stuck to giving advice and nursing his bottle of Bourbon.

All back in our original seats, but much more drunk than when we started out, a car sped up behind us and suddenly lights started flashing and a siren went off.

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit!" Jake yelled.

Emmett crammed the bat under a blanket in the back while we all started trying to hide the random bottles, which wasn't easy when there was nowhere to hide them.

"What do I do?" Jake asked panicked. "I can out run him."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Don't try to out run him. Just pull over."

"Oh, God." Embry said. "Bree is going to kill me, if I miss our wedding because I'm in jail."

"It's going to be fine." I said even though I was worried. We were a bunch of drunken guys, driving around vandalizing people's personal property.

Jake stopped the truck and we all sat quietly as we waited for the cop. The lights and sirens all went out and then the man emerged from the car and walked up to the truck.

"I knew I would find you guys." Charlie said as he hopped into the back of the truck. "I went to the club looking for you, but they said you had left a while ago. So what are we up to?"

We all just looked around nervously at each other.

"Where is it?" Charlie asked looking around the bed of the truck.

"Where's what?" I asked.

"The beer." Charlie answered confused. "This is a weird bachelor party, but it's a bachelor party none the less."

I pulled the blanket back to reveal the pile of liquor bottles in the corner.

"Nice." Charlie said as he grabbed one of the bottles and took a swig out of it. He looked to Emmett and said, "Where's the bat?"

"Umm…I don't know what you're talking about." Emmett stuttered.

"I saw the mailboxes." Charlie chuckled.

Emmett slipped the bat out from under him and handed it to Charlie. "Are we in trouble?"

"No." Charlie chuckled. "I'm off duty, I don't give a damn."

"How did you find us?" Jake asked through the back window.

"It was actually pretty easy." Charlie said. "You guys are the only car driving down the sidewalk going six miles an hour."

We looked over the side of the truck to notice that we were, in fact, on the sidewalk.

"Okay, let's go." Charlie said. "What else are we doing?"

"We have been giving Embry advice on marriage." Jasper answered.

Charlie stood up to take a turn at bat and said, "If she asks you if she looks fat, the answer is always _no_." Charlie swung the bat and shattered a mailbox. "If she asks you if another girl is better looking than her it's a trick question. If you say no, then you are admitting you checked her out. If you say yes than you are going to lose your balls. Just say, I didn't notice another girl."

"Hey, share the bat." Emmett complained after Charlie took off his third mailbox.

"Hey, you have had three hours, I just got here. I need to catch up." Charlie answered. "Oh, I got a good one!" Charlie said after handed the bat back to Emmett. "If your wife is acting like something is wrong and you ask her what's wrong and she answers with 'nothing', it doesn't matter, you're already in trouble."

We all laughed in agreement.

"If your woman starts a fight, just admit she's right." Jasper said. "She's not going to stop until you say it anyway and the make-up sex is awesome."

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"If your wife is horny, start a fight over something stupid. Because angry sex is the _best_ sex." Sam added.

I didn't want to hear this when they were talking about my daughter, but I couldn't disagree with what he said.

This, drinking, mailbox baseball, and advice carried on for a couple more hours.

"Oh, I want this one!" Emmett exclaimed as we came close to a mailbox that was a tiny replica of the actual house.

Jake moved closer to the mailbox as Emmett reared back and then swung with all his might. The bat flew out of Emmett's hand and mail box stayed standing.

"Shit!" Emmett exclaimed. "It was metal." He explained as he cradled his arm.

"Let's swing by the hospital and then call it a night." He suggested as he winced in pain.

"Sounds like a plan." I said as we all agreed.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Up next is the wedding and then we are done. *Wipes a tear* All good things must come to an end. **

**On a side note, I have started a new story. It is a Christmas story.**

**Summery: Every year in the tiny town of Forks, someone performs Christmas miracles for the people who need it the most. This year, people are determined to figure out the mystery of the miracle worker.**

**You can find it on my profile page. So leave a review here and then go check that story out!**

**See you soon!**


	33. Chapter 33: Forever my Doorstep Bundle

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related.**

**Well my amazing readers, this is it. The final chapter. I will let you get to it and save my authors note for the bottom. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 33: Forever my Doorstep Bundle**

**BPOV**

Watching Bree pace around the room in her robe, with her hair done up elaborately, was making even me nervous.

"Sit and let Rose finish your make-up." I said.

"I can't sit still." Bree said as she resumed her pacing. "Everything is going too smoothly, I just know something bad is going to happen."

"Everything is fine now and will be fine later as well." I said trying to calm her nerves.

"No. something can't be right." She said. "Who plans a wedding in a month? This was such a dumb idea. Not getting married, but getting married so quickly. It shouldn't have been this easy."

"Bree." Alice said placing her hands on Bree's shoulders halting her movements. "Everything is fine. Everything came so easily because that's just you and Embry. You guys are meant to be, so everything comes naturally and easily. Look at me; I'm Alice, if I'm not freaking out than you shouldn't be."

Bree seemed to relax as she let out a deep breath. "You're right." Bree said as she sat back down in the chair. "It always seems like the end of the world with you, so if you're calm than everything must be fine."

"I don't…I don't know if I should take offence to that." Alice said with a bewildered look on her face.

"No, sweetie." I said trying not to laugh.

"Well, anyways," Alice said getting over Bree's comment, "I most of all didn't think you would be able to pull off a wedding in a month, but I'm happy to admit I was wrong. Everything is ready and is going to be great, and wait until Embry sees you. You look gorgeous." Alice smiled at Bree.

Bree blushed and tried not to cry.

"No crying." Rose said. "If I have to redo your make-up I'm going to kick your ass."

"Such a sentiment to the bride." I joked.

"Mommy." Carlie sang as she came skipping into the room. She twirled in a circle showing off her dress as we all gushed over her.

"You look adorable." I said. "Where are all your flower petals?" I asked as I noticed her empty basket that was filled with rose petals.

"I was practicing." She stated.

I looked out the door to see all the rose petals covering the hallway floor.

"Told you not to give them to her yet." Bree mumbled.

I sighed and bend down in front of Carlie. "Go find Anthony and tell him to get you some more flowers, and don't use them yet."

"Yay! I get more flowers." Carlie yelled as she skipped out of the room.

Another hour and we were all ready for the wedding. Bree was back to pacing of course.

"Who's ready to get hitched?" Emmett said as he walked into the room.

"How's Embry?" Bree asked frantically. "Is he ready? Is he nervous? Is he getting cold feet? Has he changed his mind? Oh, God, he's changed his mind hasn't he? Just tell me, I can handle it."

"Slow down." Emmett laughed as he placed his hands on Bree's shoulders to stop her pacing. "Embry is ready. He's a bit nervous, but he is definitely ready to do this."

"Alright." Bree sighed.

"Just calm down." Emmett laughed.

Emmett and Rose left the room to get their seats. They were followed behind by Alice who went to find Jasper. Bree and I were left in the room to wait until it was time to start.

We both turned to the door when we heard a gasp.

**EPOV**

I stood in the doorway of Bree's dressing room, stunned by how beautiful she looked. Today I was giving my little girl away, and I was not ready for it.

"You look gorgeous." I whispered. I cleared my throat so that I could speak louder. I took a deep breath trying to push back the tears that were threatening to come.

Bree wrapped her arms around my waist and I held on to her tightly. I wasn't ready to admit that Bree was grown. I wasn't ready to admit that she was about to get married and have a life outside of my own.

"Don't start crying already." Bella said from next to us. "We have plenty of time for that later."

Bella hugged Bree and wished her luck. "I am going to give you two a few minutes." She said.

"I will join you in a few minutes." I said giving her a kiss.

After it was just Bree and I in the room I looked at Bree and said, "I know I'm supposed to give you some heart felt fatherly speech right now, but I can't think of a thing to say. I hate to admit that you are grown and don't need me anymore."

"I will always need you, dad." Bree said.

"I know, but you are going to have your own family now." I said. "Hopefully not too soon though. I'm still too young to be a grandfather."

Bree snorted and then hugged me again. "I love you, dad."

"I love too." I said kissing the top of her head.

"Time to go." Anthony said as he knocked on the door.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I am." She smiled.

We stood at the back of the line and watched everyone walk down the isle. Carlie and Seth were the flower girl and ring bearer. They held hands and Carlie had her basket over their joined hands, so that she could throw flowers without letting go of Seth's hand.

The Wedding March started and Bree and I made our grand entrance. Bree's eyes were locked on Embry as Embry watched her with the biggest smile I have ever seen on anybody.

Right then I knew they were making the right decision. I have always known that this day would come, but it was the first time I was admitting to myself that they were meant for each other.

"Are you sure about this?" I joked. "It's not too late to turn around. We could go to Chuck E. Cheese."

"I'm sure." Bree smiled up at me. "Chuck E. Cheese?" She asked confused.

"The promise of Chuck E. Cheese use to get you to do anything." I chuckled.

"Sorry, dad." She smiled. "That isn't going to work anymore. But we can go there after I get back from my honeymoon if you like."

"Don't say honeymoon." I groaned. "In my mind you are visiting a convent for a week."

We both laughed and then the joking came to an end. We were out of time for jokes as we stood at the front of the church and in front of Embry. I took Bree's hand and placed it in Embry's hand. I kissed Bree on the cheek once more and then joined Bella in our seats.

I wrapped an arm around Bella and pulled her close to me. She was already blubbering like a baby. As we watched Bree and Embry say their vows, my own tears made themselves known.

Once the ceremony was over we stood and clapped as they were announced Mr. and Mrs. Embry Black. Once the photos were done, which seemed to take forever, we headed to Wanda's house for the reception. We had originally planned for the reception to be in Carlisle and Esme's back yard, but was switched to Wanda's ballroom.

I should say Wanda and Charlie's ballroom. Charlie and Wanda got married a few years ago and Charlie moved in with her.

We walked into the house and were ushered into the room for the reception; the room was huge and was decorated in white and silver balloons, flowers and candles.

We all sat at the head table along side, Bree and Embry. The toasts were mostly embarrassing for Bree and Embry. Emmett's toast made everybody look at him in confusion as he talked in a language him and Bree had made up when she was little. None of us had any idea what he said, but Bree was smiling and crying at the same time, so I guess she understood. To the rest of us it was some sort of alien language.

"Slow down and pace yourself." Alice said to Jasper.

"It's just wine." Jasper said defending himself.

"Yes, but honey, you are a light weight." Alice chuckled.

Jasper looked at Alice as if to say "that's a lie".

"You are." Emmett laughed. "How many times now have you shrunk?"

"Never." Jasper said.

"Never that you can remember." Bella chuckled.

"If I don't remember it, than it never happened." Jasper reasoned.

After dinner was eaten, the first dance started. Bree and Embry looked completely happy and in love. I squeezed Bella to my side and whispered how I couldn't believe our little girl was all grown up.

"Mom, Dad, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Anna Mallory." Anthony introduced as he walked up to us with a tiny blonde clutching his hand.

"It's nice to meet you." Anna said shyly.

Anthony has never had a serious girlfriend, so for him to introduce her to us is a big deal. Anna stands about a foot shorter than Anthony with blonde curly hair, and bright blues eyes. And by the looks of her trying to hide her body behind Anthony's, she is definitely shy.

"Mallory?" Emmett asked. "Are you related to Lauren Mallory?"

"Yeah, she's my mom." Anna smiled.

"Oh." Emmett said. "That's a…great."

We all just looked at Emmett as he shifted his feet nervously avoiding eye contact.

"Oookay." Anthony said. "Well, we are going to go."

"Let's dance." Anna smiled up at him.

Anthony got a huge smile of his own and said, "We are go to go dance."

"Oh, she's so cute." Bella squealed when they walked away. "And she got our son to dance. She's a keeper."

"We know her mom." I said and then pointedly looked at Emmett.

"We went to school with her." Emmett said. "She was such a whore."

"Emmett." Rose chastised him, smacking his arm.

"What? She was."

"Did you sleep with her?" She asked.

"Yeah, in her dreams." Emmett scoffed.

Bella looked up at me and I shook my head answering her silent question. I also did not sleep with her.

"So, you are saying her daughter is a whore by association?" Bella asked. "She seems sweet and shy, and I doubt my son would date a whore."

"No." Emmett said. "Maybe whorism skips a generation."

I furrowed my brows and said, "So, what you are saying is if they happen top stay together and get married and start a family, that my granddaughter will be a whore?"

"I don't…I mean…There is just no fixing this." Emmett rambled. We all laughed at him.

Alice made her way to the stage and announced that it was time to throw the bouquet. She asked for all the single women to make there way to the center of the dance floor.

"That's me." Carlie yelled as she ran onto the dance floor shoving her way to the front.

"Oh, God." I mumbled.

And of course, she caught it.

Next was the garter toss. Seth didn't want to try to catch it but Carlie made him. He caught it. Whether he caught it because he should have or because all the other guys backed up thanks to Carlie's death glare, the world may never know.

"This means we are getting married next." Carlie smiled at me.

"Well, not any time soon." I sighed.

"Daddy, "Carlie said with her hands on her hips. "I am ten; I am half way to a woman. You need to deal with that."

Bella snorted, covering her mouth with her hand to try to hold in her laughter. I looked at her and said, "I can't deal with that."

"I know you can't." Bella laughed.

"We are getting married! We are getting married!" Carlie chanted as she skipped away dragging Seth behind her.

"Heaven help that boy." Bella laughed.

"I need a drink." I grumbled.

Bella and I made our way to the bar that was set up in the corner in the room, Bella still chuckling to herself.

"Edward, you are just in time." Charlie yelled from a table next to the bar.

"What am I in time for?" I asked. I looked around the table at Charlie, Billy, Sam, Jacob, Emmett and Japer.

"Chugging competition." Charlie and Billy said together.

"You are not frat guys." Bella said.

"You are never too old for a good chugging competition, sweetie." Charlie said.

"Okay." Bella laughed. "Well, you guys have fun pretending you are not old. I am going to find the girls."

I sat down at the table and smiled at the guys. "Let's chug boys." I said.

Jacob slid a glass of beer over to me and then Charlie said, "Bottoms up."

"I think I am going to sit this game out." Jasper said.

Charlie set his glass down and cocked an eyebrow at Jasper and asked, "Why?"

"Alice said…" Jasper started before Charlie cut him off.

"Oh! Alice said." Charlie taunted. "Did you hear that? Alice said."

"I did hear that." Billy said.

"Why don't you get your balls out of your purse and play a mans game." Charlie said. "Stop being afraid of Alice."

"I am not afraid of Alice." Jasper said.

"Uh-huh." We all said.

"Tell me something Jasper." Billy said. "Are your balls in Alice's purse or do you have your own purse?"

"I do not have a purse." Jasper sighed.

Billy and Charlie looked at each other and said in unison, "Fanny pack."

"They are in my pants." Jasper all but yelled.

"You keep your purse in your pants?" Charlie asked.

How they could go through all this with straight faces is beyond me. The rest of us at the table were dying with laughter.

"No! My balls are in my pants!" Jasper yelled. "Fuck it. Let's drink."

Jasper picked up his beer and started chugging and we all followed suit.

We downed our beers and glasses started hitting the table.

"I win." Emmett bellowed.

"You don't win." I argued. "Half of your beer is on you."

Emmett looked down to find the front of his tux was soaked in beer. "Oh, shit, Rose is going to kill me."

"Oh, Jesus." Charlie mumbled as he refilled everyone's glasses. "Do you keep your balls in Jasper's purse?"

"What is with your obsession with everyone's balls tonight?" Jake asked.

We all burst out laughing again.

"I heard balls, I had to come investigate." James said as he bounced over to the table, literally. "What are we doing?"

Jake explained about the balls comments as we continued our game.

"I want to play." James whined. "I could drink any one of you under the table."

Charlie choked and spit beer across the table. "I just got the most horrible image when you said that."

"In your dreams old man." James winked.

Charlie laughed the comment off and set up another round. The game went on for a little while longer, we all won at some point, all of us starting to lean and wobble, some more than others. Jasper. He really is a light weight.

"Charlie!" Wanda yelled waving Charlie over to her.

"Shit, the boss calls." Charlie said standing from his chair. "I guess I'm out."

"The boss, huh?" Emmett said. "And you were giving us shit?"

"I was joking; you were the morons that caved." Charlie laughed. "I wasn't told not to drink and I didn't ruin my tux, I won't be getting in any trouble."

"And where are your balls, Charlie?" Jasper asked.

"On Wanda's chin in about an hour." He said and then walked off.

It was my turn to choke on my beer. I groaned and said, "I did not need to hear my father-in-law say that."

Billy clapped me on the back and said, "I'm his best friend and even I didn't need to hear that."

"Let's go find the girls." I said standing from my chair. I swayed a little and righted myself. I definitely needed to cut myself off of beer.

Everyone stood up from the table and then we all looked to Jasper who was still sitting at the table.

"You coming?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah." Jasper answered.

"Well then stand up." I laughed.

Jasper looked around himself in bewilderment. "I thought I was standing." He said.

"Here we go again." Jake laughed.

Emmett grabbed Jasper's arms and pulled him up to his feet.

"Whoa, it's like I'm a giant." Jasper laughed.

"Well, that's a switch." Sam said.

We made our way around the room and found the girls standing by the stage where the band was set up. I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and laid my head on her shoulder.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Limbo contest!" Alice said excitedly.

"Who has a limbo contest at a wedding?" I asked.

"It's for the kids." Bella laughed.

Emmett, who had removed his coat and was stretching out his back groaned and asked, "Adults can't limbo?"

"No one ever accused you of being an adult, Emmett, so I guess you can compete." Alice said.

"Yes!" Emmett said. "You little brats are going down." All the kids standing near us laughed.

"Jasper!" Alice screeched when she saw Jasper leaning against the wall starting to fall over. "Didn't I say not to drink?"

"By balls aren't in your purse." He argued.

"Just wait till you see what I do with them." She threatened.

The limbo contest for the kids, and apparently Emmett, started. All of the kids walked under the bar and got back in line. Emmett danced up to the bar and then bent backwards, shimmying his giant body under the bar. He got half way under the bar before he fell on his ass. He got on his hands and knees to stand, and revealed that he had split his pants.

"Emmett Cullen!" Rose scolded. "These pants are now ruined. And why the hell is your shirt soaked?"

Emmett shrugged and said, "My balls are in Jasper's purse."

I snorted into Bella's shoulder, who full out laughed.

"I want to hear _YMCA_." Jasper shouted as he pushed himself off the wall.

The band started playing the song Jasper requested. The dance floor was filled with kids and Jasper, jumping around, spelling YMCA with their arms. Jasper started pulling out some old John Travolta moves and the kids all laughed and tried to copy what he was doing.

"I really hope this is being video taped." I said.

"Oh, my God, me too." Bella laughed.

Jasper took up his spot on the wall when the song was over. We watched him as he started to slowly slip down the wall towards the floor.

"Oh, it's happening again." Jasper said with wide fearful eyes.

I laughed uncontrollably along with everyone else.

Once I got my laughter under control I kissed Bella on the cheek and said, "I am going to go dance with Bree before they leave for the nunnery."

"Nunnery?" Bella asked confused.

"Yes. I am telling myself they are visiting a nunnery and not going on a honeymoon."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Bella laughed.

"It will work." I said. No, it wasn't going to work.

I walked across the floor and found Bree and Embry snuggled up at a table watching everyone.

"May I have a dance with the beautiful bride?" I asked.

"Of course, dad." Bree smiled taking my hand.

I led Bree on to the dance floor and spun her in a circle as she squealed in surprise with a huge smile.

"What's going on over there?" Bree asked pointing towards the band.

I looked over to see Jasper sitting on the floor as Alice stomped around him laughing. Jasper looked scared as hell and everyone around them was in hysterics.

"Oh, Jasper shrunk again." I answered.

"It wouldn't be a party if Uncle Jasper didn't shrink." Bree laughed.

"You are right about that." I agreed. "I guess you can call your reception a success."

Bree looked over toward Embry, who was twirling his mother, Leah, around the dance floor and smiled while saying, "I think the whole day was a success."

"You are going in my purse with your balls." We heard Alice taunt Jasper.

"Do I want to know what that means?" Bree asked.

"Your grandpa Charlie taunted Jasper into drinking." I answered.

"Enough said." Bree laughed.

"I have to agree with you about it being a successful day." I said getting serious. I am so proud of you. You have grown from a cute, smart, little girl into a beautiful, intelligent woman."

Bree smiled up at me and blushed while I continued, "You got a job doing what you love, you have married the man that you love, you are going to have a great future, and we all can see that already. Even though you are now starting your own family, know that I am always going to be here for you."

I wiped a tear from Bree's cheek as we swayed back and forth to the music. "Always." I said. "No matter how old you get, or how big your family gets, you will always be my Doorstep Bundle."

_**~The End~**_

**A/N: I hope you all liked the last chapter. I am sad this story has come to an end. When I started this story I was planning on it being about ten chapters, and here we are at chapter thirty-three! **

**I need to thank you all for the amazing reviews! Thank you to everyone who put this story on their favorite's list.**

**A big thank you to everyone who recommended, tweeted, facebooked, blogged, told a friend, basically to who ever pimped this story out. You are awesome.**

**Also a thank you to everyone who gave me idea's along the way. You made the story better.**

**To everyone who read and didn't review, I thank you also. The fact that you took the time just to read it means a lot.**

**To the reviewers: you guys made me laugh so much! The reviews about people peeing there pants, and waking up people in their house had me peeing my own pants.**

**A lot of people have asked if I am going to write a sequel with Bree and Embry. As of right now I am not planning on it, but you never know down the line.**

**If you are reading Payback on the Player's, I plan on finishing that. I learned I can not write more than one story at a time. The people who write multiple stories at once impress me.**

**I also have another story in the works, but I want to get it mostly written before I post it here. I don't want to make everyone wait long periods between updates, which happened here. I apologize for the long waits towards the end.**

**I have had a blast writing this story! I will see you for the next story.**

**For the last time…Leave a review! **


	34. AN

**Hello all of my lovely readers. I am loving and appreciating all the reviews Doorstep Bundle is still getting. **

**I am putting up this author's note to tell you about my new story I have started. It is called, "Tell us a story, Grandma". Summary: Bella is babysitting her grandchildren for the week. They want to hear a story...hers**.

**It is a romance/drama story, but it will contain a little bit of everything. You all know I can't go without the funny, so of course some of it will be funny.**

**The link is on my profile, so head over there and read and review. I hope to see you over there!**


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